Guess who's bizzack...Why in the hell do men do this?

Spring has sprung and my ex decides to make yet another tireless attempt to pop back into my life. But I already knew he was coming. I dreamt about him a few days before he started reaching out. We've been broken up for almost 4 year's now. Hmm, just realized it's been that long. Anyhow, I'm a "once I'm done, I'm done," type of woman; always have been. Besides, the way it ended I'd NEVER ever go back.

But I'm curious, men, what's up? Why do you do this?

If it matters, this is his chart:

Leo Rising
Gem Sun
Cap Moon
Cancer Merc/Venus
Pisces Mars

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
Men do what you allow them to do. If he keeps fucking up and you keep taking him back, you are letting him know that you're not a female who should be taken seriously.

Perhaps you didn't read the actual content of the post. I've never gone back to him which is why I posed the question to the men to ask even when getting no reaction from a woman, in this case ME, do men continue to pursue.

Posted by Katana
Why do exes reach out to exes?

They miss them, they're bored, they're trying to rekindle the relationship after their last one didn't go as planned, they're trying to get laid, they like the familiarity of being with someone they've already been with or they valued the platonic connection/friendship between the two of you and appreciated you as a person. It could very well be a combination of all of these things altogether.

I see, I ask because for some people maybe things ended positively or maybe things werent timed right and they can rekindle those feelings/experiences. But I've never once reached out to an Ex... ex-friend, boyfriend, job, anything. In my mind, when a relationship of any type ends, it ended for a reason so it's over FINAL and I just move on. Essentially, as harsh as this may come across, that situation is dead to me. Non essential, so why waste time on repeating a mistake twice? I guess this is why it's so puzzling to me is all. I really just don't get it.

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX

Posted by devilandthedancer

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
Men do what you allow them to do. If he keeps fucking up and you keep taking him back, you are letting him know that you're not a female who should be taken seriously.

Perhaps you didn't read the actual content of the post. I've never gone back to him which is why I posed the question to the men to ask even when getting no reaction from a woman, in this case ME, do men continue to pursue.

You never expressed that you weren't leading him on in some way. You said he is your ex of four years and that's it. Most men don't persistently come after a woman the way that you're making it seem unless you're giving him some reason to believe that you want to be pursued. Normal men don't do that. Men with mental issues do that. If you are truly ignoring him like you imply that you are with your response to me and he is still extremely persistent, then there is something going on with him that most normal men cannot relate to anyway. You won't get much insight other than to block him out of your life.

If he's calling/texting you, block his number. Too easy. If he's messaging you on social media, again, block him. What kind of advice are you actually looking for?

click to expand

Typical advice from a woman, I must be doing something to egg him on so that's why it's happening. No, Not at all, I've initiated NO contact, no friendships on social media, I've changed my number once already but we had a mutual friend so I know now where that link sprang possibly. I even moved because prior to that he would just show up at my apt. He's changed his number often and have called me, at the moment I hear his voice I dump and block. I've also had a restraining order put out on him but with no address to give them so the most they could extend it was 30 days.

Why..... hmm one can say when you invest time and effort into someone and at some point that relationship dissolves.. you go out into the world and notice the quality is not there.. you start to miss all that.. what's the word.. mm. . Familiarity? There is comfort in what you use to know and remember. Perhaps thinking it could be reworked, rekindled. Sometimes it works sometimes it does not.

Mind you not everyone has good intentions.
Some could just be bored.
Some are just looking for a host to leech off in the meantime.

I think you can narrow the answers down yourself.

Whoa, restraining order? Bad sign!

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
@devilandthedancer


You sound like you already have a strong disdain towards women and you're lowkey taking it out on me right now. Calm the treetrunk down.

I never once said for sure that it was your fault he was so persistent. Notice I said "MOST men" don't do that unless they're being led on. Then I proceeded to tell you that if he's coming at you like that when you're not leading him on it's him who has mental issues. I told you to block him from all outlets because (once again) you left out information that you even blocked him. You're looking for advice as to why he would be doing this anyway, correct? Well that also goes back to my original response which is "normal men do not function this way". So don't expect a NORMAL man to be able to explain to you why your ex is a treetrunking psychopath. No one knows except him.

No, disdain for women here and I don't "lowkey " anything I'm very direct. BUT no, I don't like how we as women tend to give a woman the side eye when something happens between men and women. No, women aren't all victims but damn were also not always the instigator. You make a point, I actually lol'd at the "So don't expect a NORMAL man to be able to explain to you why your ex is a treetrunking psychopath. No one knows except him," part. You're right, valid point there.

But again, men in general, often time can shed light on the behaviors of other men. But as you pointed out, when it falls in line with typical male behavior. This is bizarre and I was hoping to get at some understanding from a male pov with this post but perhaps I failed in my attempts at communicating that and if so then OK, I can admit that. 🎩

Posted by Weeds
Whoa, restraining order? Bad sign!

Weeds, I LOVE your tag !
"27% of the world has homicidal tendencies... the rest are just victims"