Libra Problem

Ok long story short, I met a Libra guy at work and I have been crazy about the guy for a year now. Problem was he had a girlfriend who he loved very much. So now we come to the present day, and he is no longer a taken man. In fact he seems pretty broken up about it. Got a very bitter attitude towards women now and just wants to sleep around, as any man would after having his heart broken, so I get that. Anyway, we hooked up a few times since he's been single, but he had no idea apparently that I wanted "more" out of this. I finally expressed to him how I felt about two weeks ago. I simply said "I like you." But only cuz he was telling me stuff and suggesting stuff to me that was aggrivating me. Ya know, being a little too "free" with me about what he says concerning other sexual relationships and stuff. When you like a guy, it bothers you to hear him talking about other women and then basically asking you about who else you are with. So I let the cat out of the bag and he now knows. Anyway, I shouldn't have said it so soon cuz he's only been single for about two months, but I had to. I don't want him thinking I'm his screw toy ya know? Anyway, since then I haven't been the same with him, on purpose. Cuz I made my point and I need him to think about what I said. He seems to be acting the same way with me though at work, nothin has changed on his end. I guess what I wanna know is, how long does it take a Libra man to overcome a problem like this? I think they take longer cuz they are all about "balance" and stuff. Also, if you were him and I said this to you, would you stay away from me forvever now cuz of what I said? Or are you putting what i said in the back of your head and think about it when you are ready to date again? I mean, can these questions even be answered? LoL
It's just that, there is something about him that draws me to him. Not his looks or anything, but his charm, and sense of humor, and the fact that I feel so comfortable around him, and he turns me on like no other man has ever done. I just don't understand it. Never have I felt so drawn to someone, and never have I waited so long for someone. I don't know why I can't shake him. Like a spell has been put on me or something. It's terrible. So if your a Libra male and you read my story here, give me some insight please :-) How to go about with him, what should I do? Back off? Ignore him? Keep persuing? Help lol Thanks :-)

He still isn't emotionally available. So his position probably won't change for a long time. They take FOREVER it sometimes seem to get over and ex, ask my ex hubby. LOL!!! After 2 1/2 years, I think he is finally getting it.

They make everyone feel like they are the most important person in the world during the one-on-one time together.

He won't be emotionally available until he is ready. You can't force it.

true.

Casper.....from one besotted Libran lover to another who spent a year trying to figure out EXACTLY what you are doing...I can only say, let him go, get on with your life - DONT wait around for him.

"Ya know, being a little too "free" with me about what he says concerning other sexual relationships and stuff. When you like a guy, it bothers you to hear him talking about other women and then basically asking you about who else you are with. So I let the cat out of the bag and he now knows" YUP!!!

If you have told him how you feel and he didnt respond with something similar? go out and date others - this is what he wants you to do (this will NOT upset him).....in answer to whether he will keep what you said in the back of his mind and think about it when he is ready— I dont know, I would seriously doubt it, especially when the not broken Librans say they know who they want to be serious with when they first meet and let you know, but then others say, they need LOTS and LOTS of time to figure things out (and I mean LOTS of time so go out and date)....Mine has been emotionally unavailable for over 2 years and I have tried to "rescue" him many times, put up with a lot of B.S. and I did have to end up ENDING us totally. I doubt when he is ready, that he will come running after me and thats why Im getting on with my life now.

Stay friends, keep up the communication, have fun but don't put all your eggs in one basket....enjoy loads of different dates.

"It's just that, there is something about him that draws me to him. Not his looks or anything, but his charm, and sense of humor, and the fact that I feel so comfortable around him, and he turns me on like no other man has ever done. I just don't understand it. Never have I felt so drawn to someone, and never have I waited so long for someone. I don't know why I can't shake him. Like a spell has been put on me or something" I know that VERY VERY VERY well.....take off the rose coloured glasses and look at this objectively, try to look at it from an outsider's point of view....

Tis all I can say!

"They make everyone feel like they are the most important person in the world during the one-on-one time together.

He won't be emotionally available until he is ready. You can't force it."

That is so very true!!

And by then he may have met so many women who too are trying to get his attention....dont mean to sound harsh but I did what you're doing for a year on this board....all these lovely people can vouch for that...I turned myself inside out, upside down and every other bloody way LOL.

