Blood in the Water

Things are still going well but I've encountered my first speed bump. I don't think he's doing it on purpose but it's one of my red flags.

I'm not perfect by any means so this is more about what I see and hoping you guys can help direct me into figuring out what I may be doing to warrant this behavior. Either he's a lesser fishy or we're miscommunicating. I think it's the latter.

He's making some changes in an area I know all too well. He appreciates my help but I've noticed that sometimes he takes it very personally. Instead of direction, I think he interprets it as criticism? Or control?

What does he do? When he doesn't want to talk about practical matters or feels practical discussions are too detailed, he shuts down, cuts the convo short, over. When he's cooled off, he apologizes and acknowledges his overreaction. I end up apologizing for upsetting him but truthfully, I don't get where I went wrong. I just know he's upset so there's clearly a problem and I want to know my roll in it. You asked for my opinion ABOUT AN ISSUE, I gave it...problem?

Point? This reminds me of the leo 😢 That feeling a woman gets when she's questioning her actions in an effort to maintain peace and order. Had he simply communicated, ok. But he left me to dangle while he sorted through his emo and where he returned on his on accord (without my pleading), he walked away on his own as well.

I'm detached enough to recognize where this could head...me walking on eggshells, fearing upsetting him, fearing his running away. I like him a lot but I can't do this again. I want to change course and if it's me, something I'm doing, I can fix that. If not, I guess I'm out 😢

And I know he would be hurt to even think I felt this way, he's established a trend that I can't ignore. My feelings for him haven't changed but I'm starting to see the potential of his being a lower pisces. I honestly don't know what to do. My gut isn't telling me to run...yet.

Taurus can be demanding, controlling, stubborn. I don't know if that's what I'm doing. If I am, it's me. But I don't think I am. I definitely need to tell him "good job" more but I'm not that full of bull that I'm damaging this...I don't think.

HELP!

Are u the new pesca or the old?

What an idiot you are. What do you think the purpose of public forums is? Obviously if someone seeks an outside perspective it's because they can't get an inside one.

Do NOT reply.

Fuck! Can't believe I checked in to read ^that bottomfeeder shit.

For all others, you know I'm a smart ass so unless you want to be gutted and fried, reply with some fucking depth or don't bother. Waste of my time and yours. Either give a perspective as a pisces or don't give one at all. And if your best is to be smartass pricks...cool. That's what you want to communicate about you? Thanks. I know what to do.

Nah, just want to point out that you're an arrogant bitch.

Why the hell would someone post on a forum if they want to be told in effect, "why are you asking us?"

Answer the damn question from your perspective as a pisces or don't answer.

stfu

Shouldve typed that at first. It was easier.

Posted by Pesca
from a piscean perspective: a lot of us consider our innerlife sacred. so people digging into those regions, when the pisces is not ready - won't get through. before we lie, we rather become quite and shut down. for you it might not be a big deal. pisces are sensitive even if they don't show it; a word spoken in the wrong tone, a wrong look - you have pisces sulking and keeping a distance.

by reassuring the pisces that you are somebody they can count on; even if you are impatient and intolerant of some issues - is one way of gaining trust.

if things are moving too slow; you might need to find some firey beast that will lead the way.

Why didn't you say that at first? You didn't have to be dismissive.

Things are moving at a slow but steady pace. I think he wants things to be more hurried, not me.

To a degree you're right. I do think he feels his weaknesses are exposed and he has trouble with the exposure itself...not me specifically.

Hmmm...I do think he feels pressured by his circumstance and by pointing out realities, I add pressure.

I know pisces needs time to process. I'm cool with that. Abrupt/rude ends to conversations though? No. Don't like that at all.

Dating a pisces and befriending one is different. I see the similarities with my "pisces" bff and her decision making process. The difference is, as a friend, I don't care if it takes her years to decide the obvious. I'm ok with her slow pace and passive self-destruction.

