libra confused

am a female libra goin out wit a male cancer...the relationship seems fine btu now it tends to get me more and more confused...one day he'll be all over me..and then the nxt,he'll leave me hangin and the reason for it is that he is confused bout himself...he goes on and off...u knw wat i mean?...and yeah,he's younger than me..it goes on one day fine then the nxt i wont even hear from him..we've been out for 10 mnths now,i just dunno wat he wants sumtimes..or am i just being needy..i dunno wat to do..am i suppose to jst let him be/pretend nuthing is up?..hmmmm,am really happy most of the time,its just that its tiring wen it goes up and down like dis...am lost...any advice?

Post on the Cancer board... but I personally never had problems with Cancer beign wishy washy. My relationship with one was set in stone and didn't change from beginning to end.

cancer males are too crazy for me. the one i knew found the stupiest things to be vindictive about. the stalking scared the crap out of me. yep, hot and cold with this cancer mail and always suspicious. i stopped contact bc he was just crazy. sweet and caring one moment and a lunatic the next. not for me.

Well the reason you might be feeling this way is because Libras naturally need a sense of security & balance in the relationship. You guys like to be either totally in love (and playing the "love" role) or be completely friends, with in between. Once a Libra is attached they like for things to take off & like for things to remain the same. Every Libra likes to continually be reassured that the person they fell in love with will still be that same person 10 months down the road. And I think the problem is that you are starting to sense some doubt on his part & it's really messing with your constant need for assurance & stability.

I honestly don't know why your Cancer is acting this way. Because in all honesty, Cancers & Libras mesh very well together because of their mutual love for love. They both like to be attached at the hip to their loved ones & like to play the role they were given & live happily ever after. If your Cancer is attached one minute & distant the next, then that is a tell tale sign that either:

1. He's not emotionally available yet. Men like this will selfishly get into new relationships knowing good & well they are still holding on to a past grudge; thus they cannot fully give you 100% of what you deserve because they haven't even healed from whatever changed/bothered them in the past.

2. He's questioning himself about how worthy of a relationship the 2 of you have. One minute, he might feel like he's got the best woman in the world & the next minute, you can do something so small that he dislikes & he might start questioning things all over again. When this starts to happen, that usually means that a man has jumped into a relationship before really making sure you're who he wanted, versus the other million women that are competition. One thing's for sure, his feelings usually match up with his actions. If he's all over you one minute it's b/c that's how he feels inside. And if he's all of the sudden distant from you the next day, it's probably because he might be feeling a void inside somewhere that he can't pinpoint. And until he can put a finger on that void, he'd rather just distance himself from everyone close to him

Or 3. This man doesn't know what he wants yet or is simply dealing with guilt that stemmed from somewhere. It's no different than when they say a man is cheating; he'll be "Mr. perfect" one day when his spirits are high but the next day his guilt might set in & so will the distance towards his partner.

Cancers can be very wishy washy before they have made a personal commitment to someone, because just like the average Libra, they are in constant fear of picking the wrong mate or being betrayed. But once a commitment (in his mind, not just yours) is made, it's very unusual for a Cancer male to be wishy washy & distant. Cancer men are like Libra women. They are very picky & others have a hard time getting them to attach to them. But once the attachment happens, Cancers are usually content in their decision of who they've picked to be their mate (either for the moment or for long term) & usually let the relationship play itself out.

You might want to try to figure out why you're Cancer is being this way towards you, because trust me he knows why. He's just not telling you. And he may not be telling you because you're simply not asking & he might be waiting on you to pry that subject open OR he's so confused about himself or the relationship that even HE'S NOT ready to deal/handle it yet. If he's waiting on you to pry it out of him, go ahead, put the pride down & try to figure out what's going on inside of his head. You'd be suprised at how much more he appreciates you for "caring." BUT if he's dealing with an issue that he's not ready to tackle yet out of respect for the relationship, then you will ALWAYS feel that sense of distance & instability until the day he decides to either eliminate that behavior or make you understand why he's doing it.

Don't just sit back & let your confusions grow because for all you know, what he's dwelling on could be something so simple & workable (and he may not even realize it & won't realize it unless you come forward & try to help him). And if you keep dwelling on something that may not really even mean disaster like you thought it did, you will find yourself starting to question the worth of the whole relationship as a whole. And there's nothing worse than 2 people who REALLY want to love eachother so bad, but let something so small or something so workable come between it

If you tell him how you feel & he doesn't see the need to open up that extra communication with you then you'll then have the answer to your own question. But try first. And if it doesn't work, do what any woman should do (regardless of his sign) & let go until he realizes that when 2 people are in love, how 1 person communicates, loves & fights for the relationship determines how the other person will do all of those same things

thnk you so much krysrenee7...i did talk to him bout it and told him bout wat i felt a few days ago...and we did talk and he opened up and told me wat was goin on..he was actually afraid of losing me and thinkin that he hasnt done enuff for me...its silly really...anyways,we did start talking and we hv gotten that out of the way..and we hv made adeal to talk things thru wenever any of us are thinking or feeling sumthng...rather than keeping quiet and let the other go crazy...🙂..

thanx again krysrenee7,ur input really helped me..

