Cancer man silent treatment!!

I'm a capppy woman been with him for 8;months. Really positive until very recently. We would regularly text since we met and he calls more than I. I've always been this way. On the odd occasion when we've had a disagreement I've found myself initiating contact which he then follows through. Recently I had a rough week and didn't text and neither did he. I got frustrated sent a message basically annoyed by the lack on contract made and since then (a week) he has been silent. I've never experienced this before and didn't realise how upsetting it is. I've only sent one other text basically saying how annoyed I am and reminding him of all the support I've offered him over this time. I really don't know whether to just ignore it although it's so hard or phone and demand to know what's going on eg does he want to end things or have I hurt him in some way. My text has gone unanswered.

You saying you are annoyed just pushes him back even more, because if you're annoyed he will mark this as his doing and he will leave you or ignore you untill you leave him, but this might not be the case. You told him you been annoyed because he didn't contact you? He's prob asking himself why you didn't contract him and rlly he doesn't deserve this shit, if you want to talk to him, text him or go to him and talk to him, he might have had some hard time and you weren't there and that might be causing this or maybe not, could be 100different reasons. If he doesn't want to talk he's immature and you shouldn't be with a man like that if you're a mature woman.In healthy relationship you can't rlly demand anything, expect anything or so, you should like a person as he is and stop trying to change or fix him, ask yourself why do you like/love him, why were you with him, and what's causing this lack of communication, many people point out the other person while in reality it's their own fault, if you can't see , go see him face to face and ask him, talk to him, discuss rather than argue, because when you argue you only show you're not interested in truth, you're intereted in wining argument no matter the cost, Cancers are emotionaly bound and vulnerable for people they love and care about, you should try to be more sensitive rather than attacking, attacking and telling how annoyed you are will not solve a problem, talk how you feel but don't raise your voice and try to discuss things, we don't like when people scream on us or try to say something while commited on angry emotion while not seying things from our point of view, from his point of view you might be the evil one while you're seeing him as the evil one, if you want to figure shit out go ant talk to him face to face, don't text or call, thats just bullshit and the biggest mistake people make, you should never talk about serious shit , love , relationships over a phone, because the distance is huge, you need to be next to each other to really feel what you have to say and vibe with each other. Goodluck, Caps and Cancers can be a really great combo 🙂

Thanks. We are actually reasonably mature people so I'm not sure how it's become so difficult. I hear you about sensitivity it's just difficult from a practical point of view to try and pursue him when I'm not getting any feedback but I understand your point that of my texts are seen as aggressive it can be off putting. Not possible to go there straight away unfortunately so I thought Id phone which I don't normally. A bit intimidated as if he doesn't answer then I feel like there isn't much more I can do. I'm just a practical person. I just like black and white scenarios even if it's bad news eg he'd like to move on I'd rather that was clarified as opposed to silence. It makes it difficult to understand what's happening.

Well if you can't go there, call him, if he doesn't pick up write a long and real message, don't be afraid to say how you feel and try to express these feelings as good as you can, change world annoying for example i'm not feeling appreciated and respected when you do this or that, try to avoid these huge bad words, write your heart and sould out, i know it's difficult for cappy to do this, but don't be afraid, cancers and all water signs have huge emapthy and they understand people thats why we often put the ones we love in front and care about them more than we care about ourselves, say something like i really like or love you , but people should be happy with each other, talk with each other and be with each other, not ignore and be cold, if relationships doesn't bring happyness what's the point of it really, if hard work goes unapreciated and you get nothing in return but a cold shoulder what's the point of having one, just tell him in your own words and be sencere, it might take some time but he will either text you back or will get in touch with y in couple of days, i've heard many cancers do that because they're slow, but you know not all of us are like that, i think it depends on the moon and other placements.You know him in real life, so goodluck to you, you should really both sit down and talk with each other what do you want from each other and what do you want from this relationship, what are your goals in life, and how can you both support each other be there for each other despite some diffferences 😉

Ok thanks again. Never experienced anything like this before so ill have to swallow my pride and at least try and hope for the best or at least clarity. Thank you

I can only speak from personal experience with my Cancer man.

