Why are men so slow?

The Leo and Libra I was trolling have both gone silent. After exchanging the eharmony questions/likes/must-have's etc ritual, we made it to personal email. The leo wrote 5 days ago. The libra 4 days ago. I replied to both, and thus no reply back. I like the libra best cus he's a schmexy mudder focker.

Why do men take so long to reply? Typically, prior to this, they each always took two days to respond. Like the naked taurus, he also took 2 days. Is this written somewhere in the man code book?

What do I do next....besides nothing? 🙂

You could post a thread called 'Why are men so slow', or you could just face the fact that they are not that into you.

You also have to consider the fact that there is someone already in the picture. There is always someone "hangin around" lol.

Posted by ellessque
i think this "he's not that into you" crap is just that, crap.

i don't show interest in someone if i'm not into them.

What kind of interest was shown, really?

I have no records of her history with these two guys, all I know is they "met" online and have been corresponding via e-mails and such. Am I right this far?

Posted by ellessque
meanie meanie chicken weinie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you are but what am I :p

I guess they could be incredibly busy but then why are they on a dating site then

Personally I'd go next just because simply it doesnt take long for someone to write a simple email that they are incredibly busy but will email you in a few days with more information and that they are interested in getting to know you and possibly meeting you

The problem today is that a lot of people have forgotten there manners and don't take any personel responsibility anymore.. It's just rude imo.

Posted by ellessque

Posted by beautifulsoul74
You also have to consider the fact that there is someone already in the picture. There is always someone "hangin around" lol.

hey!

I didn't see you there.

Yeah, you're right....if he has a shit ton of sag in his chart. You guys always have someone waiting on the sidelines "just in case". 😛

click to expand

Ellesque are you picking a fight with me lol. We Saggies do not operate like that...at least the evolved ones don't lol

It's not rude if they're not taking it as seriousely as she is! It's just internet after all. I mean she's playing with two guys at the same time herself.... who's she to make courtesy demands?

I've been there myself and I've never thought of it as 'leaving them hanging'. What obligations do I have towards someone I've never even met? And I've been in her shoes as well... didn't take it personally either, it's something that happens to guys all the time. Women loose interest or they're simply too busy talking to 100 other guys and they don't even care to write a simple 'bye bye baby' .... but I guess being raised a woman one expects special treatment.

Posted by ellessque
you have no record of history but yet you can jump straight to "he's not that into you".

boys are so simple 😄

Pardon my language but it's her fucking responsibility to inform us about what's happening if she expects any serious response. Either that or the two of you can just take it via PM.

Boy enfant is living up to his name, isnt he? lol

As I said in the original post, we did all the EH guided communication, which is approx 4-5 back and forth questions/messaging each. So obviously there was mutual interest.

Calling it "playing" is ridiculous. It's called "communicating" with nice people, you toad.

btw, Jynga, leo - lawyer and libra - executive with a utility company. And yea, they probably are communicating with other potentials, like I am. My question was simply "what are men slow"? My experience is they communicate on a different time table than women. I guess men are just defective women. 😛

@Jynja: Exactly where are those 'real emotions' invested when you're talking to two guys at the same time? I guess they both must have felt they weren't "the only one". lol

Posted by WoundedLeo
1) Men can not multi-task. Females are clearly superior in that regard.

2) Look at enfant's (seraph agreed) response. This shows you how real men think. In a nutshell, they all a bunch of A-holes

Oh really—? And how many times have you talked to guys online just to drop them without a clue? Don't bullshit me now. Women are worse than men when it comes to courtesy calls because you all know you can just pick and choose between us, especially online! I think Big Panties is a perfect example, she's chatting up two guys and expects they should both be invested in her when she's only half-invested in them? Didn't she call it "communicating with nice people", well if that's all there is then I don't know why she's so heartbroken over this. When they feel like it they will respond, why should it be on her terms? There are no obligations here, are there?

Anyway, that's usually how guys are treated online. So who are the real assholes? 🙂

It's funny that none of you ladies have bothered to comment on her "communicating" with two guys at the same time and expecting to be treated like a princess in return. I mean if she was a guy she'd definitely be the asshole of this drama. 😉

Tell me again how this shady area of the society is 'male dominated'? Plzzz.....

Posted by ellessque
why put all eggs in one basket? that's silly. especially when it's so easy for you men to pull the "I'm not that into you" card.

Oh I'm sorry I thought it was the other way around... given that women can pick and choose anyway they want to. Since when is that a male privilege? Wow things seem to have changed a lot since I was on the dating scene.

Posted by ellessque
But if you are just dating.....then what's wrong with dating or talking to more than one man or woman at at time?

You are getting to know someone. You aren't prearranging a marriage!

Let's not get our definitions screwed up here. Getting to know a person is one thing, dating a person is something else. So which one is it?

