Libra man personailty

hi there

I've been with my Libra man for about a year now, I'm a libra too.

He seems to want to go to family functions on his own, we have an up and coming wedding to attend, we missed the last one due to work committments and he has paid the price with his family giving him the cold shoulder etc, especially his mother.

Now we've looked into accommodation for this up and coming wedding and there is nothing, I think we should give it a miss as I won't be blackmailed into submission to attend something that is 5hrs away from us to drive there and back is out of the question and there is no accommodation.

I have offered for Libra man to go by himself but then I thought no why should we do this when it feels like his family are the ones doing the demanding.

Should I let this one slide, keep the peace with the family etc, or stand my ground. I personally think this is going to get worse not better with this family.

Am I in the wrong to think this way——

Yes. You've only been with the guy a month and you already think you can control and tell him what he can and cannot do? You seem rather entitled for being the new girlfriend.

Get a grip. It's not all about you.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Yes. You've only been with the guy a month and you already think you can control and tell him what he can and cannot do? You seem rather entitled for being the new girlfriend.

Get a grip. It's not all about you.

Been over a year actually, so yes I do have a fair bit to say about this, as it affects work rosters, babysitters, fuel to get up there and back, cost of getting clothes etc.

So it is about me actually and our finances.

Posted by feby
If it were me and in my mind it's his family so it's really his decision. If you don't want to go then don't go but let him choose for himself.

I know what you mean by submission and that shit annoys me like nothing else but don't drive a wedge between him and his family or the relationship can be more stressful than it needs to be.

As stated before, I think it's only going to get worse with his family demands....and the punshiment they dish out if we don't submitt.

Hehe year. Why the hell did I read month?

Fail. :/


But I'm still not understanding why you're being such a cold bitch about him seeing his family. You make it sound like his family and the related matters aren't worth the inconvenience. Sounds more like they could have an issue with YOU and the fact he's allowing you to dictate what events he can and can't go to because it causes temporary inconvenience for you.

I mean, if I invited a family member to something with enough notice, only to be told "sorry I work," is kind of bullshit.

Hell, the fact that you think someone's WEDDING is a major inconvenience for you says a lot about you, tbh. You're given enough notice, you can choose whether or not to go, but your biggest issue is "omgz work, and sitters, and ugh, too much effort to go. Let's just not! Someone chose to invite us to their wedding and I just can't be bothered."

Libran laziness at it's best...

There's always a shitty motel somewhere. Or, there's family there/coming in...stay with someone. I've missed several family functions the last few years because I lived too far away. It was a 24+ hour drive from San Antonio, where I was, to Baltimore, where I grew up and my family is. Now from S.Carolina it's only 9 hours each way but that's still a hike. I get up there once or twice a year but can't always plan a trip on short notice.

None of my family has shunned me for not being there. When I do see them it's about "glad you're here" not "where were you last time". If someone gave me shit for that I'd have told em to eat a dick.

It's a wedding, take the kids. Babysitter issue solved.
Stay with friends/family. Lodging issue solved.

What's the other problem? Oh yeah, his family wants to see him... Get used to that.

I??ve seen this scenario on numerous occasions, and honestly I feel you should go. I agree with everyone, you don't want to be known as the over demanding wife/girlfriend that doesn't show up to things. My brother??s girl is like this (she lives in the same city!) and yes we tolerate her because of our niece, but in general we could careless for her. If he goes alone you look bad, if he doesn't show at all you look bad, they will blame you. I understand that it cost money, and it's irritating for others to count your coins, and taking kids to a wedding is easier said than done, especially if they are young; but it is what it is. If I were you I??d call up his mom myself, and let her know like this —Hi Ms.(Blah), I'm calling because I'm aware of the wedding that's happening and we would love to come up there but we are having issues finding a suitable hotel and stuff, I don't want that to stop us from coming, so I'm wondering do you know of any in the area that are affordable and suitable that we can try out—
This is her chance to tell you of some reasonable rates or local hotels, and also her chance to say —If you can't find a hotel, we can always make room for you here at the house, I'm sure someone in the family wouldn't mind accommodating.?? If she doesn't offer, then that's when you can stick to her. Because in my own personal opinion at least I called you up personally and told you I'm at least TRYING to come, and if you want your SON there so badly, then you would make it happen, or call around and ask family. Also if your boyfriend really wants to go, cant he call a close cousin, or aunt, uncle grandma, sister etc and say —Hey me and the family are trying to get up there for the wedding, mind if we stay with yall because we are having trouble getting a hotel.?? If they make it an issue than they don't really want yall there.
We have family that comes in from Connecticut like 2 times a year, they are at least 10hrs away, they NEVER have to stay in a hotel, unless they want to. All they have to do is call, and they know the answer, because it's the same vise versa. So that's what I would do.

Posted by Sugarfoot
You're over-thinking it. Just be a supportive girlfriend and go. No matter what kind of a problem you have with someone's family, they will always be there. You may as well not make a mountain out of a molehill. It's better to foster a positive relationship than do things to worsen the situation.

Who says you have to buy new clothes? I'm assuming they don't know what's new in your closet and what isn't. Take the kids, ask family to stay at their place. Every problem has a solution if you care to bother. I don't know where you're from, but in the states 5 hrs drive is nothing. My family lives 8 hrs away and 12 hrs away. I'd drive there and back to attend a wedding. I actually have done that. By myself. So I don't get why it's such an issue. You have had time to plan. Maybe you can find accommodations that are 1-2 hrs away?

Her location says Aussie. Not sure what part, but there's a lot of amazing public transportation compared to most of the States.

Glad I'm not the only one wondering what the big effing deal is, other than she doesn't seem to want to really go- she just makes excuses as to why it's too much of a hassle, and NOW it's about stupid pride in letting just him go. Unless the family is actually demanding that you buy new clothes, stay at a lavish hotel, and that the kids cannot come, I'm not understanding why all of this is being used as a reason why it's such a problem.

But then again, she clearly stated that this is all about her, so I can't help but think she's just being demanding and self absorbed.