How do I make better dating choices??

I have a really great habit of picking the wrong guy. It seems like every time I get close to someone, they are the worst case scenario horrible for me. Since I realized this months ago, I took a break from dating to better understand myself and what I want in a person. I felt happy with myself, my confidence was up.

Last month I met capricorn who was as sweet as could be, we went out, had an amazing time. We saw each other constantly for weeks. He was attentive and fun but there were times he did not respect my boundaries sexually and he insisted he come to my home before I was ready for him to. He also started talking a lot about his ex and telling me he wasn't ready for a relationship at the moment. I was ok for taking it slow. There were times he bashed his ex, she left him. He would tell me that she would get jealous a lot and then tell me about women he was attracted to, it seems like he made her insecure and was trying to do the same to me. Then he went on vacation and I did not expect to hear from him while he was away. I took the time to consider the pros and cons of him. I hoped to not hear from him again because it would be easier to forget him. He reached out to me the day after he returned and we talked for an hour. The next day he sent me a drunk text. I didn't respond after because I was not amused by his behavior. A couple of days later, I texted to just say have a nice day. He did not respond and he did not respond to me today again days after. I see so many posts about capricorn ignoring bs but I really do not want to be involved with someone who is going to test me that way. I have feelings for him but I want to forget him.

How do I pick better people to date and how do I forget this guy who is not good for me?

I don't agree with anyone here.

First: "See it as his lost, not yours" ... that is utter bullshit, and the only thing it accomplishes is to delude you further.

You are asking what you should do to help yourself, the above doesn't help you - it just deepens the color in your rose glasses ... so now, you will totally refuse to accept accountability for your actions.

You are the one here stating you are at a loss for how to make better decisions, so how is telling you to forget that fact, and just believe something false, so your ego will get a boost?

What a crock of shit. And so is this statement: "You deserve better than that" ... you don't deserve better than that. People don't just magically deserve anything they want, just because you say so.

People deserve what they earn. Not better, not worse - what they earn. What they work for. If you're not working for it to improve your life, then what have you earned to deserve it?


Just all utter bullshit, talking out of the ass with the intentions of just soothing you, comforting you ... without any real insight to help the situation, which doesn't help.

If you go along life thinking that you deserve anything you want, and anyone who doesn't cater to that is second rate to you, because it's their loss to not want the Princess Prize (you) ..... only makes you a deluded loser, and not a prize at all.


The prize is the person who knows their worth, and their actions back it up.

Posted by lovingpisces

he did not respect my boundaries sexually
he insisted he come to my home before I was ready for him to.


I did not expect to hear from him while he was away.
I took the time to consider the pros and cons of him.
I hoped to not hear from him again because it would be easier to forget him.
I didn't respond after because I was not amused by his behavior.

A couple of days later, I texted to just say have a nice day. He did not respond and he did not respond to me today again days after.
I see so many posts about capricorn ignoring bs

He didn't respect sexual boundaries and came to you when you didn't want sex ...... but, you fucked him anyway, didn't you? be honest - you know you did.
If you did ... then he is treating you exactly as you allow him to. And since you allow it, that means you deserve it.

Then the next four partial quotes above describe how you don't communicate to him. You have certain feelings and views, but, expect him to read your mind. You expect him to adhere to what you consider your values, without ever communicating it. Alls you say is what he is doing to you, and you don't like it .....yet, you don't reference in here where are actually communicating to him what you don't or do like. You tell us that sit back to review the pros and cons, but, never tell him .. you just ignore him and hope that he gets the hint to leave you?

That's ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ the problem, not him. A person is going to treat you exactly as you allow.


You can't neglect that, and then get treated the way you don't want ... then turn around and take the attitude that you're worth more than you are.



If you want to pick a better person to be your partner .. then you have to be a better partner, by treating them with respect, rather than ignoring them in hopes they forgive your ignorance and rush to make you their queen.

How someone treats you is according to you, not them.

Posted by lovingpisces

I hoped to not hear from him again because it would be easier to forget him.

And here it is.

That's the problem .. not the man. It could be any man, and this would still come to bite you in the ass .... that's why this thread exists, because you make bad decisions for yourself. Isn't the premise of this thread

You make the wrong choice because you're not actually participating with the other person ... you're just floating around in your bubble.

Twice you used the word, "pick"


A guy to be in a relationship with isn't a product ....

Reminds me of the nearly dead (from suicide) Aqua boy who keeps saying he has bad luck with women. Luck?


Really, so you're going to put your eggs all in one basket based on luck of the draw?




rflmao



If your potential partners are going to be whomever you pick out, (or luck out with the nearly dead boy) ... then you will be at this same place for the rest of your life.

OR ..... until you realize that you are suppose to use considerations and judgments to determine the value of the other.



