How long should I wait for his move?

Hi!

Ive got a serious crush on a coworker who works for a different department, but in the same building. We are both in late 30is, Im divorced with children. I dont know his marital status. I somehow think he is a cap, scorpio or virgo. Maybe virgo. Im cappy.
Our paths started to cross everywhere - in the cafeteria, in the canteen - 3 months ago. He started to give me penetrating eyes and then warm smiles. Finally I found out who he was (saw him sitting in his office and then found out his name based on the office number...). I sent him an email before Christmas introducing myself and told him that I would like to get to know him (short and neutral). He asked me for a coffee in the cafeteria after holidays. We just chatted.

Since then he has made no moves... only his smiles have become more deep and soulful and warm... when our paths cross and our eyes lock he seems so so happy! we change 2-3 sentences.... I cant take it anymore, I have a serious crush on him... Maybe he is involved with someone else (that is very probable), but the situation is getting a bit out of hand (for me, I have 4 planets in scorpio, talk about patience!). I dont understand why he doesnt make a move.

Any insight is appreciated.
ps I cannot go to the cafeteria anymore🙂

Thank you for your answer Virgoguy!
This guy looks very serious/workaholic/shy/reserved/well dressed. But I dont think he is dumb.... it was me who made the first move... in that email I basically asked him for a coffee! And we had this coffee, but we just talked 15 min about our jobs etc, and neither of us insinuated any further encounter.

The way I smile to him... the fact that I go sometimes to the cafeteria right before its closing when he traditionally goes for his last coffee... he KNOWS that I like him. The ball is in his court, I cannot pursue him!

I think he has a family or a girlfriend... but from his smiles I see that he's got quite a crush on me... arggghhh.

Maybe I will try to approach him, if this hide and seek continues... but a grown up man cannot be so shy! Even if he is a virgo! Or are virgos very shy and passive?

The problem is that Im quite picky and I rarely meet someone who captures my attention at the point he has.
I like non-verbal communication and this guy knew instantly who I was and responded positively to my attempt to get to know him. Most of people would have said How the hell are you, why are you contacting me— But he knew who I was, so he felt the non-verbal attraction (so important for us scorpionic phsychic people...).
His smiles are very special - actually no man ever before has smiled to me like this - so much warmness, so much heart!
I think he is involved with someone else.
Ill try to wait a bit and see where it goes.
Thanks for your advice!

Seavixe, why do you say that🙂 Waiting forever?

Shakalaka... yeah, as a cappy I seem to attract my fellow earth signs! With my ex taurus we had a great chemistry, but we both were really strong.... it looks like I need a bit more flexible guy.
Will update this thread if I find out his sign or if there will be any development!😉

Well 1, you work with him so I'm not suprised that he'd be warming & nice to you when you wrote him that email. And two, I think he is involved with someone else. And if that's the case, then him not making a "move" on you has nothing to do with him being shy or being a grown man. If he's involved with someone, he's def. showing some respect to his relationship, which I'm sure you'd appreciate if you were his wife/girlfriend at this time. You're right, you cannot control who you are instantly attracted to BUT you can control whether or not you put yourself in situations that will complicate things. His body language & that Esp stuff is probably what lets you know that he's so attracted but then again, I think you know why he won't make a move. If he has a partner at home, hey him having the body language for that brief period that he's got a mini crush on you is one thing; but if he were to make a move knowing that he's got someone at home, are you sure you'd still think he was so appealing? Maybe he stopped responding to you & cut off that "crush" body language b/c he realized that you might've liked him alot more than he liked you. Some men actually know what that "look" means & to keep them out of trouble and/or from getting themselves into something they can't get out of/that will get them in trouble, some men actually know how to walk away. It sucks for the onlooking women that are crushing on him but it's probably for the best. And hey, let's say he doesn't even have a partner..him not making moves on you still doesn't represent any kind of lack in confidence in him. Some men just don't do the whole "workplace romance" thing..and if not, there's always the possibility that he might think your attractive, but not so much so (since you both don't know eachother) that he'd want to take a chance on you. You never know what people are thinking & where they are in their lives

Why wait? Take the reigns... next time you see him ask him to join you for a cup of coffee later, or better yet to join you for lunch! No waiting or guessing involved anymore! Problem solved.

