what is going on here??

OK so I'm gonna try to summarize the main points as much as possible.

I wrote a post about a libra guy I started seeing a few weeks ago. So now he moved near to where I live and I saw him when he just got here and we hung out for a couple hours and it was awesome. Then he had to go to an event out of town for the night so we barely talked, but he messaged me a bit telling me how much he missed me and asked if i could spend the night with him (no sex because we talked about it) so i didnt answer right away. the next day, sunday he hadnt messaged me all day and i msgd him to see how he was. we talked here and there. So monday he msgd and asked if he was seeing me later. When he picked me up he was TOTALLY different. his mood, his demeanor everything. I got a little nervous because i had never seen him like that before. we get to his place and there is silence between us (i felt irritated over a little issue and i was gauging his mood) so we're there for awhile and started watching tv and after a while we got into some semblance of "normalness". the mood improved and i ended up staying the night and sleeping with him. The next morning his mood seemed to still be a little distant so i took his cue and acted a little distant too. He dropped me home, distant but gentlemanly. all day we didnt speak, he had work and he msgd me in the evening asking how my day went. Here and there messaging, and i was wondering what was up with his mood. The next day he messages me like normal but the distance was still there so i said "i know we said we're just dating, but i've been a little emotional since we slept together and you've been acting distant" he said "i've been wondering the same thing, that u've been distant" that led off into a conversation about us sleeping together and how i felt, and he said it meant alot to him and he didnt want to bring it up to make it seem like tht was all that mattered. He also asked if i regretted it, and if i want to hold off on the sex for awhile until i'm more confortable. I thought pretty sweet. couple hours later he asked if i wanted to hang out. so he picks me up and he's in the same mood as before. very serious, very sad, just overall not the person i knew from the beginning. so i asked he said he was fine. got to his place, and he went to take a shower, when he got back, his mood had improved and he was back to his old self. he was stroking my hair, and my hand, and i was rubbing his leg.

we spent the entire night cuddling up listening to 80s music. He held my hand, rubbed my leg, lay on my tummy, cuddled me, while i rubbed his back and stroked his hair. He seemed very content and happy. the look in his eyes made me feel so good. He didnt try to get sexual with me at all. we kissed a few times, but that was it. then we fell asleep togethr until i told him i was ready to go home. Now before that, i am extremely sensitive to body language but sometimes i can overread stuff, but while we were dozing, his foot jerked on mine and i couldnt help but think he wanted me to leave. so i started getting a bad vibe (i've had a few already) so while we were driving home (call me impulsive) but i said J, i really like you (at which point he reached for my hand) but then i said, no dont hold my hand because of what i'm about to say. i told him that i felt like discontinuing what we had because i keep having an unexplained feeling that hits me in waves when i'm with and not with him. and that i cant handle the pressure because when you really like someone and it's good, i shouldnt feel so unhappy. that he says and does the perfect thing, but somehow there is a feeling i cant shake. so we talked about it for a bit. he got really silent and then after a while said he doesnt think i should discontinue just because i have an unexplained feeling. he said other stuff but what jumps out is that even in my apparent rejection he drove slowly to prolong our conversation, and he asked me to think about it. then after i got home he messaged me again asking me to think about it and said he really likes me alot.

well today i decided maybe it's my own fears and lemme just jump and give him a chance, so i told him this. well after he got home from work he msgd me saying that he was going out but didnt ask if i wanted to come. so i asked if we were under wraps then and he proceeded to tell me at that point that he was having doubts as to whether HE was good for me, and that he doesnt want to be selfish so he's thinking if he can offer me what i need. i thought that seemed like a total cop out for not asking me out. and my thoughts were he's hiding us? cuz we've been out 2 times,our first dates but the rest of the times were back at his place. and he's never asked me to go anywhere and i thought tonight he can go out with his friends but not invite me out??

@Lissanth: he is mirroring back your behavior...and as far as u pushed it...it will be very difficult to bring it back...even if u will step back, there is nothing to wait for coz u asked space...it's complicated...the more u will try to explain him what triggered this up, the less her will understand and u will only prove him you have drama written all over...I really don't know other solution but to ask him out and tell him to draw the line in the sand and start over...it might work...but don't discuss any of the former issues again.

