Libra confusion...?

Like most girls on this site... I had the hot cold thing with a Libra. But when he was hot i was hotter and when he went cold i went colder. to cut a long story short... i put my gaurd up. he said he likes me but wasn't ready for commitment and i said i never asked for commitment..anyways i told him i really like him as a person and want to be friends...so friends we are.

I haven't had sex with him since and when he tries to kiss me on the lips i pull away so now he doesnt try to kiss me on the lips anymore. We see eachother most nights either randomly or he'll come to see me. sometimes he messages me to see where i am or just rock up unannounced. Last night he messaged me to see what i was doing but it was really late and i was in bed so i didnt see him. but if i message him to do something he doesnt reply... but sometimes he will just rock up eventually without telling me so i never know. I don't know what this means?

When he messages its because he's out the front of my work and wants to hang out with me...he never tells me in advance or makes plans with me unless it's see you tomorrow or tuesday or whatever but never what time.

When we do hang out, we're up til 5am talking about anything and everything and we make eachother laugh like crazy and love eachothers company, we have everything in common.

At first i thought...he only sees me when its convenient. then i realised it's not that, because its at least 4 times a week, theres nothing convenient about that and it's not for sex because we stopped that when we decided on friendship. There's heaps of chemistry and attraction on both ends.

You know the saying "the ball is in your court"? I don't know where the ball is anymore. Is it in mine or his? I really like this guy and since he mentioned not wanting commitment a month ago... we've grown closer and closer on a different level and i've thought about it, and i think i want commitment now. How do i test the waters? I'm a Leo and am very direct and aggressive when i want something but i don't want to come across that way in this situation because i don't want to ruin what we have.

the ball evaporated into the ether. leave it up to gawd now..
libra can put things on hold while they develop.
libra cannot be manipulated, especially by a leo.. very soon itll be the other way around (or is it already?).

"You know the saying "the ball is in your court"? I don't know where the ball is anymore. Is it in mine or his? I really like this guy and since he mentioned not wanting commitment a month ago... we've grown closer and closer on a different level and i've thought about it, and i think i want commitment now. How do i test the waters? I'm a Leo and am very direct and aggressive when i want something but i don't want to come across that way in this situation because i don't want to ruin what we have."

When the pressure is off that is the most comfortable feeling for a man, to know he can hang with a woman and the woman not expect anything from it, now your expectations are on again and he will RESIST you, a real relationship has to be his idea or he's not going to really budge, he was going cold in the past and it seems he only loosened up when you offered up friendship which allowed him to take his guard down and stop going cold, so although you may want more be prepared for him to go cold again because if he wanted a relationship with you he would tell you, he would give you that, the fact that he's not offering it up means he's not interested in having that kind of connection with you...

Tiki, I agree with you. Libras love being in love so to just let a woman he's into slide with just a friendship,seems to be a lost of interest in a relationship. Libras get bored to easily when things aren't going their way. We will allow someone to entertain us until someone else comes along. So be careful with this one, IMO libras aren't interested in let's be friends before we are lovers. We are lovers first and hopefully we will be the best of friends. We are usually all or nothing. Remember just my opinion.

i told him i have too much going on for commitment when he said he wasn't ready. im in the process of selling my buisiness and my whole life is up in the air and he knows that.

we were lovers first, it was the most passionate thing we have both ever experienced but it happened way too fast. and since i suggested being friends he has tried to kiss me a few times but i was the one who pulled away, not him and he hasn't tried to kiss me again in the past 2 weeks. if he wanted me as more then friends would he keep wanting to see me every 2nd day and keep trying to kiss me or would he back off more then that?

we saw eachother on Tuesday and Wednesday then on Thursday he wanted to see me and i wasn't available, then last night i wanted to see him and he ignored my message. he came up to me briefly today and he brought it up and made an excuse for not seeing me but didn't say why he didn't reply and he knows i hate being ignored more than anything in the world. And he'll probably come past tonight...

I get the feeling that he wants me to be there for him whenever he wants and if im not available for him then he pays me back by not being available for me the next day... do they do this as revenge?

