Possessive over your harem?

Harem, sharem. They wish, lol.

Insecurity. It boils down to that.

Also commitment issues.

Man, I hate Taurus gets credit for Plan B.

Posted by Damnata
Harem, sharem. They wish, lol.

Insecurity. It boils down to that.

Also commitment issues.

Oh, Hi Dammers! How are ya?

Posted by MissFisk
*massages temples*

You SO get my Virgo Board experience 😄

Posted by here4yoo

Posted by Damnata
Harem, sharem. They wish, lol.

Insecurity. It boils down to that.

Also commitment issues.

Oh, Hi Dammers! How are ya?

click to expand

Hey there. Enjoying lif..uhm..DXP 😄

Patrolling the boards.

Posted by Ladylioness
So I'm wondering what is the need for all these extra women swaying in the background?

As I've said before, we enjoy the companionship of women. I've listed the reasons (they are pretty, smell nice, etc....lol). Taurus is Venus-ruled so it should be obvious that we're more susceptible to the feminine charms. Unless we are crossing the line (emotionally or physically), I'm not sure what the big deal is. Its also surprising to see other signs not typically known for jealousy or possessiveness, taking a negative view on this. I never try to get with my female friends or seduce them. I will compliment them, give advice, listen, encourage them, support them, appreciate them, etc., like I would a sister. If a woman can't handle a male friend like that, and gets confused, falls in love, etc., I'd be sensitive to that of course, and not take advantage of it, but assuming a bull is not aiming for that (I'm sure some are), it really is more a matter of her not knowing her own boundaries.

That said - male/female friendships can be tricky - esp. Leo/Taurus IMO. I think, with these two, there's almost always a strong attraction. It promises much from the outside - you both admire so much in one another - and that creates the pull. But its deceptive as once you hook up, its a very rough ride. I think the better question in your scenario is not around what he is thinking, but what are you thinking? What is your goal in continuing to pursue the relationship? Just friendship? If he's reacting this way, maybe he does have feelings for you. Seems like it if you think you're an "option". If you're both in committed relationships, and that's there, maybe best to leave it alone out of respect for your partners. I realize that's easier said than done, and I've been in that situation with a married Leo. The attraction was too strong and I feel it crossed the line so had to end the friendship. The whole thing was really damaging actually.

Also - maybe he is stringing you along as MissFisk said. But it sounds more like you're both mutually engaged in a friendship where you both know there's attraction. With all of my friendships with Leo women, they've been much more inclined than I was to flirt, sexualize things, and just play with fire in general.

Um.... you don't mind being part of the harem?

😆

Anyway, seriously, I can't encourage this. You shouldn't be concerned over this because you're married. This needed to end. The behavior this dude is giving you is classic rejected Taurus behavior. I do the same when the same happens to me if the person I wanted has behaved in such a way where they've established they want nothing to do with me or when I find out they're already "taken".

Posted by Damnata
Harem, sharem. They wish, lol.

Insecurity. It boils down to that.

Also commitment issues.

Insecurity can be a negative *or* positive reason for friendship. We are all extremely insecure and we all have a need for relationship. We all have scars, trauma, etc. Our shared suffering is one of the biggest things that bind us together. The empathy and the bonds that result from this are one of the higher-order goods of humanity. Without some measure of insecurity, friendship and love might occur alot less often in this world. Often the relationships in our lives are sources of confidence, healing, acceptance - a remedy for the negativity we've experienced. Its good to be self-sufficient to a degree - able to survive on our own if we need to. But the ideal that some espouse, of being perfectly whole, enlightened, and filled with "self love", before engaging in relationships with others, is impractical and impossible. Love is relational - a form of acceptance of another - and I think its only honest to admit that we all desire acceptance, most of us experience loneliness, find meaning in community, etc. Without these things - by design (whether that of evolution, God, or both) - we feel insecure.

Same with commitment - there is unhealthy and healthy fear of it. Its something we all have to figure out within our relationships - how much do we want to give of ourselves. There are relationships that are so emotionally demanding that you ought to fear over-committing to them. For instance, if a partner is so smothering, is too possessive of your time, etc., that you feel you are not able to be there for others, have friends even, be your *self*, fulfill whatever your purpose is in the world, etc. I've been in those situations and they are soul-destroying. In my experience, dating people with strong Leo placements will have you giving much (if not all) of yourself in service of an individual ego (and I say that as a person with alot of Leo).

