Is it salvageable?

Hello Gemini Board,

I'd like your thoughts on my situation. i'm a late 20s taurus female (gemini cusp) and I'd been dating a gemini in his early 30s for 3 months. We have very different backgrounds, but got on well and took things slow. I really grew to like him and all of quirks. We "did it"-- my first time in years and it was painful, so we stopped. He was traveling during the next week for work, and reached out intermittently, but I thrown off and hurt by his lack of attention. We he did call, I spazzed on him and told him we weren't compatible. I was also super stressed with work and family. I apologized a few days later and he's traveling again, but acknowledged his communication problems and said he was willing to work on things. He never reached out. I text him and he was away AGAIN. He said he was "scared" but that we should et together the next week when he was back in town. I told him no thank you and that he was rude for ignoring my longass heartfelt messages. Anyway, 2 weeks have passed. I miss him. It was great when we were together. I kind of like that he travels so much for work because it allows me to focus on myself. Just hate the quasi communication. Should I just let it go and move on, or should i try again?

thanks in advance🙂

It sounds like you might have been acting like an emotional yoyo.

i was. what can i do now?

i was. what can i do now?

i was. what can i do now?

oops,lol

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
It sounds like you might have been acting like an emotional yoyo.

Lol, btw just hit post one time it looks like it doesn't go thru but it does then go out the page and reload. I used to do that as well takes a bit of learning. Plus DXp likes to fuck with you sometimes. -.-

I don't think there's much you can do at this point. You told him more than once in so many words that you didn't want to be with him, so you're playing Linus with him by pulling the ball out from under him and confusing him.

No man, regardless of sign, cares for a lady to act so emotional that they pitch a fit whenever they don't get their way or don't hear from someone in a time period you feel is acceptable.

Find a good boy and be patient with him. 🙂

thank you

Posted by houstonpeach74
I don't think there's much you can do at this point. You told him more than once in so many words that you didn't want to be with him, so you're playing Linus with him by pulling the ball out from under him and confusing him.


🙂

Of course it appears to be ok for a Gemini Guy to say he wants to be with a chick and then pull the rug out from under HER. That's just fine.
They are both Geminis - I find it strange that they would have a problem with this behavior. Maybe they realise it is not so nice to be on the receiving end of bullshit behavior—


And not sign related - what exactly is an acceptable time frame for a guy to go without contacting someone he said he would "keep in touch with?"

Thanks, ReallyNiceAries. That was my issue. I could have been more patient when I sensed he was pulling back, but i am impatient and impulsive (was actually diagnosed with adhd last year-- he knows this, too). So patience something i'd have to and will work on, but it doesn't excuse his "bullbutter behavior."

He was sweet, attentive, and patient with me prior to my spazz out. I'm impatient and he's uncommunicative. We're both aware of what we need to work on, and I'd actually like to work on it in regards to my relationship with him. I don't really want to find someone else, as houstonpeach suggested.

Okkk, what is your idea of proper contact and timeframes for it and what are his?

an uncommunicative Gem huh?


Guys don't get scared. What is he scared of?
I am with houston. Get your Taurus on and find a guy with a pair, who doesn't get "scared".

And try to be nice. Yes I know that works both ways.
He could have sent you a message saying he was tres busy but thinking of you. Only takes a minute. No excuse for that.

GemsRaGalsBestPal, In the beginning, he asked what my expectations were we as far as contact and I said I like to hear from whoever I'm dating daily. He hates talking on the phone and prefers texting, but he called daily regardless. Sometimes more.

ReallyNiceAriesPerson, I thought the "I'm scared thing" was weird, too. Why would he even say that?

And when the shift happened, how often were you hearing from him?

GemsRaGalsBestPal, he hasn't called post-spazz. He mostly replies to my texts.

I'm more referring to pre spaz.... how often were you hearing or not hearing from him to create the spaz out?

Oh, we "did it" sunday and he called that night. He went way Monday, called from the airport. I think he replied to an email abt weekend plans tues, and I was annoyed that he was lax abt making them. He shot me a how r u text thurs night, and I'd had a really rough day so I was attitudinal. He called. I was short. We spoke friday, and that's when I spazzed.

You.Totally.OVER.Reacted.

Aaaaaand I'm guessing it has way more to do with your insecurity over the sex than anything else.

i see this in retrospect. it was the first time in 2 yrs. i was all kinds of thrown off by my emotions that week. i explained this to him in my apology email. He was OT and responded that he knows he has a major communication flaw, and said let's get together when he's back the following week. He never reached out.

Posted by okkk
i see this in retrospect. it was the first time in 2 yrs. i was all kinds of thrown off by my emotions that week. i explained this to him in my apology email. He was OT and responded that he knows he has a major communication flaw, and said let's get together when he's back the following week. He never reached out.

I think he was giving you lip service and try to avoid another outburst from you. If he hasn't reached out since then, I say truck along and move on from this dude.

thank you, houston🙂

Posted by houstonpeach74

Posted by okkk
i see this in retrospect. it was the first time in 2 yrs. i was all kinds of thrown off by my emotions that week. i explained this to him in my apology email. He was OT and responded that he knows he has a major communication flaw, and said let's get together when he's back the following week. He never reached out.

I think he was giving you lip service and try to avoid another outburst from you. If he hasn't reached out since then, I say truck along and move on from this dude.

click to expand

Well, his last offer to get together, was in response to me saying, if he wanted to stop seeing me, he should have said so. he said he hadn't responded bc he was sick and asleep. i replied that he was selfish and rude, and no thank you to getting together.

Then no wonder he hasn't reached out to you.

Lol, I know why he hasn't since i said that. I'm asking you all if and how i should reach back out to him, since i would actually like to see him again.

Nah, your emotions are a loose cannon. You can try, but I think you've set the precedent with him as to what to expect around you. 😢

this makes sense. but i also feel like he was purposely trying to be a jerk, and that's what i was reacting to. i expressed that i was hurt and never even apologized. i know i've got work to do, but clearly i like something about the guy and was hoping there was a chance. dah well :/ thanks all.

There may still be a chance, but you've got to get your shit in order. As a Gem, I'm very forgiving of people as long as they want it. In relationships, I typically can let a lot slide....

If I were you I'd go for something SUPER low key. No long dramatic apology email, no sobbing phone call, just a simple text that says something like.... "Hey you. I miss you. Lunch? This week?"

Then you go to lunch, you act normal, and if you apologize don't drag it out. Your only goal from here on out is to act normal and sane.

If you still have feelings for the dude, I'd say poke around to try to see if he still wants to dance the dance with you... you've really nothing to lose.

Thanks, GemsRaGalsBestPal. I do actually have a lot of butter to focus on, and will work on marking some things off that list before reaching out. At least I won't be projecting frustration from something else onto him if we to get another shot. I appreciate your feedback🙂 Gnite folks