Question:Courting (Page 2)

Posted by duchessedenemours
There are benefits to having a short courting period and long.

Personally I think its kind of a waste of time to give someone that much of my time if we aren't exclusive. I don't like dating more than one person a a time because it's just plain confusing and taxing.

And in general if its not clearly stated that its courting with an end game of a relationship its so much more confusing and unpredictable. There would have to be something clearly stated at the beginning otherwise it would be emotionally exhausting to grow so close to someone and constantly question what was happening.

I prefer around 3 months because then you can see if you get along enough and can see a pattern of their history. The whole purpose of an exclusive relationship is to see if you guys work or not. I don't really see why an extra long courtship is necessary.

Agreed.

I kinda always saw the relationship as the courtship. Right? I mean courtship is the old term for getting to know a potential spouse. That's how I sorta view romantic relationships. Not so formal, but yeah. You seem cool, let's hang out / date and see what happens. If you like them it continues, you plan dates and have adventures. At the very beginning I could be weighing options (I know how bad that sounds) but once I start going forward with one person you gotta stop the others. I wouldn't want to be planning dates with several people at once, I wouldn't have any time alone.

Oh I knew I couldn't hide for too long , found me. I guess I should tell him why I avoided him but he makes me mad at sometimes where I get stubborn and just want to be to myself. And well it would be nice to have a potential spouse but people don't date like that rarely anymore it's let's see if you are fit for me. Then after a year or two you have to decided how serious this will be or is it leading to spouse material. Does the perspective change as we age?

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
Oh I knew I couldn't hide for too long , found me. I guess I should tell him why I avoided him but he makes me mad at sometimes where I get stubborn and just want to be to myself. And well it would be nice to have a potential spouse but people don't date like that rarely anymore it's let's see if you are fit for me. Then after a year or two you have to decided how serious this will be or is it leading to spouse material. Does the perspective change as we age?

I've changed a lot as I've aged. Especially these last couple years. The more experience you get the more the rose colored glasses come off. I'm still a romantic idealist at heart but you kinda get more real with it. I can't really explain right now gotta go back to work. But yes, I definitely have changed.

Hummm thats interesting and ok chat later sid.

Wow duchess that's like one of those adorable stanza's and romantic movies. My problem isn't really exclusiveness well yes it is. My mother loves me to death and influences me so I care to do right by her she doesn't want me to engage in it eventhough im past 20 years of age. She wants to see me succeed before I give any relationships any thought. I haven't told him this yet though not sure of the reaction. lol

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
Hummm thats interesting and ok chat later sid.

Wow duchess that's like one of those adorable stanza's and romantic movies. My problem isn't really exclusiveness well yes it is. My mother loves me to death and influences me so I care to do right by her she doesn't want me to engage in it eventhough im past 20 years of age. She wants to see me succeed before I give any relationships any thought. I haven't told him this yet though not sure of the reaction. lol

My inner romantic says that is terrible advice. If you find someone, you can still pursue personal goals while working on a relationship. He'll a good partner would help in some fashion with your goals. I have been a great study buddy with girlfriends before.

The parent and jilted lover in me agrees. Relationships can be a major distraction from your goals. If you're career oriented an unwanted pregnancy in an otherwise happy relationship could be bad. All kinds of stuff. It's definitely easier to focus on a career if you're single. No worries if you gotta work late. Relationships are expensive too and could cause you to ignore options that would require a move.

For me the romantic wins. I say if you have someone you care about, don't let go. The best plans are the ones that allow for adaptation. I am a single dad. I thought a lot recently and have laid out a loose plan for my life. In that plan I stay single because it's easier. I have milestones and goals I want to reach. However, should I meet someone worth it I'd remake some of those plans for sure.

Tiz she is gemini mothers though sigh lol i get what she's saying but I didn't even have to involve her I did so in honor. Sid I think so too i've tried to compromise with her but she won't bug he motivates me with exceling me likewise were the bestest of friends I think. Awww that is so sweet I hope you meet a lovely lady for a soul so awesome as yours.
Duchess thank you now I must find how I will tell him or maybe I should have a second talk with my mom..She's sincere and means no wrong but she lacks trust and confidence in me and my emotions so to speak.

Posted by blisss

Posted by LibraSid
Now of course I got nothing to do with the free stuff, that one I can't explain. It's great though. I am a giving person, maybe it's karma. I have taken a bum to diner this week, I do volunteer work... Yeah, that's karma, not luck.

It sounds like you have good fortune and good karma. That was extremely nice of you!

i do wonder if Astrology has anything to do with a lot of things. I haven't seen anyone other than my friend receive so many freebies(since his youth)it leaves me wondering. He's a great guy but he's a bit unappreciative of the good luck now, so in his case is it karma? I don't think so because he doesn't return the good deeds like you do, and is a bit selfish. Just good luck I suppose, I've already warned him it runs out though if you're not thankful.

click to expand

Oh I'm far from a saint. I'm a selfish asshole too, I just do nice stuff sometimes too. I'm a libra I gotta balance it out haha.

Humm i learn something new everyday, I never studied her sign much i just know shes back and forth and strict.

Posted by blisss
@librasid
well at least you're honest. lol

To a fault. I'll tell the truth even (sometimes especially) when I know you won't like the answer. Brutal honesty, it has been called.