Is it cheating?

I've been dating a Cancer man for a little over 2 months. We have not had "the talk" yet and he still has Tinder on his phone. I spend at least 3 nights a week with him. I like him but not sure it's going anywhere long term. He's a bar manager and works long hours, so we spend most of our time together at the bar or at his house. We've had 1 true date.

My question is this...a man I dated 17 years ago and then again 6 years ago contacted me recently and we've been talking. He lIves out of state and qanrs to come visit for a weekend.

Would you consider this cheating since me and Cancer guy aren't exclusive? Please no judgments.

I suggest you have that talk.

I wouldn't consider it cheating, but I also wouldn't really want to see the other guy. If you guys gave it a try twice and it did not work, it probably won't work this third time. If you are looking for a long term relationship you should make it known to the bar guy and see where he stands. But if you do decide to see the other guy, I wouldn't consider it cheating.

I wouldn't consider it cheating but if your conflicted have the talk with the guy and see where y'all are and then make the decision from there.

That's way too early to talk about dating each other. Just keep it light and see where his mind is at first?

What type of person is he?

The moral of this story is how do you be loyal if you like someone? and the other may not be at all?

You've written about this guy for a good month now maybe have the talk and decide if it is worth continuing, it seems like a lot of work for both of you. And you've seemed to be a lot more into him than he is into you, if the talk isn't as successful as you hope, maybe find someone who is also into you as much. Dont stick around and try to "convince" him to be into you, you will both be happier as a result.

Posted by sagiluv
No that's not cheating because your not in a relationship with cancer...

Is that because he is a Cancer?

Posted by leowww

Posted by confusedlibra78
I've been dating a Cancer man for a little over 2 months. We have not had "the talk" yet and he still has Tinder on his phone. I spend at least 3 nights a week with him. I like him but not sure it's going anywhere long term. He's a bar manager and works long hours, so we spend most of our time together at the bar or at his house. We've had 1 true date.

My question is this...a man I dated 17 years ago and then again 6 years ago contacted me recently and we've been talking. He lIves out of state and qanrs to come visit for a weekend.

Would you consider this cheating since me and Cancer guy aren't exclusive? Please no judgments.

I would consider that dating...3 times a week.. Over 2 months.. I don't spend that much time with a guy.. I'm not dating. Are you using the fact that he has Tinder on his phone as justification for seeing your new guy?

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No, I'm just not sure how into him I am. I really, really liked him at first but his inability to leave his house, the drinking, the long hours, etc are wearing on me.

You would definitely hurt him. And if he finds out, he might end it

Posted by lexci
I wouldn't consider it cheating, but I also wouldn't really want to see the other guy. If you guys gave it a try twice and it did not work, it probably won't work this third time. If you are looking for a long term relationship you should make it known to the bar guy and see where he stands. But if you do decide to see the other guy, I wouldn't consider it cheating.

The thing with other guy ended the first time because my ex tried to kill himself when we broke up, so I left this guy to take care of him. The second time I left was because I wasn't communicating properly (admittedly one of my biggest relationship problems) and I dropped him due to a miscommunication. I definitely can see where you're coming from, though.

Posted by hollyhock
Bar manager who is on tinder despite hanging out with you three nights a week for a few months. Let me guess....you don't see Cancer guy on the weekends.

If it is not going anywhere long term....and you have not had the talk yet, and cancer guy is still on tinder, then you can see whomever else you want....but just be aware that Cancer guy can, too (and he probably is).

I actually see him every Weds, Sat night and all day Sunday and I spend Tuesdays with him during the day when my son is in school. Everyone at the bar knows about me.

Not at all, and I've already advised you on multiple occasions that your bar guy is a dead-end. If you're looking for something more, it's not with him.

@ConfusedLibra,

The two of you are not in a relationship.

Please avoid ANY games.

If you're looking for a relationship, but you're having reservations about his night life style , speak to him about it and see where it goes.

Good Luck!

yes, unless you consider telling him, imo.

because, you're 'not sure it's going anywhere long term'.

and the fact that you're asking the question in the first place.

and the tinder thing, you didn't say whether he's seeing or talking to other girls or not, just that he has it on his phone.

the respectable thing would be to first break it off or at least tell him what you're doing.

Posted by leowww

Posted by confusedlibra78

Posted by leowww

Posted by confusedlibra78
I've been dating a Cancer man for a little over 2 months. We have not had "the talk" yet and he still has Tinder on his phone. I spend at least 3 nights a week with him. I like him but not sure it's going anywhere long term. He's a bar manager and works long hours, so we spend most of our time together at the bar or at his house. We've had 1 true date.

My question is this...a man I dated 17 years ago and then again 6 years ago contacted me recently and we've been talking. He lIves out of state and qanrs to come visit for a weekend.

Would you consider this cheating since me and Cancer guy aren't exclusive? Please no judgments.

I would consider that dating...3 times a week.. Over 2 months.. I don't spend that much time with a guy.. I'm not dating. Are you using the fact that he has Tinder on his phone as justification for seeing your new guy?

No, I'm just not sure how into him I am. I really, really liked him at first but his inability to leave his house, the drinking, the long hours, etc are wearing on me.

I see. Then stop wasting your time...?...guy #2 doesn't sound any better tbh...

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Lol, yeah, I really am. Something is keeping me around that I can't figure out. Probably because he's so caring and sweet. Something I haven't had before.

Posted by rabidtalker
You've written about this guy for a good month now maybe have the talk and decide if it is worth continuing, it seems like a lot of work for both of you. And you've seemed to be a lot more into him than he is into you, if the talk isn't as successful as you hope, maybe find someone who is also into you as much. Dont stick around and try to "convince" him to be into you, you will both be happier as a result.

Actually, my friends say he's way more into me than I am into him. They can tell by the way I talk about him vs how I've talked about guys in the past.

"Dont stick around and try to "convince" him to be into you, you will both be happier as a result." - that's exactly why I don't want to bring up the conversation. I want him to be into me because he actually is, not because he thinks it's what I need to hear to stick around.

Posted by confusedlibra78

Posted by rabidtalker
You've written about this guy for a good month now maybe have the talk and decide if it is worth continuing, it seems like a lot of work for both of you. And you've seemed to be a lot more into him than he is into you, if the talk isn't as successful as you hope, maybe find someone who is also into you as much. Dont stick around and try to "convince" him to be into you, you will both be happier as a result.

Actually, my friends say he's way more into me than I am into him. They can tell by the way I talk about him vs how I've talked about guys in the past.

"Dont stick around and try to "convince" him to be into you, you will both be happier as a result." - that's exactly why I don't want to bring up the conversation. I want him to be into me because he actually is, not because he thinks it's what I need to hear to stick around.

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if he is truly into you more than you are into him, then anything you say right now wont hurt it. You wont have to be tenuous about it or tiptoe around. if you date someone for two months seeing each other 3+ times a week, it is normal to bring it up