Libra man went MIA

I was dating this libra guy for about a month now. We live 3 hours apart. Talked everyday, had an amazing time together. Went as far as saying he "liked me a lot". He's been having a hard time with work and began pulling away a little bit. I decided to give him some space. The other day I texted him and told him that while I knew he was occupied, if there was someone else in the picture or if he was treating me like a second choice, that perhaps he needed to find someone a bit better suited for that. I only said that because I just wanted to let him know that while I'd love to be there for him, I won't accept being second choice to someone else. He replied with "unbelievable". To which I said I was sorry and I wasn't trying to question his morals or character or even start a fight (I know they hate confrontation) but merely trying to kind of put my foot down. Then he answered "goodnight".
I haven't heard from him since and it's been about 5 days. I texted him again saying I was sorry. But no answer.
Why did he disappear?
I'm a sagittarius btw

Hmm.

I kind of think you did the right thing.

I think I may have done it on the phone, actually talking-- but still-- if he was being straight with you, he wouldn't have given up so easily, imo.

I think you just made it easy for him to make it *look* like you were the problem.

"Unbelievable"-- that's just lame.

Posted by Willyynillyy
I was dating this libra guy for about a month now. We live 3 hours apart. Talked everyday, had an amazing time together. Went as far as saying he "liked me a lot". He's been having a hard time with work and began pulling away a little bit. I decided to give him some space. The other day I texted him and told him that while I knew he was occupied, if there was someone else in the picture or if he was treating me like a second choice, that perhaps he needed to find someone a bit better suited for that. I only said that because I just wanted to let him know that while I'd love to be there for him, I won't accept being second choice to someone else. He replied with "unbelievable". To which I said I was sorry and I wasn't trying to question his morals or character or even start a fight (I know they hate confrontation) but merely trying to kind of put my foot down. Then he answered "goodnight".
I haven't heard from him since and it's been about 5 days. I texted him again saying I was sorry. But no answer.
Why did he disappear?
I'm a sagittarius btw

Don't even apologize. ugh good riddance, he sounds like he wanted to treat you as a mere option, and is so self-entitled, he just can't believe that you're not going to stand around forever salivating for a crumb he may decide to toss you.

Text him back "No longer interested. Toodles!"

then delete his number.

What a dick!! God wtf is with all these libra jerks? Usually I've found them to be awesome. Makes me sad 😢

You did the right thing.

But let's be honest here. 50% of you put your foot down b/c your street smarts told that doing so is a sure way to establish boundaries & a code for how you wanted to be treated going forward. Cool. But the other half of you did that b/c of insecurity. And you subconsciously know that which is why you felt the need to somewhat apologize.

And there's a reason I mentioned insecurity. You've only been dating him for a month. You know he's got a sudden stressful event in his life. The minute he was human & needed a little bit of space (as MOST people do when they're stressed), you automatically took it personal, assumed the worst, made it about you & indirectly accused him of wasting your time. You made those assumptions not b/c you saw any evidence of another woman, but b/c that was your insecurities talking for you.

So to be fair, I might've been turned off too if someone chose to turn on me, throw a hissy fit & start throwing countless conspiracy theories at me during a time that I'd already communicated was tough for me.

It takes longer than a month to truly get to know someone, learn their personality & how they deal with positive AND negative emotions/circumstances. If he's the kind of person that shuts down the minute he's stressed, that doesn't make him a player or a guy worth giving an ultimatum to. That makes him human & damn near like all the rest of us lol But you didn't WANT to understand that. You'd already made up your mind that him being the typical "guy" when he's stressed was unacceptable to you & therefore warranted an ultimatum.

However, the reason I said you did the right thing is b/c of how he handled the situation after those tense exchanges of words. He let you go so quickly b/c his interest in you probably hadn't built up enough yet. People have to have a sturdy foundation before 1 of them starts making accusations (OR acting funny) and actually get away with it. And you guys couldn't have had that sturdy foundation if you've only been dating for a month.

I say you're even. You were too quick to jump to conclusions (which is wrong) & he was too quick to dip out on you the minute you did (which sucks too). You spoke too soon/much & he didn't speak enough. You guys are actually even lol THAT is the reason I think you did the right by choosing to move on

^She was told this in the Libra forum, as well.

Nothing wrong with boundaries, but the reaction was a little unwarranted.

Btw, I think what I found disturbing most to all this were the responses that are basically saying "GOOD FOR YOU!!" were immediate, then the logical group comes in and is like uh...no? :/

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Sag89
What a dick!! God wtf is with all these libra jerks? Usually I've found them to be awesome. Makes me sad 😢

really though Sagi would you send a text like that? Say it ain't so!

click to expand

A text like what?

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Btw, I think what I found disturbing most to all this were the responses that are basically saying "GOOD FOR YOU!!" were immediate, then the logical group comes in and is like uh...no? :/

I agree. I saw right through that.

I'm not quick to feel sorry for a woman just b/c she technically gets the finger. There's 2 sides to every story. And I wasn't buying that she was innocent in all of this.

You can't throw accusational nukes & then expect for a person who doesn't have a sturdy foundation with you to sit there, take it & cater to/reassure your insecurities all the time. And this especially won't happen if a man's going through a stressful time during all the mouthing off from his new woman.

That's why I saw it from both sides. They were both in the wrong. Neither of them are ready to be together. She thinks her reaction was honorable to her honor as a woman w/o realizing that she had insecurity written all over her face when she reacted. Since you can't change what you don't acknowledge, there's no reason for anybody to believe that her insecurities would suddenly stop coming to the forefront in the future

He was in the wrong for thinking that pulling away permanently was the best move when a man does NOT want a woman to assume the worst lol There's nothing more affirming of a woman's accusations than a man who acts guilty & runs away when he's called out on something lol Refusing to communicate & get to the bottom of an issue doesn't help. Refusing to give reassurance where it's justifiably due def. doesn't help either lol

Had they been together longer & THEN went through this phase, they possibly would've gotten through it. But their foundation wasn't sturdy enough yet. So right now she looks like the accusational clingy type. And he looks like the guilty, houdini who vanishes whenever he's in an uncomfortable position. Both are deal breaking, especially before the honeymoon phase is even over. People aren't as quick to give you the benefit of the doubt when their foundation with you isn't strong enough yet. Sounds unfair but it is what it is