update : pisces/ cancer soap opera

Welp,

I said I wouldn't get in 2 deep with my pisces ex. Of course I was lying 2 myself. We had fun. We partied, we drank, we had sex, we professed our undying love for each other. we spent 2 whole weekends together. We were so mushy even in restaurants. Talked about marriage and kids (lol)...talked about our dreams. We had joy, we had fun we had seasons in the sun. UNTIL...

That friday I wore that incredibly sexy ensemble. My fishy had major probs with guys checking me out so he proceeded to try & be a macho man & curse every guy that even looked my way. A few guys bit the bait and I got upset with my fishy for putting me in harms way. When we got to his apartment (ah who am I kidding, the hotel room) the arguement escalated.

This was not our usual fight. Me telling him a piece of my mind and him telling me a piece of his. Both yelling, I don't want to be with you anymore....then calming down and talking rationaly.

No, this was a doozie. I won't go into specifics but it was BAD. I can't believe it happened. For two water signs we sure can be EXPLOSIVE!

We still made love afterwards. But it was weird. The next day after I gave him the silent treatment, I let it all off my chest. I said a lot of things. Some I meant. Some I was very harsh about. Some I said to intentionally hurt him.

We talked the next day and I explained some things about life to him. He said he never had anyone explain things to him...and he needed me...to be his shrink (wtf, I only have a BA in psychology). he explained to me that he's having trouble transitioning into a man & needed me to be there 4 him. We talked for hours.

He's 32....7 years older than me...but he's still a young boy. I'm a babygirl at heart so we vibe on that level.

I go out of town. He leaves a message apologizing for all the hurt he's caused. He says he's been "sick" and still is "sick" and doesn't know when he'll get better.

We talked the next day and I explained some things about life to him. He said he never had anyone explain things to him...and he needed me...to be his shrink (wtf, I only have a BA in psychology). he explained to me that he's having trouble transitioning into a man & needed me to be there 4 him. We talked for hours.

He's 32....7 years older than me...but he's still a young boy. I'm a babygirl at heart so we vibe on that level.

I go out of town. He leaves a message apologizing for all the hurt he's caused. He says he's been "sick" and still is "sick" and doesn't know when he'll get better.

There he goes making himself the victim again. He's probably in a funk now about his life and actions towards me. Right now he's probably rolling up a joint or taking shots, or asleep......in his car. He'll probably wonder what the hell kinda next move he should make to get his life on track. He won't be down for long tho. Oh about thursday, he'll say to himself, "I'm not gonna be down on myself...like bob marley said...the road is rocky but it feels good to me". Repeat weed & alcohol & denial.

He'll call me and say "I love you baby". And even though he's hurt me I'll say "I love you too". And we'll repeat hurting each other, lying to ourselves, & loving each other.

Maybe we'll hit rock bottom together. Maybe we'll rise to the highest of heights together. Maybe we'll get great at this love thing together. Maybe we won't. Maybe we'll find other mates and be apart. But there's one thing that's for certain, we'll be together. Always. He's my soulmate and that'll never change.

Fun story, thanks for sharing. A few random thoughts and questions....

Looking sexy in a good way, or in a flesh way? I remember my ex getting steamed anytime I had a positive conversation with an attractive woman in her presence.

Would you still be pissed if no guy took the bait to fight him and he still acted like an aggressive ass?

Making love usually implies there was love before or after the coital event.

Sleeping in a car because he's got no apartment?

Why do you think he is your "soulmate"?

I welcome the questions. They will help me learn more about my situation....to bring more 2 the surface. So thanks.

I have 2 admit I was pretty provacative. High waisted short shorts...leopard print top...f**k me pumps. Honey I was looking sexy in a good and a flesh way. :wink:

he didn't get into a full out fight. But he could've if I wasn't pushing him along. Yes I would have been pissed. We both had a few shots that night but he should've been thinking to protect me more. He was provoking fights. I told him when he's with me its our world. He shouldn't be concerned what guys say or if they look at me. Because that will always be the case...I'm hot. :smile:

We made love, yes. There's always love. Even when we fight. There's always that love tension. You know that "I hate u!!!!"..."stop saying that baby...I love u lets make love". So disarming, so sweet, so dsyfunctional.

Yes he's homeless. Felt weird typing that. But yes he's homeless, wow, I dated a homeless guy. And jobless, we'll he sells things like clothing, incense, and oils. He makes enough to get by but not to own a home. He's been homeless maybe 3 months.

I know he's my soulmate. He was just made for me. We have that unspoken love. That 4th grade love, that love love. There's a little spot on his chest where my head fits perfectly. There's a energy. That energy that everyone sees when we go out. We're electricity...we fell in love the first day we met. I get him, he gets me. I don't even think the word love properly conveys what we have (had?)...He is me and I am him.

Plus I called a psychic once and she said so without me even asking. In fact she asked about him.

Like I said, my ex got pissed at me when I attracted other girls. Cuts both ways. I didn't wear any provocative clothing because it wouldn't have worked anyway... girls aren't like guys.

Soulmate. I hate that word. Sounds cheesy and bastardized. But assuming I did believe in it, I would say you and the fish are not soulmates. You have intense passion and desire for each other, and you happen to understand each other in nonverbal ways at times. Sounds strange, but the more we like someone, the more we rationalize their behavior and interpret in ways that conform to what we want to believe -> i.e., he gets me.

Intersting.

What would you say soulmates are?

Like I said, I think that term is really played out and meaningless.

I think people can establish mutual trust and understanding independent of attraction, but it takes effort.

I believe that too. And you may be right about that soulmate thing. But then again you may be wrong.

I don't necessarily think that our soulmates are who we should have relationships with. Sometimes there are better people for the job. I think that on a different plane of existance lives the type of love you have with ur soulmate. Vibrations match on a different level other than what we exist on. On this level, the union seems inadequate and unhealthy. But there's something, somewhere. & sometimes it all makes sense.