Compulsive white lier...

What's the deal with that, and what to do with them—?

Just stupid shit... "I'm on my way to the barn"... even my son says "that means you just woke him up". Just be up front "I just got up, I'll be there in [whenever]". Not 2 hrs later after you say you are on you're way! Leaves people hanging and goes towards you're credibility. *smh* And this is only one example.. it's constant, happens all the time! Even his friends have been saying things to me such as "everything out of his mouth is a lie". And it's not their misinterpretation, I've heard him over and over tell these little lies. I've confronted him... "they're not hurting anyone" he says. They put everyone out is what they do, and it really irks me!!

Posted by ellessque
example -

those are really nice shoes. where did you get them?

(when really they are terribly ugly and I could give a rats ass where they came from)

That's not a white lie. That is just phony!


A white lie is innocent. Telling someone you're okay with going to X restaurant, when you'd really rather go to another, but you just want to please them.

Posted by ellessque
it's not phony!!! 😛

I just can't think of anything else to say at that particular moment.

awkward silences make me nervous. i have to fill it up with something and why not make someone feel good about their ugly shoes? they might really be digging those shoes. who am i to judge? 😄

haha. Awkward silences can be fun at times. I hate small talk 😛

Posted by ellessque


on the other hand, you know this so why let it bother you?

if you just accepted it he may not have the need to do it. joke about it, call him out on it from time to time. he'll feel silly about doing it eventually and maybe he'll stop.

if someone called me out right to my face. i would never do it again to that person because i knew they caught on and i could just simply live with that awkward silence and it would be alot less stressful.

He knows it bothers me, I have confronted him. So now, he'll then turn to me and say, "So, do you think I shouldn't have lied to him/her?" I just shake my head. "Why do they need to know the truth? It's not hurting anyone" he says. He has lost clients because of it and then turns around and considers the client the asshole. It's pretty bad when I have to field the phone calls where he's being called a liar, an asshole and scum. Other people he works around don't take him at his word, because they can't. One of his best friends was pissed one day over the constant lying and told me "You can't believe a thing that comes out of that man's mouth". He is loosing (if he hasn't already lost) all credibility. (and yes, as a Cap this is EXTREMELY bothersome to me)

Bling, I wouldn't say it's escalated into anything, I have just seen it over and over so many times it's becoming more and more irritating. It really seems to be a compulsion. And, it's just stupid stuff - some minor, some not so minor in my book, but, if he were up front no harm no foul!

For example: when he'll be somewhere (this pissses clients off the most), then he'll lie about why he wasn't there when he said he would be (if he was up front in the first place, there would be no need to lie - sometimes it's a different day all together); that he spoke to someone about something (he never had any intent of doing so when he said he would speak to them in the first place) - so, of course, then he lies about the conversation he had with whomever who he never spoke with; that he'll pay someone and then put it off (he waits until they basically want nothing more to do with him - then he pays them and tries to salvage what is left of their business relationship); etc, etc.

It's not good people skills, not good business practice, and just not right!

It's beyond me why he does this. He thinks I need to learn to lie. And, to protect him (for the love of God, why? IDK), I do by playing dumb most of the time.

And here once again, not a white lie, an outright lie. I walk into the barn and the other trainer in our barn immediately says something to me about his lying and how it's put him in a bad position. Verifies with me and calls the client, ain't gonna happen, "I told you that you can't count on this guy" he says to the client. *smh*

ARGH, how does My Virgo not realize what bad business practice this is?!?

How and why does someone feel it is somehow ok to lie all the damn time? I just don't get it!!

Told some guy he could do a trip today to transport his horses... he was scheduled for surgery today, and no he didn't forget! When people want to move their horses, they want to move them, either for a race, new trainer, or because they don't want to continue paying out the $ $ $ where the horse is at (various reasons that would be). In this case, the horses were coming to the barn we're in to be trained by Big Cat (the other trainer in our barn) which is money lost for him given the fact the horse isn't going to be here when it was expected to be and could potentially put running the horse out even further. And, it makes Big Cat look bad as well and he could loose out and loose the client. My Virgo's lies and actions impact everyone around him and he doesn't even see it.

Shove it Ian! 😛

You know I luv ya, don't start with me!!!

This will not end well.

Posted by ianthepisces
Shove it?
Where do you wanna take it?

I meant up your own ass... but I'm game LOL

There is no end in sight!

Posted by ianthepisces

Posted by lildol

Posted by ianthepisces
Shove it?
Where do you wanna take it?

I meant up your own ass... but I'm game LOL

Alright, bend over...
Im glad you know your place...

click to expand

Only for you my dear 🙂

Compulsive behaviour of any sort is a symptom of a much larger personality disorder. Best dealt with through counseling or therapy.