Co-dependent ex

I was in a relationship with my ex for almost a year now, we loved each other to death and couldn't spend a day without each other. The only problem was I??wanted to slow down a bit but she keep thinking I wanted to break-up which was not what I meant. Anyways, we'll get into nasty fights and break-up and make-up. Then went a few months past, I found out that she was a co-dependent, I wasn't freaked out because I loved her too much but it was taking a huge toll on our relationship. She told me to get lost and never look back and I followed her wishes until she came back wanting to work it out.. We were doing great until I found out she was with someone else and dumped me. I was DEVSTATED. I really wanted to know why and was it my fault. She wouldn't even talk to me, just ran off, avoiding me and was sorta angry at me. I finally confronted her and she told me that she was single again and she "was lost". I felt like she was lying to me so when we tried to be friends.. I couldn't. Now we at odds with each other and she's with someone new but talks bad about me.


What did she mean about "I was lost"?

Is she even sorry or anything? Why she did it?

How do you deal with a co-dependent?

Are you an angry man, Henry?

Um.. What?

Are you envious? Do you get envious?

What are talking about? I'm not anything, I just need advice..

I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.

um... Okay.. Whatever

Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone.

Good luck with that but if you not gonna help me with my issue you should stop posting

I think you should look deep within yourself... deep within your heart... and find what it is in the world that makes you feel LOVE. Just pure LOVE. And then go to that. In your studies... in your athletics... go towards love.

Posted by downtownblues
What did she mean about "I was lost"?

Is she even sorry or anything? Why she did it?

How do you deal with a co-dependent?

By "lost" she meant that her plan to go allow another person to fulfill her backfired on her. She's embarrassed, insecure & feels alone/empty b/c it's finally dawned on her that only did she lose a good thing with you, but obviously her other relationship, which I'm sure she expected to work out, didn't & thus left her alone & back to square 1: alone.

Is she sorry for anything? Probably not. Seems like she was using you to fill a void within her. She may be the type of person that is more in love with the concept of having someone than she may be in love with the actual person.

That might explain why she immediately jumped into a new relationship so quickly after you 2 broke up. It wasn't about you or even the new guy. It was about the fact that she's selfish, she has needs & she was willing to go to the next new prospect if that meant her needs would be met.

Welp, the new prospect didn't work out so now she's back to square 1, the very same square she dreaded from the beginning. THAT is why she feels "lost"

You were disposable to her. She probably felt no guilt when she was in the moment & trying to hook up with someone else b/c her doing so was her way of fulfilling whatever voids/irrational urges she had. It wasn't until AFTER the situation backfired on her that she suddenly/conveinantly "wanted" you again or realized what she'd lost. But had her new relationship actually worked out, I'd be willing to bet you that she wouldn't have came back knocking on your door.

How to deal with a co-dependent? Simple, you don't! She's insecure. And insecure people make it so that the people they're dating are damned if they do & damned if they don't. She doesn't know what she really wants yet, that's why she keeps messing up & losing out on every person she approaches.

Women who are co-dependent are that way b/c there's something each man has that she wants & doesn't feel she can give to herself. The only way out of that mindset is for her to face AND deal with her insecurities