libras and decisions and detachment

What is up with Libras being so indecisive. I understand not wanting to be pushed with things and taking time to make up their minds, but they seem never to be able to stick to things or is it my imagination? If they do make a decision how long does it usually take for them to be absoluty sure? Also why are they so detached?

Anyone?

* Because we are cardinal signs .... we initiate change and plans not necessarily follow through

* Because we are air .... air signs are not emotional and are more detached. we look to logic and thought not emotion. Not to say we are not emotional we just look at things through thought.

I posted some good thoughts on indecision called Indecision or Divine Timing. Scroll down the page.

Being a libra, i can say that i agonize over decisions. I can also say that if i dont follow through on something, then my heart is not in it and i am still looking for other ways. HOwever, when i finally decide, something inside of me clicks and nothing (short of death) can stop me from reaching my goal or whatever it is that i've decided on . I think most libras can attest to that. It's getting there that is the hard part. As far as being detached, i cant really make decision based on my emotions because i dont trust my emotions (probably not a good thing) When my emotions get stirred, i feel physically ill and tend to act irrationally. I am more comfortable detaching myself from the situation and acting based on what my head says, rather than my heart.

i have a friend who is a taurus with a libra moon. this really sounds a lot like his actions. it was very confusing, but now makes sense. thanks..

MOON in LIBRA
This is sometimes called "the curse of the Libra Moon" because it makes for an emotional side which is "relationship challenged." Just because you're romantic, though not overly passionate, you might find it hard to live alone. And you certainly dislike being emotionally compromised. Still, your greatest accomplishments are motivated by stimulation from others. You have a strong desire to cooperate and need to be liked. Ever notice that you are better planning than carrying out actions? You aesthetic tastes are found in your fondness for being well-dressed. Too bad, too, because you also have a taste for rich food. You like either some, or all, of the following: books, art, music, the law and legal matters.

or are we indecisive because we really don't care that much?

Message posted by: little_sparrow on 6/13/2006 2:54:20 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.126
or are we indecisive because we really don't care that much?

I don't think so, i can be very indecisive about many things that I am passionate about, when i really don't care then I can become very indifferent. Not sure if this is my Librian sun or my cappy rising tho.....

The detachment is not an act. It is not planned. I wish I was more emotional in my dealings with other people/loved ones (although not in business).

Talking emotional stuff (me) also feels fake quite often. And I definitely don't trust my emotions - well said, Nikki.

It also explains why I feel like an outsider looking in sometimes in dealing with my relationships - it is almost as if I have to fabricate the answers because it is difficult to 'feel' them - or it is flood gates because they are real.

It is like having two parallels (head and heart) that do not cross but co-exist.

Someone once said to me 'You've got to know what you feel and feel what you know' and that is such a struggle...

(Sun, Moon, Mercury, Jupiter and Uranus in Libra - great!)

I suppose there are advantages to being detached...

"For those that think, life is a comedy
For those that feel, life is a tragedy"

--No idea

Horace Walpole, but I looked it up...

no, I definitely care about things..it's just that when i go strictly by my emotions, i make more mistakes or do things that cause me to look back and ask- "what was i even thinking?" i can only speak for myself and my past experiences. When something is presented to me, i usually dont react emotionally, but try to see all the factors that are involved..this leads me to the topic of being passinate about a cause of being opinionated...i always see other options and other viewpoints and it is hard to feel passionately about one thing...i admire people (like scorps and aries) who are passionate and opinionated becuase i will never be that.

I guess detachment and being emotional are two different parameters. I am emotional inside at times. and always detached from the problem. Detachment is more like - if there comes a situation when myself is involved personally and I need to take a step which might affect me negatively, I dont hesitate to do that. Being fair is more important than driving things to my own advantage(though i think i need to be selfish at times, its hard to act that way)... So personal relations, sympathy, attachments all all those values comes second when a libran makes a decision. Top priority is for being fair. Thats a point where a libran stays completely detached i guess...

And we stay indecisive searching all possible solutions for hours, days or even months. But once we reach a certain decision, nothing can ever stop us from reaching our target. There is a fierce determination which drives us - infact more fierce than most signs I guess.

I am a digital artist and I stay indecisive over every single thing I do and sometimes I spend days without doing anything. Once I make up my mind, I get amazing results and surprise myself. But when my clients push me to do work, I normally make bad output. Ambience plays a big role in libran indecisivenes as i hv observed and experimented.

wow! well put

This is amazing. Understanding alot more now. I just found out that I actually have alot of air in my chart today and im a Leo. I have Libra in my chart too. If thats the case why do I have such a damn hard time detaching myself? Tips? How do you detach but not seem like a cold hearted person? Do the two coexist?

