Question:Courting

So if you're courting someone you really like, how long will you court them before you feel like you two should be becoming exclusive? How long is too long?

I don't think the purpose is exclusivity necessarily.

I will be in it as long as I feel it. In my ideal scenario this moment in time will stretch into infinity.

I will not go out of my way for people who play hard to get. If I sense you're feeling me but you hold back..I won't respect that. I will make allowance for it for a while though.

You'll know what I am about pretty soon because I hate dragging time.

If you don't get it, I will be apalled by your bad taste in women so..it's a no go.

But seriously, other variables come into play but the gist of it is I will persevere as long as I am wanted.

NO that's exactly what I was thinking, I think damnata hit the hammer on the nail. Now to the dragging time part, what if its unintentional but your really just trying to see how things go day by day and if you decides to make the move then it will be right? or is that misleading? and you will stay reserved for as long as the person pursues you correct?

tizani, question for you too.
How would you feel if the person you liked suddenly disappears or maybe decided not to talk to you for some days? Do you look for exclusivity or is it better to be friends for quite some time while making your intentions clear along the way?

I made some grammar errors in there lol let me go get some coffee..

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
NO that's exactly what I was thinking, I think damnata hit the hammer on the nail. Now to the dragging time part, what if its unintentional but your really just trying to see how things go day by day and if you decides to make the move then it will be right? or is that misleading? and you will stay reserved for as long as the person pursues you correct?

I like how you address the questions for the individual posters, Aqua 😛

I am all about day to day. Let me get into depth..bear with my water venus and my fire moon. Things might start to get delusional.

I approach people to see if there's a connection there. To use a metaphor.

Imagine standing beside an infinity lake and you have an infinity amount of small stones next to you.

Now pick a stone and throw it on the water's surface..if you angle it it will jump and create those circles in the water.

People = stones, circles = connections.

Some will touch on more circles = going from one level to a connection to the next. These are the people I go for.

About making the move..there's no right moment for that. I will do it as soon as I feel there is something there. I want to explore it.

Misleading..yes..people I am involved with can see it as such. Which is why I always tell them straight up it's about self-awareness. I am not manipulating them. I will show you my universe but it will be your choice if you want to get lost in it or not. I say this because I completely mold/morph with my partners so I know I have self-awareness not to blame them if it was my choice to go there. I just hope they get this about me.

I am never reserved or I think I don't am. You can see/feel it with me easily. How much you will see and feel will depend on how much you feel me though. It should flow almost subconsciously. I know it's a tall order but I cannot put it into words exactly. I play with all the cards on the table but I get people don't approach life the same way due to past hurt/insecurity/etc so I will have patience because I get their mindset. And I will try not to come on too strong because of that.

Posted by tiziani

Do I look for exclusivity? Never. Either you have it or you don't have it. When you do, you just know.

I make my intentions clearly very early on, but intentions are only that... I don't feel like they entitle me to anything I haven't asked for, nor do I feel like anyone owns me because of them.

^^This for me too, adding to what I stated.

Intentions =/= Expectations

Intention for me = I see something there and I'd like to explore it. Are you on board? The way we'll explore this will fall between the two of us and what dynamic we'll have with each other.

Probably my one and only expectation..and it's because I do it with myself also:

Be genuine.

If you're not, I'll have no way to gauge what we have. Show me the real, raw you.

Posted by tiziani
I think that's asking for too much 😄

Hope dies last? lol

I want to add something to my comment..because it comes across as so heavy with feels lol.

I need and I want the light approach to it also. By that I mean there needs to be humor between us, we need to have the capacity to unwind.

Life is hard enough at some points and it drags on your spirit. I want to go to the hypotethical home, to my hypothetical partner and hypothetically relax. I cannot deal with high strung types all the time. The ability to poke fun at each other and still feel the love in this it's a lost art and I plan to revive it.

Yeah, I ain't settling lol. I see people with huge lists of physical requirements and I go "pffft...you should see my standards". But I give back 1000% so it's only fair 😄

That thing I said about "bring your honest, raw self. vulnerability included" is the hardest to master for my partners.

I feel for them.

But really everything I said will be adapted to the partner so..it's not that bad. I will figure out a way to get my selfish emotional boost though.

I understand it now lol well after reading about 6 times. Tizani that make's sense I've always wondered if people like to validate their relationship status before friends and family by becoming exclusive. I guess it depends on the person and their need of security in relationships? I've always felt like if I'm talking to you, your the only person i'm talking to so therefore I am off limits to any other potential person(s).I always feel obligated to my words and then it becomes a constant rehearsal of following through the blueprint set out. Wow I guess that makes sense but who really sticks out 12 months without that conformation, said person would only have expectations to rely on correct?

