Do people with certain personality disorders

really not realize how they come across to other people?

Do they understand that manipulating people for attention and adulation isn't real kindness?

Do they understand that being "nice" in order to secure the attentions of an attractive person isn't real kindness?

I was in the "nice guy" thread thinking about this, and most people make the mistake (imo) of dividing nice guys and bad boys as if they are two distinct groups, as if there wasn't this third group of men (or rather, people of both sexes, I'm sure) who "play nice" in order to get something, who are very adept at emotional manipulation, do want intimacy and attention, but actually don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves, and at the end of the day, will eventually pay the price for it?

Then they think it's because they are "too nice."

Is this Narcissism in most cases? Histrionic?

This must actually be a personality disorder, when a person is extremely good at manipulating other people's feelings for their own goal (attention, sex, etc.) but actually aren't motivated by real genuine concern, and are completely baffled that the world doesn't revolve around their distorted view of themselves as "nice."

I see so much of it on-line, particularly from men who call themselves "nice guys" that I wonder if it could even be a personality disorder.

I can't imagine this many men are good at emotional manipulation, though, it seems more of a skill that women are inclined to learn.

ONE MUST REMEMBER DRUGS PLAY A PART
PEOPLE WHO DO A LOT OF DRUGS ARE SELFCENTERED.
THEY DO NOT LISTEN THEY JUST TALK
THEY THINK THEY ARE THE LIFE OF EVERY GATHERING AND THAT EVERYONE IS JUST THERE FOR THEM
ITS A SAD BUT TRUE FACT.
IF A WOMAN ISN'T INTERESTED IN THEM
ITS BECAUSE SHE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT SHE IS GETTING
THE CHANCE OF A LIFE TIME TO BE WITH HIM
I HAVE SEEN IT 100 TIMES
I HAVE EVEN PULLED SOME OF THE DIPSHITS OFF WOMEN
SAD VERY SAD

Posted by Marmotini
really not realize how they come across to other people?

Do they understand that manipulating people for attention and adulation isn't real kindness?

Do they understand that being "nice" in order to secure the attentions of an attractive person isn't real kindness?

I was in the "nice guy" thread thinking about this, and most people make the mistake (imo) of dividing nice guys and bad boys as if they are two distinct groups, as if there wasn't this third group of men (or rather, people of both sexes, I'm sure) who "play nice" in order to get something, who are very adept at emotional manipulation, do want intimacy and attention, but actually don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves, and at the end of the day, will eventually pay the price for it?

Then they think it's because they are "too nice."

Is this Narcissism in most cases? Histrionic?

This must actually be a personality disorder, when a person is extremely good at manipulating other people's feelings for their own goal (attention, sex, etc.) but actually aren't motivated by real genuine concern, and are completely baffled that the world doesn't revolve around their distorted view of themselves as "nice."

I see so much of it on-line, particularly from men who call themselves "nice guys" that I wonder if it could even be a personality disorder.

I can't imagine this many men are good at emotional manipulation, though, it seems more of a skill that women are inclined to learn.

It all depends on their ability, or lack thereof, to feel empathy.

My understanding is that sociopaths cannot feel empathy, nor can narcissists; I think histrionic is associated, somehow, with narcissism-- but they may not be quite as far removed from the ability to feel empathy.

The ex-"husband" (mine), whom I believe fits the textbook (DSM) definition of a narcissist, once said to me out of the blue "I am a very giving person."

Who the hell does that?

What he really did was pretend to be generous to create the appearance of "having more" than others-- which in turn made him feel like he was "better than" others.

It was all for his own benefit. Ick.

A lot of people are on drugs...for sure.

True ^^

I LIKE YOUR TREE AVE REMINDS ME OF AFRICA
I SPENT SOME TIME THERE

Posted by ninjutsu
glib charm is the forte of sociopaths is it not?

and narcissists too apparently

Posted by ellessque
I think those that label others with personality disorders, have personality disorders themselves.

