Scorp female involved w/ Libra- (ignoring me)

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Scorplady25
@Scorplady25
11 Years

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Hi board! im new to posting here my first time and can really use some insight on a Libra perspective - well here it goes! I really will try not to rant..

Im a Scorpio Female 25 (libra/scorp cusp oct25)
libra rising, scorp sun, taura moon, venus-virgo

Recently involved with oct1 libra male 25

The Background:

We met through an online site in May and linked up for drinks and dinner almost immediately, had a great conversation and i really admired his intellect - big turned on plus he made me laugh/smile so much. From then on he pursued me heavily, txting, calling, video chatting ect. He was new to the area and was staying with friends which wasnt working well, a week after meeting him he flew back home on the east coast and then decided to move back to the west coast but to a different city (8hrs away) communication slowed down wit all that he was going through (and when i mentioned it to him would start showering me again with lots of attention) but he still came up twice to see me once driving, another time calling me in the middle of the night saying how much he needed to see me and was on a train 30mins later.

- I also was the one who initiated sex between us , I hadnt been intimate since breaking things off with my ex in January but he wanted to wait (eventhough he told me had two one night stands , and then stopped talking to the girls)

My trip to see him:
I kept my word and told him i would come see him so i flew out to see him about a couple weeks ago , he has been going through a stressful time I can see with moving and finances eventhough he will not admit this to me (financial situation) I spend a few days with him and his bestfriend who roommating and met some other of his friends and was surprised that they knew all about me! I brang him a couple gifts a planner/organizer and audiobook. He always tells me how much of a positive person I am thats why he likes being around me, and also how he sees how men stare me down whenever were together. we had good sex ( could of been better I have an extremely high sex drive and hes the only guy im sexing) But one thing he tells me is I just cant fall in love with him like he knows he will mess it up. He also told me before that he doesnt cheat but just isnt good in relationships like he feels he falls short.

I got to experience his rather moody side ( not directed towards me) during trip.


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Scorplady25
@Scorplady25
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 11 · Topics: 1
Current Situation:
Im being Ignored- FLAT OUT

6days agi we were texting eachother casually and I sent a pic of an outfit i was trying on in the store, he responded with hmmm looks ok , I told him he hadnt the slightest idea- just figured he wasnt really into fashion and to ask his besty (he had told me he was wit his besty at the movies ) his besty txt back frm his phone saying i look good as always which i didnt expect. I told them both thanks and didnt here from him the rest of the day. NO big deal I thought..

The Next day I went to pick up a tv he told me he had got me just to pick it up from the fedex.. when i got there to pick it up there was no tv.. I was confused and felt he made it up but why? why would you keep telling me to pick it up if u really didnt get it? so i text him and told him about it and no response..

I also sent my account info the day prior because he told me he wanted to give me some $ $ back for the $ $ i spent coming out there and while out there.. I really didnt mind spending the $ $ tho or else i would of never came . but hasnt put anything in it?

Right now hes back on the east coast "handling business" communication seems to slow down when hes out there but this time no texts back, no calls, video chat, and also use to like all my INSTAGRAM photos but hasnt -and he has been on.

My first thought was hes ignoring because he doesnt want to face up to lying to me, although i caught him in lil ones before "over exaggerating" ect. which i really didnt care. But this time its like wow seriously i didnt ask for a tv why would you fabricate getting me one.

Sorry guys!! I guess im super over thinking today and trying to figure out if he contacts me what do i say do i even want to still talk to him after seriously flat out ignoring me for 6days straight! I haven talked to his bestfriend tho and pretty sure he doesnt even know hes ignoring me. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt because the stress he says hes going through but now im starting to feel quite disrespected!

Outcome:
I was waiting for him to get the nerves to call me and charm me back in, which I figured would be this weekend when he gets back to the east coast! But now Im wondering if I should give him a call and see if everythings ok with him.. pretty sure he isnt going to answer though.. hmm not really sure what the problem is I was letting him have his space and have been doing me, but now wondering to I just ignore him when he tries to cont
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Draumstafir
@Draumstafir
12 Years500+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 1 · Posts: 846 · Topics: 52
Warning, I am full of TMI, and DO enjoy giving every detail. 😄 Potentially useful, potentially annoying; at your discretion. Ensuing, long response:

Wow, that is A LOT of traveling! First thing that speaks of to me is Gemini. Curiosity got the better of me and I did a guestimate chart, using New York as reference (you said "home" is on the East Coast)... and if New York is relatively close enough time-zone-wise, he would indeed have a Gemini Moon.

(12:00am)
(12:00pm)
(11:59pm)
Oct. 1, 1988

Ignore most everything you see there as far as houses and degrees, as they change too much throughout the day, and the location is not exact. But the Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, and Mercury all remain the same in these charts. So we can guess, theoretically, that that's what his are. And they're important parts of a chart.

