I actualy hate dating...kwim?

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by roamingfree on Wednesday, April 20, 2011 and has 49 replies.

Understanding Why Some People Dislike Dating

Many individuals find dating stressful or unfulfilling due to pressure or past experiences. It is common to feel this way, and recognizing your feelings can help you focus on personal growth or alternative relationship approaches. Exploring your preferences can lead to healthier connections or contentment outside traditional dating.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

HEY,..WHAT DO YOU KNOW...stupid Gem intuition and perception...I got dumped today..he wants to stay friends and I'm like: wtf? give me some time dude, you're hurting me and you want to be friends?
ugh...
so much for dating...

now will be onto sleeping or not really sleeping randomness?

ugh...i'm sooo done

Profile picture of GeminiDahl
@GeminiDahl
15 YearsGemini

Count your blessings he ended it now...he seemed too wishy washy from what you wrote about him. Now go out this weekend and have a great time!

Profile picture of GeminiDahl
@GeminiDahl
15 YearsGemini

Here's a little trick I played on myself after me and the Libra broke up and it finally helped. I just stopped thinking about him as MY guy. He just became another man I knew/know. Anytime I thought about him I would remind myself he isn't my guy any longer so I didn't need to wonder what he was doing or any of that shit. Pretty dumb I know but once I removed him from the "US" spot as a couple in my head things got easier.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

I went out last night, had jolly ol' time, drunk texted Sagg (hes' my safe drunk call/text, lol, always bails me out of silly situations)...and honestly...I'm turned off of men aside for one. wtf? I talked to a good friend of mine over fbook about this and she's like: "oh, girl, I'm so sorry for being harsh on you (about a previous conversation about him), I thought it wasn't so bad, because you usually have an unbreakable back bone like me"...damn...I need to get out of this emotional mess...😢

Profile picture of GeminiDahl
@GeminiDahl
15 YearsGemini

Posted by SunGem20
i love Libra men, they are unpredictable; makes it interesting, also very hot lovers...

The Libra I dated was a very good lover until he started drinking himself into oblivion. It was all downhill from there. But when he he was good, he was excellent.

Profile picture of GeminiDahl
@GeminiDahl
15 YearsGemini

Posted by roamingfree
I went out last night, had jolly ol' time, drunk texted Sagg (hes' my safe drunk call/text, lol, always bails me out of silly situations)...and honestly...I'm turned off of men aside for one. wtf? I talked to a good friend of mine over fbook about this and she's like: "oh, girl, I'm so sorry for being harsh on you (about a previous conversation about him), I thought it wasn't so bad, because you usually have an unbreakable back bone like me"...damn...I need to get out of this emotional mess...😢

I'm glad you went out! What do they say, it takes about 2 weeks to make something a habit. Maybe that can work in reverse? So try and get through atleast 2 weeks without any contact or communication with him at all. Hopefully after that you wont feel that tug towards him any longer. Don't give in and talk to him or it will just set you back emotionally.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by GeminiDahl

Posted by roamingfree
I went out last night, had jolly ol' time, drunk texted Sagg (hes' my safe drunk call/text, lol, always bails me out of silly situations)...and honestly...I'm turned off of men aside for one. wtf? I talked to a good friend of mine over fbook about this and she's like: "oh, girl, I'm so sorry for being harsh on you (about a previous conversation about him), I thought it wasn't so bad, because you usually have an unbreakable back bone like me"...damn...I need to get out of this emotional mess...😢

I'm glad you went out! What do they say, it takes about 2 weeks to make something a habit. Maybe that can work in reverse? So try and get through atleast 2 weeks without any contact or communication with him at all. Hopefully after that you wont feel that tug towards him any longer. Don't give in and talk to him or it will just set you back emotionally.