I'm on some cold medicine bc my girl got me sick, and the brain is foggy, so I don't know if any of that makes sense...LOL. Sounds like one big red herring in reading it over.

I just think saying some behavior "boils down to insecurity" doesn't really get us anywhere, because most social behavior does in some way or another - even posting on this board. And I see so much bashing of insecurity, as if it is some heinous disease that only the undesirables are afflicted with, it starts to sound like self-deception. Also - bull having a bunch of female friends shouldn't automatically be suspect, just because we see an hourly post about a married taurus asking a woman for naked pics....lol.

^are you the new krysnee?

Too tired to reply now but I will get back and tell you my thoughts on this.

your girl got you sick?

YOU VICTIM!

Posted by Damnata
your girl got you sick?

YOU VICTIM!

I'm milking it too. LOL....I think I need another bowl of soup delivered to the bedroom right now actually....

^ugh

The Aries Ex..Taurus Mars/ Taurus Ascendant

He would always cry out for me..pls make me the chicken soup..no one does it better than you. He appealed to my cooking ego and got fed time after time.

Pretty much. Fisker nailed it.

Side note: Ever notice dead honesty in this place engenders an identical response as if you've broken wind at a cocktail party? Tad depressing. Ah well.

Posted by Juicysbaby214
They r def possessive of harem members. U r not allwd to ever leave. EVeR! Its kinda scary b/c as a.person with leo as one of dominant signs whn we leave we want to jus leave bt they wont allow it. Ive tried. N e fight or diaagreement or attempt to leave is always ended by this statement i swear "ok, ill LET you be" yes, let. Idk— kno one bull tht told me ill b here whn u get married n have kids n all tht bc ur husband is jus gna mess up...signed up for life, death, eternity, and the next life. Nw thas wat i call loyal

That's what I call wasting time, being a desperate idiot and giving up. There's no justifiable reason to go after someone who does not reciprocate and has chosen someone other than you.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by Ladylioness
So I'm wondering what is the need for all these extra women swaying in the background?

As I've said before, we enjoy the companionship of women. I've listed the reasons (they are pretty, smell nice, etc....lol). Taurus is Venus-ruled so it should be obvious that we're more susceptible to the feminine charms. Unless we are crossing the line (emotionally or physically), I'm not sure what the big deal is. Its also surprising to see other signs not typically known for jealousy or possessiveness, taking a negative view on this. I never try to get with my female friends or seduce them. I will compliment them, give advice, listen, encourage them, support them, appreciate them, etc., like I would a sister. If a woman can't handle a male friend like that, and gets confused, falls in love, etc., I'd be sensitive to that of course, and not take advantage of it, but assuming a bull is not aiming for that (I'm sure some are), it really is more a matter of her not knowing her own boundaries.

That said - male/female friendships can be tricky - esp. Leo/Taurus IMO. .

click to expand

Lots of juicy rationalizations and lies and games of the multi-play player. Hey, don't bullshit the bullshitters. Women are pretty, smell nice, you enjoy the companionship of women, all that happens with ONE woman if you choose. It also happens with LOTS of women. Fact is, players like their variety and they like not having to be too committed to ONE woman. What players that have lots of women "swaying in the background" DON'T do? They don't allow any one of their women to know about any of their other women. Because if they did disclose, it would be game over, most times, with a woman (or women) that the player isn't tired of quite yet. Call it what it is. Cheating. Players tell a LOT of lies, too. There isn't one woman in a thousand wants to be on a guy's dance card with a half dozen other women. So he keeps them apart, separate and has to keep his lies straight too.

Besides, in today's biological climate, it ain't terribly safe, either. I've had a lot of male acquaintances that juggled women. What stands out most in memory? That end the end, for the players? They don't really think that much of women in the end anyway. Women are pretty much just cumm-buckets to

to be conned and lied to for their own adventure and entertainment. What an ugly way to boil down romance.

"Players". What a cute, mischievous little label to hang on someone that in the end, is just a liar and cheater.

Posted by here4yoo

Lots of juicy rationalizations and lies and games of the multi-play player. Hey, don't bullshit the bullshitters. Women are pretty, smell nice, you enjoy the companionship of women, all that happens with ONE woman if you choose. It also happens with LOTS of women. Fact is, players like their variety and they like not having to be too committed to ONE woman.

I doubt the OP will be returning to give more details, and maybe this particular guy is a player but...I think its a bit hasty to say someone is a player *simply* bc he has female friends. I think this particular pair has probably crossed the line, in that they have obvious attraction, but men and women can still have healthy platonic relationships. Do you not have female friends that you have no intention of sleeping with?