Like you, I did NOT see it at first, he is actually very communicative normally, and we can have pretty deep chats, and I can even chastise him and let him know something bothers me and he listens and we figure it out.

However, in certain circumstances -like for example if he is overwhelmed in general, If I have hurt his feelings, or if he is being crabby -he can give me the silent treatment.

The first time it happened I thought out relationship was over, and I sent him a couple of messages that he read and completely ignored. I was horrified. Never had a guy behave like that before. We ended up not talking for three weeks because neither of us would budge.

In the end I gave in and messaged him "I miss you" and he said "I miss you too".

The second time he gave me the same silent treatment, I decided Iw as not going to budge. This time, I sent him a message saying how much I cared and then left him to it. After two weeks HE came back to ME saying he missed me.

Now, I have gotten better at it.

First of all by avoiding the silent treatment in the first place, by being careful with my harsher words, giving him space when he is crabby, and being REALLY careful to not tell him he has hurt me (he HATES thinking he has hurt me) and I try and say everything I need to say much calmer, by voice and not text, and waiting until he is not crabby anymore. This way we avoid most silent treatment.

If he DOES give me the silent treatment, I now just forget my pride totally, and send him messages - even if he ignores them, I send him messages to be silly, show him my funny face, make him laugh and after a day or two he realises he is being a baby and he stops it and we laugh about it.

Now in my situation it has been worse, as we started dating right after he was bereaved and was not in a "good place" so he is more crabby than usual and definitely very afraid of me hurting him. Coping with this has required change from me. I have had to drop my pride and realise and see how sensitive he is and that when he is ignoring me it does NOT, not even close to mean that he does not care.

But it is treetrunk behavior - so you know - let it calm down, and leave him for a while then send a sweet message. Cancers hate confrontation and he wont come back until he feels it has blown over. But let him know it is hurtful behavior.

I really do think this is a very common cancer reaction to hurt!

Anytime 😉 Rememer the quote, it's okay to lose your pride over someone you love, but it's not worth to lose someone you love over your pride . 🙂 Most relationships fail because couples fight with pride more than they work with love 😉 Don't go with pride, but always know your worth 😉

Well I called and no answer which is a first and a sign he's not happy! Did as suggested and droppedv the armoury and said what I truly felt whilst owning my bs too. No idea what will happen but I felt like I had to demonstrate some realness rather than just routinely attacking.

Posted by rakac
Anytime 😉 Rememer the quote, it's okay to lose your pride over someone you love, but it's not worth to lose someone you love over your pride . 🙂 Most relationships fail because couples fight with pride more than they work with love 😉 Don't go with pride, but always know your worth 😉

I agree with this 10000%

Well I sent it and got a reply... He apologised for delay and said he'd been unwell. Blardy hell I actually think this worked!!! Lol. I'm very happy right now that he's at least communicated! But it's definitely a sign to communicate much better on both sides. I'm so glad I ignored friends who said just to ignore him and then he'll come running. I know I'm not perfect and hate being vulnerable and showing emotions too much but it's one of the things I've learnt I've had to do. Fingers crossed! I really do appreciate the input regardless of the outcome. Thank you again.

My one rock solid piece of advice if you care about your Cancer man: Chuck away the rule book and ignore your friends. Their behavior is very easily misinterpreted

I'm happy for you 🙂 If you need any more advise or you have any Q's please let me know i might be able to give you some options 🙂 Goodluck for you 2, cappy and a cancer are really lovely couple ! 🙂

Posted by rakac
Anytime 😉 Rememer the quote, it's okay to lose your pride over someone you love, but it's not worth to lose someone you love over your pride . 🙂 Most relationships fail because couples fight with pride more than they work with love 😉 Don't go with pride, but always know your worth 😉

Wow this is cool man! 🙂 i have my eyes on you 😉

I feel like copying it and pasting it as my status right now 😛