friendship with a Gemini?

My sun sign: Scorpio, moon sign: Taurus, ascendant sign: Sagittarius

Hello my fellow Geminis! I need help with a male Gemini friend that i've met online. Sighs* I know us Scorpio have a bad reputation, especially among Geminis, but I'd rather look into the good of it. 😄

Firstly, I am married, met this friend in a video game forum and he messaged me first. We started debating about evolution/life, bla bla bla and then we became good friends. In between conversations, he would throw flirty remarks and compliments. Of course I appreciated it and threw some back too, but kind of acted like I didn't know about it. Also, I made it clear that I'm married, flirting is fine, but I have certain boundaries.



Two weeks later, he became very sensual/sexual with his words. He sent me nudes! I never asked for it but he kept saying I know I wanted it. Haha I did look at it, (enjoyed it honestly) but I warned and reminded him that I'm not sending any back and he was cool with it. To be fair? We just exchanged face shots. To see what we looked like. His ego gets to him and says he can seduce me lol, but I just laugh out loud in the inside.

From that day on, he would come online every day/every other day. Check up on me to see what's up during late nights. (By the way, I stay up late nights because I'm a freelance artist, work from home for a living.) AnywayS, whenever I try to stir the conversation into different topics, he'd ignore it. From the start, he says he's a "simple and straightforward guy", but he seems more complex to me.

Looks like he has a hard time showing his emotions. When talking about love/relationships, I encouraged him that he should meet other women, he ignores me and moves on with other things. He did talk about his past relationships and wouldn't open too much about it. He sometimes lashes out at me for stop trying to figure him out 😛 (Sorry, Geminis I just wanted to help him out with relationship issues, but started overanalyzing). I always tell him I enjoy talking to him as a friend and told him can talk to me about anything and he acted a bit shy and weird. If he does that, I bring up jokes like, "thought you were a simple pringle? We're all humans right?" Funny thing is, he switches back to the "simple" mode where he tries to keep it cool too. It seems like he goes the opposite way when i "encourage" him to feel free to come to me when he needs a buddy to talk to.

Then the other day, he would say something immaturely, indirectly, and maybe obvious. He didn't come online for several days, out of nowhere he messages me saying stuff normally. I asked him what's up, how he's feeling tonight, etc. So, he says he's feeling low spirited, overlooked into things without thinking, expect too much and be one sided about things. He said he will eat bunch of candy and watch movies to overcome it?? I kind of got worried, without being pushy, I asked him if he wanted to elaborate on it, he refused, so I tried to keep things positive, and talk bout other things, but he just shut me off. His routine would usually be him responding back to me with a message the next day, but I didn't get any.

I'm highly assuming its about his feelings for me, and I didn't really react and respond to it. I felt like he was trying to make feel guilty? I feel bad about it, but not guilty of course. For you Geminis,you think he will ever talk to me again? :/ As a Scorpio woman, I tend to keep things cool/laid back and not get crazy on the outside at least. What I especially loved it when he kept me distracted with convos during late nights while I'm working, and I equally entertained him with talks, but drew the line when things had to stop or I needed to focus.

@Ownard

This is the perfect example of how (most) women view friendships differently than (most) men.

Posted by applewine
I need help with a male Gemini friend that i've met online.

Firstly, I am married, met this friend in a video game forum and he messaged me first. We started debating about evolution/life, bla bla bla and then we became good friends. In between conversations, he would throw flirty remarks and compliments. Of course I appreciated it and threw some back too, but kind of acted like I didn't know about it. Also, I made it clear that I'm married, flirting is fine, but I have certain boundaries.



Two weeks later, he became very sensual/sexual with his words. He sent me nudes! I never asked for it but he kept saying I know I wanted it. Haha I did look at it, (enjoyed it honestly) but I warned and reminded him that I'm not sending any back and he was cool with it. To be fair? We just exchanged face shots. To see what we looked like. His ego gets to him and says he can seduce me lol, but I just laugh out loud in the inside.

From that day on, he would come online every day/every other day. Check up on me to see what's up during late nights. (By the way, I stay up late nights because I'm a freelance artist, work from home for a living.) AnywayS, whenever I try to stir the conversation into different topics, he'd ignore it. From the start, he says he's a "simple and straightforward guy", but he seems more complex to me.

