Gemini guy has blown me off?

One of my guy friends is a Gemini and we had been flirting on and off for months now. At first it seemed he was really into me. He always complimented me, telling he enjoyed my company..found me beautiful etc. He even kept hinting how he was totally my type. We had a lot of things in common. I fell for him and confessed how I felt. He replied he was flattered but dating is not his thing (afraid of commitment) and that he kinda loved someone else..but he was honored to have me as one of his closest friends. I was crushed but kept cool and we remained friends.
The weird part was even after rejecting me he would say weird stuff like he would prefer me over everyone. He really wants to hang out etc.
On the other hand, ever since the confession he tends to flake a lot on plans now, doesnt compliment me anymore and barely initiates conversations. But whenever I do..we talk a lot. We had plans to hang out soon but it has been cancelled twice. He stood me up once for which he apologized a lot and promised to make it upto me.

I stopped talking for a while because of the one sided ness. Then after a couple of weeks. I caved in saying I missed having him around.
He profusely apologized, saying he was very busy and that he will call me as soon as he is free. So far weeks have gone by. I havent heard anything. What is up with him? Is he blowing me off? I am a Libra woman btw. I really can't understand him.

Posted by Shadowsong110
One of my guy friends is a Gemini and we had been flirting on and off for months now. At first it seemed he was really into me. He always complimented me, telling he enjoyed my company..found me beautiful etc. He even kept hinting how he was totally my type. We had a lot of things in common. I fell for him and confessed how I felt. He replied he was flattered but dating is not his thing (afraid of commitment) and that he kinda loved someone else..but he was honored to have me as one of his closest friends. I was crushed but kept cool and we remained friends.
The weird part was even after rejecting me he would say weird stuff like he would prefer me over everyone. He really wants to hang out etc.
On the other hand, ever since the confession he tends to flake a lot on plans now, doesnt compliment me anymore and barely initiates conversations. But whenever I do..we talk a lot. We had plans to hang out soon but it has been cancelled twice. He stood me up once for which he apologized a lot and promised to make it upto me.

I stopped talking for a while because of the one sided ness. Then after a couple of weeks. I caved in saying I missed having him around.
He profusely apologized, saying he was very busy and that he will call me as soon as he is free. So far weeks have gone by. I havent heard anything. What is up with him? Is he blowing me off? I am a Libra woman btw. I really can't understand him.

Sometimes Geminis just say shit to say it. Mental head games...you know. He's not interested.

Also, I've done this to a friend too. He confessed that he was in love with me. I didn't feel the same so spending time with him afterwards felt very awkward. I just stopped completely because I didn't want him to confuse my feelings.

Thank you everyone for the replies. Its just sad I rarely like a guy and the one I finally liked turned out to be a dud.
I had confronted about the flakiness that it really put me off. He said that he flakes out on all his friends.
I got totally blindsided by the fact first he was totally into me and now its like I got the plague on me. Might be the fact he is a commitment phobe because I explicitly said I am not into hook ups or casual flings. He kept pestering me why do I value commitment so much. And that he couldnt understand why.
He warned me that it is him I should be afraid of.

Sometimes I also feel he is playing around. But then he reaches out immediately when I am low and in need of support. He mentioned he hated playing games.

Well my safe bet would be to assume he isnt interested. I dont want to get my hopes too high. His birthday is next month..maybe I'll just give a casual call. Other than that I am better off moving on.

Posted by whatthecrab

Posted by Shadowsong110
He warned me that it is him I should be afraid of.

Believe him.

But then he reaches out immediately when I am low and in need of support.

He wants to be your friend.

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Totally this! He's being honest with you that he does indeed like you but doesn't want to hurt you. I know he comes off as very flirtatious and charming, which your attracted to, but those traits are not exclusively being shown to you. If you can handle having him as a friend then keep him around, otherwise just cut the cord...

Posted by Shadowsong110
One of my guy friends is a Gemini and we had been flirting on and off for months now. At first it seemed he was really into me. He always complimented me, telling he enjoyed my company..found me beautiful etc. He even kept hinting how he was totally my type. We had a lot of things in common. I fell for him and confessed how I felt. He replied he was flattered but dating is not his thing (afraid of commitment) and that he kinda loved someone else..but he was honored to have me as one of his closest friends. I was crushed but kept cool and we remained friends.
The weird part was even after rejecting me he would say weird stuff like he would prefer me over everyone. He really wants to hang out etc.
On the other hand, ever since the confession he tends to flake a lot on plans now, doesnt compliment me anymore and barely initiates conversations. But whenever I do..we talk a lot. We had plans to hang out soon but it has been cancelled twice. He stood me up once for which he apologized a lot and promised to make it upto me.

I stopped talking for a while because of the one sided ness. Then after a couple of weeks. I caved in saying I missed having him around.
He profusely apologized, saying he was very busy and that he will call me as soon as he is free. So far weeks have gone by. I havent heard anything. What is up with him? Is he blowing me off? I am a Libra woman btw. I really can't understand him.

I get what you are going through... I went through same thing with my Gem guy friend where he would say things and act like he wanted to be with me but then change his mind and yes cancel on me. I've known my friend several years and we do have a special connection can talk to him about anything but I've realized his life is waaaay too complicated and I don't fit in to it. Best as friends only.

Posted by Shadowsong110
One of my guy friends is a Gemini and we had been flirting on and off for months now. At first it seemed he was really into me. He always complimented me, telling he enjoyed my company..found me beautiful etc. He even kept hinting how he was totally my type. We had a lot of things in common. I fell for him and confessed how I felt. He replied he was flattered but dating is not his thing (afraid of commitment) and that he kinda loved someone else..but he was honored to have me as one of his closest friends. I was crushed but kept cool and we remained friends.
The weird part was even after rejecting me he would say weird stuff like he would prefer me over everyone. He really wants to hang out etc.
On the other hand, ever since the confession he tends to flake a lot on plans now, doesnt compliment me anymore and barely initiates conversations. But whenever I do..we talk a lot. We had plans to hang out soon but it has been cancelled twice. He stood me up once for which he apologized a lot and promised to make it upto me.

