Lmike8402
@Lmike8402
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 23 · Topics: 1
Desperate for my Taurus GF back!!!!
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Why does this girl hate me so much all of a sudden?? It's been a week since I've spoken to her. All I can do is give her the space she requests for now. Right? I'm so lost and confused. I just want to be able to talk to her as two adults... Will giving her space really help a Taurus?
"I was needy and clingy near the end because I saw that I was losing her. So it ends."
Here is your answer. Go back to the man that you were, the man that she first met, the man that she fell in love with. We've all been there, love can tear us apart - there is no doubt about that. It takes time to get over things, and you will no doubt be replaying all the moments (good and bad) in your head.
But you have to return to who you were, not this needy and clingy guy. We should get rid of him as soon as we can. I know its hard. I hope that you can return back to who you were, before all of this crap. Maybe she'll return to you - maybe she won't. Who really knows? The important thing is to get the both of you back on good terms with each other; you've both done/said some things that were in the heat of the moment. Just get back on good terms with each other and take it from there I think. It sounds like you do need some space and time apart to think things through.
I hope that you can sort things out and that you can enjoy your life once more. 🙂
Here is your answer. Go back to the man that you were, the man that she first met, the man that she fell in love with. We've all been there, love can tear us apart - there is no doubt about that. It takes time to get over things, and you will no doubt be replaying all the moments (good and bad) in your head.
But you have to return to who you were, not this needy and clingy guy. We should get rid of him as soon as we can. I know its hard. I hope that you can return back to who you were, before all of this crap. Maybe she'll return to you - maybe she won't. Who really knows? The important thing is to get the both of you back on good terms with each other; you've both done/said some things that were in the heat of the moment. Just get back on good terms with each other and take it from there I think. It sounds like you do need some space and time apart to think things through.
I hope that you can sort things out and that you can enjoy your life once more. 🙂
Also, I think writing her a letter would be a good idea. Send it to her, then give her a lot of time and space. Let her know all your feelings, thoughts, opinions.... there's nothing better than writing it all down and getting it all out. 🙂
Posted by BellaBulleautiful
you play to many games,and the friend thing was basically a betrayal.I don't think you're gonna fix this.Taurus and Aqua are not really meant to be together anyway.I wish I could give you comfort,but I'm not going to blow smoke up your pooper.
I do agree here, I too, don't think you'll be able to fix this and return to a relationship status. However, if you do then well done for fixing it. I think the best you can hope for is being friends. That is just being realistic and honest. Going out with the friend like that will only look bad on the other end. She clearly got jealous over that situation and it'll make things harder for you.
There isn't too much point in going over everything. Like I said, write it all down, send it to her and get that weight off your shoulders.
Posted by BellaBulleautifulPosted by Aquaguy7
Also, I think writing her a letter would be a good idea. Send it to her, then give her a lot of time and space. Let her know all your feelings, thoughts, opinions.... there's nothing better than writing it all down and getting it all out. 🙂
I do however agree with this.
fwiw,I love Aqua men and find many of your traits very appealing and endearing.but don't think I could live with one either,without constant battles,and we do not like battles. 😢click to expand
Thanks. 🙂
I really do think that closure is important - once you get it all out then you can breathe a little easier. As for the whole Aqua/Taurus - I'm sure that there are some successful stories in this combination but I also guess that it comes down to many factors.
"Taurus also needs their freedom as well. Aquas are not exclusive just to the freedom thing. It's HOW it's perceived."
ABSOLUTELY! Obviously it depends on a lot of other variables too; however, I am a FREEDOM seeker for sure. I like "ME" time/space, etc. It can be perceived as a bad thing, but I like to MISS that person and vice versa - keep them wanting/longing for more 🙂
I can't add anymore than what everybody else has already stated. Plus, I have never dated an Aqua, so I can't speak to that, but the desperate and clingy thing...ummm, yea, not really a good look for a man or woman to be honest.
ABSOLUTELY! Obviously it depends on a lot of other variables too; however, I am a FREEDOM seeker for sure. I like "ME" time/space, etc. It can be perceived as a bad thing, but I like to MISS that person and vice versa - keep them wanting/longing for more 🙂
I can't add anymore than what everybody else has already stated. Plus, I have never dated an Aqua, so I can't speak to that, but the desperate and clingy thing...ummm, yea, not really a good look for a man or woman to be honest.
Mah girls! You make me so proud. Right on down the line.
Too much flip flopping, too many arguments. We like an even keel. A nice breeze and a lovely day. Not constant bickering and disagreements. Ups, downs, all rounds. Even in the depths of a knock down, full out argument we want to know at the end of the day that you still love. Because after the shit storm dies back, YOU are still loved. It's life, roll with it and get up swinging. You didn't fight for her. WITH her, not FOR her. There's a difference. And buddy boy you NEED too. Because we are definitely worth it.
Too much flip flopping, too many arguments. We like an even keel. A nice breeze and a lovely day. Not constant bickering and disagreements. Ups, downs, all rounds. Even in the depths of a knock down, full out argument we want to know at the end of the day that you still love. Because after the shit storm dies back, YOU are still loved. It's life, roll with it and get up swinging. You didn't fight for her. WITH her, not FOR her. There's a difference. And buddy boy you NEED too. Because we are definitely worth it.
She knows I'm loyal. She knows I wasn't doing this to hit on her friend. It was only 2 weeks since the break up. She knows me better than that. I can't tell if she really just hates me now, or if she's making something out of nothing to justify leaving. There was a point when we were genuinely in love for a year. Can it really come to nothing at all? She even told me my touch irritated her at the end. And she felt like sleeping with me was just sex. How can a woman flip 180 from love? We argued, sure, but 85 percent of the time, everything was fine. We cuddled, kissed, cooked dinners together, went for walks, talked about marriage and children. At one point, I was the one that hung the moon to her. She was head over heels for me. I don't get it.
Yes, ladylibra, her response was unacceptable. I was and am still very disappointed, but I don't want things to be like this. If it doesn't work, fine, but I don't want to be hate when there's no reason for it... When is a good time to talk to her where she's able to listen? I'm not so sure an email would work seeing how she responded to my apology.
Yes, ladylibra, her response was unacceptable. I was and am still very disappointed, but I don't want things to be like this. If it doesn't work, fine, but I don't want to be hate when there's no reason for it... When is a good time to talk to her where she's able to listen? I'm not so sure an email would work seeing how she responded to my apology.
And she is very contradictory about the leaving and space thing. How can you break up with someone, then get mad that they leave? What was I supposed to do? She referred to my leaving as "off somewhere being selfish." What does she want....
I went with my heart a few times and got thrown out the door. I went with my heart when I thought she wanted an apology for hanging out with her friend, then again when I thought she wanted to hear that I forgive her. My heart's not very trust worthy right now unfortunately..
That's what loves all about, baby. It's hurting and pain, and then, victory....at the end. Ah...satisfactory, but is it ever worth it when it's boring as hell? Nope. Because once that happens, you will feel love is meaningless after all.
I want to do whatever I can, but anything I say or do right now just gets her really pissed off. She associates me with horrible things right now. I just need to give her time to sort out her feelings and let the anger subside. Right? I just can't decide if she really hates me, or if it's even healthy to hold on at this point. Thanks for checking out my post and responding though, Valerie. Always good to get any perspective.
