Lost interest?

Libra says that he's been very tired because of a new job that he just started. I felt that he has been seeing other women, or that there is another interest elsewhere, which is why the contact and communication is not like it was before. In an attempt to explain the mixed messages and feelings i've been having, I told Libra that i wanted to discontinue what we had. He tried to find out why, and in the end I told him that I'm conflicted because I didn't know if I was ready to be in a relationship , but I liked him alot so i wanted to take things slow, no pressures. Since then there has been barely any contact. He asked yesterday if i wanted to come over, and i said i would love to hang out but i'd rather go somewhere to chat. he said he'd let me know because he had a funeral. In the end, he said that he was sorry but he was in too much of a state to go out..(he had a bad ordeal when his grandfather died so funerals remind him of that). I totally think it was a complete blowoff--he didn't make follow up plans with me, and we haven't spoken all day.

Comments?

Also, what are the signs a libra man has lost interest?

You blew him off. He moved on. We can forget with an insulting quickness.

Imagine he was honest. He really was tired from working a lot at a new job. You think something is wrong and start acting different. Then you give him the old "it's not you, it's me" which we all know is a lie every time it is said. Now, he knows something was wrong but instead of you talking to him you walked away. Maybe he still likes you so he gives you space and decides to try again in a few days/weeks. Then he invites you over, you all are friends right what's the big deal? But you say you'd be more comfortable anywhere but at his place.

I could be all wrong on this, you have a lot more facts than I do. But If I were in the situation I described, I'd walk away too and never look back.


Also, what are the signs a libra man has lost interest?
He stops trying. If he was interested in you at one point and he still wants to be around you, he is still interested on some level.

Thanks Sid for replying. It's always interesting to hear your perspective. You are right, there are alot more facts that i failed to mention. But what I've come to understand is that Libra men always have someone waiting in the wings? and/or they are always pursuing several people at once? The reason I said I'd love to go somewhere to chat is because we've had sex already and i want to take things slow. I also genuinely wanted to see if there was anything there on any other level than physical as it had been when we first met. Is there any hope that he would be interested again? or when you libras move on , it's for good?

It would have to had been really bad for it to be forever.

I don't know about the "always have someone waiting in the wings" thing though. It would depend if you two were serious or not. As bad as it may sound to some people, having sex doesn't mean it is a serious relationship. Very early in something... no, you aren't the only one I am talking to. Once there is a commitment, "going out" / "boyfriend & girlfriend" I only have eyes for her. I will still have friends and I will still go out without her but there is no hidden agenda or anything. My ex told me that even if I didn't have people waiting that they were waiting for me. I always thought it was funny when she'd start with the "so and so has a crush on you" stuff.

I understand wanting to take things slow. If you are interested, go after him. He won't mind at all. Make suggestions to go somewhere specific.

Yes it was early on- we were dating each other for a couple of weeks, but he says that he had been pursuing me for 10 months (no active pursuing in my mind because every time he came to me with that argument I blew it off because I didnt think he was serious). When we had sex it just happened and after it did I was a little anxious because I wasnt fully prepared for it. He said we could hold off on it for awhile if I was uncomfortable. Well, at this point I feel a total and complete divide between the two of us now. As if he's lost interest. This is coming from a man who used to talk to me every single day, for hours and hours on end. The is the first day that we haven't had any contact. How do you know when a libra is serious about you as opposed to when they're dating you, but to them it's just a fling?

We don't "actively pursue" by most peoples definition. We charm.

This is the first day with no contact? Maybe he's just busy. Maybe he broke his toe on the bed last night. One day doesn't mean anything (even if it is the first day all year you hadn't spoken to him). Talk to him. Sit him down and be honest. What's the worst that can happen, you confirm your suspicion? At least then you'd know.

I know that when I have a lot on my mind days can just roll by. I go to work and still do what I have to do but I can withdraw into myself like you wouldn't believe. It's not good or bad and it doesn't mean I am mad at anyone or even that anything is wrong. It just means I had stuff on my mind.

If you want to be with him, go to him. Talk to him and see what's up. If he was really blowing you off you'll know when you talk to him. Watch his face. What is he looking at when he talks to you? If he was just having a bad time cause of the funeral and is stuck in his own head (but is still interested) it will mean a lot to him that you were there.

