why would a pisces to this to himself?

Hi to all!! I'm new here in the pisces board, I have a couple of threads in the Astrology and Relationship forum. Bare with me this might be a lil long. It's been almost four months since i've ended my secret love affair with my pisces boss actually ex boss my position is higher than him now. I was promoted more than a couple of weeks ago. I'm a libra btw. I have it all, loving friends and family, my own house, nice car, a career that i love, and I'm dating a wonderful guy(pisces again)Well anyways, I should be happy right? But everytime i see my ex my heart just goes out to him.He's still with his scorpio gf (married with kids)I know he's not happy i can feel it. She's still hovering around him all the time constantly bugging him and very suspicious almost obsessing over him. I've been in my position for three weeks now and I discovered something, that our company lost three accounts because of this woman because of her moods and her tantrums over the phone and couple of business meetings, we would have lost two more if my ex hadn't gone through all the trouble chasing after those clients. I know for a fact that my ex love two things in his life and that is his family/kids and his career/company. I dont understand why he would continue to put up with his gf's behaviour when he's already at the brink of loosing everything he has worked his whole life for. I'm at a position where i can fire them both but i wont coz i would look like in his eyes a bitter ex which i'm not.I dont think its love coz he has flirted with me a dozen times this past month sometimes in front of her, and I know for a fact that he denied his relationship with this woman to my immediate family mainly my parents and my two brother in laws who his friends with.I know the things that he says about her.I've seen how he treats her sometimes and never did he treat me that way when he was with me.My question is
to you all pisceans here in this board, aside from love what other reason would you stay in a relationship like this? Is pisces aware when they are being used or taken advantage of?

MsPisces

I'm not blaming the other woman, If anything I'm trying to help her see what kind of man she is involve with. He's not cheating on her with me, I wouldn't allow it, He's flirting but I'm not responding. I'm trying to help them.

"He's not cheating on her with me, I wouldn't allow it"

I thought you said though that you HAD been having an affair with him previously? The way I see it you're better off staying well clear of the whole situation. Let them get on with it, if he wants to stay with her and she's tolerating his behaviour then that's their call. To be honest I'm not surprised she's suspicious considering his behaviour.

If there are issues workwise deal with them in your position as their boss but don't let any personal feelings influence any action you take.

I remember the situation, Chloe ... my lovely Pisces friends in here haven't heard the whole story. We are a compassionate bunch, and any words they say to you are FOR your benefit, not against you.

And what they say is true ... you are still in love with him, and very confused by what he's done. Any woman would be in your position, and I understand why you are still floundering over this.

Fourteen years is a long time to love somebody and then just the ability to turn him off like a light switch.

(( hugs ))

Which is why he is unable to turn you off completely, and likely never will because there is too many moments to just toss aside as if they never existed.

I have no answers for you, and I so desperately wanted to tell you something a couple months ago to soothe your heart ... but, there aren't any words to justify why he did this to you.

Sometimes ... things just end, and there isn't any reasonable explanation for it. I fully understand why this plagues you though, for the pretense of his swimming away was a lie .. a lie in which he flaunts around every day .... and I can only imagine how horrible this must make you feel.

I'm so sorry that your heart is aching like this .. if there were some words of wisdom that would make all this go away, I would certainly deliver them to you, Chloe.

There's no way to cut him from your life, as we both know .... for he is a close family friend and has been for over a decade, so even to let him go from work, solves nothing. The only solution I can see in sight is to harden your heart.

It's hard as hell and will take more strength than a person should have to endure ... but, it's either that or be in torment.

You know ... maybe if you found another male friend to hang out with, then the pain would ease up alittle. It doesn't have to be seriously romantic .. just a man to bond with, to talk to, one who is eager to share things with you.

I'm so sorry .. I know it's not my fault .. but, I'm sorry that you're having to struggle with this ..... 14 years (3 intimately) is a long goddam time to just be written off.

((( hugs )))

"I know the things that he says about her.I've seen how he treats her sometimes and never did he treat me that way when he was with me."

My question is to you all pisceans here in this board, aside from love what other reason would you stay in a relationship like this? Is pisces aware when they are being used or taken advantage of?"



Yeah, we are aware .. very aware, and I'm sure he is also.

This is hard to explain, so bare with me ..... apart of our morphing, our evolution in personal growth requires being with a person to whom is completely different than what we want.