I want to do whatever I can, but anything I say or do right now just gets her really pissed off. She associates me with horrible things right now. I just need to give her time to sort out her feelings and let the anger subside. Right? I just can't decide if she really hates me, or if it's even healthy to hold on at this point. Thanks for checking out my post and responding though, Valerie. Always good to get any perspective.
Thanks for the wake up call bella. Can you help me understand the irrational hatred? Being mad at apologies and so forth.
Wow! This was my 1st love except I wanted to maintain. As you described, we played "near, near, far, far" a lot. At times my aqua seemed so recptive to us, rekindling us and shoring up our friendship so that we could grow together. All would seem positive, upbeat and then the next day, it was if a switch flipped. This person who I just finished joking with was now cold, distant and downright nasty. It's as if he wanted to rip my beating heart out and stomp it beneath his shoe.
We played this game for like 2 years after we broke up. Each time we'd try to talk again and things would go well and within weeks fall apart. It was so depressing and draining. It hurt so much to have him leave repeatedly because although in my core I knew he'd return, the "last fight" was so bad that I always feared it was the last time.
On an astro-level, when fixed signs come together, they can sympatico on everything...except one thing. When you peel away the issue, strip it down to its bare bones, you'll find that the arguments boil down to one of your core traits. In the case of me and my aqua, his freedom, my control.
It took a while but once I identified by controlling nature and made efforts to change, it took him a while to accept it. He was conditioned to assume that I would fight back, I'd argue, I'd try to control him in some way. So where I remained calm during this new phase he push me and push...looking for the old routine. One day I simply said to him, no more. We will not do this anymore. You're my friend,I'm yours, let's stop hurting one another...and it stopped. Cont...
We played this game for like 2 years after we broke up. Each time we'd try to talk again and things would go well and within weeks fall apart. It was so depressing and draining. It hurt so much to have him leave repeatedly because although in my core I knew he'd return, the "last fight" was so bad that I always feared it was the last time.
On an astro-level, when fixed signs come together, they can sympatico on everything...except one thing. When you peel away the issue, strip it down to its bare bones, you'll find that the arguments boil down to one of your core traits. In the case of me and my aqua, his freedom, my control.
It took a while but once I identified by controlling nature and made efforts to change, it took him a while to accept it. He was conditioned to assume that I would fight back, I'd argue, I'd try to control him in some way. So where I remained calm during this new phase he push me and push...looking for the old routine. One day I simply said to him, no more. We will not do this anymore. You're my friend,I'm yours, let's stop hurting one another...and it stopped. Cont...
This Taurus is very irrational. She was born in Japan on April 24th 1986.
We do not see eye to eye on just about anything. Which is fine by me. I always try to understand her, but she never takes the time to hear my side. Her motto "You finally understand me. Why are we still talking about this?" She told me once she didn't see the point in me reading and learning about real estate. That I should go out and meet people in the field. I was blown away. How can you not learn about something you don't know? Anyways I digress. I'll try to be as objective as possible.
She keeps saying she doesn't know who I am and she doesn't trust me at all. This stemmed from me smoking the night we broke up. It escalated when I nonchalantly told her I quit my job and moving to a different country. (We live in Tokyo right now). She called me a coward and was clearly upset but trying to hide it. So I leave to get lunch. When I come back, I tried to talk to her a little more about it. She keeps saying she doesn't know me at all, and that I'm running away. I tried to explain that I'm not running away, I stayed in Tokyo for her and now that we aren't together, I'm leaving. I can't be in this environment. We fight some more, she throws our rings into the toilet. Finally I said stop.. I don't wanna do this. Let's just talk rationally. She starts crying really really hard. Saying she still cares. Then she lays down which is basically an invite for me to lay down with her and hold her. She reaches over and says, I just want to hold you. So we did for a second and we both were very emotional. I told her it doesn't have to be this way, but she said it does, then I leave again. From there, everything happened as said from my first post. (please read that again and I'll explain her side) In a nutshell, she was very upset and need tons of space. Emailing her an apology was invading her space and disrespecting her wishes. She had forgotten about the incident and me reiterating the apology reminded her of it. She had to cancel her trip with her friend because she was so upset. But "@# $ # you, get out of my life?" That's harsh.. As for accepting her apology. That is completely beyond me. Reference to the first email? How chipper I sound? She did tell my friend in the beginning "I know I broke it off with him, but I can't believe he gave up on everything." Did she expect me to stay? I don't get it...
We do not see eye to eye on just about anything. Which is fine by me. I always try to understand her, but she never takes the time to hear my side. Her motto "You finally understand me. Why are we still talking about this?" She told me once she didn't see the point in me reading and learning about real estate. That I should go out and meet people in the field. I was blown away. How can you not learn about something you don't know? Anyways I digress. I'll try to be as objective as possible.
She keeps saying she doesn't know who I am and she doesn't trust me at all. This stemmed from me smoking the night we broke up. It escalated when I nonchalantly told her I quit my job and moving to a different country. (We live in Tokyo right now). She called me a coward and was clearly upset but trying to hide it. So I leave to get lunch. When I come back, I tried to talk to her a little more about it. She keeps saying she doesn't know me at all, and that I'm running away. I tried to explain that I'm not running away, I stayed in Tokyo for her and now that we aren't together, I'm leaving. I can't be in this environment. We fight some more, she throws our rings into the toilet. Finally I said stop.. I don't wanna do this. Let's just talk rationally. She starts crying really really hard. Saying she still cares. Then she lays down which is basically an invite for me to lay down with her and hold her. She reaches over and says, I just want to hold you. So we did for a second and we both were very emotional. I told her it doesn't have to be this way, but she said it does, then I leave again. From there, everything happened as said from my first post. (please read that again and I'll explain her side) In a nutshell, she was very upset and need tons of space. Emailing her an apology was invading her space and disrespecting her wishes. She had forgotten about the incident and me reiterating the apology reminded her of it. She had to cancel her trip with her friend because she was so upset. But "@# $ # you, get out of my life?" That's harsh.. As for accepting her apology. That is completely beyond me. Reference to the first email? How chipper I sound? She did tell my friend in the beginning "I know I broke it off with him, but I can't believe he gave up on everything." Did she expect me to stay? I don't get it...
Tubby. You think if I give her time and we meet again as friends, we'd have a great time and might be able to rekindle something? Seems like you did when you guys kept breaking up. I know what everyone's telling me, but if there's even a little hope.. I want to try..
Dude, you can be right or you can shut the fuck up and listen.
You can sit here and cite example after example but at the end of the day, fights are never about the "thing." ie, if you're fighting over the fact that she burnt dinner, it's not the dinner. Maybe it's the fact that you are always late or that she is forgetful.
When someone love-hates you,you're not giving them something and frankly, as much as she appears to be pushing you away, your non-chalant "I'm leaving" responses are pissing me off and I'm not dating you.
Taureans NEED security and something about aquas don't set right with us. You're one sign that can "be there" but not "BE there."
Something about what you're doing is making her feel as if she's in jeopardy. You need to identify what that is.
