Dating making me more sad...

Hi everybody....

I have started dating a new guy, who is very kind, caring and fun...We have gone out a few times and I do enjoy his company but I am very sad throughout the dates and after...Although he is great, he is not my Libra...I know everybody says to date and move on but this is making me think about the libra more...It just feels wrong...It felt so wrong that the last time we were out on a date, I told him that I am only interested in a friendship...

Do you think I should give it more time before I try dating a again, or should I push myself...I just wonder if he (date) can sense or feel how I am feeling when we are out together..

I have never felt this way before, I stopped crying a long time ago over the Libra, but after I went on my first date with this guy, I started crying as soon as I got in my car to go home...Am I being weird or what?? In general, I feel really good but feel really sad when I go out with someone else...

Any advice...Wait awhile maybe??

Yes, you should give yourself more time. You're not willing to extend yourself because you haven't fully mended your heart yet. Heal first. You feel empty inside and that's why it's hard to be giving with someone new. An empty cup can't quench anyone's thirst.

It's a grieving process everyone experiences when there's a loss but everyone experiences losses DIFFERENTLY. Your process may just take a little more time. But you should try to focus on more positive and inspirational things that allow you to feel BETTER. Don't sit around moping and feeling depressed. Go for walks. Do some type of activity. ANY activity. Being sedentary and sad is NOT going to help you move forward and will only keep you stuck in depression.

Kudos for at least trying to go out and date but you now know you're not ready for that yet. So take a little time off to do things for YOU.

(((((((hugs))))))))))

Definately past the moping and depression...Just feel sad when I date...I think your right I am not ready to date, it dosen't feel right at this time...

Thanks templeofjaguar

* In general, I feel really good but feel really sad when I go out with someone else...

In that case, I would wait.

When I was frog kissing, the past couple of years when I was single and available, I found a couple of things helped. Mostly what helped me was being REALLY, REALLY clear about what I wanted in a guy and the type of relationship I wanted. So even when a frog proved himself to be just a frog although I felt down, I would go back to that list of what I wanted. A secure, stable, fun, loving relationship. Often I found the frog wasn't providing that anyway so obviously he wasn't the right frog.

I also really kept myself really occupied in the between mens times. I tried to surround myself with people who really uplifted me and creative projects that really excited me. I was crazy busy with fun things and fun people. I probably met and made more friends in the years I was single than ever before.

Keep the faith sister. There is a frog with your name on it as hard as it is to see right now. Just enjoy this time knowing that he will find you when it is time because this time is very healing and gives you a chance to really expand your horizons without the limitations of a partner.

😄

HH, you aren't ready, concentrate on you first. Like everyone said. Heal and discover somethings about yourself. Try something new. It took me a year plus after I left my libra hubby to start going on dates. I invested that time in myself. Took a couple of self realization conferences. Really looked into myself as a person to see where I wanted my life to go from here and how I wanted my life to be from now on for me and my daughter. I know it wasn't a marriage, but the heart needs to heal before it can fairly love again. (((Hugs))) You should PM Chatz, she went through the exact same thing with her libra for awhile after it ended, she is also a leo.

Dont wait for your libra. You will only waste your time. Spend some quality time on yourself. Keep yourself away from people for a while and try to think about yourself and your actual needs. Then go hunting after a while.

Mmmmm hunting!!!

You're a Leo damnit Hurt Heart.....this guy isn't going to keep getting you down....he doesnt deserve your time any longer....I know you think easier said than done but you know what?? that's not true coz it is easy if you just let him go. I went through hell with my LIbra....I still think of him every single day but Im dating, IM having more fun than I've had in a very long time and much more fun without him - he held me back, he stopped me from having a life by his pessimistic life style and the way he would shove me aside while he went through his depressive mood swings. Apparently a huge thing with Libras anyway and as a Leo do you really think you could live with that?? uh uh, we're way too positive for that and see good in a bad situation (normally) and when we're depressed? sheesh, we may roar but once we've done so, we'll get on with life.....

I've analyzed my very own situation more than I'd like to admit and realise that my Libra did me a HUGE favour and let me get to the stage where I believe Im better off without him in my life even as a friend....perhaps some time down the road he'll resurface but I will be emotionally equipped to just say hi, nice to see you, and walk on by without my heart doing summersaults. If your LIbra has said to you "you deserve better"....trust him, that's the truth coz he has so much growing up to do and is still emotionally scarred from his past experience/s....do you want to babysit him? do you want to continually stroke his ego whilst he dismisses your needs? I dont think it would work....a Leo without any of her own ego stroking?? a disaster in the making.

You need somebody who is emotionally ready, you need to know that you deserve so much better than this guy was giving you. You still see the good in him but its best to either write or do a mental list of the good points and the bad points, then weigh them up....is it worth wasting more months/years on this guy when he clearly does not respect you.

Harsh? possibly but I did just that - I wasted countless nights waiting and hoping he'd pop online or text me or call or whatever...but nup, he was living his life whilst I wasnt...the tables are now turned and I know mine is sitting at home moping and Im getting out havign a life.....I'd have been miserable with him in the long run 🙂

Save yourself LOL

Chatzy is a wise puddy tat.