I think it is a matter of cause and effect. BECAUSE we are not emotional, we are detached from a situation (in an emotional way, not necessarily in other ways). Emotions come first (or not in our case) and detached behaviour follows.

So you don't consciously detach because that's the effect. What you could possibly do is decide for yourself that certain things (or people perhaps) cannot reach you. But that would then have to be a behavioural change. That's not too difficult (spoken as a true Libra). But would you want to? It also means you will not really care...

Are you talking about office environment?

If a Libra gets off balance and becomes emotional/attached, bad scene. You really don't want to see it.

I have seen that many times, but what is so wrong with showing emotion once in awhile? Trust me, I love my Libra, but its nice to see that he can be very passionate. I am not talking about any enviroment..office, love, but especially letting go of the past. I have a thing for words hurting me for example. I would have someone beat the crap out of me(anywas I would beat the crap out of them lol) than be called say stupid due to childhood issues. I do want to care, but I dont want to be all heart and soul all the time. I have a habit of holding onto the past and being repetative and that are two things I feel I could possibly break if I learned detachment right.

Also Libra for me it has been VERY hard to detach emotionally. I think Leo females are different. I wear my heart on my sleeve and would do anything for anyone. When I put my heart and soul into something its full force, but its usually over love and I forget about the rest.

as a libra, i admire those sorts of traits...i wish i could be all heart, but my thoughts get in the way...

Aww thanks. For the most part being all heart I like, BUT it does get you walked on many times. I also tend to trust fast because of this. Every side has both good and bad. I dont want to get rid of my heart, just looking for more balance. I admire Libras for them being able to make decisions(at least eventually). Mine I usually make very quickly and alot of times that can cause a mess.

I think you are absolutely correct in being and responding 'hurt' when someone says something that you completely disagree with e.g. stupid for childhood issues. You don't want to lose that.

What you may want to practice when conflict happens, is whilst being emotionally hurt on the inside (because when you are you are) - do not show it. Try to stay calm and be less spontaneous in your responses (e.g. don't cry). Leave the room, take a deep breath and count to ten - whatever...

Maybe you admire your Libra for being the way he is with you e.g. comes across as detached and perhaps in control but don't become like a Libra. Find the balance in you.
Libra is not desirable. There is hope for the Libras who write/read on this board because reading about oneself is a bit like a mirror, but the majority probably does not realise that they actually come across as very cold people.

Displaying emotions give away how you 'feel' and that's probably what's bugging you...It makes you vulnerable because someone can tap into it and use it in an argument, and make you feel small. Have been there - with a Libra.

Thank you Libra, that is some really good advice. I do see my fiance as cold sometimes, but I have to stop and remember the real truth of things too. I know alot of times Libras dont mean to hurt people, just its kind of hard not to at times when the majority of the time its the brains, justice, the right thing doing the talking. Sometimes things just become a case and whos right and wrong and winning is not what its about you know? And yes your right I hate that someone can get into that part of me and make me feel that small. One thing I found as me and my Libra have moved further in our relationship though is that he has made me realize alot of stuff in me that is truth. He has helped me to own up to responsiblity. He has helped me to become more indepedent anc speak my mind more. Things I dont feel at times I would never have done if I didnt meet him. The one thing I miss from our relationship the most is the lacking of affection on his end and just say something like a simple saying im beatiful. A female Leo needs her pride strroked. I am not one though who wants it all the time but a balance with that too. Nor do I want someone around 24-7. Contrary to popular belief alot of times Leos are not confident and full of themselves. They often have very little self confidene and we look to others and the outside world to rub our maine lol.

I think you caught me on a talkative day too lol. What is up with Libras and tempers? Is there a way they can work on them or do they ever? Boy when they get mad watch out! LOL

Libra female does not have the temper, as far as I know. But Libra male does. Don't know if this is always but then again it may be an acquired trait due to life's circumstances. Personally I don't think the female and male Libra have that much in common. I am not confrontational, almost a wall, whereas this Libra male is highly confrontational. Maybe we are copying our parents - who knows.

Libra males have many excellent qualities but you have to walk their walk. I have always felt that I was not allowed to be me. Had to be the way he saw me. Caring and ambitious for me but dominant at the same time (is it worth it?). And always about who's right and who's wrong. It's tiring. Yes, he will always see your point of view, is not possessive but...I would not do it again to be very honest.