With that said, she definitely does have her own crap to work on but you're here to fix to you right? Focus on making you right before attempting to correct her.
You can sit here and cite example after example but at the end of the day, fights are never about the "thing." ie, if you're fighting over the fact that she burnt dinner, it's not the dinner. Maybe it's the fact that you are always late or that she is forgetful.
When someone love-hates you,you're not giving them something and frankly, as much as she appears to be pushing you away, your non-chalant "I'm leaving" responses are pissing me off and I'm not dating you.
Taureans NEED security and something about aquas don't set right with us. You're one sign that can "be there" but not "BE there."
Something about what you're doing is making her feel as if she's in jeopardy. You need to identify what that is.
With that said, she definitely does have her own crap to work on but you're here to fix to you right? Focus on making you right before attempting to correct her.
I want to shake you!
You're so focused on getting back together while simultaneously stating that you guys fight and are incompatible. You sound like me and I get that you don't get it but you don't have to lose her.
Stop trying to get her back!!!
Focus on what made her want to leave. Taurus likes peace. You equal turmoil...love but turmoil.
You both need the arguments to stop. Don't make the mistake of focusing on the breakup. Stop isolating it. Go back to way before it ended. I guarantee there's a trend in your discord. It's the same issue over and over but morphed into some new issue.
Once you figure out what you're doing wrong, things have a chance. You have to accept that for the time being, you two may need a break. But misconstrue that to mean she truly wants you to go. I don't know how soon you're leaving japan but if she really meant as much as you claim, why are you going?
You're so focused on getting back together while simultaneously stating that you guys fight and are incompatible. You sound like me and I get that you don't get it but you don't have to lose her.
Stop trying to get her back!!!
Focus on what made her want to leave. Taurus likes peace. You equal turmoil...love but turmoil.
You both need the arguments to stop. Don't make the mistake of focusing on the breakup. Stop isolating it. Go back to way before it ended. I guarantee there's a trend in your discord. It's the same issue over and over but morphed into some new issue.
Once you figure out what you're doing wrong, things have a chance. You have to accept that for the time being, you two may need a break. But misconstrue that to mean she truly wants you to go. I don't know how soon you're leaving japan but if she really meant as much as you claim, why are you going?
Posted by BellaBulleautifulPosted by LadyLibra12
*As for the cigarette thing, I can understand why she wouldn't want you to smoke, but she really is being unreasonable by reacting like that if it was just a one-time thing.
*I'm confused about the leaving thing. She says that you are selfish for coming back and not giving her space, yet was she upset that you left?
*If you were broken up and went out with her friend strictly as friends, then that is NOT cheating. Also, if she tells you that she 'needs space' or doesn't want you around, who is she to tell you to "knock it off"? She has no right to boss you around if you have broken up or are 'taking a break'. It bugged me while reading this that she would get mad at you for doing things when to me you guys had already broken up and apart.
*Her response to your apology was unacceptable. She is being uncivilized and rude and there's no excuse for that. You tried to be decent and make things right with her, and she was completely indecent. Her response lacks manners, dignity, and class.
I don't think there are women any more completely opposite than Taurus women and Libra or Gemini women.we are not even in the same universe I reckon 😉click to expand
Couldn't agree more. Taurus women and Libra or Gemini women -- we are on opposite ends of the earth. Our dating perspective, ideals and just treatment of relationships in general are night and day, from my perspective, and having a lot of Libra people in my life (not as many Gemini's, but my mom is a Gem/Tau cusp, and we are NOTHING alike in respect to relationships).
And the fact that she "doesn't know you" and "doesn't trust you" means that she doesn't feel secure with you. You don't make her feel as if you're locked in and what do ya know. You're so not locked in that you're leaving the entire country?!?!
Moving away will be the best thing possible.
What we have gathered from further reading is that
* You always try to understand her (Understanding a key thing for relationships)
* You never see eye to eye on anything (On anything? I mean I could understand a few things - but anything, that's not good buddy and you know it)
* She doesn't trust you.
* She doesn't know you.
She is disappointed in you not fighting for her, she feels that you gave up on her too easily. Which must have disappointed her, but then do you want to fight for this girl? Do you really want her anyway? This sounds like a tough situation and a situation that maybe needs to end.
By the sound of it she has accepted that it is over. Maybe you'll be friends, but you must be careful not to read too much into what happens and think that things will go to better times. Reality is very cruel. So please be careful.
What we have gathered from further reading is that
* You always try to understand her (Understanding a key thing for relationships)
* You never see eye to eye on anything (On anything? I mean I could understand a few things - but anything, that's not good buddy and you know it)
* She doesn't trust you.
* She doesn't know you.
She is disappointed in you not fighting for her, she feels that you gave up on her too easily. Which must have disappointed her, but then do you want to fight for this girl? Do you really want her anyway? This sounds like a tough situation and a situation that maybe needs to end.
By the sound of it she has accepted that it is over. Maybe you'll be friends, but you must be careful not to read too much into what happens and think that things will go to better times. Reality is very cruel. So please be careful.
Posted by Lmike8402
We do not see eye to eye on just about anything. Which is fine by me. I always try to understand her, but she never takes the time to hear my side.
Her motto "You finally understand me. Why are we still talking about this?"
She told me once she didn't see the point in me reading and learning about real estate. That I should go out and meet people in the field. I was blown away. How can you not learn about something you don't know? Anyways I digress. I'll try to be as objective as possible.
1. You don't see eye to eye. You don't care. She does. She wants you to agree...with her. She's controlling and hates that you just don't give. When you do give/agree with her, she feels at peace.
2. You agree with her...that's all that matters. She doesn't need to acknowledge your pov because you've already acknowledged hers.
Long story short...as I thought from the beginning. She's controlling, insecure and stubborn.
You're self-absorbed, detached and stubborn.
^that was me and the aqua.
I had to learn to agree to disagree.
He had to learn that detachment and disagreeing for the hell of it is toxic too.
When we both eased up on our negative traits (matured), we could actually talk. We haven't argued since then and where we're simply friends now, there were opportunities in the past to come together.
You make her feel insecure and she naively put a test of your loyalty. By not fully reinvesting, by not doing what it takes to secure her heart, you failed the test.
Truth is, she shouldve never tested you but that's what immature folk do. Neither of you has matured yet and that's why you can love and hurt so strongly.
Are yall reading the same posts I am?
*shakes head*
These people telling you to give up are delusional. You need space and personal growth...both of you do.
She cares for you, you care for her. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
The two of you can't be happy together until you both can master your negative traits. You bring out the worst and best in one another. The odds are against you two from the jump but if you work on improving you and she does the same, amazing things can happen.
*shakes head*
These people telling you to give up are delusional. You need space and personal growth...both of you do.
She cares for you, you care for her. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
The two of you can't be happy together until you both can master your negative traits. You bring out the worst and best in one another. The odds are against you two from the jump but if you work on improving you and she does the same, amazing things can happen.
There is no doubt that they care for each other, that much is obvious.
However, this guy has stated that he is always trying to understand her. Tell me how that can be good? How he always has to try to understand what this guy is saying? It appears to me that he just doesn't understand her needs, feelings or thoughts. Can he improve on this? Shouldn't he have done so already?