The Libra man still keeps in contact. Today he messaged me, but with another excuse. I fear it will be excuse after excuse. I honestly feel like he's still trying to keep in touch so that the bridge isn't burned between us so to speak. Do you libra men do that? He hasn't wanted to really see me like before. Then, even if he was dead tired he would not make any excuses not to see me. Now it's all about how tired he is, and that he has to go to this work event and blah blah. Soo if he's lost interest why not just stop messaging with all these excuses? It's not as if I message him. I just leave him be. I'm not following him around asking him why he's so busy, if i can see him etc. In fact I have been silent. If he doesn't message me then we don't talk. So why then is he still trying esp making all these excuses??

Aahh yes! I felt this was the case, that he was just trying to hold unto me just in case---buuuut, how do I know when he has become serious about me again. Say he realizes that he really wants to be with me. Will he just try to see me more often? I was the one who told him that I would like to see him sometimes--I proposed seeing each other casually and if he wanted to date other people then sure but let me know. This is because I want to take things slow, and I didnt want to feel like I'm getting into another relationship soo fast. So I want to know, when libras hear that, is it that he slows down by trtrying to give me space---or are they ready to move on while not burning any bridges? I feel like I've made a total mess of the situation---and I acted on the impulse that he wasn't being as serious as I wanted him to be about us and as serious as I was falling for him. So i put up a wall. Ugh! Noow, I feel like an idiot, because we may have been able to have a real shot. My Gemini heart just didn't want to be tied down as I had been with non-caring Virgo. Virgo trappled all over me, and it's unfair to use his sign, because it was the person himself--only cared about himself.

What do you Libra men think about us inconsistent, flighty Geminis who are so impulsive, they make one decision and the next day a completely different one?! Would you move on, and cut your losses because of this behavior?

It would be hard to see myself with some one who makes firm decisions on a whim and then changes their mind when ever they get an urge. People think Libras are indecisive or that we don't care what happens. We just take a while to make our decisions because we think them through so much. Once I make up my mind you'll have to make a really good case if you're gonna change it.

why is it hard to believe he likes you but isn't sure what you think? If you are being silent or suggesting that you "casually" see each other but are open to see others too... that would make me think you weren't serious. I would back off if someone suggested that to me. Why go after someone who isn't serious about you?

He is probably confused.

Yes, sadly I've done this to him. The back and forth. I didn't want to put myself into something wholeheartedly because he didn't feel "solid" like a virgo. He is an air sign and I get that, but so am I and I was the one falling deep and fast for him. While his communication dropped ---it started out with him saying he misses me aaaaaaalll the time, can't wait to see me, baby this, honey that, to hardly telling me anything about his new job and when I did see him his moood was severely depressing. He used to live in the country and he moved into the city for this new job and when he did everything changed. No more I miss yous, (alhtough he did see me almost everyday) but his mood was a killer. He seemed almost zoned out and distracted. I asked him if everything was ok, and why he was being different buut he said everything was fine--and he seemed to shut me out. So at that point I started oscillating, and picking up on these moods, internalizing them and wanting to get out and not be trapped. He could have used his words in other scenarios--very expressive he is--master communicator, but he couldn't say "Babe, really stressed, have alot going on etc" and on top of that the very first weekend he went out (after being sooo drained) and then I started feeling like he didn't want us to be seen in public. (After the first couple of dates, we've been hanging at his place). This week, he asked if I wanted to come over, and then I said I'd love to hang, but I want to go somewhere so we can vibe and chat." then he said he'd let me know because he was off to a funeral. I messaged him expressing my sorrow for him having to go through the sad feelings of a funeral at which point he said he didn't feel like going out because he never expected the funeral to hit him so hard. Hasn't asked me out since.

I can relate to your situation...I've grown to realize that PATIENCE is a VIRTUE when it comes to a libra. Some libra's are not able to multi task very well, therefore causing a lack of attention to other things. Doesn't really have anything to do with YOU personally, it's their nature to focus on what needs to be handled and a new job was his new focus. Because of your fear of being rejected you broke off the relationship prematurely. If you would have been able to understand what was going on, you would have seen his sweetness again (when he had time to focus). I know that sounds like crap to be put on hold but it's not intentional. His new job could have been like a new woman in his life. It's like libra's can get tunnel vision when their affected by something new. His initial lack of affection caused you to be reserved or pull away and he picked up on it. I know it sounds like i'm saying that it's your fault but in the logic of this libra guy, he most definitely feels like you started it (CRAZY I KNOW). They can sometimes be clueless that your feelings are being hurt by there lack of attention. That initial libra charm can be a MOTHERFUCKER! Believe me I know.