The lack of affection is something he does not realise because it is not in his nature to be affectionate. This Libra male is affectionate but I was not because he killed that off. But then again if Libra is really in love than all they want to do is touch. But if you guys have been together for a long time then no doubt this changes, and a form of complacency sets in.

It's tough...

From the outside Libras may seem detached an unemotional. I am a very emotional person indeed, but only with those very close to me. Sometimes I can keep things to myself for ages and then my emotions come flooding out all at once but again only those very close have seen me in this state! I find it very hard to keep my emotions from someone so close for any amount of time. I think Librans like to cover up their feelings to others and put on a front and can therefore come across as cold but I really don't feel they are truly detached and unemotional with those very close. Libra men might be different though. One of the problems is we want to reassure everyone that everything's cool and the situation is in control and can hide our feelings for the sake of others, as we always put others first.

But I found Libra female is more emotional than Libra male. My Libra female friend likes to talk and wear her emotions on her sleeve, you can see her changing expressions from 1 topic to the other topic. My Libra boyfriend is what should I say .. I tease, poke, provoke etc and all he does is smile enchantingly or just keep quiet when he's upset. But being a Pisces, I can sense if he has problems in his heart even when he doesn't say anything. The similarities between the two are stubborn if they already decide on something. And if you're talking about astrology to my boyfriend, all he says is it doesn't make any sense, are you saying that if 2 people sharing the same sign, they both share the same personality?

i am a bit indecisive too and i don't like being pushed..sometimes detached emotionaly and only my mind seem to be working..one faculty at a time...

maybe because i am a gem with mars, pluto and saturn in libra..dunno

Wow, all of you wrote some awesome responses on this topic. I will add some to it but not becuase no one missed anything, just more of a personal take, all of you guys covered this amazingly.

The reason we seem indecisive most of the time, or are, is because we naturally see every angle of a situation. We have a natural dualistic outlook on life and the universe and anytime we see anything, our first consideration is of the opposite value, which gives us an ability to understand even small concepts alot more completely than a lot of other people. A side effect of this is that frankly we don't think a lot of the things we come across are valuable or important enought to call for decisive behavior. Because we have completely put together or stripped something to the bone intillectually, we can see the level of importance it holds and most things in day to day life and even a lot of bigger things are not worth decisive action. We can overanalize something agonizingly and come out with a simple "it is what it is" conclusion which irritates a lot of people. We have a tendancy to dwell until we understand completely and then just let it be. Because we are detatched most of the time our original goal was understanding it for personal growth, not understanding because action is necissary.

There are cirtain areas where we are really decisive. We are an "in the moment" sign, we think about what is going on right now more than what will be or has. A lot of us dwell on our past to give us clarity for something going on right now, or possibly in the future, which makes it appear like we have trouble letting go of past relationships. We do, until we understand them completely, then we use that information and knowledge and apply it to our next one. One of the big goals I think for Libras is to understand themselves completely, and when this does happen we become a lot more decisive and less changeable, but it takes a long....long time for us to get there, because we don't declare anything until we are completely sure, and when we are sure, were sure and there is no two ways about it. I have found with a lot of libras, and I have talked about this on other boards, is we excell in cirtain situations which is surprising to a lot of people. I for example excell in do or die type of situations. Because it forces me to block out what is happening except for the variables in front of me and in those situations I can be extremely intuitive and decisive....

....One of these areas for me is fighting. I grew up doing martial arts semi seriously and then discovered later going into adulthood that I excell in combat and a lot of it has to do with our ability to be decisive and detached at the same time under stress. I continue to do this and have learned to put myself in chaotic situations becuase that is where I excell. It took a lot of getting used to and it made me really uncomfortable at first but once I was able to stop analyzing myself and have faith in myself it became clear that I am most effective in emergency type situations. I think that this parallels the arts as well, as both require a lot of situational awareness and the ability to "let go" which if we learn to do unleashes a lot of personal power for us.

A lot of what these point to is the concept of leadership. Libras being cardinal, air, and masculine are born leaders. Not managers, but leaders. We don't argue because we want to persuade you to comming to an understanding with us yourself. We are only confrontational with the intention of making someone "realize" something. We desire to have a higher understanding of the world around us and to then inspire those near with what we know. I could go on and on with this so I'll stop here unless someone wants to converse about it more 😉