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I seem to be ok today.
I know I will get through this so, it's just a matter of time. It helps that I'm not an angry or vengeful person, so I do not harbor any such feelings. If it's meant to be it will be, if not than I should not waste time on dwelling. Being occupied will help me move on faster.
I'm keeping my chin up...something being a parent thought me...the harder it gets the bigger my chin gets.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

hmmm, our sex was fine. not explosive, but fine nevertheless. I spent 3 years with Scorpio and that sex was unbelievable. I met another Scorpio about 2 years ago and again fantastic! We still talk, but not in any intimate way, though.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

more intense. the two Libra's I know intimately were more hmm...about sex as poetry and climbing altitudes with a gentle rhythm, where Scorpios were more like a roller coaster dipped in water and dunked in pits of fire, lol

does that make any sense? 🙂

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

awww!!!! I wanna see what you said....waaaaaaa....
Cancers do lie, cheat, whine, guilt trip you and the mood swings...damn, no sex is worth that fiasco!
Scorpios...well, I like lol
Pisces...suffocate me. Period.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by SunGem20
So if we dont date, how are we ever gonna get a man?

I think we should just sleep with them and than when we are done, kindly point them to the door, or...leave on our own accord immediately, before we get into some sort of "hen" syndrome. I had a very good conversation about this last summer with one of my long time best friends, she's 42, fabulously competitive, extremely successful, hot and smart...and we had one of those long, late into the night (or rather morning) conversations over a couple bottles of wine, where we both decided, that no matter where a woman's life stands, as soon as there is some guy with the right pheromones we immediately turn our "domestic hen" hormones on and become dependasourus's...something just triggers our primal gears and we are toast...we should just date like guys do.
It worked for me for a while...until Mr. Libra decided to stroll into my life.

Bottom line...don't date...just sleep with them...the right one will stick around. I honestly doubt men date for the sake of dating, they date because we want that. They don't care to go on endless dates.

Excuse me if I sound biased today.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by SunGem20
Its quite alright, cus this stupid ass Sag disappered on me now, after three weeks of bliss..Saw him friday nite, we went to dinner, came back my place watched a movie...the next morning he said there was a flood at the building he worked at. Said he would be back later..texted me twice...the last I heard from him was 2:30 Saturday afternoon. This man went from texting me all day at work, for the past three weeks, to falling off the fucking earth. I hate talking about this shit on here and I never tell to much of my personal business. You become a target for all the idiots that wanna take a pot shot...certainly wouldnt make a thread about it. Just the same feeling blue too sista..😢

I have two of those...they would text me, lets do this, that and everything...things would be ok...but I learned ages ago...to let go of that...it's a Sag thing, I think.
meh...let someone else worry about him.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by LibraLuv

Posted by SunGem20
I like hangin with the girls too but I want a man....

I certainly understand that. For me, I'm working on other things right now, so it helps some that I'm preoccupied and it's about to pick up even heavier for me real soon, so I won't even have time to be on here. Today was a good day for me as far as free time though. I even had time to watch some t.v.

But, I certainly have not given up on hope. I will remain open to love the person that is for me. I won't ever give up on that. I am not purposely going out and looking, but I don't close my eyes either. When I cross paths with that person, I'll know and I believe he'll know. That's how I see things. So I'm not putting pressure on myself and dating. I'm cautious when it comes to men and patient enough to wait on the right one. Let's just hope I won't be 70 or 80 years old. That would be fucked up....lol...I would find a cane and beat him with it for taking so damn long. hahaha

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i did that...I was happy, fully really satisfied with being alone. I remember walking down the street in the fall and thinking to myself: "I'm actually really happy alone. I have everything I need, and if it means that I am alone for the rest of my life, I will be ok too." I have actually fully, consciously accepted being alone and actually happy and very content with it. I was actually really happy...and than that Libra comes along... ugh...I was so against it all, I was soooo not into being with anyone. I was happy alone...
I'm feeling really crappy right now. 😢

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

the crappy thing is, that I'm sitting here and thinking about him, and I doubt he puts a thought into me...in the end it's him that called The End...I doubt they actually care after that...I rather am prone to think that it's like pulling a splinter, out and done.

men...do we really want them?

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

good night...I hope you find the leverage soon.

I stayed home, on the couch, had chocolates, nap, tea, bath, played with the dog, fed him a burger and turned the phone off. Talked to a friend stationed in Afghanistan and even closed my curtains on the world today...meh...tomorrow is another day. I'm off to bed, too, now.

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

oh, just a few months...but you know...that communication gets in your head and that Lib/Gem combo with all our other planets so crazily in sync can count for ages 😢...I hate when things are effortless...

It was long enough to forget about the world outside 😢

It's going to take some time to get back on that horse of mine again...will probably feel like spinning my wheels for a time...I wish I had some hatorade to pour right now...damn.
Oh, well, that too shall pass...

