non compatibility in natal charts how to deal?

If you care for someone and you have conflicted aspects in your charts how are you supposed to resolve this?

We talk about perfect compatibility but what if compatibility may have challenges? Any thoughts or ideas?

hard-aspects = tension

chart with no hard-aspects = oh well this is nice..but where are we going with this?

and some placements, particularly aries moon can change the synastry/the composite, based on sheer awesomeness.

All the people I've cared for romantically have had bad synastry with myself. So maybe that's not such a bad thing to have bad synastry. The only issues I've had is that we sometimes do things a little differently. As long as you can respect the other's way of doing things, then there's no problems. If you can't handle it, then it's time to move on because a person is not likely to change those things. So, really, the only thing you need to do for problem areas or bad aspects is to learn to compromise, both of you. There's no way to fully get rid of 'challenges', especially if you view it from the astrological standpoint...it's in their chart, it's apart of them.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
A synastry chart can tell you all about compatibility or lack of.

I believe synastry is an initial attraction indicator. I don't put much emphasis on that, personally. It's failed me in the past.....miserably.

That's probably where "lust" comes from 😄

A composite chart tells you how your energies work together as a unit or a team.

Looking at the composite together is a huge help and can pinpoint the weaker more difficult 'parts' of your relationship.

You could even do it on your own, but you'd have to make the initial efforts to try to navigate the solution, the other person really wouldn't know or be aware.

you don't always have to be afraid of traditional 'hard' aspects. Sometimes they are there for a reason.

Oh this is an interesting thought. I would like to hear more on this vein if you don't mind Twirling Strawberry.

Posted by LadyOfRebirth

Posted by Damnata

and some placements, particularly aries moon can change the synastry/the composite, based on sheer awesomeness.

Spoken like a true don😏

click to expand

ZODIAC DON ARIES!

Oh and mutables can make it work with pretty much anyone.

Just lure us in like Hansel and Gretel.

Posted by scorchedearth
the only synastry aspect that really makes me not want to date someone is fucked up mercury/mercury. i had a perfect merc to merc square with an ex and it was non-stop fighting and there was no amount of trying to make communication better by compromising that worked. so if your merc is squared, opposite, or quincunx mine you probably won't have me chasing you around for a date.

My aqua ex and I argued every single day we lived together. No exceptions. We don't have merc-merc aspects but we have sun square mars which is apparently bad for disputes as well. So, if I had to oust one aspect, it would probably be that one. There was no way to compromise.

Lets talk more about what have learned then what we dislike. I want us to teach each other more and share bad experiences less.

Lets get to places where we help one another avoid the pain and work towards the gains. (he he workout pun.)

Posted by miamivirgo
Lets talk more about what have learned then what we dislike. I want us to teach each other more and share bad experiences less.

Lets get to places where we help one another avoid the pain and work towards the gains. (he he workout pun.)

A good start is to develop yourself inside and out. If you come to understand yourself you'll know better how to avoid hurting other people and you can do to make things work. If you are able to understand why you do things, you will get a better handle on human behavior and may learn skills that are better adept at things such as dispelling arguments or making your partner happy.

So, even if you have bad compatibility with someone, you can definitely make it work through your own effort and understand of human behavior and yourself. If that's enough to placate the problems then you'll extend the life of your relationship. If your partner puts in zero effort or is selfish/self centered, then I'm not sure there's much you can do about that.

I don't have much to say about astrology itself, but I think this is general good advice for making things work.

Posted by miamivirgo
If you care for someone and you have conflicted aspects in your charts how are you supposed to resolve this?

We talk about perfect compatibility but what if compatibility may have challenges? Any thoughts or ideas?

Patience and a lot of it. Knowing why I clash with someone in some way (e.g. which aspect(s) are in conflict) and learning more about that aspect has helped with this. Before I knew about astrology I would just throw up my hands and said "forget it--this just isn't working" and moved on. If I care about the person and the relationship, I will put forth a bit more effort in that area to work through it. For example, My Merc squares someone I care about and we bump heads a lot. I get very frustrated most of the time and find I need to take space when the person just isn't hearing me. I will then think about how I am communicating and wonder if it can be said differently, so the receiver can actually hear what I am saying based on the way the person processes and understands information. This is where the time I have taken to learn more about the other person's aspect helps me out.

Similarly, I will take space to figure out how I am filtering the message. There have been times when I've simply heard a message wrong and "reacted", which only led to more miscommunication. Simply letting an "issue" go has also been helpful, which again is challenging sometimes given my fixed placements.

None of this is easy as its presented here and it does require a conscious and consistent effort on my part, but I have noticed that the person I am having an issue with will shift when I do make the effort.

Posted by scorchedearth

Posted by LadyOfRebirth
Yeah scorched bad mercury synastry sucks. I remember you saying you had trouble with Virgo mercury? My Virgo has his in Virgo too and sometimes it's just like we're speaking 2 different languages. But you know, since learning about astrology it's been helpful in making me understand the differences in our communication.

i do have a problem sometimes with a virgo mercury. i was talking about a cancer merc in my response though. in general i think i prefer masculine mercs to feminine mercs just because masculine mercs aren't so overly sensitive about how aggressively i communicate. aqua mercs for example are the greatest thing in the world to me because they never get offended by the way i say something.

click to expand

that's interesting, i had no problem with aries mercury (ex-bf) and husband's sag mercury (both masculine mercs) and with my ex's feminine mercs (pisces) it wasn't a problem either. I guess other parts of his charts helped -- having predominantly masculine energies despite a feminine sun.

I did a little more research into the lesser aspects of a compatibility chart and found some are possible to overcome if people are willing to work towards a compromise.

But from some responses here people believe they are perfect and the other person must change.

Tiresome.