what's been going on underneath the surface....

well, let's see i seem to not only change constantly but in slow flow way. i got the gentleman talk about how i really have 2 think before i do or say a thing. it's not that great of thing and they have 4 yrs. for me to be a good upright person they can seen out into the world and be proud of. yeah talk about a chanllenge.

well, anyway, my sister Alesia, has been hinting that when i do things i have an idea an preconcived notation of what i'm doing to piss people off. and that i intend to get my way to manupilating people. when i don't. ihavn't been at least consniouslly. and it contuines to look that way. i don't like it at all. i don't intentiatly. like that when i do the dishe's wrong so evnetually i get banned so i won't be forced to do them. well, not true i don't like to but i do it becuase other's won't. not because i don't want to but out of nessicate. help. i don't want to appear a jerk and a mastermind, even if that's what i'm doing i don't think it conscously. help. well things are going okay w/ my mom. uhm. elction day tommrow
ttul
take care
bye
until then

James the13th

I sometimes do that too. If I can't get a reaction out of someone in a normal way, sometimes I will start a fight just to get SOME kind of response out of them. This does not make for harmonious relationships. But, the worst feeling to me is when someone shuts down and won't tell you how they're feeling. I would rather they scream at me and at least get their feelings out rather than stonewall me and not say anything. I don't know if this is a Pisces trait or a trait of my rising sign, Scorpio.

Anyway, I understand what you mean.

you people understand each outher?

i understand waht ur trying to say but it's not intatnonal nor is what i want to do.

Nej, min skat, det her kan man slet ikke forstaa.....

uh, what was that?

"That" was Danish, counterattack for "intatnonal", if you explain, I will..

please explain...

OK, word for word: "No, my dear, this here one can for sure not understand". Now it?s your turn; I can?t sleep at night because of your intatnonal!

oh, well. my think is that i appear to do things out of wanting to be manuliative. but in truth, i don't nor if i did which i seem to have did was all below my consouinsious. a part of my sub-concious.

I think its suppost to be maniacal or manic perhaps its manipulate. Why do I care what it is. O.K. maube the my is I? and the nor is know? leive out the I in front of seem and add an s? I give up.

Could be a shortening for: international tate non alcoholism ? (mental shrug!)

well the lesson is that i'll have to think doubly more then i ever thought i'd have too as such an elarier age. i hate it. worse it'll get more of thinking and planning and see the round picture.

you know tate he is not an alcoholic nor is he icelandic, Mr tate is a lost soul right now out on his own as I understand it. He does drink a little but as the brits he isn't a proper alcoholic like his father and I he may arive there someday but not yet. as for this 13 boy you need to think and push yourself a bit you need to see the whole picture.

Sorry, didn?t mean to offend, playing with foreign words can misfire. I wont be back until I?ve refreshed my old BA degree in english, seems I didn?t get it right the first time.

it's okay, turtle. Thanks, Jake i'm ussually good at it. just some days i just don't want too think anymore. it stinks. well i'm going too karate class today, first time.

intatnonal - intentional.

okay. thanks, can't go to karate calss till next week. thrus.

well i got in trouble agian. okay, listen. i took some paper to study on while i was working. well i was most defintely on the clock. and i shouldn't have done that. I should have know better. well i left it there. well instead of telling them that night i told them in the moring. about six twenty in the moring. well i told dad first. and my sister by the time it was seven was ready to go. whaterver on that. well i got and i on the way to get it. i got the talking of how i shouldn't have done that. true. but did i know my dad couldn't hardly move. No, i was never told this nor did i hear him complian or slow down more then usual. he won't tell me it would worry me. and how i should have know better and that i was killing him and making him belif that i was retarded. which i;m clearly not. and just because i did taht doesn't mean retardation. well every know and then i do such like that. well if i hadn't it i would have lost point in my scince calss chemistry which would have lowered my grade and i would have had no help on my test from it. and not to meniton i would have lost 1/2 off on my princples of marketing class. ouhghh. so mad. so when she said that she would get me fired if i did anythig like that agian. okay, i understand. for the work that i don't do.

well i do. i opened one day and not to meniton that i have done a lot. i have not sat down and eaten for 30 mins non stop. nor have i not been not working or to make a dilluison of such. it was like no i have been. and my mom said that.

and later that evneing in the kitchen, jo said i needed hit in the head for waking poeple up in the morning. uh, no.