They will drop the harem when they are sure about you. It takes some time, but it will happen.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by here4yoo

Lots of juicy rationalizations and lies and games of the multi-play player. Hey, don't bullshit the bullshitters. Women are pretty, smell nice, you enjoy the companionship of women, all that happens with ONE woman if you choose. It also happens with LOTS of women. Fact is, players like their variety and they like not having to be too committed to ONE woman.

I doubt the OP will be returning to give more details, and maybe this particular guy is a player but...I think its a bit hasty to say someone is a player *simply* bc he has female friends. I think this particular pair has probably crossed the line, in that they have obvious attraction, but men and women can still have healthy platonic relationshi

ps. Do you not have female friends that you have no intention of sleeping with?

click to expand

Of course. Lots of them. But that's not my "Harem". That's my friends. Pretty disingenuous reply though. "Harem" isn't friends, it's a group of cumm-dumpsters, in the eye of the Harem Owning braggart. The women aren't HIS friends and he sure as Hell isn't THEIRS. But hey, if everyone is agreed that the arrangement is cool, fine, I guess. Otherwise, it's a big lie. Who wants THAT?

Posted by here4yoo

Of course. Lots of them. But that's not my "Harem". That's my friends. Pretty disingenuous reply though. "Harem" isn't friends, it's a group of cumm-dumpsters, in the eye of the Harem Owning braggart. The women aren't HIS friends and he sure as Hell isn't THEIRS. But hey, if everyone is agreed that the arrangement is cool, fine, I guess. Otherwise, it's a big lie. Who wants THAT?

A little context before you further abuse the straw man you've built. No one is talking about "cumm-dumpsters" in this thread. The OP is, at *most*, assuming that what the bull said (possibly in jest) about his "collection" of women, is in reference to a group of women that are "plan B"'s - i.e., women he would be with if his main girl did not work out. Nor do most astrologers I've read use the term "harem", which they often do when dicussing the Taurus sun sign, to refer to promiscuous behavior on the part of Taurus men, which they generally say are loyal and singularly devoted men. Harem has a variety of usages; one of which is used to denote all of the woman of a household (grandmothers, sisters, daughters included). On this board, the term has mostly been used (also mostly in jest) to refer to Taurus men with a group of female friends, particularly those friends the bull *doesn't* see fit to date. You can continue your rant if you like but you aren't actually addressing anything anyone is saying.

Taurus man with his harem, sort of like a human shield with many layers.

Or not being able to find one woman to do everything with so ends up with many.

😛

Ok, well, since the "Harem" has been backtracked in long-standing definition to a group of innocent young flowers that simply like a guy, well, that's different. Hey, ya can't BS a BSer. We're not idiots. A harem in the Bro-Code is a collection of friends with benefits. And the women in the collection never, except by the Bro's mistake or intent, ever know about the other women.

Now that the "Harem" concept has been properly defined under the Bro-Code by and for a generation of of young men who are Players, we want to backtrack the term to a gentleman's collection of innocent "platonics"? Ok, who am I to argue? Hey, I know the deal with the term Harem. Everyone else here does too. Being called on it inspires a re-definition of the term because well, it doesn't speak well of the fellow's attitude toward women. But when the players get together over a beer you can believe they discuss their collective Harems in great detail. Wouldn't the female defenders of the term like to be the fly on the wall to hear some of that?

Whatever.

Posted by here4yoo
Ok, well, since the "Harem" has been backtracked in long-standing definition to a group of innocent young flowers that simply like a guy, well, that's different. Hey, ya can't BS a BSer. We're not idiots. A harem in the Bro-Code is a collection of friends with benefits. And the women in the collection never, except by the Bro's mistake or intent, ever know about the other women.

Now that the "Harem" concept has been properly defined under the Bro-Code by and for a generation of of young men who are Players, we want to backtrack the term to a gentleman's collection of innocent "platonics"? Ok, who am I to argue? Hey, I know the deal with the term Harem. Everyone else here does too. Being called on it inspires a re-definition of the term because well, it doesn't speak well of the fellow's attitude toward women. But when the players get together over a beer you can believe they discuss their collective Harems in great detail. Wouldn't the female defenders of the term like to be the fly on the wall to hear some of that?

Whatever.

Invoking "bro-code"? Really? I did my best to explain how we've been using the word on this board. My work is done. You're free to continue your proud and irrelevant strutting on the moral high ground.