I lolz at the energy this thread is producing. 🙂

I cannot imagine any normal person NOT speaking to more than one person at a time on a dating site. It's like trying on shoes, isn't it? Gotta see which one(s) fit. Each of these nice gentleman made an effort to write out questions and share a good amount of who they are, so it's not just a "Hi, you're cute" like communication. It very well could be they've met another foxy mama and are digging on her. Even still, a note of courtesey would be appreciated.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
I lolz at the energy this thread is producing. 🙂

I cannot imagine any normal person NOT speaking to more than one person at a time on a dating site. It's like trying on shoes, isn't it? Gotta see which one(s) fit.

Trying on shoes is actually a perfect metaphor, which is why I can't take any of it seriousely. What would courtesy in this context be anyway? "It's not you, it's me"?? LOL I think I'd rather have you just disappear on me.

Look, I don't know.... since when is Internet a place for courtesy. It surely hasn't been a courteous experience to me. I've stopped online dating long time ago because women were basically being assholes. They could afford it too because they would have all these guys after them, me being just one of them. Even when I got into long e-mails I'd always get surprised when they got back to me, I'd be like "What, you're still around?" And actually every one of them got away without paying me that last courtesy call, so there you have it, you righteous ladies of the Internet.. 😉

IRL is the shit! That's instant courtesy face to face. You better behave!! And being the nice kitty, I always do.

So don't get me wrong, I'm all about courtesy. It's such a rare trait these days, especially in women (don't hate!) because as I said, you can afford to be assholes! Men are raised to be desperate, women are raised to know they can have variety. Just the other day I heard two of my female work-colleagues boast about how they shut their patners up by telling them they are "indispensable", as in they can be exchanged for someone better. How often do you hear a man say that about a woman?

Posted by ellessque
but I just like seeing you do this..........

Pfft, Scorpios..... always trying to get your opponents all cat-faced 😛

Posted by seraph
By the way, BGP . . . I liked the chocolate guy. What were the other guy's responses like?

The chocolate guy is the libra. Yes, very charming I thought.

The Leo is very articulate as well. He complimented my profile which is always a plus cus it means it was actually read. 🙂
He asked good questions which is a nice sign of interest, at least in keeping the conversation going. He shared the highlights of his past relationship statuses, his career etc. I returned that email with my own summary and that's where it was left 5 days ago. It could be he didn't like something of what I shared, which was a brief historical recount. Nothing negative. I am always my sunny, positive leo self, ya know 😉

I would like some advice on whether I should send an email to wrap things up? I always like to give a benefit of the doubt in case of email failure etc. Something along the lines of "Hope you received my email reply, if you're not feeling me, I wish you all the best".

What'cha all think?

Posted by ellessque
you are kidding, right?

men may not say it out loud to their SO but I've heard them say that stupid shit amongst their friends *i have more male friends than female friends*

When men say it they just say it for show and you know it.. 😉 As you yourself put it: women choose their partners, not men. So a woman going all "you're exchangeable" on their partner would be like me trying to beat up a woman to prove something. lol

Posted by ellessque

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by ellessque

Posted by beautifulsoul74
You also have to consider the fact that there is someone already in the picture. There is always someone "hangin around" lol.

hey!

I didn't see you there.

Yeah, you're right....if he has a shit ton of sag in his chart. You guys always have someone waiting on the sidelines "just in case". 😛

Ellesque are you picking a fight with me lol. We Saggies do not operate like that...at least the evolved ones don't lol

*guilty*

it seems to be the only way to get your attention 😛

click to expand

Hello would do the trick 😉

Posted by ellessque
I don't think there is any harm in this....

"Hope you received my email reply, if you're not feeling me, I wish you all the best".

It would help Enfant sleep at night if you were to suddenly start emailing other men of interest. 😛

LOLZ...well if it will help the little baby....

@BigGirlPanties: Ouch that's right... there's a Leo involved here. Wow I remember back in the days when I used to hang out on dating communities. You think you're getting intimate with a girl, you open up because she makes you feel special.... just a little bit more special than all the others. But suddenly you realize she's treating everyone else the same. And that's hard to take. So naturally those type of conversations die out once I refuse to invest any more of my personal self in our communication. The conversations get more strained and in the end she doesen't even care to respond. So who's fault is it?

Posted by ellessque
why do you think i have more male friends than female friends?

Actually I was just gonna ask you the same thing, why do you think I have more female friends than male? 😉

Since I like the sexy libra best, and he charmed me with chocolate, maybe I could say:

"Hope you received my reply, if you're not feeling the desire to dip me in a vat of Hershey's finest and lick your way to the golden ticket, then I wish you all the best."

whadda think?

Actually I don't have any real male friends,, I just listen to their bullshit in the locker room. It's enough for me to retreat from men for a lifetime. lol

Lolz @ Elle...so scorpio of you...of course you;d love it!

