truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Long Term Relationships
I've noticed it a lot more than at weddings. Funerals, the doctor's office, running into acquaintances in town, etc.
I wonder too if the couple just looks that much in love, that people assume things.
Tiz, I do think you're onto something with that people want that for themselves. Also, people that are happily married want that happiness for other people as well.
I wonder too if the couple just looks that much in love, that people assume things.
Tiz, I do think you're onto something with that people want that for themselves. Also, people that are happily married want that happiness for other people as well.
Posted by djbuck1
Tradition. Social norms. Societal expectations.
DXP is the abberation, not marriage. I'm not going to argue the "right" or "wrong" of marriage, or whether it's good or bad. The vast majority of the couples I know are married.
What you are describing are assumptions grounded in common experience, no matter how much to the contrary many on here wish it were not so.
You're right, I don't want this to be a thread about the pros and cons of marriage.
It's just something I've noticed that people are starting to assume about us. Not really trying to ask anything, it's just curiosity about people's assumptions in general.
Posted by truecap
Do people say things hoping you'll either confirm or correct them so they can know more about your relationship?
Most likely ... after all, who really gives a fuck if anybody is married?
You care about them, and their happiness. The only time marriage of another ever comes up is when babies are mentioned, or health insurance. Other than that, the general population of (this) society doesn't really care.
One only needs to read dxp to find out that a lot of people don't even care about marriage of the other person when romantic feelings are involved.
So, that logical assumption then becomes - they're nosey.
My experience is that Weddings are like Super Bowls or World Series's for women. Also women love to stir the pot for other women so they can watch what happens.
Pressuring other people into long term permanent decisions makes others feel superior.
It none of their business.
BUT
One caveat is that younger people need to be pused to focus on serious life choices. Older people can be left to their own devices.
Pressuring other people into long term permanent decisions makes others feel superior.
It none of their business.
BUT
One caveat is that younger people need to be pused to focus on serious life choices. Older people can be left to their own devices.
A lot of people assume that marriage is the ultimate goal for 2 people in a relationship.
They assume that there shouldn't be any other reason for being in a relationship unless you expect the relationship to eventually head in the direction of marriage. Of course this mentality is bred from people who heavily in marriage. And of course, it should be no surprise that MANY MANY people do heavily believe in marriage lol
So when people see a couple who have been together for awhile & seem to truly fancy one another, they naturally assume that marriage is the end goal, thus leading them to be curious about any wedding plans they assume you may have (or should have) already talked about.
They assume that there shouldn't be any other reason for being in a relationship unless you expect the relationship to eventually head in the direction of marriage. Of course this mentality is bred from people who heavily in marriage. And of course, it should be no surprise that MANY MANY people do heavily believe in marriage lol
So when people see a couple who have been together for awhile & seem to truly fancy one another, they naturally assume that marriage is the end goal, thus leading them to be curious about any wedding plans they assume you may have (or should have) already talked about.
Sometimes though people are indifferent & are just asking to be nosy. Or to see the reactions of you two.
There's nothing more embarrassing to a woman, or gossip worthy to a bunch of nosy ladies when they see a man get stiff & give the "oh helllll no" look when asked about marrying the one he loves. The 1st thing people like this subconsciously think is that mmmmmhmmm he's not really serious about her if he turned his nose up when asked about marriage lol
But again, of course, this mentality is coming from people who heavily believe in marriage & have negative connotations about women & men shacking up or giving their all to each other without being married first or at least contemplating it in the near future. Most of the time though, it's the woman who looks like she's settling or being used, while the guy is looked at as being the noncommittal bachelor who oughta be ashamed for not giving his woman what others ASSUME she most likely ideally wants ---> marriage.
I don't think they mean any harm though. Most people also assume that if they see 2 people together all the time, always kissing all over each other & professing their love for one another online that they must be in an official relationship! Technically, that couple would have every right to be annoyed with other's automatic assumptions especially if they're actually NOT together. But to be fair, they can't blame others for automatically assuming that
There's nothing more embarrassing to a woman, or gossip worthy to a bunch of nosy ladies when they see a man get stiff & give the "oh helllll no" look when asked about marrying the one he loves. The 1st thing people like this subconsciously think is that mmmmmhmmm he's not really serious about her if he turned his nose up when asked about marriage lol
But again, of course, this mentality is coming from people who heavily believe in marriage & have negative connotations about women & men shacking up or giving their all to each other without being married first or at least contemplating it in the near future. Most of the time though, it's the woman who looks like she's settling or being used, while the guy is looked at as being the noncommittal bachelor who oughta be ashamed for not giving his woman what others ASSUME she most likely ideally wants ---> marriage.
I don't think they mean any harm though. Most people also assume that if they see 2 people together all the time, always kissing all over each other & professing their love for one another online that they must be in an official relationship! Technically, that couple would have every right to be annoyed with other's automatic assumptions especially if they're actually NOT together. But to be fair, they can't blame others for automatically assuming that
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Soo, there's someone that I've met that I have some semi interest in, and I think it may be vice versa as well. I've bee
From multiple women. You know who I'm talking about. That guy who, no matter how awesome you are, will continue to seek
When you see your ex has downgraded?? I think that's silly If you like the aspect of him doing bad, have you ever
Matters when getting married?
So what's your view on people with too many friends of the opposite sex? Is there such a thing? How many counts as to
My sister who is sixteen is with a guy who is eighteen. I honestly don't think this a big deal. My take on the situation
There's this adorable guy at work that I've known for awhile. I'll be 25 this year and he just turned 29. We me at w
Do you think height still matters in choosing a mate? I'm looking at this girl and she's 5'11 and I'm 5'10 and wonder
What's the longest (days/months/years) it's ever taken you to get over someone you were in a past relationship/friendshi
Do couples in long term relationships just appear cozy and that comfortable with each other? Do people say things hoping you'll either confirm or correct them so they can know more about your relationship?
I've just started to notice this lately and I'm just curious about other opinions on this....