Does he think I hate him?

I've always had feelings for my best male friend. I consider him my best male friend...I mean he's the only guy I've honestly felt myself with, who never judged me, made fun of me (in the bad way) and I used to think he felt really comfortable with me and cared alot about me emotionally at least enough to where I'd affect his emotions.

But I guess over the past few months things just kinda fizzled out friendship wise as we've never dated or talked about dating or anything like that...though there have been weird beating around the bush type of actions. Anyway, things just fizzled out friendship wise. We barely talk as much as we used to. There are times where we are hanging out with friends and sometimes we'll end up in the same area alone and he just won't say anything he'll just take out his phone and scroll through it instead of just talking to me. Plus he's so jovial with everyone we know except me and that's the biggest difference I notice.

I did try multiple times to talk about it with him but the only thing that I can figure out as to why is either he thinks I hate him or I'm always angry at him or I'm just unusually quiet now and with either one of these cases (if i'm correct) he doesn't know what to do other than keep to himself or drift to someone else for conversation. I'm not sure how this all started but I haven't changed how I am personality wise so I don't know why he changed initially.

I also have tried initiating conversation with him especially when we get stuck alone and he will always respond and sometimes will be enthusiastic or active in the conversation but I guess the biggest problem is he just doesn't try as much anymore when he is the same old him with everyone else in his life.

What can I do other than talking about it since that didn't help and being proactive and initiating isn't helping. I don't know if he expects me to initiate 24/7 but there are going to be times where I will be talking to other people. Do I have to practically be in his face all the time or is it a "he thinks I hate him" sort of deal.

Anyone ever had this problem?

The other part that makes this hurtful is the times where sometimes where the people he naturally gravitates to or hangs out with i.e. his buddies will invite me somewhere and my friend won't go and you'd think he would since he's always around these specific friends but no he doesn't go and I think it's becuase I'm there.

There are times where he'll initiate and do the inviting but he rarely asks me and he'll ask people in front of me and its sad that they'll go off on their own and leave the room right in front of me and its hurtful.

I don't think he hates me, that much I can prove. I just don't know what it is nor do I know how figure this out.

You have taken a mere acquaintance and twisted it into having profound meaning ... based off of nothing except your expectations of how you.

It appears as though he couldn't give a rats ass about how you feel toward your feelings of attraction for him, and his actions represent this.

Meanwhile, you have this whole fantasy being created in your mind, which led you to trying to understand something that isn't even there.


and people say Fishes are in la-la-land

Posted by P-Angel

You have taken a mere acquaintance and twisted it into having profound meaning ... based off of nothing except your expectations of how you.

It appears as though he couldn't give a rats ass about how you feel toward your feelings of attraction for him, and his actions represent this.

Meanwhile, you have this whole fantasy being created in your mind, which led you to trying to understand something that isn't even there.


and people say Fishes are in la-la-land

Uh no he wasn't just an acquaintaince. He was there during several traumatic things in my life: deaths in the family, having to relocate quickly, family falling out, career, etc. He was there through it all, I didn't even have to ask him he was just there because he CHOSE too.

he even was there for my birthday and did nice htings like throw bday parties for me and etc.

And now? Barely remembers my birthday, if he does at all. Even then he doesn't acknowledge it. He doesn't talk/ask about what's going on in my life but he will listen closely if he notices other people asking me.

Its like he won't try and continue to get to know me but he'll eaves drop, ask other people abotu what's going on with me etc.

If he wants to know he should do soemthing about it.

@P - "and people say Fishes are in la-la-land" she's why (a wittle fishy herself), maybe when she grows up she'll figure it out. She likes him and probably makes it well known through her actions and comments to others, he doesn't like her like that and is doing the best he can to shake her off. That's my take...

@tiziani

I can see that perception of course. I guess the thing that bugged me of course is that I didn't change who I was or how I treated him and I treat him exactly like other people treat him and I treat him exactly like how I treat other friends and then he up and not only gets unusually distant but he plays weird games like if he's going to be distant then be distant. Don't snoop in on my conversations with other people, don't get upset that his buddies are talking to me more than he'd like, don't get all macho if people are teasing me, don't gloat about my accomplishments to other people.

If he's going to be distant then BE distant completely.

The problem here is that you have romantic feelings for a friend and he was only ever looking for friendship with you, which means you are NOT doing the same things in this relationship. You attach way too much importance over why he's not contacting you as much. Like you say, friendships do drift and you've been expecting too much here. If you want to be understood by others, you need to try reaching out to more people. Sometimes we all feel like "nobody understands us" but really we're the ones who have closed ourselves off from others due to excessive fears around being judged, not the other way around. This thing you've got going here is a fantasy and you're better off letting it go and finding true friendship elsewhere.

Looks like the Aquarians did a good job answering your repeated posts, go back there.

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/do-aquas-ever-hate-anyone-4894833/?p=4

Way I see it..you need to grow up. Do that, and you'll see a change in behavior from men.

You are a handful. Men don't like that.