P.S. They also fear rejection and you rejected him with the breakup.

A new job and new city can throw anyone off balance but for a libra they may need a little more time to balance everything out and they need a woman who will be able to understand that.

Hope this helped.

Thanks so much VenusSun. As I was reading this post, I edited my personal message on bbm to which he replied to. He offered to cuddle with me as that's what I wanted. But as it is late here--1:30 am, he asked if it isn't too late to leave my house. So I said it probably is, but it would be nice to cuddle. So he basically said I surprised him because he thought I didnt want to do the alone thing--meaning because I mentioned to him that I wanted to hang out but I'd rather go somewhere and chat. So now I was saying that I wouldnt mind coming over and cuddling at 1am? So i said this is a one off, doesnt he think so? So he said ok. I told him i didnt get him at all and he said he didnt want to cross any boundaries I didnt want to. So I said what do you want? He said I want u, and that he's been busy but he's wanted to spend all the time with me. So I said me too! and that was that! uuuuhhhm what happened to cuddling— Am I the only one finding this strange? Do you libra men just lie back and take whatever the other person wants? Is it that he didnt want to cuddle?? I mean it's a little strange after I said I wasnt sure it is a good idea for him to totally back down. Maybe it's the masculine gemini energy but I'd be dressed and ready to pick him up now. But as the woman, I'd rather be chased by him...but he seems willing to back down and go with whatever I want. This is the attitude that I've been worried about--if he's so content to go along with anything--does it mean he has another woman so he's covered? does it mean that he doesn't want to see me as much as I do? Does it mean he's faking the intensity? Feeling/thought =action for me. so it's strange that he's not acting?!

I agree...
QLibraMale I luv how you are in tuned to your own emotions. Refreshing...not very many people are.

Lissanth----- Remember AGAIN he fears rejection. I think that he was just throwing the cuddling out there just to see if you were still interested in him like that. Once he realized that you were it could have threw him off balance. Meaning he didn't expect to get what he wanted and plus you added a little drama by telling him that you didn't get him. He doesn't want conflict and that sounded like it could lead to it once you got to his place. He is secretly judging your motives, actions and feeling for him. If you are still interested in him and (it maybe be a long shot) but if he suggests something else take him up on it because he probably took a while coming up with his next suggestion for getting close to you. The next time could be for real. Your next rejection could probably kill it for him.


WARNING!!! (Now take this with a grain of salt)

Be careful not to let him get close to you (sexually) as a pay back for rejecting him the first time. Wheeeew...Damn I can analysis the fuck out of something.

Oh VenusSun you are a doll! That's for sure, I will not be getting sexual with him the next time I see him---that was the point of not wanting to be holed up in his place when we see each other all the time. And Libras do not like drama but see to have quite a bit of back and forth going on as well. I was the one who said I was in need of a cuddle--did not say him nor did I ask him--he threw it out there---I guess testing the waters as you said. So from all your responses you genuinely think this Libra is interested in me? Also because of this divide going on between us, i find it hard to converse with him--because when he messages me it's now just basic and talk of work is always there killing the vibe. Tonight I messaged him asking if he was ok because his muscles were aching from work and he mentioned that he has to work again tonight. I understand that now this is his whole life because of the nature of his job, But like are libras known for putting their whole romantic life on hold because of their job----even to the point of not returning messages? Aren't libras like aalll about olove and romance?? I cant say until I know what's like to be in his job shoes--buuut as a Gem, I am messaging whoever I am interested in even if I have to read and then sneak a reply--and this goes for my girlfriend cuz i am juuust so interested in what they have to say. He certainly is taking a long time to come back around.

Qlibra----I accept everything you said, and I realise that I have been hard on him. It's just that I bounce back from feelings quite quickly--and if i'm pursuing you being around you will be soo much better so even if feeling emotional, I would want to be around the person I like. From what I've been hearing from him and from you libras, you guys are so awesome! You are not like the other males of the zodiac you sweet romantic souls. Never having been with a libra, I can't understand how you wouldn't be forceful in your pursuit, and how you would put the other person's feelings way above yours. Also, I would never have guessed that when it comes down to it, you guys are insecure about your loved ones feelings.

