Gay guy has crush on my man?

This is a first, its like some book crap you buy on the streets. If a gay guy (very handsome) has a crush on your guy. What do you do. Background- he was the pal of lets say the straight guys exwife, and didn't let the guy know until years later. Now the gay guy, is head over heals, but the straight guy is engaged recently to someone. He was in a situation before meeting his fiance, and no one was in his corner. Of course thats where the gguy came in, to be a pal and revealed his feelings. So he did use the gguy, no doubt and even admits he did. Now he wans to know how to get him from liking him. The fiance is somewhat mad that he even played this game, and knows he wants her not the guy. Yet she feels like he should of told her this way back, yeah its nice he admitted this guy likes him, but now he used him and cant get rid of him. So what does the girl do, approach teh gguy, or have her guy which has already told him he's engaged and is love with his lady.. Im trying to help my girl out, but even this problem is out of my expertise. She just doenst want to have to end up confronting the gguy, to put him in his place once and for all. If he doesnt bother her man, she's fine. but if he starts acting like adiva like some f them can, then shes gonna step to him. Any other advice to give her, to give him to rid of this person. You cant control someone elses crush, but you can let them know, the feelings are not the same.

Id Seriously Have Second Thought's About Marrying Him - Something's Not Right !!

Well gay guys are human too & handle their feelings & crushes the same way straight guys do. So handle this situation the same way you would had their been another female chasing after someone's fiance.

And one, like the other said, there is a REASOn why this gay guy is chasing after this straight man so hard. Even gay men won't keep chasing after something unless they have some kind of motivation to keep doing so. This gay guy might've gotten the impression that the straight guy wanted him too. And to an extent, that's not as unrealistic as you think. And let me tell you, if it's not bothering a straight man that a gay guy has a crush on him THIS hard, then he's probably gay too. And that's real! Not every straight guy is homo-phobic, but then again this isn't the normal situation either. If your friend is about to be married & can sense that this gay guy has enough power over her man's emotions (if you didn't think so, we wouldn't be having this conversation) then the FIRST person that needs to stand up for the relationship & get things in control are the 2 people that started it. And those 2 people includes the straight man. Okay, we get it, he used the gay guy but if he's not willing to cut things off & get the gay guy to realize that he's not gay & that they will never be anything, then his fiance needs to seriously consider not marrying him. If he can't even straighten out a gay guy, then how will he handle things when another woman outside of the relationship is chasing him? It'll break their marriage apart. If the 2 people in the relationship/marriage don't represent & respect their own relationship then they can't expect for others to either.

Thanks Great advice for me to pass unto my pal. Its a doozy for me, but I think he did in fact just use him, but theres always that chance.. Anyway, I will keep you posted as she will be confronting her fiance in person over this, when he's home this week. Stay tuned.

"You cant control someone elses crush, but you can let them know, the feelings are not the same."


That's not her place to convey someone else's feelings .. she can only convey her own feelings. If her man won't put this gay guy in check, then it's because he wants to continue stringing him along .. perhaps he has more usage for the gay guy somewhere down the road, and wants to keep this option open.



Apparantly this man your friend wants to marry will use another as it suits him .... use loving feelings of another person against them ....


Shouldn't this be all kinds of flags waving, horns honking, lights flashing?



He's user, he used this gay man's feelings ...... and if he's refusing to settle this misunderstanding himself, being compassionate to the gay man's feelings, this it means he is STILL using this man's feelings against him, via allowing him to misunderstand intentions.


This whole situation reeks of this woman being pretty stupid and desperate to be loved if she would actually want to marry a Player ..... and player he is, indeed.

"She just doenst want to have to end up confronting the gguy, to put him in his place once and for all."



People are so stupid, seriously ... it's NOT HER PLACE to confront anybody except her own man. She can't put this gay man in his place .. she can only make a fool out of herself if she confronts him by showing that she doesn't even know where her own place is.


Apparantly this man enjoys the Down-Low .... if she had any brains at all, she would stop with her thinking she has to defend anyone's honor except her own, and actually comprehend that to have honor = having some dignity.

It's possible that there isn't even any crush at all ... only an antic of an attention whore.


I remember my ex D-I-L used to do this all the time .. she would constantly tell her husband about alls these men who wanted her and hit on her .. to make him jealous of her.


Seriously .... a man who is mature, and feels secure in his manhood and secure in the love between him and his lady, has no need to even tell his lady about people who might have a crush on him ..... for sure, if he respected her, his main focus would be to protect her feelings because he understands how sensitive a woman is.


Instead, he makes sure he tells her .... when he wouldn't have to if he were a real man. His top priority should be to protect her sensitive feelings. I mean it's just a crush, big deal, crushes don't mean anything, we all fall in and out of crushes all the time.


A real man wouldn't even be bothered .. his focus would be on his lady, and wanting to protect her fragile feelings.




Instead, being the attention whore he is .... he makes sure he tells his woman so she'll go up in arms over him and maybe even fight over him.