Breaking Up With A Pisces Female

I've been dating a pisces female for about 6 months and have come to the realization that my attraction or connection to her has faded and that we may not be compatible.

She is a Sun in Pisces and Venus in Pisces. She seems to be in a rush to "be" in a relationship, live together, etc.., almost to the point where she seems blinded to reality. Do Pisces females tend to overlook things just to be in a relationship?

I know breaking up with her is going to be difficult because she seems very sensitive and emotional.

Is there any advice that the female Pisces on the board can give me to soften the blow?

Any insights are appreciated.

A wondering Gem.

I would second being direct with her. Do not be wishy washy, just be firm. Im sure shes going to probably be upset, nobody likes getting dumped. If its only been 6 months though, it might not hurt as bad as if it was longer, but since she sounds quite attached, it might be a big ouch for her regardless. I would do it as soon as possible.

Im usually a slow poke in relationships...I tend to be more careful in how I handle things.

Great response Gemgal!

Have tact, and be very honest. You cant control her reaction but you can control the respect she will have for you in the future once she gets over being dumped.

Thanks all for the comments!

GemGal, both of us are in our early 30s. Yes, I know. Who wouldn't be pushing for marriage at that age. But, I've never been one to blind myself from potential issues just so people would know that I'm "in a relationship." Although some would disagree, it seems that there still is a stigma for being single, and people respond by just settling with someone that down the road may not be the best person for them.

Chemistry/Attraction/Compatibility. It's the age old question. And, everyone has their own opinion or style .

The reason I've been with her for 6 months is to make sure that I wasn't just walking away from something great. I wish I could pinpoint why I don't feel I should go forward. And, GemGal, although I agree that the chemistry may somewhat fade, there should always be a feeling that you want that person, more and more in your life.

It certainly is disappointing, because she is a great person with a great future.

But, this is the first time I've dated a pisces female. She just seemed to be too willing to jump into a relationship without taking time to truly see if there is a connection or compatibility.

wondergem

I totally agree with virgogotme

"And, GemGal, although I agree that the chemistry may somewhat fade, there should always be a feeling that you want that person, more and more in your life."

- So you all got past the honeymoon phase 😉.

"She's blinded to reality? It appears to me that you've been deceiving her reality, while you tell us (instead of her) you are plotting to dump her. You also state she's in a rush, yet you again write that you took 6 months to make sure... You are talking out of both sides of your mouth. Either way....It's clear you want this to end. My suggestion to you is, be a man and stop stringing her along due to sympathy. You are deceiving her because she hasn't a clue what you are about to do. Time for you to clue her in on reality (the truth) don't you think?"

virogogotme, I completely disagree with you saying I am "deceiving" my girlfriend. So many times I hear from women that men don't give it time to see if something develops. Sure, there is physical attraction. But, I didn't want to just throw in the towel early on. And, I didn't promise anything to her, tell her I loved her, etc..

If that is wrong, I guess I'm at fault.

I do agree that it is time to tell her how I feel.

Exactly as Klover said, be honest but tactful about it.

And if she does get emotional and upset by all means be supportive, but remain firm in your decision - don't give her false hope out of guilt/sympathy.

Make it a clean break no ifs or buts.

I also agree with VGM.

Six months is a long time for a woman's feelings .. to go this long of a period having emotional signals open and flowing will definitely lead her to believe that this is a special union.

By your own admission, you haven't told her that she isn't right for you, while letting her female feelings fall further and further for you ... and to beat all, you have awareness that her emotions are letting her fall for you.

She is now trusting that at the end ... you are there to catch her.
When in reality ... you are letting her free fall, and are not clueing her in to the reality that she is going to get injured .. seriously.

What a fucked up thing to do.




You even said that you recongize that she's sensitive and emotional .. but, fail to support these feelings by leading her on and letting her think there is more?

Gem men are fucked up ... and yes, I'm allowed to say that .. I was married to one, so that gives me a right.

Man up .. tell her straight up .. and leave Pisces women alone, you don't deserve to have this sensitive creature in your heart if you don't know how to take care of her.

