How much do you make?

Question. When is it appropriate in a relationship to ask your SO their salary? Is it appropriate when you are just dating someone and gave any of you been asked how much you make by your SO and how did you respond?
I was asked this question by someone I am dating and she became upset because I didn't answer. Accusing me if not communicating and so on. I personally don't feel like it's anyone's business and a person should respect if you are not ready.

Any thoughts?

I guess that question could be asked in innocence, but it seems like a really rude question to me. That's the sort of thing that becomes known naturally as a relationship progresses. I probably would have answered evasively, just becuase I would have thought she was rude. Everyone is curious what the person they're dating is making, but to ask flat out is poor form and makes me wonder what someone is really after.

Did you tell her how uncomfortable it made you feel when she asked that?

What did she say after you told her that you were uncomfortable?


If her reaction was still bad ... then that is a red flag waving.

Yes I told her I didn't think it was appropriate as we are just dating and share no bills whatsoever. She said It was important for her to know so she wouldn't have unrealistic expectations and so on. She said I was pushing her away by not answering her question. She is a Gemini with a cancer moon and I'm a Gemini with a Pisces moon. It makes me want to be done with her.

an hour? depends, on average $ 200

lol jk that was max, i suck, wait actually my max was 300 in about 10 minutes

It should never be about money. Ever. :\

Was there a past situation in which some guy mooched off of her and she's trying to avoid it again?

Posted by inluvgem

She said It was important for her to know so she wouldn't have unrealistic expectations and so on.

All women probably want to know, even if they wont' ask the question .... because the typical female has expectations that the man is suppose to be able to afford them. The typical female will expect the guy to pay for her when dating.

So, in reality ... I suppose she was just speaking what all women dating want to ask, so that they know whether they want to eat lobster or McDonalds

i think money is important, so many marriages and relationships break down because people are living paycheck to paycheck that its just ridiculous, having money is not having the worst problem ever, id prefer to cry in Mercedes rather than hungry on a bus or a train

What is say is true P-Angel, but I am a Woman too, so maybe she should be paying for me. LOL@king of Aries and preferring to cry a mercerdes lol. Money is important I agree but is it appropriate to ask someone their salary when only dating? Shouldn't that be gradually revealed as the relationship progresses to deeper levels?

oh and considering that if a man has a problem - it becomes his girls problem as well, if i was a chick id never date someone who isnt intelligent enough to make enough money for living or who isnt smart with money etc ya know what i mean

No, no one mooched off of her in the past. She just feels it's important to know. I feel the same but I don't think it's appropriate to ask someone you are just dating. I agree with Geminimind that it should never be about the money. As long as a person manages what they have correctly that's what I feel is important. You can have money and be neck high in debt from poor decision making. Seriously you can't ask every person you date their salary.

id prefer to cry in Mercedes rather than hungry on a bus or a train

hahahahaha, I swear KOA, you are a nutcase but very true, 100% silky handkerchiefs are much better than polyester.

But let's face it, the "how much do you make?" question keeps getting asked to people time and time again; if the response is not given sooner or later, it becomes a problem and they might go to other means to find out.
- Spying
- Watching your possessions or spending habits
The fact that they ask means they have a reason to ask in their minds...

Personally, I generally laugh it off if someone asked me and tell them to mind their business, especially if it was early in any relationship.
Also, I would never ask people how much they make, ever. Even when they blurt their earnings out, I just say "how nice". It doesn't mean I don't want to know (you wanna know what kind of gifts to expect of course 😄), it just means it's one of those things I think is private.
Unless someone wants to borrow money from me, then I would definitely be interested in finding out how they intend to pay it back.

How many doctors or lawyers do you see marrying garbage collectors?


People relate, to eventually marry within their status.


Do you think others have telepathy to find this information out?



She needs to know what your status is, where your level of education is, how much you make, she needs to know about your social circle ... so she can decide if you are worth her putting effort into you. Because if you're not at her level, then she needs to know now, so she can step away if you are below her standards.



That's the way it works.

Makes sense P-Angel. However I don't appreciate the way she went about it. Kind of like screening me for an application or something. She asked way more than that but that is the only one I posted.

Posted by P-Angel
How many doctors or lawyers do you see marrying garbage collectors?
People relate, to eventually marry within their status.
Do you think others have telepathy to find this information out?
She needs to know what your status is, where your level of education is, how much you make, she needs to know about your social circle ... so she can decide if you are worth her putting effort into you. Because if you're not at her level, then she needs to know now, so she can step away if you are below her standards.
That's the way it works.

thats the first thing im agreeing with you on, its all about social circle youre in, i used to be poor, my family used to be poor, well not poor but we didnt go on vacations every summer lets say, but we migrated from europe and now im proud to say we live much better than an average american, people who seek for opportunity to get to a higher class will always find it and will always get there, lazy fuks and cancer of society will always be there though, there will always be poor people no matter how you try to help them, so might just as well ignore them, as my gemie grandma

Posted by inluvgem
Question. When is it appropriate in a relationship to ask your SO their salary? Is it appropriate when you are just dating someone and gave any of you been asked how much you make by your SO and how did you respond?
I was asked this question by someone I am dating and she became upset because I didn't answer. Accusing me if not communicating and so on. I personally don't feel like it's anyone's business and a person should respect if you are not ready.

Any thoughts?

For me being in finance, this question just rolls off of my tongue. But, I do it like an interview process and the person usually volunteers the information. So, for me it's no biggie. When I'm asked what I do for a living, people usually say things like "Oh I need somebody to help me with my finances!". Then I just go from there. But a person should never just come out and ask how much you make, that's insane.

If a person asks you that I'd want to know if they have a hidden agenda. :\ Gold diggers come in all forms. I can't see a Gemini being one, but, who knows. I was at a club and some female looked at my watch and shoes and asked me what I did for a living. I just walked away.