Argghhhhhh thank god for the weekend - I need a drink thinking about this!!!

Him being your opposite sign seems to be the key to that atraction. When I met mine, it wasn't the looks and it wasn't the charm, it was... something else that made me "notice" him. And he noticed you, I'm sure. But for the moment, you are too at hand and too available. They like to be chased but not by an easy prey. And I think they all know how many aspects love can embrace, how many dates and how many shags is one allowed while waiting for the special one. You gave him a hint, and it's ok to give him hints from time to time, but in a very airy and intelectually challenging manner, provided that, in the meantime you go on with your life, be yourself, be funny, be open, casually date and flirt, be sociable and don't act like a sitting target. I know it's hard, and I now that us, aries women get very into someone who's unavailable, but at least try and act cool. It's the only way. And all that because, this coming from one luck duck, a libra man is worthing the effort, every effort, he can make your life the paradise on earth. If you are able to give him the space he needs, he will give you the security you need.
I might be wrong in saying all this, and I'm sure our friends here will help you get the real picture of your situation. Because there are many other aspects besides signs here: his age, your age, what happened with his previous relationship, how long was it, and so on. Good luck!

Hi everyone i'm new to this board but would like to give my thoughts on this matter.
Me being a libra female I can honestly say that we have fun with everybody but its mostly superficial. Here's an example; I sometime date my ex-husband (taurus) although I would never go back to him I just want company I know I give him false hopes but so what. I'm dating a cancer guy whom I am in love with but can't always see him due to his work. When I'm bored I will hang out with anybody (usually men I love men)just to have something to do but my thoughts are always on my cancer. With all that said, you should move on cuz if he's into you you won't have to wonder. We Libras love to show our feelings to those we are attracted to. If he hasn't then you are not the one... one thing we are sure of is who we like or love. hope this helps.

Very true. I concour libradiva. It has been so in my experience with them.

Kennyg,

I think we like to hurt it seems to enlighten us. You think cancers hide in their shells us Libras will shut everyone and everything out until we are balanced. Its just like kennyg said we are the worst to get along with if we're damaged.

KG, so did I become a completely different person after my marriage ended. A better more self- enlightened person.

So much deja vu. . .

Thanks for all the insight everyone :-) I appreciate it.

I just can't give up on him though..I just think he's worth the wait..I will go out and do my thing, and I mean if I fall for someone else, then ok! I will take that, but I can't throw this guy to the side..Sometimes I look past the whole astrology thing and look to a "higher power" ya know what I mean? LoL It's just that so much has happened between he and I over the past year, and it seems that everything that happened with us happened for a "reason"..Some of it is just too "coincidental".. (If I spelled that right LoL) Even down to the fact that I was supposed to leave the current job I work for, with him, for another job in the summer time, and my paper work got screwed up all of a sudden, and I have to wait til january now to go into the other job..Just weird to me how if I didn't stay where I am now, I wouldn't have witnessed him and his girl breaking up, and I wouldn't have hooked up with him at all..I woulda went my way, and he woulda went his basically..That's just an example though, that's just ONE "coincidental" thing that has happened over the past year, there are just so many more..I think if it was all for nothing, what kind of cruel joke did the universe play on me?? Why torture someone for sooo long and then not even give them the prize in the end? I dunno, I guess I'm just a big believer in hope and destiny..But like I said, I will move on for now, but I just believe in my heart that someday he will be available emotionally, and he's gonna give me a try..Libra or not LoL..You all said Libra's hate to be alone right? Eventually he will want to try out a new relationship, even though his attitude is very jaded right now..Last time I had a casual conversation with him, drunk lol, all he kept saying was "I'm never marrying! I don't want another girlfriend ever again!" And blah blah blah! He's just really hurt right now and is unable to trust a female for the time being...I mean he's only been broken up for a little over a month now, so I don't expect him to be like "Be my girlfriend please!" lol
Time will tell I guess, I just hope to God in the end it has a happy ending :-/
Ok lemme stop babbling now, off to bed!
Thanks again everyone :-)

oh dear, I can see myself all over again in this story....oh lordy!!! I made all those excuses too, I kept asking for advice but never listened LOL....I know where you're at Casper, I really do.

I truly do hope you go out and date others though, I always said i would but never did....if he ever wants to be with you, that would not deter him from pursuing (you being with somebody else).