Libran basics:

Libras are definitely, most definitely, full of charm and words and constant connection/chatting for those they're attracted to. 😉

Libras often complain of feeling like they'll fall short in a relationship. Sometimes it's because they're actually feeling this way (many short relationships until they find The One). Sometimes it's because they're playing devil's advocate— putting an opposite-feeling idea out there to see how you'll react. And you'll rarely be able to tell the difference! (not that it really matters, the results are the same on your end) The latter is often an innocent desire for a sounding board. You'll get this a lot from him. You, yourself, probably do this a lot too, with Libra Rising. (You might not notice it.) He's probably even attracted to your Rising, which matches his Sun, in an I can relate with her sort of way.

Libras also often have that "rather moody side" while seesawing between all the different sides of situations they like to investigate. The eternal balancer... is rarely, himself, balanced. They usually keep it to themselves, at home, and with those they can trust.

Gemini is incredibly talkative. Of course his roommates knew all about you! 😄
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Draumstafir
@Draumstafir
12 Years500+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 1 · Posts: 846 · Topics: 52
He spends a lot on you, lavishly. Even when low on funds. That makes sense for a Leo Venus. Without enough fundage he cannot, in his mind, properly flirt. He cannot properly express his loves/desires/attractions (depending on the level in his relationships). This will be amplified for him because Venus is the ruler of Libra, his Sun. In these charts his Mercury is ALSO in Libra, whose ruler is Venus in Leo. So he'll definitely want to flaunt it, and spend on you, if he likes you.

Low fundage would be a blow to his pride. Blows to pride cause stress. Stress causes moody moments. And you even called him on it. Alas.

Libras, though there are exceptions, tend to have rather fine taste in fashion. You assumed he didn't, which could have been another blow to his ego. Remember how he picked up on (and felt pride in) the fact that other guys "stare you down when you're together". Libra puts a whole ton of effort into imagery and is very concerned with it.

But maybe he just wasn't in the mood (all depressed and such). And then you said to ask his friend. Leos, while not necessarily possessive, can definitely be jealous... especially when it involves another of their gender.

What's left? Aries Mars. Aries, whose traditional home is the 1st House (aka Ascendant), is closest to Self and closest to Ego. Aries has a huge ego! I am not saying this positively or negatively. It just 'is'. Aries make fantastic leaders, in that they can push aside all obstacles to get to their goal, and whoever has tagged along for the ride is welcome to share in the spoils. They do their things with gusto and with pride and some determination. It's not the steadfast determination of Taurus, Scorpio, or Capricorn. It's Ima-Pounce-You-Now and it can really get things done swiftly! It's not particularly patient and can even be rather messy. Aries is at home in Mars, its traditional ruler. So it is very comfortably expressed there. But he has major blows to his ego right now and Aries cannot handle blows to its ego. Aries IS its ego. This is Aries' Source of Self.
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Draumstafir
@Draumstafir
12 Years500+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 1 · Posts: 846 · Topics: 52
But the good news; Aries recovers quickly. Knock Aries down and it gets right back up. You know, until it's unconscious or something, in which case the aggressor better run when he wakes up. Aries is a fighter. A warrior. This probably clashes, often, with his diplomatic, politically-correct Libran side. His brooding, moody moments may even be laced with destruction of inanimate objects. Most Aries Mars are kind enough to keep it to punching bags and walls. But it's oh-so-icky to the Libran image he'd like to maintain. He won't be quick to show it or speak of it.

Summarizing, he's Libra Sun and very likely Gemini Moon; double-Air. A real butterfly! Flitting around, here and there, attracted to this, attracted to that, but don't try to 'net' him because life's not so fun in a jar. You're Scorpio Sun, and Scorpio can be possessive at times. Scorpio often displays possessiveness without ever intending to, and doesn't even notice itself as doing so. But it can be 'scary' to the Air-types and Fire-types, who pick up on it with alarm. The good news: Libra and Gemini both like to chat up a storm and are quite logical, so if you ever get into a conversation with him about this, you can logically sort everything out. Logic doesn't fully understand emotions, and emotions don't fully understand logic, but just the fact of talking things through can usually reach some sort of mutual understanding.

The idea of talking everything through (when balanced enough to do so) is probably Libra's greatest asset when it comes to his relationships.
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Draumstafir
@Draumstafir
12 Years500+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 1 · Posts: 846 · Topics: 52
You're also Virgo Venus. Virgo likes to shows its love and affection through 'helping' in small ways. Here, there, everywhere, Virgo will 'fix things' and lend a hand and basically be... clingwrap. And I say this with understanding, as I have Virgo Moon, Descendent, Vertex, and Ceres. I am, at my heart, a Virgo; with all the pros and cons this entails. Virgo is critical. Virgo is discerning. Virgo can come off as controlling and picky. It's just your way of showing affection, really. You're gonna notice ALL the little details, even the ones he's trying to hide. And you're subconsciously picking through them; separating the chaff from the wheat. You're gonna want to call him on it too. I'm not going to suggest 'not' calling him on it. Most non-Virgo's would, but it's just so inherent that I know 'holding back' will probably bottle things up for you, and be stressful. Here's a solution which has worked for me, often: when you notice a 'little detail' which automatically puts you in defense-mode (Scorpio Sun), think FIRST to what it might mean. Such as the TV. He could have possibly wanted to flaunt it (Leo) but not had the fundage... the order could have been cancelled without his consent, or he could have had to cancel it in order to pay some impending bill... hard to tell. Either way he wanted to spend at one point but then didn't, with or without his consent. He may have been turned off by anything to do with possessiveness or nit-picking. If he hadn't been before, he could be becoming so now. I know it's so hard for Scorp Sun (and even Taurus Moon) to sit back and focus on something else, but it's what you gotta do for now. If you MUST reach out, keep it to once a day (or less), and keep it light.