We can only go on what we read blah blah blah but to me it seems like the damage has been done. Trust, that's something that you earn over time. She says she doesn't trust the guy. That she doesn't know him anymore. These are not exactly positive vibes from her - does she mean it? Is it just being said in the heat of the moment? They never see eye to eye on anything. I mean nobody expects a relationship to be perfect, you'll have your fall outs, you won't always get along, or agree. But to have such differences is not good for the long-term stability of a relationship. There must be some common ground. No?
I've said from the start that he should write her a letter with his feelings, thoughts, opinions etc and then give her some time and space to think it all through, and likewise for himself. He still needs to return to the man that he was, not this clingy/needy guy that is trying to replay every single moment in he's head. Time apart can be a good thing sometimes.
You have to be realistic, maybe they can get back together but this isn't the movies where we have one big happy ending. This is reality, real life and more often than not your expectations never match reality. That's the cold hard truth. Anyways, Good luck. If they can work things out then that would be great, but things have to change, thats for sure. Let's hope they do. 🙂
However, this guy has stated that he is always trying to understand her. Tell me how that can be good? How he always has to try to understand what this guy is saying? It appears to me that he just doesn't understand her needs, feelings or thoughts. Can he improve on this? Shouldn't he have done so already?
We can only go on what we read blah blah blah but to me it seems like the damage has been done. Trust, that's something that you earn over time. She says she doesn't trust the guy. That she doesn't know him anymore. These are not exactly positive vibes from her - does she mean it? Is it just being said in the heat of the moment? They never see eye to eye on anything. I mean nobody expects a relationship to be perfect, you'll have your fall outs, you won't always get along, or agree. But to have such differences is not good for the long-term stability of a relationship. There must be some common ground. No?
I've said from the start that he should write her a letter with his feelings, thoughts, opinions etc and then give her some time and space to think it all through, and likewise for himself. He still needs to return to the man that he was, not this clingy/needy guy that is trying to replay every single moment in he's head. Time apart can be a good thing sometimes.
You have to be realistic, maybe they can get back together but this isn't the movies where we have one big happy ending. This is reality, real life and more often than not your expectations never match reality. That's the cold hard truth. Anyways, Good luck. If they can work things out then that would be great, but things have to change, thats for sure. Let's hope they do. 🙂
Aquaguy, he said he's always trying to understand her but he also said...
"We do not see eye to eye on just about anything. Which is fine by me. I always try to understand her, but she never takes the time to hear my side."
Why is it fine by him?
Why is he ok with them arguing?
Who would want to be with someone you never agree with and argue with at least 15% of the time—
Read what dude is saying. He's a stubborn ass as is she. He feigns "understanding" but he's as resolute as she is. Arguing with an aqua from a taurus perspective is a test of wills. Guaranteed, she doesn't understand why he just doesn't admit she's right.
Guaranteed the argument reaches epic levels on day 1.
Guaranteed that if they discuss it day 2, he either gives or waves the white flag in some way. Thing is, the other side of the flag is black. He agreed to stop the arguing but his word is for shit.
How do I know this? Smoking. He agreed to quit...for her. It wasn't about truly agreeing, it was about going along for the time being.
Leaving the country? Guaranteed there's a history there. Who ups and says, "I'm leaving the entire country because you don't love me?" Fuck outta here.
Him leaving is no coincidence. His dating her friend, no fluke.
This is an immature aqua male and by definition a bastard. Until he recognizes how much of an asshole he is and sje recognizes how much of a bitch she is, there will be "no change"...hence FIXED.
"We do not see eye to eye on just about anything. Which is fine by me. I always try to understand her, but she never takes the time to hear my side."
Why is it fine by him?
Why is he ok with them arguing?
Who would want to be with someone you never agree with and argue with at least 15% of the time—
Read what dude is saying. He's a stubborn ass as is she. He feigns "understanding" but he's as resolute as she is. Arguing with an aqua from a taurus perspective is a test of wills. Guaranteed, she doesn't understand why he just doesn't admit she's right.
Guaranteed the argument reaches epic levels on day 1.
Guaranteed that if they discuss it day 2, he either gives or waves the white flag in some way. Thing is, the other side of the flag is black. He agreed to stop the arguing but his word is for shit.
How do I know this? Smoking. He agreed to quit...for her. It wasn't about truly agreeing, it was about going along for the time being.
Leaving the country? Guaranteed there's a history there. Who ups and says, "I'm leaving the entire country because you don't love me?" Fuck outta here.
Him leaving is no coincidence. His dating her friend, no fluke.
This is an immature aqua male and by definition a bastard. Until he recognizes how much of an asshole he is and sje recognizes how much of a bitch she is, there will be "no change"...hence FIXED.
Also, yall are the ones living in some alternate universe.
The question is simple: how do two fixed signs get along. Most of the responses are, "they can't" and that's not true. You're greatest teachers are your opposites and your squares. Those types of unions fail due to immaturity...not sheer incompatibility.
You can't be with someone who won't budge without there being fireworks. Imho, this isn't so much about giving up as it is personal growth. His next relationship may go smoother but if he can't tap into why this one failed, he'll still be a bastard 😛
The question is simple: how do two fixed signs get along. Most of the responses are, "they can't" and that's not true. You're greatest teachers are your opposites and your squares. Those types of unions fail due to immaturity...not sheer incompatibility.
You can't be with someone who won't budge without there being fireworks. Imho, this isn't so much about giving up as it is personal growth. His next relationship may go smoother but if he can't tap into why this one failed, he'll still be a bastard 😛
Posted by tubbyscubby
Also, yall are the ones living in some alternate universe.
The question is simple: how do two fixed signs get along. Most of the responses are, "they can't" and that's not true. You're greatest teachers are your opposites and your squares. Those types of unions fail due to immaturity...not sheer incompatibility.
I agree. I don't see that being the case either. People shouldn't generalize like that, two fixed signs can go together very well. Any sign combination COULD work out. We cannot rule out anything.
Posted by tubbyscubby
Aquaguy, he said he's always trying to understand her but he also said...
"We do not see eye to eye on just about anything. Which is fine by me. I always try to understand her, but she never takes the time to hear my side."
Why is it fine by him?
Why is he ok with them arguing?
Who would want to be with someone you never agree with and argue with at least 15% of the time—
Read what dude is saying. He's a stubborn ass as is she. He feigns "understanding" but he's as resolute as she is. Arguing with an aqua from a taurus perspective is a test of wills. Guaranteed, she doesn't understand why he just doesn't admit she's right.
Guaranteed the argument reaches epic levels on day 1.
Guaranteed that if they discuss it day 2, he either gives or waves the white flag in some way. Thing is, the other side of the flag is black. He agreed to stop the arguing but his word is for shit.
How do I know this? Smoking. He agreed to quit...for her. It wasn't about truly agreeing, it was about going along for the time being.
Leaving the country? Guaranteed there's a history there. Who ups and says, "I'm leaving the entire country because you don't love me?" Fuck outta here.
Him leaving is no coincidence. His dating her friend, no fluke.
