Insecure with a crazy relationship

Insecure with my Taurus Man .. help! So i seriously have this huge confusion about my boyfriend ... its long and i dont vare because i really need advice .... ok so me and my taurus bull met back in sept '13 as co workers ... we became friends but i didnt know he was into me until he decided to become sexual with me in nov '13 .. NO SEX .. just foreplay i guess u would call it... ever since we have been talking and became official in jan '15 .. still NO SEX and its because its his choice... we always foreplay and cuddle naked and juices floating around our bodies ... but yet no actual sex... he gets hard and stays hard and no sex... would not allow me to do oral either ... we recently was in a break for a mth and now we r together again ... but yet no sex... close this time.. but no sex... hes 30 about to b 31 .. highly educated but cant hold a job. Hes an alcoholic and porn addict... we smoke together and have the best time ... we argue like lions since im a sagittarius and he literally ignites my fire ... he has some family issues and his car broke down... so i brought another car for myself to help him out... never caught him cheating... hacked through all his emails and facebook ... still not able to hack into his broken phone... all he uses to communicate though is his obama phone... i havent met his friends ... he hardly sees them either .. i never met or seen pictures of his family... but he hardly talks to them... hes with me all the time but lives on his own ..... i caught him lying to me about small shit ... but i just let it go ... its now 2016 and idk what to do with this relationship... during our break i felt like i was literally dying without him... now im with him and all my fucking insecurities came back on the table... my ex of 8yrs was a gemini and was very open and honest with me even when he went with another chick he will tell me until towards the end of our relationship he did cheat on me .. so idk if im still scarred... but this bull doesnt show me any security i guess... he says be patient with me i will have sex with u ... excuses like u will have my baby and i dont want to get caught up in that ... i recently found a girls number in his phone last week and called her supposedly they r just friends ... and for some reason my heart trust that but my mind doesnt ... this all just doesnt make sense... but me and him have such a strong connection its hard to stop being with him... it makes it seem as if we will b together forever. . But when he leaves... i come to reality and ask myself wtf is going on ... help me please

Geesh.. Calm down... Are you okay?

Posted by arose32
Geesh.. Calm down... Are you okay?

No I'm not OK.... this is only my second relationship... a relationship that I originally did not want to jump into since I saw with someone for 8yrs and wanted my freedom.... instead ... I fell for a stranger and I don't know how to detach myself from this crazy ass relationship... I love him ... but I can't trust him if he is hiding all these things for no reason....

Posted by Arielle83
How old are u?

Y u obsessing over a loser?

I'm 26 and he's 31 ... idk y I feel like this towards him .... it's sad really .... he's only my second relationship but there is just something about him that makes me continue on with him... we like the same things... he brings out the good out of me.... we have this strong connection I can't explain ... when we broke up I tried dating other guys but it wasn't the same... it's crazy because as a Sagittarius like before I easily jumped to the next guy in bed after a break up.... this time no it wasn't that easy ... and now I'm back with him waiting to have sex... going for 2 yrs now without actual sex

Posted by Koniucha
You need to pretend like he doesn't exist anymore. He really does sound like a bum.

He's so book smart though ... he graduated and everything but i don't think he's a bum... at least not in my eyes... idk if God really put me in this situation for him ... I've tried leaving but I felt a part of me left ... not the same feeling when me and my ex use to break up... it was easy with the last guy.... ugh 😢 ... I'm dating the devil aren't I?

Posted by Koniucha
What is your sign?

Don't know what else to say. I haven't had many relationships either, but I would rather be alone than with a someone like that.

I'm a Sagittarius and he is a Taurus ... lately he's been super nice... he became a monster when I had a temporary male roommate... my male roommate has a girl also living there ... and I gave my be the house keys to feel secure ... but no ... he literally turned into a monster during this time ... that's y we took the break and I ended up kicking my roommates out ... and now he's a sweet little flower ... yet still confusing as shit!

Posted by Latinaluv514

idk if God really put me in this situation for him ...

enjoy your suffering that you made sure to come here and tell us about. sounds like you're having a wonderful time in it.

so, yes, god put you there for him ... because to use that excuse is a great justification .. nobody can argue against, or use sound judgment if god did it to you ..... so, you have found the perfect excuse to continue being helpless, and you still have the fact that you're a Sagittarius to blame it all on.

"now im with him and all my treetrunking insecurities came back on the table."
"he brings out the good out of me"

i'm confused...

you are confused... 2 years...no sex...he is unstable...you dont know what to do? i would leave him if i were in your shoes...
did you ask him why no sex?

Posted by Latinaluv514

he literally turned into a monster

You created that monster. Take some accountability here.

When you do eventually come to your senses and leave him, the following I'm about to say is vital for your future dating life.

You must set boundaries and standards for yourself and communicate these clearly and concisely to your partner from the beginning.

If sex is important to you, then let it be know. If the other person is not willing to meet your needs you have to be strong enough to walk away.

When you encounter behavior that irks, annoys, or angers you the LAST thing you should do is reward said behavior. Because then it'll become a pattern that you endorsed.

Giving him your keys because he's jealous and insecure is a reward for his tantrum. Purchasing a car for his use because he's short on funds rewards his lazy mentality. Continuing to see him after he withholds sex from you with the accusation that you are crazy REWARDS his bad behavior.

You willingly layed down at his feet and became his doormat. Muster up some self love and don't let it happen again with the next dude.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Latinaluv514

he literally turned into a monster

You created that monster. Take some accountability here.

When you do eventually come to your senses and leave him, the following I'm about to say is vital for your future dating life.

You must set boundaries and standards for yourself and communicate these clearly and concisely to your partner from the beginning.

If sex is important to you, then let it be know. If the other person is not willing to meet your needs you have to be strong enough to walk away.

When you encounter behavior that irks, annoys, or angers you the LAST thing you should do is reward said behavior. Because then it'll become a pattern that you endorsed.

Giving him your keys because he's jealous and insecure is a reward for his tantrum. Purchasing a car for his use because he's short on funds rewards his lazy mentality. Continuing to see him after he withholds sex from you with the accusation that you are crazy REWARDS his bad behavior.

You willingly layed down at his feet and became his doormat. Muster up some self love and don't let it happen again with the next dude.

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Thank u ... can I ask u something? R u currently in a relationship? And how long?

I am, only been with him 5 months. Dated around 8 months.