He still communicates with his ex!!!

So here's the story:::
Ive been really closed with this guy (he is a Cancer) Im a Pisces btw. We hit it off really well( weve known each other est childhood)...two years ago feelings started to appear. 1year and half ago he asked for us to be exclusive BUT I decline being that I was leaving for college and most importantly i didnt wanna ruin a great friendship. RECENTLY he has brought up this issue about us dating he stated" We have a great understanding and a great friendship that could lead else where" then he texted me later saying""It's never about me or you, it's always about us and I respect that about you.Speak so that you may be heard, and at the end of each day, we learn from each other!"

I asked on here advice regarding dating someone thats basically your "bestfriend"
I came to the conclusion that if The question pops up again I will accept

BUT::: I found out today he still communications with his ex/ first love a girl that left him a couple years back and had a child with someone else, and also he communications a female that he dated years ago that feels she needs a second chance and hasnt moved on. But the girl has wrote facebook notes saying he said he didnt want to date her he is involved with someone. My bestfriend who is also a cancer said maybe 1) maybe he doesnt he said that because he doesnt want to date her 2) maybe he is seeing someone 3.) maybe he reserve that girlfriend spot for me...

I dont know what to think maybe hes just reconnecting himself to his past...but should I be concerned? Btw Idk its my place to ask why he talks to them we're not official and it makes me look insecure....GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK!
BTW I POSTED THIS IN "CANCER FORUM" CONSIDERING HE IS A CANCER...BUT I WOULD LOVE SOME INSITE FROM MY FELLOW FISH!!!

For what it's worth.

I'm not sure what you're posting about? From what I can tell, YOU have made it fairly clear that you don't want to enter a relationship with him and you are now upset that he is honoring your want and talking to other women? I don't understand what you want? Is your ego bruised that he didn't trip over himself after you rejected him or what?

From my experience, a woman that won't entertain a relationship with a man for fear or jeopardizing a friendship but then responds like you do is:
-Playing games
-Has a hurt ego
-A combination of both

If I'm wrong, clarify.

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces

...but should I be concerned? Btw Idk its my place to ask why he talks to them we're not official and it makes me look insecure....

You should have been concerned 2 years ago when he wanted you to be his exclusively. You chose not to let him into your heart on the level he was wanting, which = you rejected him and his love.

He owes you nothing .. leave him alone and let him live.

He likes to keep his door open to all his exes on the slight chance he may want to rekindle

i don't think a relationship outside of a friendship will work for you if you can't get over his past

you're right in your current status as friend you have no right to tell him who he can and cannot talk to

If you guys read my statement he brought up the topic saying" I think we have a great understanding that can lead else where."...I rejected him because I was moving away for college, I was terrified about possibly losing a great friendship and we we're young( we just both turned 21).

I rejected him by saying:: I think you deserve someone that you can be around all the time, Im scared about losing our friendship.

we still communicate on the regular. If we we're just hanging out so I wont be "leaving him alone" anytime soon. My only problem is we're on great terms , and he's being up the whole relationship thing again, This time Im ready! Im just worried about his ex's ( not so much the one with the baby)...but the one who still has strong feelings for him and writes fb notes about him etc etc

^ Agreed also tell him your ready and will the x be a problem. If he picks his X don't beat yourself up over it you can't change the past. What's done is done.

i don't think you should be concerned. he sounds like a mature guy, someone that can have friendships with people he used to date. the past is a big factor, lots of cancers are sentimental and don't cut ties easily.

yes, it would look insecure to ask about them. it's none of your business at the moment.

and it's about whether you're jealous because you genuinely care about him, or because you're being territorial and these girls are a threat to you, purely because you don't want him, but no one else should have him either.

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
If you guys read my statement he brought up the topic saying" I think we have a great understanding that can lead else where."...I rejected him because I was moving away for college, I was terrified about possibly losing a great friendship and we we're young( we just both turned 21).

I rejected him by saying:: I think you deserve someone that you can be around all the time, Im scared about losing our friendship.

we still communicate on the regular. If we we're just hanging out so I wont be "leaving him alone" anytime soon. My only problem is we're on great terms , and he's being up the whole relationship thing again, This time Im ready! Im just worried about his ex's ( not so much the one with the baby)...but the one who still has strong feelings for him and writes fb notes about him etc etc

rejection is rejection, no matter how great the reasons.


why do you care about the exes when he's choosing you to be in a relationship with? are you just scraping the barrel for excuses not to go ahead?

Posted by nimbue
i don't think you should be concerned. he sounds like a mature guy

^ What she said.