This is an immature aqua male and by definition a bastard. Until he recognizes how much of an asshole he is and sje recognizes how much of a bitch she is, there will be "no change"...hence FIXED.
Unless he admits to dating her friend then we cannot know that for sure.
Maybe he is. Maybe you're right. But we would need him to come out and say that.
Who says that? He says that! But yes, the reason he is leaving most likely runs deeper than that. He could just move to another city if he wanted to. Or heck - he could stay in the same city but just move the hell on from this girl. But it's up to him with regards to what he does.
I've read exactly what he is saying - we are both quoting the same words. You and I have pretty much had the same view on this topic since the start of it - though we both have different ways of wording what we want to say. Which is why we are now in this current discussion!
Aquaguy I bet we could involuntarily act out their last argument right here.
I used "date" his friend losely. The point is, if he weren't petty, cruel and immature, why would he go there so soon after the breakup. "Oh honey I love you and btw, I had biscuits and gravy with your bff last thursday." As I said, bastard.
She called him selfish. He sounds that way to me. His actions since the breakup have been primarily about his feelings...his detached feelings. I'm still trying to figure out how and where he's been clingy? He sounds like he's always had a foot out the door.
I used "date" his friend losely. The point is, if he weren't petty, cruel and immature, why would he go there so soon after the breakup. "Oh honey I love you and btw, I had biscuits and gravy with your bff last thursday." As I said, bastard.
She called him selfish. He sounds that way to me. His actions since the breakup have been primarily about his feelings...his detached feelings. I'm still trying to figure out how and where he's been clingy? He sounds like he's always had a foot out the door.
Posted by tubbyscubby
Aquaguy I bet we could involuntarily act out their last argument right here.
I used "date" his friend losely. The point is, if he weren't petty, cruel and immature, why would he go there so soon after the breakup. "Oh honey I love you and btw, I had biscuits and gravy with your bff last thursday." As I said, bastard.
She called him selfish. He sounds that way to me. His actions since the breakup have been primarily about his feelings...his detached feelings. I'm still trying to figure out how and where he's been clingy? He sounds like he's always had a foot out the door.
1. I would like it if we did.
2. I agree and I think I said somewhere earlier in the thread at how bad that must've looked on her end (again - we share the same opinion here). Even if nothing happened (like that), it still looks bad and harsh, for her. And it was. It was too soon, he should've gone out with someone else, perhaps. Anyone but the bff.
3. I agree here as well.
Now, let's go for some tea and biscuits. No gravy, thanks!
A man down on his luck can't have a cigarette? It's over, right? Why should it matter? We fight some more.
In the morning, I told her I want to move out and leave.
YOU LEFT! SHE DIDN'T LEAVE, YOU DID!
She cries and says she still cares.
I got all weak and told her we don't have to do this, but she already made up her mind.
"MADE UP HER MIND?" OH, FOR YOU TO STAY?
So I decided I won't leave, but I'll move to another part of town for a month while to give us space.
I left without telling her.
BASTARD
Then I came back a couple days later to tell her,
but she was acting aloof and nonchalant
I WONDER WHY ASS?!
so I did too and left again.
A week later, I came back because things ended in a bad way. I didn't like it. I wanted it to end on good terms, but she wouldn't have it. Called me selfish for coming back and not giving her her space.
I'D WANT SPACE FROM YR LEAVING ASS TOO! WONDER WHAT YOU'LL DO NEXT??
So I leave again.
U BITCH!!!
A week and a half later, she found out I went out with her friend. Just as friends because I don't really know anyone else in this city. She completely loses it.
YEA THAT WAS UNEXPECTED
Calls me and tells me to knock it off. So I said ok and I apologize. Later that night I email her again and told her, "Hey, look, today's conversation ended quickly, just wanted to let you know I am sorry, and I won't talk to your friends anymore." She texts me back and basically said the most horrible things I didn't even know she was capable of. Essentially, "@# $ % you, I want you out of my life."
I was completely blown away. Why—
CAUSE YOU'RE FUCKIN STUPID
Dude, seriously, you left on your own accord, when you leave you take her friend out, you then have the audacity to tell her to "smile 🙂" about the breakup??
As I said, you're a bastard. It's ok. You clearly have a lot of growth to do but from my perspective as a taurus woman who was with an aqua man around the same age (at the time), what's killing her is that you're clueless, you're cruel and you act as if you don't get it nor do you give a shit.
In the morning, I told her I want to move out and leave.
YOU LEFT! SHE DIDN'T LEAVE, YOU DID!
She cries and says she still cares.
I got all weak and told her we don't have to do this, but she already made up her mind.
"MADE UP HER MIND?" OH, FOR YOU TO STAY?
So I decided I won't leave, but I'll move to another part of town for a month while to give us space.
I left without telling her.
BASTARD
Then I came back a couple days later to tell her,
but she was acting aloof and nonchalant
I WONDER WHY ASS?!
so I did too and left again.
A week later, I came back because things ended in a bad way. I didn't like it. I wanted it to end on good terms, but she wouldn't have it. Called me selfish for coming back and not giving her her space.
I'D WANT SPACE FROM YR LEAVING ASS TOO! WONDER WHAT YOU'LL DO NEXT??
So I leave again.
U BITCH!!!
A week and a half later, she found out I went out with her friend. Just as friends because I don't really know anyone else in this city. She completely loses it.
YEA THAT WAS UNEXPECTED
Calls me and tells me to knock it off. So I said ok and I apologize. Later that night I email her again and told her, "Hey, look, today's conversation ended quickly, just wanted to let you know I am sorry, and I won't talk to your friends anymore." She texts me back and basically said the most horrible things I didn't even know she was capable of. Essentially, "@# $ % you, I want you out of my life."
I was completely blown away. Why—
CAUSE YOU'RE FUCKIN STUPID
Dude, seriously, you left on your own accord, when you leave you take her friend out, you then have the audacity to tell her to "smile 🙂" about the breakup??
As I said, you're a bastard. It's ok. You clearly have a lot of growth to do but from my perspective as a taurus woman who was with an aqua man around the same age (at the time), what's killing her is that you're clueless, you're cruel and you act as if you don't get it nor do you give a shit.
I really don't get it tubby. None of my friends seem to be able to either. I'm glad you're on her side and can see from her point of view because I really want to understand. I spent 2 months trying to keep us together before the break up. When I say "clingy" I meant I was being really extra nice. I wasn't being crazy: "Who's that?!" "Who are you talking to?" "Hold me baby, I need you" Nothing like that. Just a couple times when she was being cold, I was visibly upset. She really convinced me it's over! It took her two months but she convinced me. Saying my touch irritates her, there's no future, sex is just sex. They were hurtful things that convinced me it was over. I didn't give up easily. I left to give us space and room to grow. I realize I don't understand her and I have flaws. I wanted to grow. It's just that since then everything that happened topped with the whole friend incident things are completely upside down. I didn't date her friend. I'm sure she's aware of that too. She was upset on the phone, but she was relatively collective. I'm sure she doesn't look at it as a date, as it was not. She saw it as me holding on and being in her business.