I also thought of the "higher power" and the "coincidents" and the "he's broken for now, maybe a little later on"....oh deary me!! these guys, what they do to us....oh and let us not forget the reading between the lines and the rescue missions when they say things like "Im never going to get married", "never going to have another girlfriend", yada yada yada......

*sigh*

good luck though, its gonna be a rollercoaster ride that's for sure...hope you're prepared

OMG I sound cynical dont I?? LOL......

I dont mean to be, I mean you need to know I was deeply in love and lust with an absolutely wonderful, charming, endearing, sexy and awesome Libra and shhhhh I still am but on a different level. I did it for a year, I tried to "rescue" him for a year and you know what?? it was other women that got the benefit because while I was giving him the physical and emotional of our so-called r/ship, they actually got to go out with him and had drinks/dinner/danced...nothing in it, but THEY got the REAL stuff. Everytime they let him down, it was me he turned to....that was hardly fair and I do see the same happening again and again with those who get hooked up with these broken creatures.

Argghhh its late...I should just go!

Hey guys :-)

Yeah I know what you are all saying about not waiting for him..I understand that totally! Which is why I am going out and dating again hoping someone better will come along, someone who isn't trying to mend a broken heart. And like I said, if I meet someone better then him, then yes I will give it a try. But like I said, there is just something I feel around the Libra that says to me, "Hey relax, cuz you weren't put in this position with him for NOTHING. Something will happen when the time is right. So let him go for now." Which is exactly what I'm doing. I told him how I felt about him, and I want that to sit in his mind.
Kennyg- you said "we may come around if you wait", well I mean I'm not "waiting" so to speak, but you are saying it is possible :-) That maybe when he gets his head clear, he will give me a chance..I understand that I may never be in a relationship with him, but I atleast want the chance to have a few dates with the guy to see if we really do connect on other levels, and I feel he will eventually give me that chance when he's ready. I understand Libra's don't really knock anything til they TRY. Cuz they need to be certain about things before moving on to something else. Ughh! I will just sit back, ignore him, go about my business, and hope that one day he wants to get to know me a little better.

Oh and one more thing. I have an "inspiration" story lol--A friend of mine was after a Libra for THREE years. She totally fell in love with him along the way and was miserable because he never showed any kind of interest towards her. She hinted and hinted for three years! They even slept together and he said to her, "I just wanna be straight forward with you and say that I'm not looking for a relationship right now and this has to be a no strings attached thing for us ok?" She of course agreed cuz I mean well she was so into him she didn't care. So they did that for a little bit. She then decided she couldn't take it anymore and expressed to him that she liked him in email. She was too scared to say it to him in person. He wrote back to her and told her "I knew this would happen, I trhought we agreed that there was no strings attached? I'm sorry but I already told you I am not looking for a relationship." Basically he crushed her heart. So she said to me, "Ok well I tried and now I know that he seriously doesn't want to be with me and after waiting three years, I can finally move on." Even though she didn't want to, but knew she had to. Well she started dating a Taurus after that, and the Libra started to become extremely jealous. He evn tried to getin the way of her new relationship. She broke up with the Taurus for other reasons, it didn't last very long. But shortly after, the Libra was always lurking around where she was hanging out. Long story short, they started dating in July of this year, they are now a couple and he has already told her how much in love he is with her. She is just beyond happy with him. So I mean, three years of waiting, and the impossible with a Libra became possible. Which is why I don't give up hope. I mean the guy FLAT out said he wanted NO strings attached. And look at them now?! He even jokes with her about kids and marriage already! Amazing. That is my inspiration story, and I hope for all you others who like a Libra it inspires you to never give up hope. Not saying to keep waiting around cuz she didn't, she went out and dated. But if it's meant to be, it's meant to be :-)

Casper that is a lovely story and one can only hope that you have the same thing happen in time.

Thanks Chatz me too :-)
I'm actually going on a date in like 15 mins with a Gemini. It's our first date, so we shall see! ::crossing fingers::

Good luck with the date - I am proud of you for dating again...something that took me a YEAR to realise I should do LOL.....enjoy!!! and yes Miracles DO happen hehehe

Hey the date with the Gemini went really good! :-) I realized something about Gemini's, they are very talkative guys. Which is great, cuz there wasn't one dull moment last night. I met him at 11pm and got home at 4am, and didn't even realize how late it was. Was a good time :-)

Well remember that a Gemini can talk for 2 people as they are the sign of twins LOL!!