I get that my error might be that I'm frustrated with his seeming passivity. I'm telling you there's potential danger ahead, you see the danger, you acknowledge the danger and yet you're still standing right where I left you—

Patience and acceptance are the tactics I take with my "pisces" bff but its much more difficult when the passivity, indecisiveness and insecurity directly impact you.

I know he'll get there...with or without me. He's a strong man. I just wish he had a constant fire under him so that he doesn't get run over.

He may have FELT criticized, even if you didn't MEAN it that way. Criticism hurts, esp when we feel the "practical" advice lacks the "feeling touch"... maybe he just wanted sympathy and commiseration.. for you to FEEL for his plight, but still seem convinced and confident that he'll be able to handle finding the right solution. (Men want to always be The Hero in your eyes.. if he feels you're telling him what to do and/or how to do it, he feels he's lost some of your ADMIRATION and RESPECT and your TRUST... And that is SOOOO incredibly painful for a man!) Next time maybe SAY, "I feel so loved and cherished that you can share this with me. Do you really want a practical solution to this? Do you want ADVICE, or do you just want to be HEARD while you work it out for yourself by speaking aloud? I would feel honored and respected either way I am needed to help you right now."

If I feel I'm about to lose control, say or do something I KNOW will be so so so wrong, I'll walk away abruptly. I have to, before my overwhelming emotions rear up and stomp you flat. I do it BECAUSE I care about you. If I do not care.. I do not CARE if you get eaten by the fuckin' Shark!

But I've LEARNED to say, "It's me, not you. I need some space before I say something I'll regret. I'll be back." And my Libra has learned to say it to ME in return.

TELL HIM what you need, he's not a mind-reader. "Honey... I love that we seem to always find our way through any issue, but I feel dismissed, hurt, abandoned (or whatever emotion you're actually feeling!) when you shut down and walk away from me like that. I don't want this to be the cause of bigger misunderstandings between us. I would feel so appreciative if you would TELL me when you need to walk away, so that I don't feel so worried and upset. A simple I'll be back would feel so wonderful and reassuring to me." Accompany this with eye contact, physical touches, even a kiss when finished.

It's not magic.. but it will feel like it is LOL

P.S. NEVER NEVER EVER "walk on eggshells" to keep the peace.. it backfires! It feels tense, fake, even COLD and UNFEELING to a man... esp to a Pisces. Always speak your Truth, what YOU FEEL, in a gentle, loving, centered, non-blaming way.

Thanks nefer and yeah, that's what I'm sensing but sorta needed some perspective. I hate the notion that while I think I'm reinforcing him, he feels cut off at the knees. I don't think my opinions are unsolicited but last night I didn't do what I instinctively do with my "pisces" bff. I didn't soften the blow or as you say, I didn't make him feel safe first and I know better 😢

I knew I was doing something wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it till now and I think as a man, it's difficult for him to say that I hurt his feelings or that he needs me to be softer...that just makes him feel weaker.

And no, eggshells aren't an option but that reaction wouldve been certain if I stayed and didn't realize how I was contributing. At least I can see now and this is an easy enough fix. I knew I was wrong too and now I think I can fully acknowledge his feelings where I wasn't able to before. Hopefully this is what he's feeling 😉

Thank you much

I emailed him. In typing it out I think I got some clarity. I'm my aries grandmother.

I call my grandparents every sunday. My grandmother is good for a 10 min conversation but I invariably end up losing my cool and saying, "Granddaddy now please!"

My grandmother complains that I speak to my cappy granddad for 30-45 min with ease but 5 min into a conversation with her I'm about ready to pull my hair out. What does she do?

She reminds me of practical bullshit. "Did you change your oil?" "Rotate your tires?" "Get a checkup?"

It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't do it EVERY sunday! Why the hell can't she just talk? It irks the shit out of me. I swear if I left her on the phone long enough she'd ask me if I changed my underwear and brushed my teeth.

