Taurus guy has become careless...

My taurus guys has been going through a rough 2 years with his financial status and living arrangements (father wants him to move out, he's 27) but he doesn't do anything to progress and change his situation.. He just parties and drinks everyday.. and flirts a lot more with women.. he's kinda become distant towards me but when I give him space he wonders what I'm doing and he sees nothing wrong or at least pretends not to so he don't have to be responsible. My question is how can I show and tell this taurus guy that if he doesn't get his act together that he could and will lose me. I feel like when we talk he avoids the conversation.

About him:
BDay: 04/22
Rising Sign is in 10 Degrees Libra
Moon is in 10 Degrees Libra
Mercury is in 06 Degrees Aries
Venus is in 25 Degrees Taurus
Mars is in 11 Degrees Capricorn

You're a fool.


"My question is how can I show and tell this taurus guy that if he doesn't get his act together that he could and will lose me. I feel like when we talk he avoids the conversation."



Who's the bigger fool?

The one that has no values ... or the one who thinks she's IT enough to use herself as a tool in manipulation.


He's a loser, and apparently you are too, since you want him.

That's exactly what you're doing.

You want him to believe you're a fucking Prize to be had, and if he doesn't get his shit together then you just might take the Prize (you) and withhold it from him as punishment.

That's manipulating ... and the thing is, you're not all that. You're not shit compared to any other stupid bitch who will chase a fucking loser.

they are a dime a dozen

And I know you for exactly what you've posted, and that is what I'm responding to ... you fucking dumbass.

What the hell kind of come back is that? You think you're smart because you say, "you don't know me"?

Of course I don't you, I only know what you post .... you think that was a genius response?

what a fucking dumbass ... no wonder he tries to ignore you what you talk to him.


here's a fucking clue ... he's a loser ... and you must be too, because you're the fool who's chasing him.



:::: shakes head ::::

:-/ my intentions are not to manipulate.. I just feel like he's not realizing what he's doing.. But thanks..

It's his life, let him do what he needs to do and then you do what's in your best interest, leave if you must.

s of YOUR words from another thread. Just make sure you are grasping that I'm responding to you what YOU say, because apparently if someone tells you something you don't want to hear, you stomp your foot and say bullshit like, "you don't know me"

Posted by Symone

We've talked about a future together but it was brief he gave me a "We'll see" answer. Right now I'm getting older amand I want to progress and move forward but I'm feeling like he still wants to be a big kid and not take on responsibilities and be serious..

Him giving you a "we'll see answer" is blowing you off ... and it also means that he didn't want the conversation - YOU DID.

You're getting older and YOU want to push this ... while he barely seems interested.

Posted by Symone

He spends majority of his time with his friends drinking and partying, and I've been feeling like he values time with them more than me.. I told him "I know you've been busy and going through a lot, so I don't wanna bother you I'll give you space if that's what you need" His response: "idk what you're talking about but ok" I don't know what to do cause he says one thing but his actions tell me otherwise and when I tell him how I feel he becomes defensive.

You act like you want to control what he values, and then when you call him on it - he has no clue what you are talking about.

But, it looks like it doesn't stop you, in that you said that you tell him how you feel, eventhough he blows you off.

wtf?

Posted by Symone

..... how can I get the taurus guy to see where I'm coming from.






He doesn't fucking care where you are coming from .... why is this realization so far from your brain? All of his REactions suggest he hasn't a fucking clue why your pissing and moaning about feelings .... so why the fuck are you still riding his dick?


Seriously ... grow some fucking dignity, and hope off the dick that belongs to a man who isn't even aware of you.


::::: shakes head :::::

WOW

How can you tell him? Well, you literally tell him. No sugar-coating.

How can you show him? Well, get a backbone, stop making his baggage and issues YOUR problem & walk out the door.

But you won't do either, and he knows this. Yes, he'd probably still have those same issues whether you were in his life or not, but you entertaining him while he's in this self-destructive phase is you def. being an enabler...meaning the people in his life give him NO incentive to change b/c they'll still give him neverending loyalty whether he does the work to change or not

Newsflash: People don't like change. Changing self is hard b/c abolishing bad habits is hard. Yes, some people want change bad enough that they're willing to go through the trenches for it (kind of like smokers who stop cold turkey & decide to take the withdrawals head on).