ttul
gtg
until then


James the13th

rofl

what is so funny turtle? well a whole lot has happened. i didn't mop and sweep and well as i should have. and thus since i dind't take the punsihment as sirously or done eficently as i should i can't call her mom for a while. i aplioglized. all dad said was etheir lay low or the extent of it or apoligize. i don't know if i would have come up w/ it or not. but she accepted and that's good.

is it bad that i don't care for my family or friends as long as i get the grade. is that bad or to abmious and uncaring? oh well think of it later.

i have a great grandma she's 99 yrs. old. she's a treasure honestely. she's a good woman. and she's at my grandma's house. this at my mother's side. and she problay be here for a while becuase her other daughter's husband died so we brought her out to here so she won't know about him being to sick. and then he died. but she doesn't really know or understand or at least she doesn't speak or talk of it.

ttul
take care
becareful
until then

James the13th

Bingo! just found out what rofl means! But, Jamesy, you obviously care a lot for your family. Nobody would dare make fun of that.

i know.thakns. so much.

is it bad that i don't care about the vs. the grade thing?

Hello?

well important stuff.

we have the store. ucle has the family land or what was. And he'll probaly cut it up smaller and sell it all....

Instead of keeping a bit of it for himself. That's what i would do. Then again i'm not someone who's going to need money soon.

I'll be leaving for a youth trip fri. so i won't be on till sun even.

Karate's tongingt can't wait.

went to karate last night. we did some sparing. and jon was like Whoa! i bet u and balad balad bala. He think he can indimate people in calss will not intedimation but by saying he can beat them up and i'm sitting here. uh probalby not 2 of thosse guys have blue belts. Not everything is about who can fight the best. Oh and he's gotten all attached to this girl. well no promblem until she introduces him to her friend who had a thing for her. Yeah? Yes. So of course they start fighting the friend and him over the internet. So he won't addmit that this girl whould do this to him. Being male i supppose.

i'm leaving this afternoon.
so bye

ttul
take care
becareful
until then
James the13th

i'm sick at home w/ sore throat. i had a concert tonight. but i'm not going. it may end up snowing.

ttul

James the13th

i've been doin' better. thanksgiving is going good so far. ANd guess what i got 21 on my Act YEah!!!!

yesterday i went to school and by 4th hr. i was feelin' offly bad like i was goin' to throw up. and i have this humangous esicmo u know pople who live up in alaksa jaket w/ the hood on. and i was cold. she siad to me are u cold. i said no i'm ill. and she then just laughed. she couldn't understand what i said. i told her no listen more closley to what i say. i said no im ill. i'm glad to see u like to make fun of the ill. then this senior was all upset don't speak to her like that she's a lady u can speak to me like taht but not her. u speka to her like that agian and i'll throw u out the window.
i was think woha. i'm sick. she shouldn't be laughin at me. and what gentleman would let anyone laugh at the ill. Was i right in my thought taht i should have spoken to her like that or should i aplogize.

is no one going to talk to me?

amazing he talks to himself on the board, amazing.

yeah it's just like me being in a house full of people and goining in and out of the room. i do that.

It has been a pleasure to know you two Jameses. You have been good company during my Chemo-grounded last three months. Now I?m said to be in the clear and intend to celebrate for a "few" weeks. If you get hickups now and then, it?s just me lifting a glass (or two) to James - and Freebird too, of course! Merry Christmas.

Yeah for Turtle....What GREAT news my friend...to be in the clear and to have gotten through all that you have. I can just imagine how wonderful you feel and you have every right to celebrate life and YOU. I too am right now going to lift my glass and toast to my favorite Turtle friend...

Here's to you and here's to life, the best gift we can receive.

Love to you 🙂

Freebird

I hope you are all right.

Thank you so much, you are just wonderful! Last month was awful, not knowing if the treatment was working and waiting for results. (Something I wouldn?t wish on my worst enemy if I had one) As I?ve just got an extension to terrorize friends and family some more: Life is short but precious, do enjoy it while you can, believe in miracles at all times - and JT; how about a dozen roses for Den?

Glad to hear much good has come out of ur pain. so have fun eating and tearing at the jokes and the laughter the fun and the satire.

hear hear again for turtle. i'll drink 2 that or well okay most anything.

okay, we picked up my brother bobby from the airport in lex. and he finally got there. and we went to fridays and ate out. and we had a good time. i gave him iraq playing cards issued from the definsive govt on the regime of saddam. my mom's b-day on the 7th went well as expected the holidays aren't her fav. time of the yr.