You know that Stones song ... Sometimes you get what you need

Pisces will do this deliberately, sometimes, when we can't find the right road. It's like .. we can see where we need to be, but, keep falling into the same old ditch and can't get our bearings .. we have to become a Fish-out-of-water .. to suffer.

Pisces are very strange creatures in many aspects ... one I'm talking about here is that because we have a dual nature, one being in a dream-state of what we want life to be idealistically .. the other struggles sometimes to find a reality in which to let this manisfest. This probably doesn't make sense ... but, other Pisces people know what I'm saying.

It's like .. imagine if you had a dream that seemed so goddam real, and you knew it had a life-lesson in it, but, you couldn't grasp what it's trying to tell you .... this can be a real-life experience to us. So, what we have to hang onto is putting ourselves in a situation in which we wrong .. all frigging wrong .. so we can find the ability through our error to rise to the surface.

He knows .. he knows, Chloe.

You see, when you two were together, he couldn't give you the love you needed, the love in which he needed to give you being a Pisces. And though, he did indeed love you with all his heart ... it's this all his heart that he couldn't give because your love was hidden in the shadows and a Pisces simply cannot do this. When we love a person, our instincts tell us to wrap our whole world around that person .. wave banners in the air .... "I love this woman" .. and he couldn't. In his eyes, he failed you in being able to love you completely, because giving our loved one our whole universe is the only way we know how to love.

So, the only way he can get over this, to move beyond this ... is to do something that is totally wrong for him. He needs to feel horrible inside, he needs to be guilty ....

.. it has to hurt if it's to heal, and this is a part of our personal growth process ...

Eventually, he'll do what all us Fish do .. he'll dive down into his depths and shed this pain, this torment .. then he'll rise above to be his same old self again. This doesn't mean he'll come back to you because he knows he can't love you as a secret .. he won't hurt you like that anymore and still keep his sanity.

However, until it's time to dive into the dark/cold waters of his conscience to heal .... he'll continue to suffer in his grief for what he did .. or, more accurately .. what he couldn't do.

This isn't an excuse for hurting you the way he did with his lie .. it's only an explanation as to why a Pisces would deliberately be with a person who is horrible to us and for us.

A lot of people confuse this about us ... they think that we hook up with a low-life because we have some hidden desire to rescue the poor sod in some way ... this is a fautly assessment ..

.. we do this to fix ourselves ...


((( hugs )))

Hang in there .. one day, he'll go missing emotionally .. the lights will be on, but, it will appear as though nobody is home. He'll be quiet, distant .. very broody and walk around with a vacant look on his face. When he does this, it means he's finally ready to shed his misery and live again.

P Angel

"I remember the situation, Chloe ... my lovely Pisces friends in here haven't heard the whole story. We are a compassionate bunch, and any words they say to you are FOR your benefit, not against you."

I know that's why i choose to post it here. I'm prepared for some bashing.

I'm just so torn right now, I'm trying to figure out what to do. To fire them both is not actually what's best for the company which is supposedly my priority. If we let him go it'll be a big loss for the company coz he's such a creative and talented person. If I let her go she could sue the company for a lot of money and ruin his career/ruin his life.

My heart just goes out to him, there was this one time the womans husband and kids came over to the office to bring her lunch, they were all eating and laughing looks like a complete and happy family and my ex was in his office alone eating by himself and very aware of what's going on. I wanted to go in there and just keep him company but I couldnt. I've been on that side and I know how painful it is. Then there's incident where they were suppose to meet for lunch outside, she went first and he was about to leave when this client suddenly showed up. She got so mad at him came storming in the office and started cussing him in front of everybody, she was waiting in the restaurant for half an hour.Oh the best one was when she saw him flirt with me, he tries to make her feel better by buying her coffee and some pastry then as soon as he hands it to her she throws it in the garbage.

P Angel sometimes I just want to block it. But everytime I see those things my heart just sinks. I don't show it to him ofcourse.

"Hang in there .. one day, he'll go missing emotionally .. the lights will be on, but, it will appear as though nobody is home. He'll be quiet, distant .. very broody and walk around with a vacant look on his face. When he does this, it means he's finally ready to shed his misery and live again."

I hope it happens soon. I wanna see him laugh again.