I dont agree Gemgal. Define 'right'. If X woman showed all these things that I love in a woman and a few things I didnt like, but were tolerable things, I would call her right. Quit being a punk Wondergem, either you want to be w/ the girl or you dont, dont bleed it out.

Hi Wondergem,
I will back up most of the comments. I am a Pisces girl and the best way to end it with her is to be sure that this is what you want to do and just do it. DO NOT, AND I REPEAT DO NOT STRING HER ALONG. When you end it with her, walk away and don't look back and don't walk in and out of her life. Pisces take break ups hard but we do heal with time, as long as your not on the sidelines stoking the flame she has for you. The flame will burn out, but we only do that if we know that there is NO HOPE. If you linger around she will think there is hope to reconcile. You have recognized that she is VERY SENSITIVE so please leave her with some dignity when you break up with her and don't be cruel, because if she is emotionally invested in you it will crush her. So just be firm that you want it to end, and stand by your decision.

Sorry that I typed a book...lol.
Good Luck!

Thanks Sweetfish.

Update - I visited with her yesterday and broke up in person. She's understandably upset, but appreciated that I drove 40 miles to see her in person (apparently she didn't expect anything like this because she couldn't do what I did). It was real stressful for me these last few days, but I'm glad I did it this way and I know it showed her my respect. I was sincere, honest and didn't try to tell her that we should "be friends." If that happens, down the line, it would be great because I know she is an amazing person.

I want to respond to some of the posters here that seem to have attacked me for no apparent reason.

When I met my pisces, I was very hopeful and felt attracted. We had much in common (same cultural background, type of education, etc.). I wanted to give it time because I didn't want to just come to a conclusion without giving it a chance. Unfortunately, the connection for me never developed. I wasn't intentionally trying to string her along. In fact, I didn't string her along.

Has it caused some upset for her? Yes. It actually is disapponting for me as well. But, I don't think I could have or would have done anything different. I'm glad I was part of her life and got to know her. It makes me all the better and wiser in my search for the right mate.

So, thanks to all of the posters who gave genuine advice about how to deal with my pisces.

"Unfortunately, the connection for me never developed. I wasn't intentionally trying to string her along. In fact, I didn't string her along."


Of course, you did.


"She just seemed to be too willing to jump into a relationship without taking time to truly see if there is a connection or compatibility."

Six months isn't rushing .... and if after 6 months she hasn't seen the real you yet, to be able to truly see if there is a connection ... then this is indeed leading her on.


Not surprised you won't take any of the responsibility, and put all blame on the other, as if only she was apart of the two of you, to make errors ....... normal human behaviour, although, not acceptable now and never will be.


At least she got away from you ..... she is hurting now, and probaby cannot see it .. hopefully, her day of awareness will be sooner rather than later .... you two breaking up is a blessing for her .. you're free to move on now to your next victim.

Posted by wondergem
"virogogotme, I completely disagree with you saying I am "deceiving" my girlfriend. So many times I hear from women that men don't give it time to see if something develops. Sure, there is physical attraction. But, I didn't want to just throw in the towel early on. And, I didn't promise anything to her, tell her I loved her, etc..

If that is wrong, I guess I'm at fault.

I do agree that it is time to tell her how I feel.

No, that's not what women get upset about .... they get upset because men won't nurture/support her feelings by expressing to her how he feels about her and the relationship.

You make it sound like you had done her a favour by not expressing to her emotionally ... you couldn't be further from correct ... and yes, that makes you a user/emotional abuser for a woman if you let this go on for 6 months, all the while, letting her believe you have this interest in her because you stayed with her.

what an asshole.


And you are wrong again .. it isn't time to tell her now .... it was fucking time to tell her how you felt 6 FUCKING MONTHS AGO.

She's making all these long term plans and he is not ready for that. I don't blame him for being turned off.

Most Piscean women I know are so nice but to gullible and clingy at times. They even hang on to bad relationships.

Its good if he lets her go. She should find someone who will offer her those things.