We both need to grow a lot. This was a very brutal test. A complete and thorough break up? I failed because I was very convinced. But I didn't stop trying. I gave us space. Just.. how I went about giving us space should have been more mature. I should have been up front about it. Tubby, if you were in this, what would you need now to know that I do give lots of butter. And that I'm not completely clueless to this? What would you need period? I understand that she's upset because I was trying to give off an "I'm tough, this break up doesn't affect me" vibe that resonated in my actions. But that was just an act... It was to show her that she chose a strong man that is able to take care of himself. I'm sure she saw right through it. How can I communicate these mistakes to her. In the mean while, I'm doing a lot of self reflecting and fixing things I need to.
Oh, and I exaggerated we don't see eye to eye on anything. We both love food, traveling, learning, family, laughing. We both are business minded and driven for financial success. When it comes to these things, we can talk endlessly. It's just when we argue, our points do not come across.
We both need to grow a lot. This was a very brutal test. A complete and thorough break up? I failed because I was very convinced. But I didn't stop trying. I gave us space. Just.. how I went about giving us space should have been more mature. I should have been up front about it. Tubby, if you were in this, what would you need now to know that I do give lots of butter. And that I'm not completely clueless to this? What would you need period? I understand that she's upset because I was trying to give off an "I'm tough, this break up doesn't affect me" vibe that resonated in my actions. But that was just an act... It was to show her that she chose a strong man that is able to take care of himself. I'm sure she saw right through it. How can I communicate these mistakes to her. In the mean while, I'm doing a lot of self reflecting and fixing things I need to.
Oh, and I exaggerated we don't see eye to eye on anything. We both love food, traveling, learning, family, laughing. We both are business minded and driven for financial success. When it comes to these things, we can talk endlessly. It's just when we argue, our points do not come across.
PS. I appreciate your anger and honesty, because she's really angry. I'm a bastard to her too. So this is really helpful for me to understand why I'm such a bastard.
We are very compatible when we're not fighting the 15% of the time. That's why I don't want to give up just yet. We have too much in common. Our ultimate goals for the future are exactly the same. How we can to get there is very much the same. When we have fun, boy is it fun. I'm sure tubby knows what I mean.
I just want to get rid of my negative traits and be more mature. This catastrophe has really opened my eyes to how immature I am. This is what I need for myself. What can I do for her?
I just want to get rid of my negative traits and be more mature. This catastrophe has really opened my eyes to how immature I am. This is what I need for myself. What can I do for her?
Irony! I'm chatting up my aqua ex now.
Look. I can't crawl inside her head. All any of us can do is interpret what you say and add personal perspective. So where she mightreally HATE you, I don't think she does. I believe that you two are in the negative space that constitutes an astrological square sign pairing. For my ex and I, the aqua and the leo, it was textbook. It was so frustrating and ultimately, it won't resolve without personal growth.
This is why I said stop trying to get her back. Sometimes men fail to realize that women carry wounds due to our belief that you never acknowledged the pain/hurt that you caused. She's holding on to something and it is maddening to her that you STILL don't get it.
She can't yell loud enough, cry hard enough...you just won't get it.
I can only imagine what it was like to come home after you left without so much as a goodbye. She had to be devastated. She probably was aloof in order to hold it together...tau pushes feelings down. For you to be cool in return had to be heart wrenching. And you left again.
You have to understand that SECURITY is what taurus seeks. The very notion of being with someone who could leave makes us want to erect walls. I wonder if during the course of the relationship she sensed this in you...your ability to leave? I sensed it in my aqua so she probably felt it with you too.
I dunno about all aqua males but your affection can be cool too. This coupled with your overall detachment, not good.
Cont...
Look. I can't crawl inside her head. All any of us can do is interpret what you say and add personal perspective. So where she mightreally HATE you, I don't think she does. I believe that you two are in the negative space that constitutes an astrological square sign pairing. For my ex and I, the aqua and the leo, it was textbook. It was so frustrating and ultimately, it won't resolve without personal growth.
This is why I said stop trying to get her back. Sometimes men fail to realize that women carry wounds due to our belief that you never acknowledged the pain/hurt that you caused. She's holding on to something and it is maddening to her that you STILL don't get it.
She can't yell loud enough, cry hard enough...you just won't get it.
I can only imagine what it was like to come home after you left without so much as a goodbye. She had to be devastated. She probably was aloof in order to hold it together...tau pushes feelings down. For you to be cool in return had to be heart wrenching. And you left again.
You have to understand that SECURITY is what taurus seeks. The very notion of being with someone who could leave makes us want to erect walls. I wonder if during the course of the relationship she sensed this in you...your ability to leave? I sensed it in my aqua so she probably felt it with you too.
I dunno about all aqua males but your affection can be cool too. This coupled with your overall detachment, not good.
Cont...
You're both stubborn but of the two, she's probably the more unreasonable one. We are fixed earth and when we're immature, you'd have better luck erecting the dead than getting us to give or change our minds.
You said she didn't try to understand you. You're right! She didn't. She felt she was right and where she might've been able to hear your opinion, she didn't listen to it or respect it or you enough to allow for differences. This is her short-coming though. Yours however would be in allowing yourself to become embroiled in the argument as well. It takes two.
I know you agreed with things to keep the peace but behind her back, when you were free you may have gone back on your word...smoking. For her, every little white lie is a threat to her security and she may not have learned yet that some fibbing doesn't matter...let him think he's gotten over and hold his silly secrets. Her knowing should be enough but she may want you to know that she knows and long story short...CONTROL.
Do you feel like she was controlling you? Did you feel the need to seek space? Were you creating distance, fostering your independence? The more I tried to box him in, the more he found ways to passively resist. The more he resisted, the more I wanted to control. In the end, his desire for freedom jeopardized my security. Was this part of your dynamic?
I think you need to decide where you're going to be. Moving out of the country may be the best thing for you as an individual but it's not for you as a couple. If this is the woman you wanted to marry, maybe it's worth putting on hold?
Cont...
You said she didn't try to understand you. You're right! She didn't. She felt she was right and where she might've been able to hear your opinion, she didn't listen to it or respect it or you enough to allow for differences. This is her short-coming though. Yours however would be in allowing yourself to become embroiled in the argument as well. It takes two.
I know you agreed with things to keep the peace but behind her back, when you were free you may have gone back on your word...smoking. For her, every little white lie is a threat to her security and she may not have learned yet that some fibbing doesn't matter...let him think he's gotten over and hold his silly secrets. Her knowing should be enough but she may want you to know that she knows and long story short...CONTROL.
Do you feel like she was controlling you? Did you feel the need to seek space? Were you creating distance, fostering your independence? The more I tried to box him in, the more he found ways to passively resist. The more he resisted, the more I wanted to control. In the end, his desire for freedom jeopardized my security. Was this part of your dynamic?
I think you need to decide where you're going to be. Moving out of the country may be the best thing for you as an individual but it's not for you as a couple. If this is the woman you wanted to marry, maybe it's worth putting on hold?
Cont...
I think you need to communicate to her what your plans are. Whether it's email or in person when she's cooled down and is receptive, you need to offer her something that is grounded..."Secure."
-You'll always be her friend. She will always be invaluable to you. Let her know that wants it or not, you're love for her as a person is unwavering.
-Where you are not living together now, it is not your intention to date or see other people. Don't ask of her intent. This is what you vow.