Damnata I love your metaphor! To that other part I think I'm one of those card players which makes me reserved, I've often been told I am misleading because of change in opinion and unclear intentions. I never try to beat around the bush, and consider myself fairly honest. Have you ever thrown two stones and they have that same circle?

Posted by tiziani
I actually haven't found that to be the hardest part when it comes to women. The hard part is them wanting to see the raw side of you, but then they don't want you to show all sides of yourself to anyone else. That's unlikely to happen with a Libra since we treat everyone as friends anyway.


So many conversations I've had where she might react by saying "wow I bet people would be surprised to see this side of you"


...actually, everyone already knew. You're just finding out.

So the problem is actually...you reveal that side and by doing that the other person feels special. Problem is, they take that moment and run with it as if they're the only ones entitled to it. I hear you on that, if that's what you're saying.

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
To that other part I think I'm one of those card players which makes me reserved, I've often been told I am misleading because of change in opinion and unclear intentions. I never try to beat around the bush, and consider myself fairly honest. Have you ever thrown two stones and they have that same circle?

I have no problems with that. People have different paces. If your confusion/way to deal with it is genuine, I won't take offense to that. What I find shady if you use that on purpose to keep me at bay. There is a subtle line there.

Yes, I have..a lot of times. I will wait and make a second throw later. I'm in no rush to get anywhere. My Aries Moon needs the patience and I truly need to get that not all people go full in like I do. And because they don't...it's impossible to see how many levels you actually touch with someone so they hold back. I will respect that. I don't want to force any reaction from you if it doesn't come natural for you at that moment.

Posted by tiziani

My point was also that I'm sceptical as to whether women really want men to show their entire hand.

That's on a woman to woman basis.

But it circles back to my argument about this being hard in my partnerships. It doesn't come from me..it comes from them. But I get the mindset yes.

Lol and that's mutual its like I don't get in my feelings if I can find them at all (removes cobwebs)
oh there they are 😄 lol!
That's a nice list you got there 😉 haha
and tizani lol I don't really think anyone knows my different sides only my chipper happy one.

Tiz..

Did you ever date an Aqua Venus? Libras ain't got shit on that placement when it comes to friendships.

It opened up my eyes.

I was dating the Aries for a few months and I knew exactly on what levels I had connected to him. So in a brink of a stupid impulsive moment (and I say this because I never ask for reassurance), I blurted out:

"So do you love me?"
"You're my best friend"
"..."
"It's the highest compliment I could offer you"

Blew my mind.

I guess I could be guilty of that, but I don't do possession they can leave but I did prefer to have them. Oooo I'm an aries moon too you pointed out some key points. Patience, being understanding, but not being able to explore all aspects with this person. You are helping me to work on myself in this moment wow, ever thought about being a psychologist or philosopher?

I haven't really dated much as an adult. Most of my dating was in high school and we'll that just doesn't count.

Like tiz and Damnata said though it just kinda happens. I guess I move kinda quick but it's natural to me. it should be kinda easy to Guage if the other person is where you are (of course I'm a libra, they have to say it first). Maybe the two of you just click after a few dates and it's clear you're gonna give it a run with that person, then I'd say you go exclusive quick. If we're just hanging out, I'll do that with everyone forever.

I agree that my only real expectation is honesty and being genuine. That's really why I stopped trying to date lately. It all seems to forced and phoney.

Philosopher? No, my Virgo Sun would struggle with the financial.

Psychologist? Yes, I'll probably get into that at some point.

Growing up, I was intensely focused on Math. There's a point in Math where you can tell you won't achieve the higher level if you're not brilliant enough. I got to that so I said to myself "Ok I'm going to move from Math to people now..so I went into social studies in highschool and aced psychology. The one that was taught for high school level though"

You need to read on the Moon Signs forum every post you can find on Aries Moons. Also if you look at people on this site who have it..there's a common theme in how they go about life.

Patience is the biggest problem for us because it makes us look for instant gratification.

Posted by LibraSid
I agree that my only real expectation is honesty and being genuine. That's really why I stopped trying to date lately. It all seems to forced and phoney.

And just like that, another Aries Moon is in this topic 😄

Aries Moons don't really do dating.

We just stumble into it. It doesn't enter our mind at the beginning.

"OMG THIS PERSON IS INTERESTING LET ME SPEND TIME WITH THEM AND POKE THEIR MIND" > "I WANT TO DATE THIS FUCKER"

Posted by blisss

Posted by Damnata
Yeah, I ain't settling lol. I see people with huge lists of physical requirements and I go "pffft...you should see my standards". But I give back 1000% so it's only fair 😄

@damnata Don't you ever settle for less! List those requirements! 😄 Have them handy in pamphlet form for the admirers.