BINGO .. right?




lol

Posted by YellowSubmarine

I have girlfriends that harp on and on about how they “deserve better” and how they’re being “treated like shit” – my response is always the same. If you allow it, then you deserve it.

Real Talk.

Posted by YellowSubmarine
I have girlfriends that harp on and on about how they “deserve better"

Starlover's knitting circle?

This is very common for Pisces people .... without direction or purpose, the Fish will flap about, aimlessly

It's a curse. But, I absolutely love my Mars in Gemini.

Know your worth, act upon that knowledge, be introspective and just keep living your life and doing things that make you happy.

Posted by P-Angel
I don't agree with anyone here.

First: "See it as his lost, not yours" ... that is utter bullshit, and the only thing it accomplishes is to delude you further.

You are asking what you should do to help yourself, the above doesn't help you - it just deepens the color in your rose glasses ... so now, you will totally refuse to accept accountability for your actions.

You are the one here stating you are at a loss for how to make better decisions, so how is telling you to forget that fact, and just believe something false, so your ego will get a boost?

What a crock of shit. And so is this statement: "You deserve better than that" ... you don't deserve better than that. People don't just magically deserve anything they want, just because you say so.

People deserve what they earn. Not better, not worse - what they earn. What they work for. If you're not working for it to improve your life, then what have you earned to deserve it?


Just all utter bullshit, talking out of the ass with the intentions of just soothing you, comforting you ... without any real insight to help the situation, which doesn't help.

If you go along life thinking that you deserve anything you want, and anyone who doesn't cater to that is second rate to you, because it's their loss to not want the Princess Prize (you) ..... only makes you a deluded loser, and not a prize at all.


The prize is the person who knows their worth, and their actions back it up.

I am not looking for validation of any kind. I need real answers and while someone said you are harsh I need what my friends will not tell me. Full disclosure- I am not confident in my choices with men because I had a very abusive marriage that I had to leave for my safety. Since then, I have dated and am cautious with what I discuss about my marriage but there is some fear of ending up in the same situation. When some alarm goes off like in this case, I still second guess myself

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by lovingpisces

he did not respect my boundaries sexually
he insisted he come to my home before I was ready for him to.


I did not expect to hear from him while he was away.
I took the time to consider the pros and cons of him.
I hoped to not hear from him again because it would be easier to forget him.
I didn't respond after because I was not amused by his behavior.

A couple of days later, I texted to just say have a nice day. He did not respond and he did not respond to me today again days after.
I see so many posts about capricorn ignoring bs

He didn't respect sexual boundaries and came to you when you didn't want sex ...... but, you fucked him anyway, didn't you? be honest - you know you did.
If you did ... then he is treating you exactly as you allow him to. And since you allow it, that means you deserve it.

Then the next four partial quotes above describe how you don't communicate to him. You have certain feelings and views, but, expect him to read your mind. You expect him to adhere to what you consider your values, without ever communicating it. Alls you say is what he is doing to you, and you don't like it .....yet, you don't reference in here where are actually communicating to him what you don't or do like. You tell us that sit back to review the pros and cons, but, never tell him .. you just ignore him and hope that he gets the hint to leave you?

That's ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ the problem, not him. A person is going to treat you exactly as you allow.


You can't neglect that, and then get treated the way you don't want ... then turn around and take the attitude that you're worth more than you are.



If you want to pick a better person to be your partner .. then you have to be a better partner, by treating them with respect, rather than ignoring them in hopes they forgive your ignorance and rush to make you their queen.

How someone treats you is according to you, not them.

click to expand

Do not make assumptions about what I said and did not say. I wrote a short post not the full details.

I actually did not have sex with him that day. I was on the way home when he tried to invite himself and I said no because that is not what the plans were. He did come over days later.

The second time we had sex he was too rough with me. I told him a few days after that I was not comfortable with it that it scared me. He apologized and said he did not realize he was too much but then last week he made a comment that I just want to be gentle in a condescending way.

Posted by YellowSubmarine
@P-Angel may be harsh, but it is exactly what the OP needs to hear.

The comforting messages above are nice, but they will get you n-o-w-h-e-r-e.

I have girlfriends that harp on and on about how they “deserve better” and how they’re being “treated like shit” – my response is always the same. If you allow it, then you deserve it.

Wake up, speak up, and claim what you believe you deserve – else you will continue in the same pattern.

I came here for honesty. I know many pisces have a knack for making poor choices in partners. Coming here for me is a way to learn how to improve on myself so it does not happen to me again. I have been working on myself as a person for so long, on the inside and the outside. My confidence was shot after being hurt for so long by a bad husband and it took a while but I love myself. I date but I get scared that I will make the same mistakes even though I want a partner.

So with that, it would be nice to hear how others consider someone as a potential person to get to know or date