fellow pisces feels like he doesnt truly know me

we have talked daily for 4 years, and today he told me that he feels like he doesn't know me. we talk everyday, how can you not know me? we are both pisces, so we are both sort of 'mysterious,' and i don't know how to fix this problem. what can i do to make him feel closer to me?

Depends what you talk about. If he doesn't feel close to, you can't push him sweetheart. From my experience, they don't like getting too close to any one person. 4 years is ages, how are you guys not married?? Lol But he's maintained this emotional distance somehow, makes you wonder why.

Posted by x1234

.. and i don't know how to fix this problem.

In 4 years time of talking to him, do you know him well enough to know how to fix a problem?

Why don't you know him well enough to know how to fix this?

-Why don't you know him well enough to know how to fix this?

ok, forgot to add that i feel like he knows me very well. so when he claims this, i feel very hurt/confused/don't know how to fix it. it's weird to think that the person that knows you best feels this way towards you. i honestly don't know what he wants to know about me. i mean, i don't go around telling him details about my first relationships etc., only because it just never comes up in conversation...not because i'm being mysterious. i make daily conversation, it's not my fault that my past doesn't come up in every talk. what does he want me to do, spit out random facts about myself until he feels connected?

That last comment sounded kind of juvenile .. because, yes, you are suppose to tell him about your past, and, yes, you are suppose to tell him as the memories surface.

So what you said in sarcasm is actually what mature people do in a relatinship when they are trying to get to know each other.

It sounds to me like you want to play couple, without actually being a couple.



So, the two of you sit down one evening each with a piece of paper and come up with a few important questions you want to know about the other. make sure to approve of all questions, so that both of you are content with what is being asked ... and spend an extended amount of time to fully answer the questions.

And not to do is with resentment and sarcasm .. do it with the genuine desire for the both of you to understand how you become the person you are. do it again and again, until one day, you both look at each other and never even have to speak .... you just know what the other was going to say because you know how each other thinks.

After 4 years .... you should be the one giving this advice to another. What's up with that?

sorry if that last one sounded juvenile. i want to be a couple, and i believe he does too. i think the way he looks at this though is like, "i want to be with you, but how can i start something if i don't know you." he wants to 'know me' in a deep sense first, before we are officially together. we can actually already do the 'know what each other is thinking' thing, so i guess that's why i was so hurt. here i am feeling like he's my soulmate, and then he tells me this. thanks for the paper idea, i will try it.

-After 4 years .... you should be the one giving this advice to another. What's up with that?

in my last two relationships, the men never got to know me on a deep level. example: i knew nothing about any of their ex's. for all i know, they could've been married...i would have had no idea. the stuff i knew, i only knew because i lurked around. i am a very thoughtful pisces. there is nothing i love more than to know people on a deeper level, and tell them how i feel in my heart towards things, but people just never really give me that chance. and when people don't give me that chance, i have no desire to be a pest and pry into their lives, so we just go day to day not 'knowing' each other. i am actually really excited that my new guy wants to know me, but i am very sad that i don't have any experience in that department.

*blink* Is this an online relationship?

I ask, because that's how it feels to me, like a wonderful fantasy connection. You say you TALK every day - for four years.. but Pisces usually cannot forge true depths with people until they are physically with you, in your presence.. feeling and absorbing the vibes and nuances, picking up on all the subtle non-verbal communication.. because 90% of communication is non-verbal, even for non-Fish.

Sounds like all you know about each other are facts and figures, so to speak.. which can form a great .. uhh.. "friendship".. as much a friendship as a Pisces can form with someone not physically in their life. A fantasy connection, more in the imagination and mind than truly in the heart.. no wonder he feels he doesn't know you, there's so much below the surface.. things sensed and felt, but cannot be simply rattled off like a laundry list of past experiences. To solidify this connection you're trying to build, you MUST move it to the physical plane.. otherwise, it's forever going to be two Pisces imagining themselves and this relationship.. instead of truly connecting.

Maybe P-Angel can try to explain this better than I.

Posted by Nefer
*blink* Is this an online relationship?

I ask, because that's how it feels to me, like a wonderful fantasy connection. You say you TALK every day - for four years.. but Pisces usually cannot forge true depths with people until they are physically with you, in your presence.. feeling and absorbing the vibes and nuances, picking up on all the subtle non-verbal communication.. because 90% of communication is non-verbal, even for non-Fish.

Sounds like all you know about each other are facts and figures, so to speak.. which can form a great .. uhh.. "friendship".. as much a friendship as a Pisces can form with someone not physically in their life. A fantasy connection, more in the imagination and mind than truly in the heart.. no wonder he feels he doesn't know you, there's so much below the surface.. things sensed and felt, but cannot be simply rattled off like a laundry list of past experiences. To solidify this connection you're trying to build, you MUST move it to the physical plane.. otherwise, it's forever going to be two Pisces imagining themselves and this relationship.. instead of truly connecting.

Maybe P-Angel can try to explain this better than I.

not an online relationship, and we see each other multiple times a week