You could even send a short joke. Something unrelated. Something to give him a giggle fit, coming from you.

It's after you've gotten closer and seen all his embarrassing sides that he'd be less likely to pull away from you when feeling moody. But until then, you gotta burn the net, or like a butterfly, vamoose.
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Scorplady25
@Scorplady25
11 Years

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Thank you so much for responding to my post and with so much detail!! I soooo appreciate it!

So After writing this post I text him to ask if everything was okay and sent him a positive note (pic msg) that was my first time trying to contact him after bringing up tv not being there. This Morning I decided to give him a Call and when he didn't answer I gave his best friend a call. (me and his best friend have been txting throughout the week talking about a project we would like to work on, I never mentioned to the friend that I haven't been in contact with him.) In talking to his friend he mentioned he hasnt really talked to him since the weekend and that he thinks hes having trouble getting back to the west coast (financial problems) and that hes probably being real "dramatic" and its irritating that he hasn't heard from him. So my guess now is that with his finances being really screwy hes just going through a stressful time and not wanting to speak to anyone really.

YES! the venus in Virgo that is me wanting to help in smalls way anywhere i can and also seeing every little detail of things and trying to not put my guard up when I do!!

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GeminiSparkle
@GeminiSparkle
11 Years

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You shouldn't be giving him any money, especially if you have only known him a short time, as you can see he is lying to you, he doesn't want to pay you back and the tv is non existent. I'm not sure why you want to keep this friendship up? I'm sure he's got other girls on the east coast that are also going to fedex to find their tv's too.

This might help: Every time you want to get intouch with him, think of him laughing at you. "Haha she went looking for that money" "Haha she really thought I sent her a tv". Do this for every thing, when he texts and asks you for money next or says he just needs a holiday (which I'm sure will come next) don't buy into it, no sex is THAT good. Just picture him laughing at you.

Lastly, if a guy says "don't fall in love with me" or "I'm not good in relationships," believe him - this is the only point in which he is actually being honest with you in your whole relationship. There are guys out there that won't lie to you, or send you on a wild goose chase or ignore your messages, go find one of them, you deserve to.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Posted by Scorplady25
New to this board yes

and I gave him account info because he said he wanted to reimburse for some of the expenses going to see him , the reason I had him ask his friend is because hes a photographer and I had showed him the outfit i wanted to recreate ( a kim k outfit) while visiting.

Thanks for your opininon!



WHOOOOSH

The sound of everything flying over your head.

As someone else mentioned, you need to get over yourself.
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Scorplady25
@Scorplady25
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 11 · Topics: 1
Hi again, I NEVER gave him any money at all.. He felt bad he wasn't able "spend" on me as he wanted to - usually pays for outings and such but wasn't able to.. he didnt feel right me spending i.e i offered to take him and his friend to breakfast .. he said he wanted to give me something back for having to spend money.. I didnt mind spending as I have a pretty healthy income.

thanks for all the open honest opinions Geminisparkle and Tiziani

and your right I pretty much decided to get back involved with my work and goals because he seems like it will be a rollercoaster ride with him anyways.. still havent spoke to him
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Draumstafir
@Draumstafir
12 Years500+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 1 · Posts: 846 · Topics: 52
Posted by Scorplady25


...In talking to his friend he mentioned he hasnt really talked to him since the weekend and that he thinks hes having trouble getting back to the west coast (financial problems) and that hes probably being real "dramatic"...



Leo ✨

Posted by Scorplady25
I actually don't mind the distance between us I think its the "not knowing" part that makes me uncomfortable after being with and living with 2 Pisces exes. This Libra is like a breath of Fresh air!! lol



Attractive, right? 🙂

Posted by Scorplady25
Also everything you described about him makes perfect sense especially the moon in Gemini, always talking always stopping to talk to people always interested in something! Hoping he gets over this phase soon.



Sorry... not a phase. Integral to him. You gotta love it, if you want to love him.

Posted by tiziani
Sounds like you both had an honest relationship - ugly and painful type of honest. Which I like.


But yeah that was up until the point of the best friend incident. That would turn me ice cold.


I suspect him suggesting that he reimburse you for coming out to see him was an indirect way of saying he wants no further attachment. I'm just speculating. It's something I've done in the past.


Love Scorps, big fan of them. But don't go calling him this weekend. I know you Scorps love initiative and black-and-white but know the limits.


Posted by tiziani
Oh and the planner/organizer gift was a very sweet touch. That would win me over.



Tizi!!! Been awhile!

This guy = EXPERT

Posted by LivingOnPorpoise
Healthy income eh? 😄
click to expand




LoL I KNOW!! Jealous all the way.

*continues chowing on $ 1 rice meal* (and yes it's healthy rice... with A1 sauce...)