Just sayin'. 🙂

Actually, no, I have a therapist and I don't have a personality disorder, but thanks for the immature comment.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
I think someone just went 'tttss burn' !

Maybe they did. If they're in the 7th grade. Or are 40 years old and have the emotional level of a 7th grader.

Posted by james tate
ONE MUST REMEMBER DRUGS PLAY A PART
PEOPLE WHO DO A LOT OF DRUGS ARE SELFCENTERED.
THEY DO NOT LISTEN THEY JUST TALK
THEY THINK THEY ARE THE LIFE OF EVERY GATHERING AND THAT EVERYONE IS JUST THERE FOR THEM
ITS A SAD BUT TRUE FACT.
IF A WOMAN ISN'T INTERESTED IN THEM
ITS BECAUSE SHE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT SHE IS GETTING
THE CHANCE OF A LIFE TIME TO BE WITH HIM
I HAVE SEEN IT 100 TIMES
I HAVE EVEN PULLED SOME OF THE DIPSHITS OFF WOMEN
SAD VERY SAD

I agree sometimes it is drugs or alcohol, but other times its cluster B personality disorders

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Marmotini
really not realize how they come across to other people?

Do they understand that manipulating people for attention and adulation isn't real kindness?

Do they understand that being "nice" in order to secure the attentions of an attractive person isn't real kindness?

I was in the "nice guy" thread thinking about this, and most people make the mistake (imo) of dividing nice guys and bad boys as if they are two distinct groups, as if there wasn't this third group of men (or rather, people of both sexes, I'm sure) who "play nice" in order to get something, who are very adept at emotional manipulation, do want intimacy and attention, but actually don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves, and at the end of the day, will eventually pay the price for it?

Then they think it's because they are "too nice."

Is this Narcissism in most cases? Histrionic?

This must actually be a personality disorder, when a person is extremely good at manipulating other people's feelings for their own goal (attention, sex, etc.) but actually aren't motivated by real genuine concern, and are completely baffled that the world doesn't revolve around their distorted view of themselves as "nice."

I see so much of it on-line, particularly from men who call themselves "nice guys" that I wonder if it could even be a personality disorder.

I can't imagine this many men are good at emotional manipulation, though, it seems more of a skill that women are inclined to learn.

It all depends on their ability, or lack thereof, to feel empathy.

My understanding is that sociopaths cannot feel empathy, nor can narcissists; I think histrionic is associated, somehow, with narcissism-- but they may not be quite as far removed from the ability to feel empathy.

The ex-"husband" (mine), whom I believe fits the textbook (DSM) definition of a narcissist, once said to me out of the blue "I am a very giving person."

Who the hell does that?

What he really did was pretend to be generous to create the appearance of "having more" than others-- which in turn made him feel like he was "better than" others.

It was all for his own benefit. Ick.

click to expand

Yes the prime difference between histrionics and narcissists is empathy, because otherwise they share many tr

I just call those guys "nice guys," as in pseudo. They're so insecure that they have to play nice in order to get a woman, as opposed to, you know, being themselves. Shocking concept.

What's worse is when it doesn't go their way, it's her fault.

I dunno about personality disorder, but I do blame the sense of entitlement showered on all the up and coming generations.

All too often, these same guys think that as long as they put out the effort that's perceived to be "enough" effort, that they should immediately get what they want. But they don't. Because that's life. It sucks, but it happens.

So to top it off, when reality kicks in and they have that realization that their little games and bs didn't get them the fruits of their shitty labor, they get butthurt.

Honestly, I think "nice guys" are far worse than asshole guys. Asshole guys are at least more obvious to weed out. You know what you're getting up front. "Nice guys" are such a farce.

It's sad because genuinely nice guys have to fight through the endless bs created by these fools.

Posted by BalmyTigress
To be fair, I don't think most people realize how they come across to other people. We make choices that we think are justified. Whether they're reasonable or not is the question, I guess.

+ 1

Posted by ellessque
I think those that label others with personality disorders, have personality disorders themselves.

Just sayin'. 🙂

lol