Thanks everybody

I do feel good most of the time...I am positive and I can see how low his self esteem is, and I know that I would constantly have to boost him...He seems to be focused on my looks more than anything else, always saying that guys must hit on me on the time, asking how many people have asked me out since the last time I saw him, saying I must have been a mess without him and I must have really missed him...I think these are questions that he asks to satisy his own insecurities because he is afraid to commit in case someone cheats on him...But it gets on my nerves, I don't want to constantly be reassuring someone that I only want to be with them...

He is a wonderful person but he has been seriously knocked down and he needs to figure this out for himself...He is going to counselling now...I hope that it helps him...

And I am not waiting for him, I told him that he was holding me back from moving on, beacuse he hasn't decided whether he wants to be with me or not...I knew he would cut contact if I said this and he did...Told me to have a good life, so i don't expect to hear from him ever again...

I am moving on, llike Little Sparrow said maybe I need to date somemore frogs, but I think I will give it more time before I do...

Good choice HH.

Hurt Heart if anyone knows about this dating thing its me!! I just found out that my ex libra was seeing other women (and I mean women ... like 10 years older then him). How could I have been so stupid and blind?

See the whole part of dating is learning to find yourself. Finding what you like and what you don't like.

Once you realize who you are inside (this took me years) and learn to be confident in who you are ... people will come to you. Your personality and assurance will attract people. You'll be fighting them off with a stick .. lol!! No you may not be the prettiest or the smartest girl but your YOU and that is going to be PERFECT for someone one day.

Maybe some alone time like thelibran said would be good. Take a break from guys and all that drahma cause girl it's awful. Dating is nothing I thought it would be. You must very emotionally prepared and sweetheart your not. Infact although I know I deserve better that that butthole of an ex libra part of me is still hurt and when I see him I wanna cry. **tears**

I'm always here... GOOD LUCK!!

Southern Beauty

Sometimes i think that knowing myself and what I want is the problem...My friends always tell me that I am too hard on the men that I date and when something goes wrong I walk away...But I know what I can tolerate and what I won't tolerate and if I see these behaviours early in a relationship, why stick around— I have been single for seven years (dating but nothing serious) and I have not met anyone until my Libra that I would have even considered getting serious with...It just felt right with him from our first date on...I guess that's why I have taken it so hard...I am still having a hard time accepting that I fell in love with somebody who wasn't showing his true quailities...

I still have to, on a daily basis, tell myself that he is different now from the person that I fell in love in...and that the person I fell in love with is not real...or he is choosing to be something else to drive me away...he tells me he's scared and that is why he acts that way, but then he continues to act in the same manner...

I have also thought about it a lot this week and I am wondering if subconciously, I don't want to date, because I am waiting for him to come back....I am beginning to believe that this is what's happening...and now that I realize it, i'm wondering why I would feel this way, when he seems so different from the person I met...I don't know which is his true values, beliefs, goals ect because they are different now..I could see myself spending a lifetime with the person that I met and fell in love with, but I could not see having a relationship with the person he is being now...This probably dosen't make sense to anyone...

Anyways he's not coming back, he's got two personaliites, and I should grow up and move on...I think I will take some time and then date again!!!

Sorry about your Libra...One good thing with me is that I don't have too see him, beacuse he lives in a different area...It must have been hard for you to move on having to see him socially...

It does make sense! You're still in the healing process...If it's possible, stop digging and inventing reasons for the break-up...Especially about that man...He's different from you...I doubt that he would even understand himself clearly so it's also impossible for you to understand him...If you keep thinking about why/how it came to this and why/how he was like this, you will never get over it..Leave it at that and move on...Take sometimes to enjoy other things...Pursue other things instead of dating...It's not the only type of love in the world...There are other types of love...
Anyway, do what you think is best for you.I'm just an outsider therfore it's also impossible to know exactly what is going on inside your brain 🙂

I understand. Me being a libra I always feel like there is a reason that people act the way they do. Maybe from past relashionship/family problems/childhood trahmas ... all that stuff. I always think like that. I try to be fair and give everyone the bennifit of the doubt. Sometimes I hate it and sometimes It works out for the better. See I can't stay mad at anyone. Especially if it's just like a little fight or misunderstanding. My libra knows that ... he knows his smile toughes my heart.

I have learned that there is always 2 sides to everything. Communication is so important in a relashionship and you always feel better when you talk about it. I try to stay mad and blow it off but it just eats me up inside. See and also libras are very indecisive and are cautious sbout their decisions because we don't want to hurt anyone. We will go back and forth until we drive ourselves crazy!! Weighing both sides of everything. Also we tend to hold on to relationships ... maybe not in a "I still love you way" but in a friend kinda way. We hate when someone is upset or mad at us. It unbalances us. We also stay in bad relashionships ... why ... maybe cause we are scared? He prolly fell out of love with her along time ago, but kept the relashionship because it was comfortable to him. IDK?

Oh and about you being picky ... ha ... girl I know what you mean. It hasn't been 7 years for me, but when I saw my libra my heart dropped!! I think that's why it hurts so bad. I saw my libra Friday, Sat. and Sunday!! Talk about hard!!