Delicate Topic

So as some of you know, my fiance's mother passed away on Dec. 4th. I went up to be with him for 2 days and felt that the rest of the time should be spent with his family. I talked to him every day just to say hi/goodnight and let him talk about his mom if he wanted. I got "I love you so much" twice while up there, but nothing since then, but that's ok because I figured it was his emotions talking.

He is coming back to Houston tomorrow. How should I handle this? Should I continue to talk to him once or twice a day or should I let him just come around and call me when he's ready?

I sense he will withdraw some over the next several weeks with it being the holidays and all, but it is tearing me up that I feel like I havent done much to be there for him except for the phone calls and attending the funeral.

I feel it was best that I not overstay my visit while visiting his family, so I felt going up the day before the funeral and stay through the evening of the funeral was ample time. I put myself in his shoes in terms of what I possibly would be dealing with during that mourning period. It still hurts that I technically am not family and did not do all the things that family do during this time.

The irony of all this? When we got engaged, we set our wedding date as December 6th. She passed on December 4th. 😢

Hi HP!

If I were you, I would just ask him. Just tell him you really want to support him in whatever way he needs and that all he needs to do is ask.

When my dad died, it wasn't that big of a deal to me. It really was a non-event. Other people, who didn't even know him, were more upset on my behalf than I was and that was uncomfortable, so just try to figure out how upset he is and ask what he needs.

(((HP)))

I know it is a tough place to be. Everyone wants to do something but no one ever knows what that something is.

I would still call him and let him call you. Don't over think it. Just be a good friend.

🙂

agree with the leokitten on you already being family.

🙂

Hi HP,

He probably isn't feeling particularly strong at the moment. We tend to withdraw, but in some instances, it is because we don't have any direction.

When my mom died, Mr. Scorpio was the strong one when it came to the everyday details like eating and getting life back in prospective.

You are his fiance, so you are his family. I suggest you gently nudge him along in the next several weeks, either inviting him for dinner, taking him lunch. In other words, the basics. Don't let him get "too out there" as us Libra's tend to do at times of stress.

Blessings to you and your fiance.