Why is this so important?

Profile picture of LadyYin
LadyYin
@LadyYin
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 14 · Posts: 541 · Topics: 15
I notice with a lot of people who like the same sex, coming out is important. But why is it? Straight people dont go around announcing they are straight and are in love with the opposite sex. Why is it necessary for same sex lovers to come out? No disrespect to those who choose to. My thinking is why is it anyone's business who you love? That's between you and your partner. If you want to let the world know, fine. But why? Is it liberating? Do you feel like you are hiding your true self if you do not announce your sexuality? Discuss
Profile picture of princessacancersagittaire
princessacancersagittaire
@princessacancersagittaire
10 Years

Comments: 3 · Posts: 191 · Topics: 21
Maybe because they like to the validation it gets them like when a straight couple bring home their gf/bf for thanksgiving, christmas and so on and gets a chance to mingle with their folks and friends recognize their relationship and all but being gay doesn't pre-approve or validates yet, so maybe they need to announce it until people

Also maybe since gay communities are a minority, to meet new matches they need people to know they are gay. but these are totally "maybe"s
Profile picture of AnxiousVirgo24
AnxiousVirgo24
@AnxiousVirgo24
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 85 · Topics: 15
I'm happy to see that there's no hate on this thread so far because I feel like a lot of people on here aren't very open-minded and some are quite rude...but anyway I think society and surroundings of the person has a lot to do with their coming out process. I've known people who have never really come out they just date who they want and I also know others who have come out and felt liberated by the experience whether it a negative reaction or positive. I guess the best way to think of it (at least I think this is the best comparison) is to put yourself in that position where you've been hiding a crucial part of yourself from friends and family and have heard so much negativity about it...and finally years later you speak out about it and its like a weight has been lifted just like any big secret you keep from everyone.
Profile picture of The_eleventh_sign_11
Eleventh
@The_eleventh_sign_11
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 6313 · Topics: 313
I'll tell you why it was a big deal for me to come out.

When I was around 2 or 3 years old I had frequent sex dreams about me doing it with guys and when i was at the dinner table I blurted out what happened in my dreams to my whole family and I remember my dad who is Fijian / Jehova's witness chasing my older brothers around the dinner table and beating the shit out of them because he thought they had done something to me (true story) they have hated me since then lol.

My dad told me when I was 12 if he ever found out I was gay he would disown me, I didn't care if he did disown me but it hurt that he would do that to me. Some times when you're young you get this overwhelming feeling that if there is something wrong with you, you will be rejected and the thought of abandonment can be so crippling that your automatic response to someone who calls you gay is "no I'm not" and you learn to say that lie from when you are young till high school. By this time you are a pro at keeping your agenda under wraps even though it gets so hard when all your close friends tell you who their crushes and you force yourself to lie constantly saying "yep I love so and so's pussy" and doing embarrassing things to cover up the lie.

The period where you are lying is like living underwater, (i know i'm being very dramatic,I'm gay). Its the same with anyone you see who isn't being themselves its like seeing them drowning in their own bullshit and all they have to show is a one-sided shell of a human being........Coming out is like resurfacing as the new, true you and its a moment thats quite significant in someones life whose ever had to hide their true self from someone...

Profile picture of The_eleventh_sign_11
Eleventh
@The_eleventh_sign_11
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 6313 · Topics: 313
*someone who's ever had to hide their true self from (the world)*

I'll try and explain what its like to come out for a str8 person.......


*str8 person equivalent of coming out*

So one day you're walking around and someone sneezes on you and you think you got ebola, in your head you know for sure you got ebola and you're gonna die but you're too scared to tell anyone because you don't want your whole life uprooted so you lie to yourself and others that you're fine but on the inside you think holy fuck whats gonna happen to me am I gonna die and I gonna become a fucking zombie?.....try and imagine that you've lived from a child up to an adult thinking you have ebola and that you have no future till one day you can't take it anymore and you go to a doctor and get yourself diagnosed even though you are shit scared of the verdict you just don't give a fuck anymore because its all lead up to this point, and the doctor says that you are clean as a whistle and you are healthy as fuck......thats what coming out of the closet is like, all that anxiety and melancholy is lifted and suddenly you have a future where anything is possible..

this msg was brought to you by a gay guy..
Profile picture of The_eleventh_sign_11
Eleventh
@The_eleventh_sign_11
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 6313 · Topics: 313
Posted by Prince_Pisces
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
I'll tell you why it was a big deal for me to come out.

