Cohabitations, "Shack Ups," Living Together but not Married, etc., do they work out in the end?

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Effortless
@Effortless
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Posted by Ellygant

I moved in with one of my exes before getting engaged or married. He proposed after living together for 2 years and dating for 4. We broke up and never got married. It didn’t have anything to do with living together. We just couldn’t give each other what we really needed even though we loved each other a lot.

I probably would not live with someone again before engagement or maybe even marriage tho. I would always keep my own place. Not ro force a commitment. But because it was extraordinarily painful for me to leave our home together and start over when I thought I had my permanent home. We even had a fair and amiable breakup (despite the heartache), no financial arguing or pettiness. But it was still so difficult to blend my life and then leave.

Granted anyone could get divorced and have to do it anyways. But unless things were extremely serious I would not put myself st that risk again personally.


Thank you for sharing, and I am sorry this happened to you. Sounds really painful and ugly.

I know this girl who was sharing an apartment with this dude, and when the lease came up for renewal...

She had to decide if she was going to keep him as a boyfriend, or not renew the lease and move out.

Her life was literally beholden to a year-by-year contract for an apartment lease, and her commitment to the relationship was equally beholden.

Sounds to me like her relationship was on an annual contract for renewal each summer.

Not the way I would want to live, that is for certain.

In terms of what happened, did you have to sell a house or sell any joint property?

I have heard the worst case situations usually involve the merging of bank accounts, and untangling that and paying joint bills no further can be ugly.

Again, I am sorry for what happened to you.
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LIMM
@LostinmyMind11
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Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by LostinmyMind11

I lived with and bought a house and sold the house (we moved) with my boyfriend of 10 years. Circumstances beyond my control happened or we would still probably be living together and still not married lol. (I was never big on the marriage deal).

Now?...I would live with someone else and not be married but I'd keep my apt on the side. Safety net lol.


10 years? Are you old enough for that? :p
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Unfortunately I am sir .. unfortunately I am ...
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PhoenixRising
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Posted by Effortless

Would you do it?



Depends on the end game. If we are just playing house, hard pass. If we are building a house, then I'm open to it.

Posted by Effortless

With cohabitations and other forms of shack-ups on the rise, do these arrangements last?

Do people stay together for long periods of time this way?

Does it usually lead to divorce if the people actually get married following the process?
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I've seen some last the long haul and I've seen some end. The ones that endured were the ones that decided to move in together with a particular objective in mind and they achieve that objective. The ones that just did it "because I want to be closer to you" or "well most of your stuff is at my house anyway..." are now looking to share their space with an animal of some kind.
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Effortless
@Effortless
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Posted by Black-Mamba

I think it's practical and smart

Does anybody want to buy a house with me


I wouldn't tie up my finances in a house with another person unless we are legally married.

Think about it.

You are, by law, contractually obligated to pay that mortgage for the next 30 years with that person (like it or not).

With a marriage, at least you get the tax breaks and the diminished likelihood they will run out on you over an argument (which is what angry couples do all the time these days).