Im not too sure what brought this mood on, but I cant help but feel that life is grand, despite how much is wrong. I miss my father alot, but he made his choice and all I can do is look back smile at all the good memories I had with him and thank him for giving me the qualities I have as a man. My mother is terminally ill and it makes me sad, but I still have hope for her becuase shes a strong woman, but even if things dont pull through, I will have no regrets. She has lived a full life, laughed much and was loved by many people, can someone really ask for more? I came from nothing, going to foodbanks to get something to eat, missing Christmas's altogether. I still remember vividly those red and blue lights hitting the wall when I was younger. I dont regret any of this though, its all shaped and molded me into what I am today and I wouldnt take any of it back. I just cant help but feel grateful for what I have and looking forward to whats in store, I feel like Im headed into something great, I dont know what it is yet, but something grand is bound to happen. The one thing I do regret is all the amazing people that have faded out of life over the years that I never really said goodbye to, but are still gone. I dont regret meeting them however, the memories just seem bittersweet and I cant help but wonder where life has taken them, what choices have they made. Im sure I sound pretty crazy right now, but Im not. Im happy, and I like to think that maybe I have found some peace, that I never knew before. I used to hate my real mother Carol, she abandoned me when I was a few months old and then forgot about me altogether and I can begin to say how much I used to hate her for it, that little boy in 2nd grade crying on Mother's day when all the other kids were making there cards. It doesnt bother me anymore, she made her choices. I would never want her back in my life, but for once, I dont really care anymore thats shes not in it. I dont know, for everything wrong, I can think of 3 things that are right. I do know that I can bear my name proudly, I am the last male of my bloodline. I dont know what lay in store after our life expires, but I like to think w.e it is, my father is proud of his son.