Somechick you have told him how you feel, stick with that, your back and forth I want this, I don't want this will create more confusion. When he said he wasn't ready your response to that could have been look me up when you are ready and you give men that are open and ready more of your time and good energy but you neglected to do that, you continued on in hopes of changing his mind, that never works, he will take what you offer up without thinking twice about giving you a real relationship, he figures you don't have much going on in your life if your completely at his beck and call and some men take full advantage of it...

I don't think your being completely honest and your back and forth behavior proves that to be true. You suggested being friends and some men are attracted to that, attracted to unavailability that doesn't mean he actually wants it once he gets it or he would have took you on the moment he met you, I believe it still stands true he's not ready and that he's more comfortable with a non-committal relationship with you, some men like to pursue to prove they are desirable, to prove to themselves that so and so still wants me but that doesn't mean once it's offered up that he will take it, he will most likely reject your offer and distance himself UNLESS you come back with another non-committal relationship he will not try to be in your life.

I think your feelings are going to get you a heavy dose of rejection because no matter how much the world has changed, one thing that remains a constant is a man has to send you his energy and he has to be the one that says I want a relationship for it to really have true meaning, you can want a relationship all day long but if he's more comfortable with something more casual there isn't much you can do about his feelings, I'm not saying your way is wrong, mind you there is no real right or wrong but your way is the hard way, a woman wants to feel loved and cherished and most times when she pushes for what she wants she ends up doing all the work, being the whole relationship and creating a lazy man that hardly cares...

My suggestion to you is to create a bit of distance as to not set yourself up, date other people, focus on your life and allow him to figure out if your a casual thing which it seems right now to be for him and allow him time to decide if he wants to try a real relationship which could take forever for an unsure libra man.

And no he's not seeking revenege...your not in a relationship yet because you have chosen to give him more of yourself, your time and energy beyond what a casual friend would do he expects that all the time and when your not giving him that it feels like your playing games, you set the pace of him HAVING WAY MORE than he really should so typically a man will distance himself if he feels your attempting to manipulate more out of him and therefore he will move away from you. I am not saying your intentionally playing head games or manipulating but it feels that way when a woman isn't consistent and when a woman accepts less from a man and expects more and does little undercover things to get more the end result of that he will ignore you and come back on his terms to maintain his lopsided luxury of having a casual relationship with you, it's about maintaining balance, the balance is and has been you give more, he didn't create that, you did...

Thank you for your advice. You're right i guess... i have given him more time than i should, but he has also given me more than friends would too.

He hasn't told any of his friends we're just friends, he's left them thinking we're still together...
Sometimes i wonder if he's as confused about me as i am about him.

The other night we slept together. It was something we had spoken about a month ago and agreed we weren't going to do anymore. Anyway, it happened. He came over, kept telling me to kiss him and i kept saying no, then i gave in and the rest... he intiated.

The next day he messaged me saying.. what happened is the last time its happening. So what he did was turn his actions around onto me.

I saw him again last night and we both pretended like nothing ever happened and we stayed up talking all night til morning like we would have usually. The subject never got mentioned.

Can anyone make any sense of this? I sure cant.

Not gunna lie i pull this crap all the time with my ex which i still like. She's a libra to but it confuses the crap out of her which i love. i like to keep her guessing and wondering when i may show up next. Its just a way to make sure he is on your mind. Considering you posted this it seems his tactics are working to a mild extent. It may be stupid and childish but it works. But with his whole off and on thing it may just be a game to him.

I think he is being a moron. I'm mad at him now. I told him i was going to go out to kiss a girl(i was joking)...so he kissed some really ugly girl later that night thinking i really did go out and pick up a girl and made sure i saw him kiss her... i laughed and teased him about having no standards cos she was that bad...

He called me and i told him i was at my beach house and then i saw him last night and he said he spent the night at a friends house...she lives 5 minutes from my beach house. He travelled over an hour to stay with a girl in the same area as i was in because he thought i was there with another guy... i told him i was with my family but i dont think he believed me. Why is he trying to copy me then rub it in my face? He was the one who said he wasn't ready for commitment first, not me.

I don't understand what he's trying to prove

well one things for sure.. he's trying to find the balance. it looks like he's playing tit for tat.