Posted by Nefer
I know with that Airy Libra way of needing space, and needing things to stay FUN and stimulating.. needing space.. even disappearing at times or pulling back to reevaluate thing... you'd think they WOULDN'T need reassurance.. you MIGHT think they don't feel much of anything at all.

But actually, they do. Most Libras are rather insecure and unsure under their cocky, confident, devil-may-care attitude. They want to do the RIGHT things, they HATE being wrong, making mistakes, making the wrong choice... they need feedback (reassurance) from their partner that they are still the one lighting your fire, that they are doing the RIGHT things.. cuz if Libra thinks you'd be better off without him.. he'll leave you.. FOR you.. as backwards as that sounds. When a girl starts acting, showing, saying that he's not "doing it" for her (anymore?)... or perhaps isn't showing him and reassuring him that he IS... he begins "mirroring" it back.. if YOU become unsure about your relationship with Libra and start holding back out of fear or mistrust.. HE WILL TOO.. while he's thinking, always thinking.. reevaluating.. because if he's not GOOD for you, if he's not BEST for you (in HIS mind).. he won't stay. Leaving you LOOKS like selfishness because you're hurt.. but really, it's STILL Libra being a partner-pleaser, wanting to do what's RIGHT, what appears to be BEST, no matter what FEELINGS are involved, his OR yours.

Also, please DATE men.. out in public... if he asks you to "come over and watch movies" in lieu of an actual DATE, simply say sweetly, "I'd love to spend time with you, but don't feel comfortable with "dates" like that so soon. Actual DATES feel much better to me. What do you think?".... cuz it's not DATING when you guys "hole up" indoors, all "private and intimate" MUCH too soon... and clearly can trigger feelings of insecurity and doubts about his sincerity, making one feel like they're being "hidden" or something. That doesn't FEEL GOOD. Then your insecurities and negative feelings ball up inside you and grow until they almost have a life of their own.. then when you FINALLY blurt out how BAD it all feels.. it's in an over-emotional spewing that looks like drama and makes a guy take a step back.

And esp with a Libra, if you SAY, "i felt like discontinuing what we had because i keep having an unexplained feeling that hits me in waves when i'm with and not with him. and that i cant handle the pressure because when you really like someone and it's good, i shouldnt feel so unhappy. "... ESP when deep, deep down, you're feeling insecure and unsure, and you're looking for some sort of reassurance, for HIM to make your feelings better.. trust me, a Libra man WILL think about what you said.. THINK about it, over and over.. and then realize that YOU aren't happy (already? Two dates in?? OMG How can I EVER make this woman happy?!!?).. and that HE is causing/triggering your unhappiness.. and he will bail. He'll GIVE you what you're asking for.. most men would do this.. but Leebs especially. And if you REALLY weren't asking for that.. if you REALLY just wanted some kind of reassurance or security with him when you hinted that you maybe didn't want to continue with him... it REALLY sucks when he took you literally AND let it guide him into deciding you're better off without him.

As a side note.. I've dated THREE Libras seriously.. and EVERY SINGLE TIME I did something like this.. expressed my doubts and unhappiness cuz I held in all my negative feelings and fears until they SPEWED out.. he listened.. reassured me.. and within TWO WEEKS.. decided I was better off without him. Don't let a Libra's "mirroring" take YOUR fears and insecurities and make them HIS and reflect back on YOU.

And no, I'm NOT saying to hold back or pretend everything's fine.. just the opposite.. you ALREADY held back your insecurities and true feelings, let them fester. Learn to feel and express your emotions in a constructive NON-BLAMING way as they happen.. and learn what feelings/fears are YOUR SHIT to deal with, and which ones have to do with or should be shared with HIM... YOUR emotions are YOURS to deal with.. NOT HIS job.

Thank you everybody for all you have said. I really appreciate it!

OK sooo what do you get from a libra male that you have ignored and obviously something is wrong, and he comes back messaging like normal like everything is all great??

Sometimes yes, he might come back...but it might be tooooo late!

Qlibramale ---we weren't in a relationship. Just dating, but as a gemini, i've seen my flightiness and inconsistency at an all time high with this guy. And i've tried to end it a few times but he keeps coming back, trying to convince me to give us a chance. So is that typical behavior for a libra who is not yet emotionally invested?