I stopped talking for a while because of the one sided ness. Then after a couple of weeks. I caved in saying I missed having him around.
He profusely apologized, saying he was very busy and that he will call me as soon as he is free. So far weeks have gone by. I havent heard anything. What is up with him? Is he blowing me off? I am a Libra woman btw. I really can't understand him.

He's blowing you off. While you were being genuine in expressing your feelings toward him, he was being honest when he told you dating isn't his thing. And this "kinda other love" interest? Yeah, sounds like his focus is on someone else. Better off as friends on this one.

Gem's are usually commitment-phobes in general so for him to even suggest there's someone else in the picture he has feelings for... that's saying a lot for him and if you continue to pursue you're probably just wasting your time at this point.

Well I did kinda gave up on pursuing him and thought I can handle being friends. The reason I had contacted last time..is I have a lot going on in my life. Stressed. Moving soon.

But it seems I cant even be a friend. I am acting weird which is probably...he realised I still have feelings. It hurts. Because this hang out idea was initiated by him. When I came back from my holiday, he would constantly ask when am I coming to see him. Plus some other things just reignited my hopes.

The mixed signals got me confused. Lol he does have a lot of female friends who he had dubbed crazy and annoying. I don't want to be one of them.
I was thinking to just confront him about blowing me off and the hot/cold thing. Laying it all on the table , will probably be a bitter pill to swallow. Or maybe I just fade away without a word?

Posted by Shadowsong110

I fell for him and confessed how I felt. He replied he was flattered but dating is not his thing and that he kinda loved someone else..

So far weeks have gone by. I havent heard anything. What is up with him? Is he blowing me off?

I really can't understand him.

It's very simple to understand, but, to do so, you must first realize that friends don't owe you anything, they don't have an obligation to keep a constant vigilance over your need for reassurance.

A boyfriend would have that obligation.

You are expecting a friend to act like a boyfriend ... and as soon as you realize that this is an unrealistic expectation, the sooner you will realize that he hasn't really done you wrong in any way.

A friend CAN go weeks without contacting their friends ... and it doesn't mean the friend is being blown off. It means this friend is busy with life, and as a friend, it is your responsibility in accepting that friends aren't obligated to you.

It seems to me that the moment you decided to tell him how you feel .... you then had expectations on him performing for you accordingly.

Not every person who comes into your life is with the purpose of being exactly what you want of them to be. In fact, no person probably comes into your life with the purpose of them being exactly what you want.

The purpose of people coming into your life ... is so they can be who they are, and when they are. He has stated who he is, and that he loves another. So, it's your job to let him live, as he has a right to do, and not expect him to cater to your wishes.


That is .. if you believe in unconditional love. If you don't believe in love ... then none of this applies to you.


Have a good day 🙂

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Shadowsong110

I fell for him and confessed how I felt. He replied he was flattered but dating is not his thing and that he kinda loved someone else..

So far weeks have gone by. I havent heard anything. What is up with him? Is he blowing me off?

I really can't understand him.

It's very simple to understand, but, to do so, you must first realize that friends don't owe you anything, they don't have an obligation to keep a constant vigilance over your need for reassurance.

A boyfriend would have that obligation.

You are expecting a friend to act like a boyfriend ... and as soon as you realize that this is an unrealistic expectation, the sooner you will realize that he hasn't really done you wrong in any way.

A friend CAN go weeks without contacting their friends ... and it doesn't mean the friend is being blown off. It means this friend is busy with life, and as a friend, it is your responsibility in accepting that friends aren't obligated to you.

It seems to me that the moment you decided to tell him how you feel .... you then had expectations on him performing for you accordingly.

Not every person who comes into your life is with the purpose of being exactly what you want of them to be. In fact, no person probably comes into your life with the purpose of them being exactly what you want.

The purpose of people coming into your life ... is so they can be who they are, and when they are. He has stated who he is, and that he loves another. So, it's your job to let him live, as he has a right to do, and not expect him to cater to your wishes.


That is .. if you believe in unconditional love. If you don't believe in love ... then none of this applies to you.


Have a good day 🙂

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This has been an eye opener and is comforting. It made me feel a bit..to let him live as he wants. My mind has certainly been clouded by my feelings.

Posted by FyzaGememiee
Move on.

He has it clearly shown that he's no longer interested but Gemini has this 'polite' thingy in us.

Imo, for me being a Gemini, I don't like to hurt others by saying things directly to their face which is why I will normally distant myself and secretly hoping they will understand my message.

I will still reply to their text but will comes up with excuses because I know what silent treatment can cause to the other person. You're a Libra and I know you need answers but it's gonna hurt you even deeper if you pursue him and he starts to turn nasty.

Let it go babe and find someone matured enough to commit himself in a serious relationship with you. It's hard I know, but it's even pointless to stick around with someone who's not even there. 🙂

Yeah a typical Libran..I always need answers. Part of the reason is my ex bf (An aries) left me 6 months ago citing he fell out of love. I wasn't what he expected. It shattered me. I asked for reasons..it wasn't pretty. He immediately started dating another girl.

Now..I just feel at times I really am not good enough. More of a self esteem issue. This situation with my guy friend is reminding me of the past rejection and I am scared if I had anything to do with him losing interest.

You are right though 🙂

Shout out to the other lovely people who helped. I hope I can make a clean break T_T

Thank you 🙂