No problem 🙂. And hey, the reason he might've felt like holding in his emotions (which explains the wishy-washy-ness) is because somewhere a long the line he felt that you wouldn't understand his feelings or think his sudden behavior wasn't justifiable even though he felt that way. It is possible that this guy might've felt that you were attaching too quickly or giving a lot more into the relationship/friendship then he was & so naturally he might've decided to keep you at a distance every once in a while just to play it safe with you. And hey, it sucks, but sometimes I respect men like that alot more. There is nothing worse than a man "pretending" to be more attached or more into you just out of spite for not wanting to let you down, b/c in all reality, by him covering up his feelings & letting his feelings get the best of him to the point of letting it almost come between the connection the two of you have, is another form of hurting someone else or the relationship. Anytime the communication is lacking, it is taking away from the potential growth of the relationship.

All I can say now is, watch & make sure the "distance" doesn't continue. If what he told you was REALLY the reason for the wishy washy-ness & if he's lead you to believe that that whole "stage" is over now, then he has to be persistent & consistent. If the behavior continues then you'll know that he wasn't being sincere & that'll be a problem. And hey, he might be the kind of guy that isn't very quick to put his feelings off on others (out of fear of sudden rejection or a misunderstanding that'll cause him to lose you) so the next time you sense him distancing himself (for whatever reason), atleast now you'll know that the first & best way to tackle the issue is to communicate, talk about it & try to figure out what's the problem. And if that STILL doesn't work, then that's an indication that he's just one of those types of men that isn't emotionally available, hence it explains why their behavior changes & turns on & off like a light switch. Hopefully, now that he knows you cared enough to "pry" open his feelings he might respect & adore you twice as much & might remember that in the future when he finds himself not wanting to open up about something. There is nothing more attractive to a man then when he can tell his woman or his friend-almost-lover, anything & still know deep down that regardless, everything will be alright.

i just dunno wat he wants sumtimes..or am i just being needy" A cancer male?...hances are he doesn't know what he wants...my best guy friends are cancers and they are so on and off off and on in a relationship...don't know what they want or what makes them happy....one is dating a libra and he complains that she's not emotional enough he needs some drama to make him feel like he's being loved...

"i just dunno wat he wants sumtimes..or am i just being needy" A cancer male?...hances are he doesn't know what he wants...my best guy friends are cancers and they are so on and off off and on in a relationship...don't know what they want or what makes them happy....one is dating a libra and he complains that she's not emotional enough he needs some drama to make him feel like he's being loved..."

Well, the best way to find out exactly what he wants is to simply ask. Find a way to open up that topic for discussion. Sometimes Cancers are sitting & waiting on their partners to pry them open just for the hell of knowing that the other person notices them. If this guy doesn't open up or doesn't appear to know what he wants, then the relationship is already doomed for trouble. If he doesn't know what he wants then there is no way for you to be certain that he picked YOU because it's YOU that he wants for sure. A man that doesn't know what he wants can't add that stability & consistency to a relationship & that alone, will cause the relationship to crash before you know it.

If this guy gives you a good explanation for his wishy-washiness (whether he tells you it's HIM or that it's something he feels YOU are doing wrong), then you've got to make the decision of whether or not you feel it worth it to go down that road & try to fix the problem. Cancer males have been known to purposely act wishy washy just for the heck of seeing if their mate's care enough to first notice & then communicate with them that you noticed. In their minds, they see it as proof that you're concern for him is valid. And hey, you might not have time for those kinds of games, but just like he needs to make up his mind, so do you. The MOST IMPORTANT THING is that atleast YOU know what you want. What you see is what you get. I'm sure all of us don't want a "sometimes" boyfriend. And if you only find him worthy on certain days & confusing & petty on other days, then you have to quick trying to figure out what he wants & worry more about what you want, what you're willing to overlook & what you're willing to accept about his personality. Be honest with yourself. Libras & Cancers are both emotional creatures but Cancers bring out their emotions to the extreme a little more than Libras do & that's why it's not always a good thing when 2 emotional or "easily swayed" people get into a relationship.

If you care enough to know, just ask him why he's being the way he's being.

Sometimes Cancers are sitting & waiting on their partners to pry them open just for the hell of knowing that the other person notices them.

If you care enough to know, just ask him why he's being the way he's being. And hey, you've got to be honest with yourself before you expect others to be honest with you. If you don't want to accept or don't justify his answers or explanations then you've got to make the choice. If you sit around, analyze & drive yourself crazy about it, things will never grow. And if his explanation is good enough for you & something you can truly understand & work with then do what you've got to do to keep the relationship rolling.

Cancer men do play alot of mind games because they need constant reassurance that they are acknowledged, appreciated & understood. It sucks sometimes b/c when things are going so well they'll all of the sudden mess up the flow with that "emotional" or "Confused" crap, but you've got to figure out if he's being this way b/c he needs you as his woman to bring him out of it OR if he's doing this out of spite, or due to being emotionally unvailable. Sometimes others won't give us the answres & explanations we want to hear but when that happens, we just have to lean on our own emotions, our own instincts & our own "is it worth it or is it not?" intuition & make the decision for the both of you. Good luck. I hope everything works out