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I have pamphlets, books, emails ready. Don't you worry, fellow Aries Moon.

I gotz this.

They all fall under the "Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch'entrate" Dante's Inferno franchise

I even started doing T-shirts:

THE ARIES MOON EXPERIENCE

Posted by blisss

Posted by Damnata
Aries Moons don't really do dating.

We just stumble into it. It doesn't enter our mind at the beginning.

"OMG THIS PERSON IS INTERESTING LET ME SPEND TIME WITH THEM AND POKE THEIR MIND" > "I WANT TO DATE THIS FUCKER"

Is this what happens?....because this sounds very familiar. Side eyeing.

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Yes. It's not the other person going quickly, it's your moon they feel on a subconscious level. Especially with Libra Suns because it's opposite.

I don't count my high school one's either lol! Sid would you say you move fast because the connection feels right and your eager to make the move before anyone else does and you lose out? I agree with that last statement

Damnata ok i will check it out and awesome I say go for it it appears to be a strong suit for you! and lol yes hence the reason for my slow turtle behavior at the moment to dating.

Posted by blisss

Posted by Damnata
Aries Moons don't really do dating.

We just stumble into it. It doesn't enter our mind at the beginning.

"OMG THIS PERSON IS INTERESTING LET ME SPEND TIME WITH THEM AND POKE THEIR MIND" > "I WANT TO DATE THIS FUCKER"

Is this what happens?....because this sounds very familiar. Side eyeing.

click to expand

That's how it's always been for me. Roughly speaking, I think someone is interesting/fun and start hanging out with them. It's usually someone I met in some setting we will see each other with some regularity, school, church, work. We talk, have fun, hang out, and before you know it she's like "So, am I your girlfriend or what"? I had one girl who didn't even ask me that, she just starting introducing herself as my gf since we were together so much. I eventually married that one.

Oh makes sense , why do they go all in full pursuit though? I like my time lol

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
I don't count my high school one's either lol! Sid would you say you move fast because the connection feels right and your eager to make the move before anyone else does and you lose out? I agree with that last statement

Damnata ok i will check it out and awesome I say go for it it appears to be a strong suit for you! and lol yes hence the reason for my slow turtle behavior at the moment to dating.

I say I'm fast because ive never had time for casual or stupid stuff. I wasn't in a rush to get married, I just knew that I would end up there (and will again). So if I met someone and for whatever reason just knew it could never get to that lever I'd kill it. Now that sounds extreme I know, buts it's not like I go on a first date and have a wife checklist or nothing. I've never had a one night stand, though I've had many chances. I'm just a serious person, haha.

Posted by LibraSid
I had one girl who didn't even ask me that, she just starting introducing herself as my gf since we were together so much. I eventually married that one.

bahahaha the Aqua.

Awesome story man. Such a Libra fantasy.

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
Oh makes sense , why do they go all in full pursuit though? I like my time lol

Boy am I going to sound egotistical now.

Aries Moons have a larger than life vibe and a warmth that follows them through life. We draw people near.

Too bad we also draw crazies near. We actually draw people that love stories so a lot of crazy ass people have crazy ass stories.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
Oh makes sense , why do they go all in full pursuit though? I like my time lol

Boy am I going to sound egotistical now.

Aries Moons have a larger than life vibe and a warmth that follows them through life. We draw people near.

Too bad we also draw crazies near. We actually draw people that love stories so a lot of crazy ass people have crazy ass stories.

click to expand

You calling me crazy!?

😱 😡

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Damnata

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
Oh makes sense , why do they go all in full pursuit though? I like my time lol

Boy am I going to sound egotistical now.

Aries Moons have a larger than life vibe and a warmth that follows them through life. We draw people near.

Too bad we also draw crazies near. We actually draw people that love stories so a lot of crazy ass people have crazy ass stories.

You calling me crazy!?

😱 😡

click to expand

Yes.

Deal with it 😄

I agree sid no need to waste time i guess, lol i always have my checklist at hand under the table checking yes or no. Can't be too careful nowadays anything can happen lol.

and haha I've drawn lots of crazies some were genuinely fun experiences though in friendship.
Now I debate if I should give this a go or not, I like my casual reserved side it's what i'm used to.

How long was each of you guys longest relationship? worse relationship/learning experience? what sign?

My work does supports the march of dimes program "blue jeans for babies". Basically, you give a small donation to the charity and you get an extra casual blue jean day at the office. I don't know much about the charity but I love blue jeans and most babies are alright too. So I gave the donation and get to wear my jeans and a blue jeans for babies sticker.