Qlibra what's your moon sign?

Qlibra---I think your moon sign is Cancer--that would make you very intune to your partner's emotions as well as your own. This may probably be why your sensitive side is much more apparent in a love connection.


Taste of Chaos---sadly I feel that he is losing interest, and I caused this friction. At the time, I wasn't sure I wanted to get involved deeply as I was falling for him fast. I don't know if something has shifted in the heavens but I find myself wanting him very badly and actually feeling the depth of the connection to him. (Before it was more on the superficial side) I can honestly say I miss him very deeply and it hurts now. Go figure eh, just at the point when he's decided he's lost interest.

Sun in Libra, Moon in Cancer

The combination of your Libra Sun and Cancer Moon produces an idealist bent on finding romantic adventure. You are a deep feeling and understanding person. The emotional balance, courtesy and friendliness of Libra blends well with the depth of feeling, sensitivity and tenacity of Cancer. There often may be some confusion in your life because what you think and what you "feel" may be at odds. It's very difficult for you to decide what to do. Reality and unreality constantly battle for your attention. Very much the idealistic dreamer, you hold yourself somewhat removed from the rest of society. Yet you do like people. You want and need human contact, and you are so consonant that there is some danger people with take advantage of your malleable manner. You understand the feelings and moods of others, so you're very skilled at avoiding conflicts and clashes of temperament. This position personifies the ideals of any peace movement as you are a true lover of freedom, justice, equality, and independence. By nature so peaceful and tactful, you will avoid argument and strife if you possibly can. You are exceedingly adaptable, taking on the color of your surroundings. You mind your own business and don't impose on the rights of others. You aren't likely to become a fighter for social justice or the rights of the masses because you are not a very assertive person. Your philosophies are pretty much centered in yourself, a live and let live attitude. Refined tastes and a strong aesthetic sense encourage interest in the artistic things in life.

Pandora, problem is he has a Virgo moon. So he is both sides of that coin and I noticed this even more so last night. He is extremely meticulous in thoughts to point of being broody. My sun is Gemini but it is severely dampened by my Capricorn moon. My Capricorn moon makes me very reserved, seemingly emotionless and very analytical. For a woman, it's the worst position for a moon sign to be in. Last night i picked up on the fact that he is very analytical as well and maybe this is because of his Libra sun but I felt clearly that he was still evaluating me and our potential. I'm not sure we're working together very well because our times together feel emotionless and "processed". I thought it was just me, that it's because I was unsure of my own emotions thus making me reserved with him. And then I wonder if I bring that side out of him as well.

Forgive my ramblings, I would just love to understand if this is even a connection as I had thought--he is fun and witty but on the deepest level, there is a solid emotionless core to him that I can't seem to vibe with. And at the same time, it brings out my most reserved, emotionless manner. When we're with each other, he seems to bring out my nurturing side in the way I touch him and hug him and hold him. But as for conversation and depth, it is bare. Almost like two pieces that fit but don't. And the thing is, I can't seem to understand what's going on in his mind because he seems so closed, but in the same breath he hugs me so tightly and seems in tune to my body language. Because of this closed feeling (it may be his barriers I don't know) I feel the urge and the need to find out where we are all the time. And that puts me on edge, it stops the flow for whatever reason because in a mate i know I need emotion and emotional support.

So now that I've really gotten to know him in an intimate way, he seems more like a virgo than a libra. The most analytical and broody Libra if I've even seen one.

Believe me Pandora, perhaps later on in life I'll appreciate my Cap moon, but presently and in the past I've found that it makes me seem very serious, authoritarian and rigid. Life and relationships are about fun and I hate that I have to think everything through and not go with the flow. This is what I've done so far with Mr. Libra. We are not exclusive at this point as we've only been dating for almost a month. Last night however it came up and Mr. Libra's reaction was to pull away momentarily and he seemed "stressed". Bad sign I'm thinking, and I could kick myself for bringing it up and indulging the conversation. We Cap moons always have to have everything above board and settled into their respective places--that's why I need to know where I stand, where we're going etc. Total killjoy, but I can't be comfortable any other way.