12 Red Flags to spot when dating....

Something to ponder if you are bored 😉


Chronic Lateness

For clarity, "chronic" here means "three dates in a row." If your date arrives more than 10 minutes late each time, don't wait for his fourth arrival. No doubt your date will have wonderful excuses, and one or two may even be sound. But three in a row is a pattern, and what the pattern says is, "I don't want to get into this." So neither do you.

Ketchup on Eggs

If one of those first dates is brunch, and your new friend reaches for the ketchup to put on his eggs, red flag! I realize this may seem arbitrary or fussy. Or perhaps you think I'm making a class judgment here. Well, maybe I am! What's wrong with that? All I know is nothing good ever comes of ketchup on eggs. And it's really gross.

Rudeness to Waiters

And taxi drivers, and anyone else in a service job. I shouldn't even have to explain why this is a deal breaker. Just remember that it is.

Scary Divorce Stories

It's amazing how much a new prospect will tell you about his life on a first or second date -- much more than he knows he's saying. The question is: Do you hear it? If he launches into the story of his messy divorce, is his ex the villain in every respect? To me, that's a red flag right there. Anyone who's emotionally grounded should be able to see that two people, not one, contribute to a divorce.

A Deep Attachment to Disturbing Pets

A golden retriever is fine, and cats are all right if they don't do much. But I'm still haunted by the memory of an ancient, hairless dachshund that would manage to jump up on the bed during inopportune moments and bay. Not until the dog owner chose to disengage herself from me and comfort the dog instead did I know that this was trouble.

Fling-o-Matics

During a first, incredibly romantic lunch with a new prospect some time ago, I mentioned that my most recent relationship had ended after a year. "A year," my new friend marveled. "That's so impressive! All of my relationships end after three months." Of course I resolved to be the exception. Over the next weeks, which happened to include Christmas and New Year's, we had an amazing time, both in New York City, where she had a charming Hell's Kitchen walk-up, and at my house in the Hamptons. One Sunday, after I'd put her on the train home, I came back to find the most tenderly romantic note on my pillow, something about soul mates joined. The next week, for no outward cause, she called to break up with me. No argument, no terrible time, just end of story. Only later did I realize it was week 12. Lesson: When a woman over 35 tells you all her relationships have ended after a few months, red flag.

Demon Children

Children with an issue or two? Maybe. Children who hate you? Watch out. Hopelessly spoiled or angry children? Head for the door.

Money Matters

Money stirs up many issues, conscious and unconscious, far more than any article can cover. For now, let's just list two red flags you can spot early on. One: If a man suggests splitting the tab on a first date, the woman should pay -- then bolt. I don't say this is fair, especially if, for instance, the woman is a CEO and the man is a freelance writer. But it's the way it is, and any man who tries to worm out for the sake of saving a few bucks is a creep to be ditched. For men, an early red flag about money may not start waving until the third or fourth date. A lot of women begin life as daddy's girls -- a few stay that way. They feel men should provide them with the life style to which they've grown accustomed to with other men who did just that. If you're a sugar daddy yourself, have fun. If not, back off. Over time you'll only be despised -- and dropped.

The Parent Trap

Powerful emotions about one's parents -- positive or death. One 50-year-old man I know has dated every single woman in New York and found, to his ba

Cards lost so sad I may jump of the Eads Bridge.