I know she's only asking out of love and concern but it makes me feel as if she thinks I'm incapable, stupid...that I'm a child. And if I weren't so defensive, I'd be able to reassure her and say, I changed the oil last week, rotated my tires last month and I'm due for a checkup in october. But I never answer cause I'm too busy bolting. Thing is she still has her questions and just asks them next sunday which pisses me off all over again and hurts her feelings.

My intent with pisces was genuine but I see where I went wrong. It doesn't excuse his disrespect but I think I get it now.

Thanks again. I feel so much better.

Magical 😄

Update!

He didn't know what the hell I was talking about. HA!

He acknowledged that his departures were abrupt but said that he felt we parted on good terms. In other words, the convo went well even though his "bye's" on rare occasions are rude. ie...


I say, "So what do you think?"

He says, "Babe, I'm tired. I'm going to bed." Leaves.

I think, "WUT!? WOW!...bitch." Pouts.


He agreed to work on his jerk factor but pointed out that my level of bitch was surprising as well. REALLY? Moi? Say it ain't so!!"

Semi-related to pisces, my problem is my triple aries in the house of self-undoing (12th). Arguments/pain for me have 3 levels and it's difficult to determine which planet is at work given they're all in aries and conjunct.

An exaggerated hypothetical might be...

Mars - "Stop being a bitch jackass! Fuck you twice! That's why your parents hate you!"
Venus - "Oh that's how you want to play it? Bitch! I'm done. Do NOT contact me again and aye, go fuck yourself!"
Moon - "You hurt my feelings! Make me feel better! Now! NOW I SAID!!!"
An hour later, "Let's do it!"


So after a fiery relationship with the leo, I'm keenly aware of my blaze but for the first time, I'm able to step outside myself and see why I'm hot then calm. Astro has helped tremendously, past experiences have given me context but pisces gives me clarity. Cont...

It's like, I'm right there ya know? It's like looking at a painting through a microscope. You can see every minute detail. The shapes and colors...every component and yet, what's the painting of.

I've noticed that with my pisces bff, even with some of the pisces on here and now with him that yall are sorta like seeing your own relection in a pond.

I was at my wits end the other day and what Nefer's reply did was echo what was inside of me. It wasn't telling me what I want to hear but sorta like taking a few steps back so that I could see the bigger picture...making out the reflection in the pond.

When he said that he had to take a step back and figure out why I was so fiery, something about the way he framed it made bells go off. The leo had told me similar things but his ass was fiery too so fuck him and his opinipns 😛

My point is, I'm either maturing or I'm with someone who helps me see clear exits and avenues a lot more readily. In other words, I'm a Taurus. I'm stubborn and yet with him, I feel open and receptive to change. I can feel myself changing and I'm not digging in my heels as much as I normally would.

Even when we miss, we hit and I like that very much. I swear, whether it works out or it doesn't, I will have grown via this experience.

Pisces are awesome!...for now 😛

Came out of curiosity, stayed for the cat fight 😛. Strong-minded Pisces women are the best 🙂.

I prefer to warm up by the fire with a nice book 😉. I love when people ask for advice and then say NO GIVE ME EXACTLY THIS KIND OF ADVICE OR GTFO.

You're a shitty little bunny. You soooo make me wanna have a "Close" encounter.

I love it when people have no relevant advice but post anyway.

And you can trivialize personal concerns by offering nothing relevant.

How about, "your advice sucked?!"

Did the bunny crawl up your ass and lay pellets?

I take it you don't get objective advice from friends? You NEVER ask anyone anything. Yep, you're totally unique dude. I bet you lick toilet seats.

So...I take it that you believe psychology and psychiatry are bullshit? People who "depend on complete strangers for advice" are what again? Narrow-minded prick.