Looks like he has a hard time showing his emotions. When talking about love/relationships, I encouraged him that he should meet other women, he ignores me and moves on with other things. He did talk about his past relationships and wouldn't open too much about it. He sometimes lashes out at me for stop trying to figure him out 😛 (Sorry, Geminis I just wanted to help him out with relationship issues, but started overanalyzing). I always tell him I enjoy talking to him as a friend and told him can talk to me about anything and he acted a bit shy and weird. If he does that, I bring up jokes like, "thought you were a simple pringle? We're all humans right?" Funny thing is, he switches back to the "simple" mode where he tries to keep it cool too. It seems like he goes the opposite way when i "encourage" him to feel free to come to me when he needs a buddy to talk to.

Its obvious that this guy is not interested in being her friend. He was never interested in being her friend from the very beggining. Friends don't send nudes and talk sex.

However in her mind, because she told him she's married and only wants friendship, she is able to compartmentalize him as 'friend'. Problem is giving him the friend title doesn't take away his sexual desire or change his motive in approaching her to begin with.

This is how men and women are different when it comes to friendship. Men will still fuck their friends who are female. Women call a dude 'friend' when they do not want to fuck him. Are you understanding...?

Do you get nudes from your female “friends” too 😁

@wiseblood yes. We met at a video game forum because that's where my interest lies. My career lies on that path as well. By the way, as most people judge by it, video games are not only for children. People misunderstand the industry, but there's alot of essential jobs within the category. Please don't judge and call it random. Also, I didn't note that My husband and I leave our marriage in mutual agreement. We're allowed to do whatever online as he does it, and i keep things lightly. This all happened due to past experiences and arguments. As long as we don't cross the line, flirting and up to nudes (he gets some, i don't know if he does exchange some? I don't want to deal with it lol but I'd rather not send any of my own) is fine. I didn't mention it first, so my bad on my part. Like @nano said, all marriages are different.

@nano Oh. I've almost gone through that kind of situation several times, which is absolutely why i know how to juggle things. The most i got is sexual tension, but that's it, just like this one. duh, it drives the other person nuts and they leave. The way i brought all this up, I can get a bit nosy and it's quite a flaw. I try to push myself back and slow myself down. By the way, I like to flirt and it's flattering, love the attention, but mostly I cherish the our conversations with him. I just miss his presence. We don't need to talk often either, I don't want him to shut me down, just want things chill and subtle. I'm being sincere here. Is it really not believable? Am i stuck in the twighlight zone lol I don't know. Maybe the Aquarius in Mars prefer mental stimulation over sexual. I do alot of daydreaming and thinking. Anyway, I'm letting him be whether he might appear out of nowhere or if he cuts me off.

@moonbutter I'm asian. We go to public sauna's sometimes. I've seen my close friends naked and we don't pay attention. Might weird people out, but it's a cultural thing. Grew up going to Sauna's and outdoor spas in Japan. Also, if it's a complete stranger, NO. lol

Here I go. off topic. Sparked me on when people make fun of the art field "especially" in the video game industry, etc. Everyone will hate on me more for this. Whatever. I cannot look up to or admire people that don't have any passion or interest in life. I believe that everyone on earth has a purpose/a mission to accomplish here. I feel like people who invent,create things, just anything to do with specializing in their skill/craft are so much more. Women that randomly get knocked up, have several kids without thinking about finances, people who just hang out and do nothing. I just can't have any respect. I believe there's always something more out there.

Was that OP in English? Just asking...

Posted by applewine
@wiseblood yes. We met at a video game forum because that's where my interest lies. My career lies on that path as well. By the way, as most people judge by it, video games are not only for children. People misunderstand the industry, but there's alot of essential jobs within the category. Please don't judge and call it random. Also, I didn't note that My husband and I leave our marriage in mutual agreement. We're allowed to do whatever online as he does it, and i keep things lightly. This all happened due to past experiences and arguments. As long as we don't cross the line, flirting and up to nudes (he gets some, i don't know if he does exchange some? I don't want to deal with it lol but I'd rather not send any of my own) is fine. I didn't mention it first, so my bad on my part. Like @nano said, all marriages are different.