Jynga...since he is a libra, I could ask him if he's hurt himself from running back and forth on the balancing scale. I will probably send something along the lines of what Elle originally suggested.

Posted by ellessque
fault?
....it's your position as a man to make sure she knows how deep your interest is.

Really Elle, how is she gonna know that with all the shit the other guys are feeding her? What can I possibly say to a stranger who's never met me to convince her of anything? Most of the time when a guy is honest and acts on his feelings, women tend to shut down or run! You're a Scorpio ,you should know that.

The problem is that I was being open with her as a response to how she treated me, which I thought was because she felt we had something. Isn't opening up a way of showing "how deep my interest is"? Then I realize she's that way with everyone and suddenly there is nothing special between us. My whole idea of her was based on that she gave me what I thought was special treatment. So naturally I feel stupid for opening up in the first place.

If I mean a little more to you than the others then give me a hint and I'll take it from there. But that much she hasn't given me. As far as I know, I was just one of the many guys. And sorry but I will not compete for a woman's heart or attention.... For me to compete over a woman I'd have to know and love her inside out (which is impossible online, and even with 'real people' most of the time) and even then the circumstances would have to be pretty darn forgiving because I don't see why I should fight for someone who can't decide for me over the other guy. But that's just crazy Leo pride.

Seraph, you do know that the above chocolate reference was just a *joke*, right?

Nothing wrong with doing a temperature check to see if the guy(s) are still interested. If not, I got's to be moving on. 😉

@biggirlpanties, just go for the libra already. leos have no time for litte games of spin-the-bottle.

I sent the leo a personal email. The libra had not yet sent me his personal email, so I tried to message him on EH. No can do. When it's his *turn* to reply, the system doesn't allow me another email to send out. So restrictive it seems. Oh well, he may not be fancying my chocolate pate'. 😢

well...I just figured out how to send the libra another message on EH...BUT....also just saw on his profile he is a smoker. 😢

ewwww.....I must've missed that. I don't want to kiss his asssssshtray.

Posted by ellessque

Posted by enfant_terrible
Really Elle, how is she gonna know that with all the shit the other guys are feeding her? What can I possibly say to a stranger who's never met me to convince her of anything? Most of the time when a guy is honest and acts on his feelings, women tend to shut down or run! You're a Scorpio ,you should know that.

The problem is that I was being open with her as a response to how she treated me, which I thought was because she felt we had something. Isn't opening up a way of showing "how deep my interest is"? Then I realize she's that way with everyone and suddenly there is nothing special between us. My whole idea of her was based on that she gave me what I thought was special treatment. So naturally I feel stupid for opening up in the first place.

If I mean a little more to you than the others then give me a hint and I'll take it from there. But that much she hasn't given me. As far as I know, I was just one of the many guys. And sorry but I will not compete for a woman's heart or attention.... For me to compete over a woman I'd have to know and love her inside out (which is impossible online, and even with 'real people' most of the time) and even then the circumstances would have to be pretty darn forgiving because I don't see why I should fight for someone who can't decide for me over the other guy. But that's just crazy Leo pride.

go big or go home.

there is a possibility you are going to hurt either way. what is there to lose? your odds go up if you go all in.

who gives a rats ass what the "other" guys are feeding her? You bring your A game, that is all that matters.

if I sat around and moped because half of this planets women are more attractive than me (women base alot of competition with other women on looks...stupid, I know...just using it as an example)...I would be forever dateless because someone has better hair, bigger boobs a tighter ass and prettier lips.

all that is hogwash insecurities with zero "reality" tagged to them.

If a man acts on his feelings and a woman runs.....then that tells you right there, at that moment, she's not worthy of your presence or she's simply not interested.

click to expand

Completely agree Ellesque!

Yeah venus cancer and scorp moon...ugh!

*sigh*

Elle, I've been here all day now. My word-supply is running low and my mind is going. For what it's worth I agree with your last post, but I also sense from your response that we're not talking about the same thing.

and scorpy women don't have what WE have...RAWR!!

Ok here is an interesting side note. Another guy who I'm not so into (sign unknown) went silent too last week. We exchanged the same set of questions/guided communication as the others. I last sent him my "must-haves/can't stands" lists and then poof! Silence. Whereas, prior to, he replied same day. So I just though there was something he found objectionable in the lists. After all, thats what they are there for. BTW, some of the items on the lists are:

Can't stand:
Liars
addicts
manipulators
racists

Must have:
a job
tolerance
kindness
good hygiene

you get the gist. So, I just thought perhaps he didn't have good hygiene or somthing 🙂 Anyhoo, I messaged him yesterday to close him out and said "Guess we aren't a match after all, wish you the best!". Did it just to close him out cus I wasn't feel much spark with him. So he reads it yesterday, and messages me today saying "Hi, how are you? Hope you are well. I wouldn't say we aren't a match, you never know till you meet someone. Hope to hear back from you". So...who knows why men go silent. It will be the great unknown mystery of all time. 😛

Aw honey, but we are all liars and manipulators one way or the other. It's human nature. If we're not both we're at least one of those, and that pretty much covers it all either way. 🙂

It's called self-preservation.