I take it that you think any outside source that adds insight into behavior from an outside perspective is totally pointless?...like astrology? Yeah, you must totally think that someone who reads about the sign of an SO is completely off base because after all, the author of such texts is a stranger.

Fucking hypocritical idiot. Why give advice as a stranger if you deem your advice irrelevant?

Your advice sucked. Someone else's advice was more relevant and helpful than yours. Or are you implying that Nefer's advice sucked and yours is superior? You sick, cocky bitch. How dare you shit on her simply because your perspective is irrelevant? Why the fuck are you even here? Dumbass bitch.

My allergies are killing so I'm out but you? Oh and aye, go fuck yourself!

Posted by tubbyscubby
Did the bunny crawl up your ass and lay pellets?

I take it you don't get objective advice from friends? You NEVER ask anyone anything. Yep, you're totally unique dude. I bet you lick toilet seats.

So...I take it that you believe psychology and psychiatry are bullshit? People who "depend on complete strangers for advice" are what again? Narrow-minded prick.

I take it that you think any outside source that adds insight into behavior from an outside perspective is totally pointless?...like astrology? Yeah, you must totally think that someone who reads about the sign of an SO is completely off base because after all, the author of such texts is a stranger.

Fucking hypocritical idiot. Why give advice as a stranger if you deem your advice irrelevant?

Your advice sucked. Someone else's advice was more relevant and helpful than yours. Or are you implying that Nefer's advice sucked and yours is superior? You sick, cocky bitch. How dare you shit on her simply because your perspective is irrelevant? Why the fuck are you even here? Dumbass bitch.

My allergies are killing so I'm out but you? Oh and aye, go fuck yourself!

you have just become every tantruming, defensive, little girl you go after on here...

What's wrong... did the pisces blow you off tonight?

Posted by tubbyscubby
He appreciates my help but I've noticed that sometimes he takes it very personally. Instead of direction, I think he interprets it as criticism? Or control?

What does he do? When he doesn't want to talk about practical matters or feels practical discussions are too detailed, he shuts down, cuts the convo short, over. When he's cooled off, he apologizes and acknowledges his overreaction. I end up apologizing for upsetting him but truthfully, I don't get where I went wrong. I just know he's upset so there's clearly a problem and I want to know my roll in it. You asked for my opinion ABOUT AN ISSUE, I gave it...problem?

It's so ironic that you write this and then snap at pesca for giving her honest opinion. Hopefully this shows you that even when someone is just giving their opinion or trying to help, the other person can take it very personally. It sounds like you're not satisfied with a lot of things about him. this can be looked at too ways: you're being too critical or he's not right for you. Neither of these viewpoints is necessarily more right than the other, but I do think you may be overanalyzing your relationships a bit. it's good to be mindful, but too much thought will kill any relationship, no matter how successful it otherwise would be.

I definitely did not owe you that after all your cattiness, but take it or leave it.

Yeaaaa, and I'm the one with issues...riiiiight!

Why don't you all take a handful of pills and wash it down with a fifth? Oh wait, that was your friday night.

Rishi, you're worse than tubby. She acts immature because her emotions screw her up. You do it because you think you're funny. You're not funny.

I thought I put you in a pot?

Mr. Sexy,

Yes, a shark has taken up residency in the pond near my pasture.

Tau and pisces are compatible. The issue isn't so much my earth as it is my fire...aries fire.

I dunno how I manage to do it but I'm patiently impatient. Calm but fiery. Luckily, he's got some fire in his chart too.

And you're right. I agree that I need to be careful of how I communicate. Fishies are very sensitive. Unlike virgos who spazz the fuck out in the face of criticism, a pisces seems to take the arrows but they're equally defensive. I think the realization I came to was to be more suggestive and indirect with my assistance/criticisms. It's hard to do given how direct I am with things that impact me directly but I'm learning.

I like my catfish and overall, I think we mesh well and he's not thrown by a little dRaMA! here and there...and there.

Yes but you may call me Nipple and thanks