I was with a Gemini for 7 years....yup, never a dull moment that's for sure...They LOVE talking/socializing and are a lot of fun.

Glad you had a good night 😛

***so much has happened between he and I over the past year, and it seems that everything that happened with us happened for a "reason"..Some of it is just too "coincidental".. ***

What exactly have you two been through? Just be sure to keep everything in prespective?

Just say when he is available, what guarantees he will want a relationship with you? Do you really want to hold on to a hope that might not be? If it happens, great. If it doesn't wiith this hope you are holding on to, it can be disasterous and your heart won't allow, a possibly much better candidate present themselves.

***I understand Libra's don't really knock anything til they TRY. Cuz they need to be certain about things before moving on to something else. Ughh! ***

This only applies if they are in a relationship with someone. They don't feel this way about everyone they meet or are intimate with. You should be aware of that Casper Aries.

Casper Aries, good to see you are dating inspite of it all and had a great date with the Gemini.

LoL Chatz good point :-) He texted me today and said he had a great time and he would see me again soon. So we will see :-)
And Thanks for all the advice Queensscorpio, what we have been through? Well I just mean that so many things have happened that were too coincidental..That's why I used the example I did, cuz I was supposed to be leaving my current job this past summer and my paperwork got messed up, and it forced me to stay where I am still. Had I not stayed, I wouldn't have been around to see that he broke up with his girl. I'm just saying more stuff like that has happened where I keep getting placed in a position with him where I just can't get away from him. It's just alot of little things, or even big things that just keep him in my face. Everytime I try and say "Ok this is it! The last straw! I'm moving on". Something else will happen where I have to have him in my way again. It's annoying but at the same time I keep thinking it's happening for a reason. I hope this makes some kinda sense? lol Ever just feel that someone is in your life for a reason? To either teach you something, or to be someone to you? I dunno..

I was talking to my brother, another air sign. He said to me that I should make the Libra feel "unimportant". Cuz I expressed how I felt, and he knows now. He knows he has me in the palm of his hand. But he said if I take that away, as a MAN and not a Libra, he will begin to miss all the attention and want it back. I have been doing this for two weeks now, and I noticed the little things he is starting to do. At work he comes over and talks to me, cracks a joke once in a while, asks me a question. He never did that stuff before when I paid attention to him. He also looks at me alot more and smiles. I catch him looking at me all the time now! Still I know, he isn't going to want a new relationship so fast, but he is like a baby right now and wants attention and I am no longer giving that to him. I'm keeping it casual and friendly and I think it's bothering him. So I'm gonna stick that for now.

*** Ever just feel that someone is in your life for a reason? To either teach you something, or to be someone to you? I dunno..***

Yes, but remember, people are not always in our life for the reasons we want them to be. He could be in your life for other reasons than romantic. Just try not to read too much into it.

Your brother gave you the best advice. I totally agree. He will eventually approach you in a "read between the lines" sort of way regarding the less attention. He might even ask you out. Who knows. He is damaged, so if he does take it for what it is "a date" not dating or relationship. Just my 2 cents. 😉

I so do not want to heard any of this. My gosh, it's like looking back over the last two years. Good luck waiting. It most likely will not change things. Glad you're dating others. Good luck prying the Libra out of your heart while you are dating others. Accept you're just pals with Libra and you'll be fine (and confused at the same time). We Aries get focused on what we want and like an ornry bull dog, we won't give up that bone. Anyway, be true to yourself. You don't necessary need to make Libra feel important (what is that REALLY going to accomplish? They DON'T change---ask Chatz about her roller coaster). Just be pals. Move on. Libra will come after you anyway BUT just to be pals----even though acting like they want more---or being so charming you take it as romantic interest. They are charming with EVERYONE---the plumber, the garbage man, strangers, you name it. IF you think I sound cynical or bitter, you are partially right---I would not have given up the opportunity to know my Libra Girl as I do under no circumstance. IF she searched her heart, she may say the same thing---but that DISTANCE thing with a broken Libra makes you wonder if she ever will.