-While apart, you will work on ways to better yourself as an individual.
-Let her know where you were wrong in simple terms..."I apologize for being aloof, distant, detached, deceptive..." Whatever. Own it all and never "but." Make it about your short comings not hers.
-Be clear about what "space" means. Tell her that it's not about separating from her or being passive, let her know that you would give anything to be with her but until you can figure out your short-comings, you don't want to do any more damage. Be sure to reiterate that if she ever needs you, you'll be there.
If you can't do those basic things, pack a bag and be out!
Now comes the hard part. Neither of you change quickly. In order to flip this around, it's going to take time and patience. So stop trying to be her lover and focus on being her friend. This will come natural to you.
In the end, there's no guarantee you'll get her back and if you improve and she doesn't, you won't want her back. But what you learn as you let go of the past in hopes to create a new future with her will be beneficial to you in the long run.
Be patient, respectul, understanding, vulnerable and warm.
Fin
-You'll always be her friend. She will always be invaluable to you. Let her know that wants it or not, you're love for her as a person is unwavering.
-Where you are not living together now, it is not your intention to date or see other people. Don't ask of her intent. This is what you vow.
-While apart, you will work on ways to better yourself as an individual.
-Let her know where you were wrong in simple terms..."I apologize for being aloof, distant, detached, deceptive..." Whatever. Own it all and never "but." Make it about your short comings not hers.
-Be clear about what "space" means. Tell her that it's not about separating from her or being passive, let her know that you would give anything to be with her but until you can figure out your short-comings, you don't want to do any more damage. Be sure to reiterate that if she ever needs you, you'll be there.
If you can't do those basic things, pack a bag and be out!
Now comes the hard part. Neither of you change quickly. In order to flip this around, it's going to take time and patience. So stop trying to be her lover and focus on being her friend. This will come natural to you.
In the end, there's no guarantee you'll get her back and if you improve and she doesn't, you won't want her back. But what you learn as you let go of the past in hopes to create a new future with her will be beneficial to you in the long run.
Be patient, respectul, understanding, vulnerable and warm.
Fin
Thanks Tubby. No more games. I'll email her when she calms down. This is taking a big risk. Letting her know that I'm still holding on, but I'll swallow my pride and do this. She tried really hard to let me know this is completely over, but she tried so hard that it makes me wonder. If she didn't care, there wouldn't be all this anger and frustration, right? I'll give her until the beginning of September, or is this too much time? It's been about a week since the last fight. Is it still too soon? You were dead on about being controlling. She was very needy and couldn't give me my space. She didn't understand how important it was for me to have a couple hours to myself in my room. It drove me up the wall.
Thanks for taking the time, effort, and energy to help me with this. Your input has been extremely valuable. You may be the only person that's called me a bastard. lol. But you're absolutely right. It doesn't matter what I think or what I perceive. I care about this woman and it's what she thinks that matters. So thank you very much.
Thanks for taking the time, effort, and energy to help me with this. Your input has been extremely valuable. You may be the only person that's called me a bastard. lol. But you're absolutely right. It doesn't matter what I think or what I perceive. I care about this woman and it's what she thinks that matters. So thank you very much.
I love aqua men...they just all happen to be bastards at some point in life 😉
My aqua mate was downright evil to me and in retrospect, I should've moved on. But the heart wants what the heart wants. I don't know how much of her anger is due to your behavior post-breakup vs. legitimately wanting you to leave her alone.
I'm going out on a limb and assume you're not crazy...a la stalker, I'm assuming her anger is akin to what most would feel given the scenario you painted, if so, she needs time to cool off but overall, approach with caution. She wants to get over you, she wants the pain to go away, she may even be struggling with whether or not your "going away" is the right thing but she wants the hurt to stop and given it won't, you see anger.
Some tips...don't try to make her laugh...she won't. And as you saw with that "smile" comment, it pisses her off. It makes her feel like you're not taking the situation seriously.
If you correspond with her, don't try to fix/stop the pain. Stand in it cause you'll naturally want to make the emotions go away. Don't. Listen to her. Empathize with her. Man up and don't push back with your own anger. You're better off crying than trying to be strong. Aqua's "strong" = cold.
Take all that taurean fury that she's been pushing down. See, she has something she wants you to see/feel/understand. It may be a laundry list of past crap. Listen and try not to emotionally shut down. The stronger her reaction, the deeper the pain. She can't move on until she knows you understand...you feel what she feels and you vow to never do it again.
Don't make false promises. Tell her you're human but you're trying to improve. That you will stumble but you're committed to being better.
Finally, she referred to your love-making as "sex," I think you're really protective of your emotions. Read up on your own sign. Then read up on leo. For aqua to be complete, you need to embrace some leonine aspects...passion,romance,raw emotion.
My aqua mate was downright evil to me and in retrospect, I should've moved on. But the heart wants what the heart wants. I don't know how much of her anger is due to your behavior post-breakup vs. legitimately wanting you to leave her alone.
I'm going out on a limb and assume you're not crazy...a la stalker, I'm assuming her anger is akin to what most would feel given the scenario you painted, if so, she needs time to cool off but overall, approach with caution. She wants to get over you, she wants the pain to go away, she may even be struggling with whether or not your "going away" is the right thing but she wants the hurt to stop and given it won't, you see anger.
Some tips...don't try to make her laugh...she won't. And as you saw with that "smile" comment, it pisses her off. It makes her feel like you're not taking the situation seriously.
If you correspond with her, don't try to fix/stop the pain. Stand in it cause you'll naturally want to make the emotions go away. Don't. Listen to her. Empathize with her. Man up and don't push back with your own anger. You're better off crying than trying to be strong. Aqua's "strong" = cold.
Take all that taurean fury that she's been pushing down. See, she has something she wants you to see/feel/understand. It may be a laundry list of past crap. Listen and try not to emotionally shut down. The stronger her reaction, the deeper the pain. She can't move on until she knows you understand...you feel what she feels and you vow to never do it again.
Don't make false promises. Tell her you're human but you're trying to improve. That you will stumble but you're committed to being better.
Finally, she referred to your love-making as "sex," I think you're really protective of your emotions. Read up on your own sign. Then read up on leo. For aqua to be complete, you need to embrace some leonine aspects...passion,romance,raw emotion.
And I want to reiterate that you should not try to "fix" her. Who cares if she's blubbering uncontrollably? Get her another tissue, wipe her face and let her know it's ok to continue.
Try not to talk too much. You are prone to saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment. For my aqua, he hated to see me in pain so his solution was to make it go away. But stopping the tears doesn't erase the pain...it pushes it to the side and now you're both seeing that huge mess in the corner.
Don't be defensive. She's wrong too but the only thing you can definitely fix is you right? She's going to say things that you want to refute, dismiss...don't. Try not to wall yourself off. My aqua would physically become rigid when he wanted to escape his emotions.
At the end of the day, she needs to know you have a heart. I will pm you a story involving one of my aqua's exes. It was the chick he met before me and the foreshadowing of how cold, cruel he could be was so apparent. He's matured now but it took a long time and by that point, I was too emotionally drained to even care enough to want to have a meal with him let alone a relationship. He is my buddy for life though...awkward at times but my bud nonetheless.