From other liars and manipulators.

If we do, Elle, we will put eHarmony outta business. :/

Let's keep the lying going

Like an honest but manipulative Scorp lady once told me, "we all have dark secrets".

And you can bet she wasn't telling hers. 😉

Scorpio....underneath...? I'll believe it when I see it! 😛

hmmmmm.....there's a frenzy of activity amongst the lions. was it feeding time? didn't have the arse to read it all. i hate dating sites...i hate getting to know anyone without seeing the whites of their eyes.

people of both genders generally lack courtesy when they don't know someone very well although i imagine that with dating sites, cos you've put yourself out there as being interested in a relationship and you've kinda advertised yourself as being single it must piss you off a little if someone shows interest and then just stops for no apparent reason..i can understand how your ego would be wounded by it at least.

one of my only forays into internet dating led me to 'meet' a leo i bloody well worked with!! he hadn't answered my email and i was immediately very pissed off by it so i sent a stroppy email to him all WTF and whathaveyou, lol. got to work that day and he came on the dating site's chat facility. said the reason he hadn't responded was cos we work together, lol...then told me to look up and there he was waving from the other side of the office.

mortified or what!!!

it's not for me really. i can make a twat of myself all day long in real life...don't need to broadcast it on t'internet.

BGP: i think i'm late with this advice anyway but i would ignore them both. que sera, sera. don't sweat the small stuff. everything happens for a reason and +1000 more cliches.

I recall several months ago whilst on a different site, a leo contacts me. Very articulate and smart as hell. I like smartie pants. 🙂

So he we exchange few emails, then asks to call next day. He doesnt. Apologized, said family issue, will call next day. Doesnt. So next day I email saying if he's changed his mind, its cool, but his lack of courtey in blowing me off TWICE was impolite and lacked class. He replied with an apology and said he had met someone a week before and they were "really into each other" and he didnt think it right to date others. He had told me previous he had just gotten on to the site, so how he was so into a woman so soon was fucked up, imo.

So....one month later he emails. Seems it didnt work out after all (insert laugh and pointed finger) and wondered if I still want to speak to him. At first, I gave it to him but good, but he came back with a sincere apology and was quite earnest. I did meet him for a drink, but turned out he was very boring, dressed like a little boy and had no sparking energy. Hard to believe he was a leo. He wore black comfort sneakers. Blech!

Update:
Libra man has replied to the message. 🙂

Except....>>I cannot F*@@king read it 😢

The damn eharmony inbox is jacked up and won't show the message. I got an email saying he replied and to hurry my ass onto their god for f*@@king site only to see it's jacked up. I will call eH tomorrow. This is a lesson in patience.

Leo lawyer did read my email (tracking service confirmed) but not replied. This is an interesting experiment.

Sure sure, he can stew 🙂 I believe he is traveling anyhow, so it's no prob. In fact if he doesnt reply then I will have my answer, right?

That's the benefit of the leo sun, it can melt the coldness of the scorpio moon sometimes. Note...*sometimes* 😉

Personally I don't find men slow at all except for one and really, he just wasn't that into me, for the short time he was, he was fast. Even the stereotypical Virgo/Taurus men haven't been slow, they might walk and talk slowly but nothing else 😉, when a man wants to meet you, talk to you, be with you, he will make it clear. Then again, I don't do that internet dating stuff, but I'd imagine after a few conversations of false "getting to know you" it would be pretty easy to just decide no and stop communicating with someone you haven't actually met, the problem I see with Internet Dating is that people (especially women) get too tied up with people they just haven't met and have no relationship with whatsoever, but bring it into reality in their own heads.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Since I like the sexy libra best, and he charmed me with chocolate, maybe I could say:

"Hope you received my reply, if you're not feeling the desire to dip me in a vat of Hershey's finest and lick your way to the golden ticket, then I wish you all the best."

whadda think?

I presume you do internet dating as you are looking for a relationship. This will at most get you a FB, if you get a reply at all.

Why do you want to reply at all? Any email you send will be one containing the words "why haven't you replied to me" regardless of whether you actually write those words at all, why not accept that they just haven't replied, if and when they do, take it from there. To be very honest BGP, through all the posts you have put up on these boards in relation to your communications with men and their subsequent non-communication back, you come across as desperate to have a relationship and some of your communications with them have been demanding and needy, this would be off-putting to any man or woman, you're trying to get back in touch with the nudey taurus who you allowed to put you through an emotional rollercoaster of your own making, why not give the whole thing a break for a while and just let life happen.