But YOUR guy is not 1 of those people. All your concerns & efforts don't mean a damn thing unless he wants change for himself. So do the math: He doesn't want to change + you're not requiring him to change b/c you're still around = NO CHANGE

You are being "that girl" right now. Ya know, everybody knows THAT GIRL who falls in love with a bad guy, pays attention only to the good in him while purposely using denial to overlook the bad in him. She puts up with his abuse to himself & his abuse towards her, but justifies being a doormat b/c she believes being a ride or die is "true love."

She wants him to see all this bullsh*t she's willing to put up with & go through for him b/c she thinks that is the best way to prove love & loyalty to a man. A man that usually isn't even paying her & her efforts any attention b/c he's too busy only thinking about himself & where the next party is gonna be. But even still, she still foolishly thinks her cries, sex & threats will change his narcissism.

Everybody is telling her to run, but she refuses to b/c she thinks it is HER duty to change, control & clean up this bad boy. Although he's SHOWN her a million times that her efforts won't change him, she completely ignores that revelation & keeps on going as if a man being a bum is code for: try harder.

She'll spend countless hours trying to get him to be the man she WANTS him to be or the man he USED to be, with little regard for the fact that who he is NOW is who he's gonna be for a long time. But still, she won't accept that. Instead she'd rather ask herself & others what SHE can do to tame HIS demons, all while the bad guy is at home feeling perfectly content with himself.

She will be drained, worn out & tired of the crap but yet expect for HIM to do something about it as if she doesn't have any control over her own life. She'll expect HIM to magically wake up 1 day a changed & honorable man, even though she knows deep down this will never happen. She expects HIM to make the decision for her about whether or not to stay or leave w/o realizing that she doesn't need his permission to move on.

She'll stay with him until she's out of fuel & then want others to feel sorry for her. She just spent entire months/years of her life that she'll never get back, entertaining someone who had "I'm NOT GONNA CHANGE" written all over his forehead & yet she's somehow still confused on what to do. Her self-esteem will take a hit & her backbone will diminish every single time she stays, makes excuses for him or makes excuses to stay.

Everyone is telling her to run, but she won't. She knows the answers to her own questions, but she is purposely weeding out the advice that she doesn't wanna hear bc admitting the raw hurtful truth to herself is just too painful a pill to swallow. This cycle will continue over & over again until she stops lying to herself, & gets her backbone back. The cycle will end when her priorities switch to being about her OWN sense of healthy well-being, love & goals in life. When she's her OWN best friend, therapist & ride or die for her own heart (and not everybody else's), THEN the cycle will end. Until then, the lies to herself will = NO CHANGE/SAME RESULTS

Yes, you are being THAT girl right now & you know it. If you don't wanna be THAT girl anymore, then STOP being THAT GIRL

Posted by Symone
:-/ my intentions are not to manipulate.. I just feel like he's not realizing what he's doing.. But thanks..

Bullsh***t. He knows exactly what he's doing. He knows the damage he's causing himself & others, but STILL wants to continue doing it. He knows he's taking the risk of losing you AND himself, but his unchanging life style proves that losing himself & you are 2 risks he's willing to take.

Some people are content with having a F'd up life. Of course what I just said doesn't make sense to you b/c you can't make sense out of non-sense. But for the person living a self-destructive life, it makes perfect sense. Know that. Accept that. Stop with the denial. Stop with the excuses. He's living his life this way b/c he WANTS to. When someone wants something bad enough, they'll put all their effort & energy into getting it & keeping it.

The thing he wants bad enough is NOT you. It's his life style & the proof of that is in how much effort & time he puts into his life style vs. how much effort he puts into you & the relationship.

Trust me, You're more in denial than he is.

He's got a doormat for a girlfriend. Name 1 man who ever got his sh***t together while he was dating a doormat? Don't worry, I'll wait...

Posted by tiziani

Posted by krysrenee7


He's got a doormat for a girlfriend. Name 1 man who ever got his sh***t together while he was dating a doormat? Don't worry, I'll wait...

Lol harsh but truth.

click to expand

LOL I gave her the raw truth b/c apparently no one else in her life (including herself) is doing so.

She's had enough sugar-coating & advice that provokes denial. If she came here to hear excuses or advice that caters to her desire to be in denial, she came to the wrong place.

I'd still be in some pretty F'd up situations had I not learned how to swallow bitter pills formerly known as "the truth." You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. Real sh***t LOL