Try not to talk too much. You are prone to saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment. For my aqua, he hated to see me in pain so his solution was to make it go away. But stopping the tears doesn't erase the pain...it pushes it to the side and now you're both seeing that huge mess in the corner.
Don't be defensive. She's wrong too but the only thing you can definitely fix is you right? She's going to say things that you want to refute, dismiss...don't. Try not to wall yourself off. My aqua would physically become rigid when he wanted to escape his emotions.
At the end of the day, she needs to know you have a heart. I will pm you a story involving one of my aqua's exes. It was the chick he met before me and the foreshadowing of how cold, cruel he could be was so apparent. He's matured now but it took a long time and by that point, I was too emotionally drained to even care enough to want to have a meal with him let alone a relationship. He is my buddy for life though...awkward at times but my bud nonetheless.
Yeah... I was ready to give up and be done with this like everyone's been telling me to, but I'll never be whole again until I send a letter telling her how sorry and foolish I am. Is it alright if I PM you my letter? I'll write it from the heart with your points in mind, but an Aquarius a Taurus brain doesn't always sync as I've learned. I'd like your impressions of it. Btw, I'm not leaving the country. I decided I'm staying and fighting for this. I only planned on being in Japan for 1 year. I stayed an extra one because I loved her so much. She's worth fighting for, but how she responds to this email will determine a lot.
🙂
Are you a student? Work visa? How or why are you there? Is your residency status tenuous?
Is she a Japanese national?
Before this occurred, when were you estimated to leave? How did she react to this? Did she plan on going with you if you left?
Where you said you two discussed marriage, why did you not go forward with it?
Is she a Japanese national?
Before this occurred, when were you estimated to leave? How did she react to this? Did she plan on going with you if you left?
Where you said you two discussed marriage, why did you not go forward with it?
I think aqua males are intensely emotional but they don't know what to do with them. As a masculine sign and airy, they just have a hard time figuring out what to do. Like he said, he wanted to show her that he was "strong" but translation is "funeral director" if he's not careful. Sometimes an aqua can be too centered. ie, it's ok to cry at a funeral but an aqua male might feel it's best to be strong and hold it together. Nothing wrong with that but if you can't cry there, then you might not feel able to cry anywhere.
For the woman in his life, if she desires warmth, she may never get it. It won't be fairytales and pompousity. It won't be over the top and fanciful as a leo would. It will be kinda clinical...loving and thoughtful but if you're expecting a proposal in paris?...naaaaah. More like, "it was a tuesday, we just had pot roast..."
Of course I'm generalizing but I'm hoping he can tap into what he's doing that may not be helping bye thinking in the extreme. Are you more like the leo or the aqua and if so, why/how is that good/bad?
And yeah, you can pm the letter. Would love to help...more to ease her pain than yours though. Bulls Unite!!!
For the woman in his life, if she desires warmth, she may never get it. It won't be fairytales and pompousity. It won't be over the top and fanciful as a leo would. It will be kinda clinical...loving and thoughtful but if you're expecting a proposal in paris?...naaaaah. More like, "it was a tuesday, we just had pot roast..."
Of course I'm generalizing but I'm hoping he can tap into what he's doing that may not be helping bye thinking in the extreme. Are you more like the leo or the aqua and if so, why/how is that good/bad?
And yeah, you can pm the letter. Would love to help...more to ease her pain than yours though. Bulls Unite!!!
Are you a student? Work visa? How or why are you there? Is your residency status tenuous?
Is she a Japanese national?
Before this occurred, when were you estimated to leave? How did she react to this? Did she plan on going with you if you left?
Where you said you two discussed marriage, why did you not go forward with it?
I am teaching English in Japan. I have a work VISA. How we met is funny actually. I saw her on a find-a-teacher website and thought hey.. she's kinda hot, but geez.. 50/hour for a lesson? What a dumb broad. I told my buddy about her and it turns out he knows her! Crazy. It gets crazier when I find out she has a spare room. We ended up living together immediately. She's from my city of Seattle too. She knew I wasn't going to leave her. We were so in love there wasn't a doubt in her mind. We didn't go through with marriage because it's only been a year of dating. I didn't even like bringing it up (Aquarius...). I knew she was the one though and I was convinced I was going to marry her. Once I decided that I was going to marry her (to myself) she confirmed it when she brought it up. Done deal. So I thought. Since then I've been fighting for her, not with her. Our arguments were so that she could understand me for our future. I really wanted her to see where I'm coming from since she's "going to be my wife" from now on. I was foolish, naive...
Is she a Japanese national?
Before this occurred, when were you estimated to leave? How did she react to this? Did she plan on going with you if you left?
Where you said you two discussed marriage, why did you not go forward with it?
I am teaching English in Japan. I have a work VISA. How we met is funny actually. I saw her on a find-a-teacher website and thought hey.. she's kinda hot, but geez.. 50/hour for a lesson? What a dumb broad. I told my buddy about her and it turns out he knows her! Crazy. It gets crazier when I find out she has a spare room. We ended up living together immediately. She's from my city of Seattle too. She knew I wasn't going to leave her. We were so in love there wasn't a doubt in her mind. We didn't go through with marriage because it's only been a year of dating. I didn't even like bringing it up (Aquarius...). I knew she was the one though and I was convinced I was going to marry her. Once I decided that I was going to marry her (to myself) she confirmed it when she brought it up. Done deal. So I thought. Since then I've been fighting for her, not with her. Our arguments were so that she could understand me for our future. I really wanted her to see where I'm coming from since she's "going to be my wife" from now on. I was foolish, naive...
haha, proposal in paris is more for me. I'm a romantic. We have a song "Pop goes my heart" from one of the first movies we watched together. I was going to incorporate that into my proposal somehow somewhere very nice under the stars.
I wonder if she needed more permanence? Like if she needed you to be clear on what your objectives were for the relationship?
My aqua and I were fine. In fact, a month before he dumped me, he was planning to move in 😛
I was pretty, "no big deal, let's play it by ear." I wasn't pressed about marriage but had he proposed? "Yes!"
Taurus likes to be led. Where a leo will tell you what they want and how they want it, aquas are more subtle and respectful of independence. In essence, maybe she needed "security" in temrs of what you two were doing?
My aqua and I were fine. In fact, a month before he dumped me, he was planning to move in 😛
I was pretty, "no big deal, let's play it by ear." I wasn't pressed about marriage but had he proposed? "Yes!"
Taurus likes to be led. Where a leo will tell you what they want and how they want it, aquas are more subtle and respectful of independence. In essence, maybe she needed "security" in temrs of what you two were doing?
There are a lot of things I should have done differently. Once I realized it, she was already convinced it wouldn't work. I wanted to do exactly that. Sit down and define what we want. Write it down so we'll know. In fact, right before our break up, I suggested we do that. She said she didn't see the point and from there.. we broke up. I should have talked more about marriage, but honestly, if we did get married the way that we were.. it would have ended 10 times more ugly. We needed this. I just hope she finds her way back to me. This kick to the face was what I needed to snap out of it. I hope she can see how serious I am about this break up. We've never broken up before..
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