Birthday greetings to your mom, pass it along will you! Make the holidays as enjoyable as you can for your mother, please, after all she is gonna be the grandmother of your children one day, isn?t she?

hopefully if she lives that long. i think she will. there be so lucky though there have so much family. i just worry about what i'll have to expain her condition becuase she has deppression. i think by the time i have childeren she'll be remarried.

I lie when nessecary, it's true. if i think it'll come of no harm i will. or when it's to save someone trouble when they don't need it then and know what they did. i'll do it. i lied 2 my mother about a ride last week. when i shouldn't have. but u know what that's the frist time i've lied in a good 6 months. i mean u know nealry 3/4 a year. i'm not saying i lied alot before then but i mean. u know 16 yr. teenager in a house full of 5 other teenagers. and 3 parrents not all in the same house. I say by my peers standers that's pretty good. u see i know how i just don't. my mom said, if u lie to ur parents ur lie 2 anyone. i supposse it to be ture but i haven't lied 2 my mom at all since i've know her. and my dad since about 5 or more yrs. my mother just recently and before that uh i'd say about 5. i just don't.

well finals coming up at the the end of the week. i can't wait!!!

got a re-scheudled concert tommmr. ugh. oh wel it's a christmas concert. i'll be good.
hope everythings going well with u all.

ttul
take care
bye
until then


James the13th

I will be making a trip 2 lousivlle. w/ my mother. and i'll be good. then i'll be back this weekend. And i'll be a good thing. i'm so happy. we'll be staying at the hyaytt and be going 2 see a play somewhere in a small theater.

me and my muter had a good trip to louivlle. we stayed at the hyatt didn't have 2 good of the view of the river. but it was fine. we saw this funny satiric morden day version w/ a worldy twist of the life and birth of thosse involed in Jesues Christ and all of that. Yea. it was really good. good play. done at the bunburry theater. and then of course the next night sun. we went 2 see the nutcraker. it was okay my first ballet that was live. and it was good the second half not the first. i could do w/ out. but u know everyone must have some generalized concept of the ballet it's just rong to live in a culturared socitey and not 2 be. So anyway went to the galt house and that was fun!!! they have really good oments. the one thing taht makes an omlet tatste even better is if u use honeybutter. oh my goodness it's good.

okay, i don't know why i'm donin this but i add the letter s as the end of some words. i can't fiquire out why. i'm gettin' annyonied that i'm doin that. i don't know it's wired. and what' wrong w/ wearing white after labor day.

i'm goin to ashland to vist an uncle who is now even more ill w/ re occuring cancer in the barin. so get 2 vist him.

hello where is everyone?

Hey James most of us are winding down from the holidays. Im getting ready to take myself to Texas to visit the parents. Their bringing me to Mexico WOO HOO.
Very Very excited! I have friends in Ashland you are talking Wisconsin right? Beautiful there Lake Superior is the best therapy for us fish. Something magical about that place. Hope everyone is well and till next time all take care! 🙂

no, no. the palce is named in honor of where henery clay's estate is named. the one w/ the oil compnay. whom ever named that place where he lived most of his life gave the town that name up towrd on east I64 which gave to the oil company.

glad 2 see u all are doin well.

hello, u all doin' okay. let's see i'm not failing spainsh 2 yet. knock on wood. and i'm not finshed w/ my act packet. and i'm ugh tired and i havne't started on my resume yet. oh well. the parents went off this weekend sat. and be back little after noon. a well deserved get away for all but espicall them. they have no door. ahhhahh. we got to open and we had fun. had to tell mother that her calling the store is not allowed. she can call during emergancy's but u know when the ermgancy is out her hands and in to the drs. or whatever then call. i'll deal w/ asap. but she can talk to me later. she cried when i told her. i asked if there was any other way to say it nicer she said no. well i'll tell her again and have sissy be on the phone to check my tone and how and what i say.

not much going on here. just waiting for my solo competion this weekend. then i'll be done for a while. and i'll be able to have a little more time to breathe.

love u all.

promblems loom:
incident: got lost all the way 1/2 to a location nelary 70 miles away after visting my sister alesia on a capus at colloge went east instead of west. eeeuh.

okay i had a great birthday on the 25th. got a phone from my grandma and mom to keep up w/ me. but when she wanted to find me she didn't call... dumb huh? for there benfiet not mind, yet.... okay got $ 25 and the same amt. in a barens and noble gift card. Yea!!! book time. oh and i'm staying in the 70 range in Spanish 2 knock on wood.

okay, promblem this new mexican girl i think i'm fallin for and summer the daughter of one of my karate instuctors. ugh. she's a pisces and maybe that's why i'm feeling a connection.

oh well. new chruch is done being built going sun.