Let us know how it goes! 🙂

Not to be rude, but there's really no point in analyzing how Virgo, Cap or Scorpio, etc. men react to situations when they're crushing on someone UNTIL you know what his actual sign is. You can guess all day long but unless you know what his sign in, you'll just be wasting your time trying to assume that he's being this way b/c of astrology. There could be outside factors (like him being in a relationship, or him being emotionally unavailable, for example) that have nothing to do with his sign, that could be the reason why he's not giving you any play. And hey, if you really like him alot & feel that you want to chase him, that's understandable. But if that's the case, then you might HAVE to make more moves. You're right, this guy might be shy, thus the only way you might get him & the answers you want is through actually initiating everything primarily. When it comes to certain people, that's the way things are. Either way, just be prepared that you still might not get what you want. Sure, you can't help it when you crush on somebody but then again, don't just sit & try to analyze over things that you don't know yet, either b/c you'll just drive yourself crazy & make this situation out to be more than what it is. Point blank, if you want him, then ask him if he's in a relationship or if he's atleast dating/seeing someone. Practice what you preach. If you want him to chase you then you have to know how to chase too. Plus, you guys are at work & in a professional environment so understand that even though alot of romances are started in the workplace, workplace romances can also be a little confusing b/c of how complicated things can get & how shy 2 people can get when it comes to establishing something. That comes with the territory. Go after what you want & if he won't do the work, it's up to you if you wanna stick around to find out why he's won't.

Hey, very good advices... sure, I wont let this situation drag on much longer, I will make a move in order to get to know him better.

Crushes cannot be controlled, that is the beauty of life. Plus this guy has stared at me 3 months... he has several times runned after me in the cafeteria, slowed his walk in order to let me catch up with him in the hall... and his current smiles show that he has at least some crush on me (Im nearly 40 and I KNOW how a man smiles when is smitten with you... no fantasies here).

If he were happily married, why did he accept my proposal "to get to know each other" and invited me for a coffee? It was a sign that he is somehow "free". So I dont agree that Im the home wrecker here (been married 15 yrs and now divorced). My email was quite clear, every dumb should have understood that I dont want to get to know him for a better professional collaboration! Plus we work for completely different departments in an organization w 1000 people in the same bulding, we dont see each other in our work environment.

Everyone is different, so Ill try to have some patience, as the connection seems really strong and fated (something you come acress few times in lifetime). Maybe this intensity is one reason why it all takes so long.

Well honey, I mean you said it best the 1st time. All the smiling & looking was cute in the beginning but eventually it got old, thus you're now ready to take this assumed crush on both sides, to the next level. I agree with you. Sure, we can sit & try to analyze the way someone smiles at us & what each smile must "mean" but at the end of the day, there is no fun in crushing on someone & knowing that the ONLY thing you've ever got from him was just a mere smile. The way I see it is this way...If I started crushing on a guy then of course, I'd take notice to the little small things he does to get my attention in return. BUT at the end of the day, we're all adults here & this is not highschool. At the end of the day, there has to be some action to it. The mere fact that you are just assuming that he's married or likes you is going to eventually drive you crazy. This guy might be married, might not be. BUT, hey if you're really feeling him that bad then go find out from him, instead of analyzing & assuming. Sure, married men SHOULDn'T be giving the eye to co-workers but hey, let's face it, alot do. Sure, we'd like to assume that only those who are NOT in committed relationships would actually be the only ones to send signals, but then again the reality of it is that both single AND married men do this. Maybe the reason he's only let the "crushing" stay as just "smiling" & crushing is b/c he is in a relationship. And like you said, you can't help it when you're crushing on somebody BUT depending on whether or not you're in the position to put any action/moves to that (committed or not, for example) makes all the difference. If you make your official move & ask these questions to him to get clarity, then you'll feel better. Probably nervous, but atleast better. That way, you'll be able to exhale lol. It'll get old just assuming things about someone else but yet not knowing any real facts. You might have to go 1st & make that move & then go from there. Good luck!

You are right, Krysrenee... it gets old when you have expectations, otherwise it is nice to have someone who has a little crush on you and smiles to you every day. I have already lowered my expectations. If all remains the same, I will make a move next week and ask him about it. It wont be difficult, as he is such a nice person.
I can see that he is not a player, he is really a serious guy and my 2 female colleagues who know him and cross him in the hall have also told me that he never smiles to anyone... he is always so serious. That is quite a contrast with other males in our building... many of them are from South Europe (italians etc) and you can only imagine the smiles nearly every girl gets. He is so different.
I will update next week. Fingers crossed...

Wanted to give an update. The guy turned out to be married and father of three (!) young kids. But he never told me. I had to ask it directly.

...Oh...