Capricorn and rehab.

Welp, for those of you who have read a couple of my prior threads (hello by the way =P)
you would probably know the basic breakdown...

my Cappy and I broke up a few weeks ago, but living together we made the best of it and he suggested couples therapy etc etc and we have had a rough little time of it -overall things are much better now.

Following may be out of chronological order:

Hand in hand with our own relationship issues he had PTSD and severe depression, which, being myself a Virgo and him being a Cappy I figured could be par for the course really, but his mental state really was worthy of concern.
Part of his behaviour was due to a drinking problem... probably not so much drinking more than other guys I know but because he has a lot of medication he uses for his depression and anxiety etc and drinking problems are compounded in combination (obviously) and he hadn't been honest with his doctor about that in the past I am guessing.
On top of that, once I told him the drinking was a deal breaker he went to his doctor and was prescribed something which lessens your desire to drink? I am not sure what it is, but it affected his libido. A lot.
No sex, probably at most once every couple of months... maybe not even at all, and never for more than 5 to 10 minutes...

Wow, what a choice and what a struggle that became for both of us. To let him drink, and have relatively normal sexual situation or to stay strong and live like flat mates...
Would we get through this.
Well, in the end not so well. hehe. as you know we broke up, and in part the lack of intimacy and trust that is built during love making or what have you was a huge factor in my confronting him about past misdeeds and mistakes.
Which I will be honest I am very glad of.

Anyway, the point of this post is to talk about the next 9 or so weeks. He is going into a rehab centre tomorrow and I am so happy and at the same time so sad and a little bit missing him already.
No drinking, no smoking, daily therapy sessions and lots of exercise will be so good for him.
I cant wait for it to start but I will be stuck at home nearly 2.5months waiting for him to get back so we can retry with a clean slate.

Wish us luck, and if anybody has had any personal experience with rehab or similar please share here, I would love some perspective.

Thanks.

Posted by JasonDeluca
That's cool I wish I had gone to rehab to get clean. Well, I kind of went to a rehab called JAIL. Yeah I sobered up the hard way but have been clean almost two years (drinking), I still smoke herb.

I think it all comes down to hitting bottom. I was at rock bottom and tried to end my life, well in doing so I ended up assaulting a Police officer and I went bye bye. It's a long story and trust me it's not that exciting.

I lost everything, had a job making $ 20 an hour, lost my apt, lost friends (which was a good thing) but in the end I have a new appreciation for life.

This will be good for your cappy. The chance to get to the bottom of some deep issues will help greatly. I still go to therapy and can't imagine not going.

So I guess my point is that it looks like there is new horizon for you. It's great that you are so supportive although you might have been an enabler but you two will deal with those issues during rehab..

Be well-

Wow, Jason that's amazing. Thanks for your input there...
Jail huh? The ultimate rock and a hard place - kudos and congrats on two years though!

Yes, the rock bottom thing is very true, I am not going to go into detail about everything on a public online forum but needless to say I agree totally and he hasn't quite gotten there yet and we will see if he ever has to, I guess.
You say yours is a long and not very exciting story, I get that. It isn't glamorous or uplifting to go through. But you can be and you are Victorious in the end and that's where it counts!

I was very worried about my role as enabler, I have scoured Alcohol Anon sites for information for friends and loved ones because I just didn't know how to operate. In his best interests and in my own.
I knew I didn't want his problems to become my problems but how to support someone with out that happening was frightening to me.

Plus, if you aren't used to dealing with an alcoholic things have a surreal haze to them. Issues are never seen as they truly are, things are always moving on you.
they manipulate and lie, problems that are small seem bigger to distract you from the real problems and vice versa- it's all like dancing on quick sand.
Until you recognise or like myself I recognised but -I finally got the courage to say those words. Out. Loud.
Alcoholism and addiction. Are. Here.

Okay, that sounds incredible but I don't know how we would ever get to Mexico!
I have no problem with thinking outside the box but I just don't know how we would practically achieve it.
Also, in his current state I would have trouble trusting his ability to use or explore alternative drug use... I don't know if he has the head space for it.
Meditation seems safer for now, but thanks for information.

And secondly, yes, I am so craving some therapy or counselling- I need some outside expertise for this. Definitely, I work 66hours a week not including two hour daily commute I just don't have time to arrange or process myself on top of it.
But we will get through it!
Thank you so much for your empathy Jason, much appreciate it.

I deserve the finger wag, challenge accepted!

Cheers Jason, thanks soo very much.

Wagtail, hang in there. It sounds promising. I sense the love amidst the chaos. The choice for rehab is excellent and the fact that he wants to go says alot. I wish you both all the best, peace.

Hi Clueless! Yes, you are right, he has attended AA in the past. This time he needs more personalised attention though... and I cannot wait to get counselling!

Aquapisces, thanks for the positive vibes. There is love, it's never easy that's all... thanks for the best wishes too.

Hey Sweet! Thank you for the kindness, luuuurve the e- hugs lol back atcha x