@nano Oh. I've almost gone through that kind of situation several times, which is absolutely why i know how to juggle things. The most i got is sexual tension, but that's it, just like this one. duh, it drives the other person nuts and they leave. The way i brought all this up, I can get a bit nosy and it's quite a flaw. I try to push myself back and slow myself down. By the way, I like to flirt and it's flattering, love the attention, but mostly I cherish the our conversations with him. I just miss his presence. We don't need to talk often either, I don't want him to shut me down, just want things chill and subtle. I'm being sincere here. Is it really not believable? Am i stuck in the twighlight zone lol I don't know. Maybe the Aquarius in Mars prefer mental stimulation over sexual. I do alot of daydreaming and thinking. Anyway, I'm letting him be whether he might appear out of nowhere or if he cuts me off.

@moonbutter I'm asian. We go to public sauna's sometimes. I've seen my close friends naked and we don't pay attention. Might weird people out, but it's a cultural thing. Grew up going to Sauna's and outdoor spas in Japan. Also, if it's a complete stranger, NO. lol

Ohhh hell no, I won’t even let a make mesuse touch me. I’m out.

Snaps for @nano and @wiseblood ya'll are hitting on some very serious points and breaking this down to what this conversation really is about:

"Halp! The Gemini guy that I've been flirting with and cheating with emotionally has suddenly stopped feeding my ego! I dunno what to do, how do I get him back in that little box so I can continue to gulp down his sexual admiration for me and yet keep it kosher enough to stay in my monogamous marriage?!?"

OP, you've has a sip of that fine Gemini Wine, and you've become addicted. I am not here to discredit your marriage, and personally as a polyamorous person I understand that commitment comes in MANY different forms... However, communication is key for any relationship and it seems like you aren't getting much from your current spouse. You don't know if he's receiving nudes? Why not? If you were both honest about the flirtatious openness of your marriage, he should be letting you know what he's getting sent to his phone, unless you both have a mutual agreement to not let your "flirting" be talked about in your marriage. If I'm crushing hard on a dude, I tell my SO. If he flirted with a girl at work, he tells me. Then we get all turned on and fuck 😄 It's beautiful knowing that your partner is sexy to others but still comes home to you. THAT'S the type of ego boost I like.

Leave the guy alone. First off, he disrespected you OFF THE BAT! You said you were married and he was basically like "lolz, not for long, here's a pic of my dick!". If you were really trying to keep him at bay (i.e. in the "friend zone") you would have blocked his ass right then and there.

Secondly, you flirted back and let him entertain the idea of having you in his bed...

Doing sneaky stuff is fun! And the rush of adrenaline you get from his texts are addicting. You feel fresh and new because you've found a new male to gaze at you longingly. This relationship was for your ego alone, not for friendship.

Accept that and leave the guy be.

Posted by wiseblood

Posted by Pandala
Snaps for @nano and @wiseblood ya'll are hitting on some very serious points and breaking this down to what this conversation really is about:

"Halp! The Gemini guy that I've been flirting with and cheating with emotionally has suddenly stopped feeding my ego! I dunno what to do, how do I get him back in that little box so I can continue to gulp down his sexual admiration for me and yet keep it kosher enough to stay in my monogamous marriage?!?"

OP, you've has a sip of that fine Gemini Wine, and you've become addicted. I am not here to discredit your marriage, and personally as a polyamorous person I understand that commitment comes in MANY different forms... However, communication is key for any relationship and it seems like you aren't getting much from your current spouse. You don't know if he's receiving nudes? Why not? If you were both honest about the flirtatious openness of your marriage, he should be letting you know what he's getting sent to his phone, unless you both have a mutual agreement to not let your "flirting" be talked about in your marriage. If I'm crushing hard on a dude, I tell my SO. If he flirted with a girl at work, he tells me. Then we get all turned on and fuck 😄 It's beautiful knowing that your partner is sexy to others but still comes home to you. THAT'S the type of ego boost I like.

Leave the guy alone. First off, he disrespected you OFF THE BAT! You said you were married and he was basically like "lolz, not for long, here's a pic of my dick!". If you were really trying to keep him at bay (i.e. in the "friend zone") you would have blocked his ass right then and there.

Secondly, you flirted back and let him entertain the idea of having you in his bed...

Doing sneaky stuff is fun! And the rush of adrenaline you get from his texts are addicting. You feel fresh and new because you've found a new male to gaze at you longingly. This relationship was for your ego alone, not for friendship.

Accept that and leave the guy be.

YEAHHHHHH! My girl!! 😄

click to expand

Love you!!!

Just piggybacking off what you said earlier, so much truth!