Bartender, relationship on rocks please!

My Scorpion fiance and I have hit rough waters relationship wise. We can't seem to figure things out.. and when we have a game plan, ut never follows through long term.

Neither one of us have committed a 'serious' relationship felony (ie, developing feelings for others, cheating, etc etc) but our fighting has been horrible!!! Its like 10 minutes cant go by without a sneer or growl. Leos.. I must say - the moment we fought in public, in front of a friend, was the moment I realized that we had traveled too far.

We both work so much and when we're not working.. we're at school. We don't have the time or piece of mind to just relax together too.

I'm not looking for specific answers to my situation - but what would be your GENERAL long term relationship advice for Lions and Lionesses to hold true?

the answer is simple and can be universally applied in this situation. you are both too young for full on commitment. you have places to go, people to see and careers to embark on....you will not come out the other side of that journey the same people.

i was 22 when i met my husband and we stayed together for over 20 years. we both became different people in the early years but we kind of fought the differences on the basis that we were committed to eachother. then kids came along and the compromising started. worse was the sense of being trapped in something that had become very toxic.

back in the day when the lifespan of a human was not much more than 35, it was natural to form long term relationships from a very young age. women and men had very straightforward roles in society and everyone knew what was expected of them.

times have changed and people are delaying having children in favour of pursuing careers....women included....and consequently our 'roles' have become obscured resulting in women bearing absolutely no resemblance to previous generations of women who accepted from birth that their place in society was in a supporting role to their man.

surely you feel the pressure of trying to further yourselves with your careers on your relationship. something has to give and at your age, it has to be the relationship. even if just a break while you both pull yourselves up the ladder a little further.

once there's a seed or resentment, it grows like a weed imo.

Aww Huntress, I am sorry to hear that. I wish I some had advice for you but I don't. I am ending it with the Cap so I do not trust myself to say anything without allowing my personal feeling to come into play.

Whatever you decide, just take your time. We are a rather impulsive bunch.

Hugs and Kisses or a shot of rum whatever you need Babygirl.

I'm reading and absorbing this information and different words of wisdom to process later on tonight. I don't want to focus on responses and draw myself away from the situation at hand and thereby rejecting the advice and questions to ask myself that I have been given from you all. I feel blessed for everyone here, through and through. I do feel guilty with not giving the birthday wishes that everyone deserves, admittedly. Lately I have felt like I've been juggling my education, career, relationship, and family life while my health has become my 20th priority. Socially.. nonexistent


To respond to RTN:
He's never smoked weed, not once. He doesn't like smoke.
I may type quite a bit via DXP, however I will be the first to admit that I'm surprisingly quite quiet and 'speak' more through actions and physical movement. Maybe your sentence should have said 'don't think so much'. I've been told that probably 4 times in the last week.
He loves my spicy chicken bacon open faced melt with provolone 😉

Seraph:
Our relationship started showing signs of this... hm, a bit before October. I can remember a trigger, but its not something I'm going to post publicly.

And to your second question... I'm ever changing. I believe he is too but he is weak in his habits. Him and I are both Virgos in Venus and can connect on that level. But where I'm good with following through.. it seems like he forgets or will allow some wiggle room claiming that its a one time thing or whatever... then it turns into something more frequent.. then its like nothing ever happened.

He was once a different person and has changed into.. this..

Like Rig I was in a relationship for 20 years from a young age, people change - A LOT. I really do believe that we shouldn't be in relationships from the early years and its better to develop yourself in your 20's travelling, learning, growing. I've only become the real me in the last 10 years, really only beginning to become me when I reached 30, and if the real me knew then what I know now there is no way I would have stayed in a relationship with my husband nor anyone else for very long term. I have only one regret in life and that is that I wasted 20 years with him and I can't forgive myself for that wasted life, though I try - and it irks me no end when people say "you have your children". I'd have had them anyway, they were meant for me.

Hm. It would seem that I'm one of the younger members of this board.

While I do agree that during times of youth, one should travel, expand their horizons take in information and discover themselves before entering a relationship. However, that is only unnecessary precaution. My idiot father, who's already well into his late 50s, still has the mindset of a 15 year old boy (and I promise you he is very well traveled and met his share of women). He can't for the life of him make up his mind about what he wants in a women. Or anything else for that matter. My mother was his high school sweetheart and they were married for over 20 years (she 19, he 23). When she died of cancer at the age of 42, my father went celibate for about a decade and started meeting new women, all resembling my mother in either physical appearance or personality (or both). He couldn't explain is type, but I knew his type was my mother. Now currently single and depressed, he stopped looking all together.

Moral of the story- age + experience= maturity (sometimes)

Going with the flow makes things so much easier for everyone. Sometimes your first boyfriend/husband won't work out, but don't see that as a waste of time. You were in love and it felt good, didn't it? Life in general is ever-changing, it's inevitable and unpredictable. So why worry about it if you know it might happen at some point, and you won't be able stop it? My dad got it the first time, I didn't. Not everyone is that lucky.

Posted by seraph

Posted by appropriate
Hm. It would seem that I'm one of the younger members of this board.

While I do agree that during times of youth, one should travel, expand their horizons take in information and discover themselves before entering a relationship. However, that is only unnecessary precaution. My idiot father, who's already well into his late 50s, still has the mindset of a 15 year old boy (and I promise you he is very well traveled and met his share of women). He can't for the life of him make up his mind about what he wants in a women. Or anything else for that matter. My mother was his high school sweetheart and they were married for over 20 years (she 19, he 23). When she died of cancer at the age of 42, my father went celibate for about a decade and started meeting new women, all resembling my mother in either physical appearance or personality (or both). He couldn't explain is type, but I knew his type was my mother. Now currently single and depressed, he stopped looking all together.

Moral of the story- age + experience= maturity (sometimes)

Going with the flow makes things so much easier for everyone. Sometimes your first boyfriend/husband won't work out, but don't see that as a waste of time. You were in love and it felt good, didn't it? Life in general is ever-changing, it's inevitable and unpredictable. So why worry about it if you know it might happen at some point, and you won't be able stop it? My dad got it the first time, I didn't. Not everyone is that lucky.

Based on your story, it would appear your father is anything *but* an idiot.

click to expand

I'd show him your comment, but I'm not that nice. But jokes aside, try living with him. Drives me and my bro nuts everyday.

Maybe he thinks acting like his 23 year old self will someday attract another 19 year old version of his wife..