After work yesterday I stopped for coffee at the 7-11. This woman in line saw my sticker and asked what blue jeans for babies was. I began telling her that it was a charity I started to provide blue jeans to babies. Babies are always crawling around and will tear the knees out of cheaper pants, plus who doesn't love the feel of a nice pair of jeans. I told her every baby should have a good pair of blue jeans and I'd see to it they got them! Another lady behind me chuckled and mumbled "that's not what blue jeans for babies is".. I turned and smiled and told her, "I don't follow you around exposing your fake charities, thanks"!

People are fun.

2 long term relationships

3 years Cap, almost 3 years Aries => Learned from both.

I learn from all people though, not only in relationships.

First relationship taught me patience. It also showed me compatibility and connection exist.

Second relationship taught me the value of friendship.

Love them both, always will.

If you ever wandered in my life, you will forever have a corner of my heart for your quarters. You can decorate it, play in it etc. It's based on the beautiful memories we shared...and it doesn't matter if we part peacefully or not. The Cap cheated in the end but no way would that take back the wonderful experiences we had.

Posted by blisss

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
I don't count my high school one's either lol! Sid would you say you move fast because the connection feels right and your eager to make the move before anyone else does and you lose out? I agree with that last statement

Damnata ok i will check it out and awesome I say go for it it appears to be a strong suit for you! and lol yes hence the reason for my slow turtle behavior at the moment to dating.

I say I'm fast because ive never had time for casual or stupid stuff. I wasn't in a rush to get married, I just knew that I would end up there (and will again). So if I met someone and for whatever reason just knew it could never get to that lever I'd kill it. Now that sounds extreme I know, buts it's not like I go on a first date and have a wife checklist or nothing. I've never had a one night stand, though I've had many chances. I'm just a serious person, haha.

what is your mercury in? You don't sound like a Libra, very direct!

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My mercury is libra as well, I have like 5 or 6 libra placements. Mars is scorpio, venus in Leo, something is sagg, moon is aries, most everything else is libra.

You have the fire trine Sid. I lack Leo to achieve that ugh.

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
I agree sid no need to waste time i guess, lol i always have my checklist at hand under the table checking yes or no. Can't be too careful nowadays anything can happen lol.

and haha I've drawn lots of crazies some were genuinely fun experiences though in friendship.
Now I debate if I should give this a go or not, I like my casual reserved side it's what i'm used to.

How long was each of you guys longest relationship? worse relationship/learning experience? what sign?

I was married to an aqua for 8 years, we'd dated before that and knew each other since teenagers.

Awww now I feel like we should do a group hug < 3 😄. By the way that sounded so beautiful I always have the memories but it's just too painful to regurgitate.

venus in aries. and yup for the aries moon. I have mostly fire placements a few other scrambles too.

I have known one gemini man who is persistent but super cool, and lol at that cusp I guess i need to search up this guys placements. and aww sid sounds bliss, hence the kind of relationship i'm shooting for best friends then evolving into more but he isn't as private as I am, or emotionally stale lol!!!

Posted by blisss
A super Libra! ooo you have that Mars. Do you consider Scorpio Mars a good placement? I'll trade you!

I hear people make a fuss about it some times but I don't know enough about astrology to comment on liking a particular placement. I can tell you this though, I'm awesome so the placements must be good.

Posted by blisss

Posted by Damnata
You have the fire trine Sid. I lack Leo to achieve that ugh.

I know someone with two fire trines and we're still trying to figure out what it means, I was reading about it last night. Does he have luck and receive all sorts of free stuff? Yes! I thought he just had good luck.

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I do. I just posted a few days ago that I regularly get free stuff. My gas station coffee is free more often than not. My in laws always joked that I must have a golden horse shoe shoved up my ass because things always work out for me. I think that is a matter of perspective though. I have a very calm exterior even when things go bad so most people never even know I am stressed. Plus, I work hard to fix my problems. So when something bad happens, it straightens out pretty quick and from the outside o don't seem to worried about it. I can see how it would look like luck or being blessed but it is really just not complaining and getting shit done.

Wow that sounds like it can get nasty his is 10/14/90. I love those stories too, and going on a year the beginning of may. We've been good friends through work but I left so now its regular hangouts when I have time.

Now of course I got nothing to do with the free stuff, that one I can't explain. It's great though. I am a giving person, maybe it's karma. I have taken a bum to diner this week, I do volunteer work... Yeah, that's karma, not luck.

Only three months? Duchess are you only to make the first move? or do you prefer they do? If you really like them and they like you would you have the conversation mid way if you see they are struggling about exclusiveness?