When I was around 2 or 3 years old I had frequent sex dreams about me doing it with guys and when i was at the dinner table I blurted out what happened in my dreams to my whole family and I remember my dad who is Fijian / Jehova's witness chasing my older brothers around the dinner table and beating the shit out of them because he thought they had done something to me (true story) they have hated me since then lol.

My dad told me when I was 12 if he ever found out I was gay he would disown me, I didn't care if he did disown me but it hurt that he would do that to me. Some times when you're young you get this overwhelming feeling that if there is something wrong with you, you will be rejected and the thought of abandonment can be so crippling that your automatic response to someone who calls you gay is "no I'm not" and you learn to say that lie from when you are young till high school. By this time you are a pro at keeping your agenda under wraps even though it gets so hard when all your close friends tell you who their crushes and you force yourself to lie constantly saying "yep I love so and so's pussy" and doing embarrassing things to cover up the lie.

The period where you are lying is like living underwater, (i know i'm being very dramatic,I'm gay). Its the same with anyone you see who isn't being themselves its like seeing them drowning in their own bullshit and all they have to show is a one-sided shell of a human being........Coming out is like resurfacing as the new, true you and its a moment thats quite significant in someones life whose ever had to hide their true self from someone...

click to expand

Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
I'll tell you why it was a big deal for me to come out.

When I was around 2 or 3 years old I had frequent sex dreams about me doing it with guys and when i was at the dinner table I blurted out what happened in my dreams to my whole family and I remember my dad who is Fijian / Jehova's witness chasing my older brothers around the dinner table and beating the shit out of them because he thought they had done something to me (true story) they have hated me since then lol.

My dad told me when I was 12 if he ever found out I was gay he would disown me, I didn't care if he did disown me but it hurt that he would do that to me. Some times when you're young you get this overwhelming feeling that if there is something wrong with you, you will be rejected and the thought of abandonment can be so crippling that your automatic response to someone who calls you gay is "no I'm not" and you learn to say that lie from when you are young till high school. By this time you are a pro at keeping your agenda under wraps even though it gets so hard when all your close friends tell you who their crushes and you force yourself to lie constantly saying "yep I love so and so's pussy" and doing embarrassing things to cover up the lie.

The period where you are lying is like living underwater, (i know i'm being very dramatic,I'm gay). Its the same with anyone you see who isn't being themselves its like seeing them drowning in their own bullshit and all they have to show is a one-sided shell of a human being........Coming out is like resurfacing as the new, true you and its a moment thats quite significant in someones life whose ever had to hide their true self from someone...
~hugs~ I want to smack your dad for you. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. BUT, so glad you found your voice and stayed true to yourself. Sorry, my Crab mama bear came out.
Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
Until society stops negatively overreacting to people who are sexually different than the "norm", and stops assuming that everyone is straight vanilla, people will have the need to step out and proclaim who they are. For those of us that have the luxury of fitting into what society deems as acceptable we have never had to feel the need to use our voices in such a way. My hope is that human sexuality in all it's varied glory will be something that everyone can accept, that our focus will be on being HUMAN, and not on trying to stuff everyone into boxes. Burn the bloody boxes!!
Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
Posted by Finbuff
So the natural progression is to validate, accept, and allow sexual relationships with/between anyone, of any age, why bother with chronological limits.
35 year old pedophilic woman wants to date her 14 year old freshman male student- why not?
Then of course polygamy should be acceptable as well - mormons believe - so why not? One wife for the house, one for social events and one to take home to mother, to perpetrate the fraudulent image of normalcy. Cozy.
You're probably talking less than 1% of the population in these 2 groups, as opposed to deviant gays at 1.8% ....so why not?
Shatter all moral and ethical barriers because it's all about "being happy" with oneself, and doing what feels natural, less we become psychologically scarred. Yes, it sounds quite civilized.
Animals and children can't consent, so they're protected. Consenting adults can do as they please. I have no problems with those who want to practice polygamy, etc.