Profile picture of bootnb
@bootnb
15 Years

yeaa, agree!!
even though i hv a crush on a libra rite now, and of course, i did hv a thought about being in a relationship w/ him .__.~
but not too long ago, ive made up mah mind, i think im scared of being in a relationship! a lot of things needa be planned /:
i dunt kno, (: maybe cause of da last relationship w/ an aries >_>!! its fair to say that i do want to date a guy (: but its also a HUGE problem to me, i mean, i always change mah mind, i dunt even kno wat i really want n' wat i really like or love. T__T
Dating is AMAZIN', no doubt abt it!!
but, in mah opinion, its still a MYSTERY 😕 *I SUPER DUPER HATE MYSTERY*
hmmm...im still a teenager/ 16 yrs old ^_^~
p.S: IM GEMINI MAHSELF / JUNE 18TH *currently goin' crazy of a libra guy in class* /:

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

awww....don't try to figure out what you want with men yet...only advice I can give you is...if it feels good - go with it, but make sure it DOES feel good...you have lots of time...just have fun...🙂

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by everevolvingepithet
"Bottom line...don't date...just sleep with them...the right one will stick around. I honestly doubt men date for the sake of dating, they date because we want that. They don't care to go on endless dates. "
Real talk.
I wish more women would just fuck, because we don't want to have to take you out all the time or resort to some weird swingers shit with a husband wanking in the corner or similar.
🙂
Hope this cheers you up as it's not meant nastily.

like I said - that's how it is. Now, I think that the whole dating charade is played only because women have more of a need to strut their stuff, where men put their peacock feathers in the back of the closet after the first lay...
is that not true?

...and no, I didn't take it nastily.

Profile picture of GemsRaGalsBestPal
@GemsRaGalsBestPal
16 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by SunGem20
Whats your time frame ? do u do fine dining?

3 dates and laid sound about right ?
No, I don't care for fine dining at all tbh.
🙂

You make it to the third date? Sheet... I'm already blowing him in the doorway once he shows up 45 minutes late to our first date.

Do you wear Kappa apparel ?

click to expand

Ummn, SHEET NO! I wear cowboy boots, big hair........ AND a smile. 😄

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by roamingfree
never had that issue with either one...
I think we should take him apart, one layer after another, after another, after another...like the onion boy - Shrek 😉

Try me ! 🙂

click to expand

not today...I'm in the "boys are made of stinky socks and snakes" mood today.

I think I need a healthy dose of realism to move on from my Libra fiasco...I'm still hung up and I don't care to dwell on it for more than I already have. Stupid Venus in Cancer is suffocating me...I wonder what his Scorpio is doing to him today? :/

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by SunGem20
Whats your time frame ? do u do fine dining?

3 dates and laid sound about right ?
No, I don't care for fine dining at all tbh.
🙂

You make it to the third date? Sheet... I'm already blowing him in the doorway once he shows up 45 minutes late to our first date.

Do you wear Kappa apparel ?

Ummn, SHEET NO! I wear cowboy boots, big hair........ AND a smile. 😄

click to expand

that's pretty much any girl needs...I opt for the same 🙂

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by THEKingofLibra
Shit short changing? You won't see me wining and dining you. If I do it would be most efficient use of resources, i.e few bottles of wine and home cooked meal, none of that going out to an expensive restaurant to overpay 300% for half a meal and odd conversations, weird people and smells and curtsies and other stupid shit that drive me bonkers.

what if she doesn't put out on date #1??

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by THEKingofLibra

Posted by roamingfree
I wonder what his Scorpio is doing to him today? :/

He is probably banging a Pisces or a Cancer.

click to expand

thanks for reminding me...he's divorcing Pisces older than him now... ugh...men are made of stinky socks and snakes...but I would not be surprised, all men move on instantly as soon as the next occasion arises and is willing. I have to be realistinc, can't see him really hang out and not look at all the options around right now... ;/

Profile picture of Sickleesweet
@Sickleesweet
17 YearsGemini

This is the reason why all of my relationships have been casual for so long, but notice that the only men giving input are libras! 😄 You libra men DO make the best booty call. I promise there are those that will want a relationship with you too. When I find one worth the time and effort put into it then I'll be more than open to having a real relationship. I'm just not entirely convinced yet.