Understanding my libra behaviour

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sadcappy31
@sadcappy31
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8 · Topics: 1
really would appreciate any advice i could get...i'm a cappy male of 31 and i've known my lbra for more than 7 years now, we've been very good friends from the beginning since we were office coleagues up to 2010. She was in an unhappy relationship for 5 years up to the middle of 2011 when she broke up with her (also a libra) bf. What happend is that after her break-up we became even more close to each other having some intense "private" flings...After a while my soul became more and more attached to hers and ...well last autumm i went all out and told her how i feel also dropping the big L on her. Well she didn't took it too well telling me she saw me as just being a friend (at some point i know i was her best friend bcz of some pretty explicit gifts i got from her on different occasions but that was a couple yrs ago) and she left me by myself...no contact and everything. After 2 months or so of nc during the winter holidays we had a long discussion about all of this and she told me that maybe thats how its supposed to be (not being together) and maybe that's our destiny... Well after that final discussion i realised that it wouldn't be really smart to be clingy about that (even though inside all i wanted is to be like that) bcs i felt that would scare her...so basically what i did these last two months is just be there for her for whatever she needed...mostly work stuff bcs from december we work together couple of days a week in a different place...Of course since that last talk bf christmas i never made any hint or lead any allusion to my issues about her...i don't know if i should continue with this behaviour (being supportive no matter what and don't hint at anything else) or should i just walk away slowly from her and go to total ignorance state...the thing is since we had our first discussion 5 months ago she went into this ignorance and indifference state which kinda broke me...i have no idea how to go bout this in the future. Interesting fact is even in our more intense discussions about our feelings we kept it really civilised and friendly even though the general mood was sad... i know some of the personality patterns provided by the zodiac and most of them fit in pretty well (for both of us actually)but i'm not really good at reading too much into them. What would be the best way to go bout this in the future?
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sadcappy31
@sadcappy31
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8 · Topics: 1
That is correct, never had a real date...more like looong teasings at the office while our private lifes were elsewhere. There were some physical contacts after her break-up but nothing too serious and yes no declaration of love from her...the whole "implying" game we had in the last yr and a half got me really confused about what she wants...i would really want to take it slow with her and become serious but she's off now for bout 5 months....all our talk now is work related since we only meet at the office. It's even more complicated now bcz i suffered a bit the last few months and i have no clue how i would react if she made a step....but deep down i know i want to be with her...I have no clue we're i'm at with her...
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libra22
@libra22
12 Years500+ PostsLibra

Comments: 25 · Posts: 712 · Topics: 11
Hello Capricorn, 🙂

I had the same situation with a friend of mine. I dont really remember what sign he is, but I was put in the same situation as your Libra. I sat with him together in college, we were laughing like kids, he was very sweet friend, always making me smile, and he was always helping me with the subjects in my MBA program. I knew he had feelings for me, even the fact I was pretending nothing was going on. One night he confessed that he likes me and he would do anything just to be with him. I cried because he was a good guy and I didnt want him to feel that way towards me. I didnt see him as a potential boyfriend. I told him I dont see him the way he does, and I distanced myself just like your Libra did. All the time he would call me id keep the talks as professional as possible. I missed him a lot btw... I still do... He was my bestie, but he stills sees me as ... idk what, really. Several days ago he told me he is dating some chick, and i feeled relieved, and now when he gives me no attention as previously, i started questioning myself about him. maybe thats what u should do also... Distance yourself from her, look at other girls, and see what happens.

Hope I was of a help.
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sadcappy31
@sadcappy31
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8 · Topics: 1
You're probably right, but my soul keeps dragging me back into thinking bout it...while she had her break-up i was going through a similar one with an ex taurus...afterwards both being single, the closeness we had made sense for me (more like unofficial dating), but it's probably what i should do. It's true i have some dating opportunities in this period...but thinking of her and meeting @work makes it difficult to let go somehow and also i was thinking that going out with someone else would push her into doing something about... feels more like emotional blackmail which i don't wanna do...maybe i should go politely stone-cold and go out but in my mind that would have to mean that if she does smth about it i'm allready clear that i'm not going there anymore, don't know if i'm feeling that yet...
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TaurusNikki
@TaurusNikki
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 1534 · Topics: 3
Posted by Leeeebra
Sorry to hear your situation... to me, it seems like there aren't any option left, you need to find out, and move on. either with her, or without her. How to find out? I would like to tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes. I would give her a chance to miss me. You were always there, always available, for years and years. She has it in her mind what it means to lose you, she has never experienced it. she need to experience it to find out how she truly feels about you, and you need to find out too, so you can move on. I would find a time to have a heartfelt talk with her, or if you are shy, write it in a letter to her, in which I would ask her to just listen, not saying anything, then I would tell her how exactly I feel about her, open to the core of me. Then I would tell her I know you told me you see me as a friend, I respect your decision, but I need to let you know how I feel, I need to do this for me. I love you, but I need to love myself now, respect myself as a man, if you miss me, love me, call me or see me, then I will know you are mine. After this openness I would leave. I mean disappear in her life. If I have a Facebook I would say "needing to take some time off", and never up date it anymore. I would stop any activity where she can see me, if I have vacation time I would take time off, if I don't then I would find a way to have someone else contact her for work, the only way she can reach me, see me, hear about me is via phone call or come to see me as I told her, if by chance she does contact me I will only ask her one question "are you mine?", and if she said "don't do this blah blah" I would hang up, I would go back to silence. If she calls you again and you ask the same question and she remain silent, then what are you waiting for, hang up, drive to her house and kiss the living day light out of her. If she never contacts you, then you know what that means too. Give yourself a reasonable time frame, beyond that then move on. There is a very high chance you will find out how she feels about you, either way, it's healthy for you to know. While you wait, don't block her unfriend her or anything that gives her a mental strong hold to push you away, only give her pure love, and silence. Do this for yourself too, you truly need to love yourself and move forward with your life.

It is not easy to love a Libra. Good luck and my best wishes.