natural25
@natural25
16 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
MEN: Using Lies as Alibies
Yep, most everyone knows my story... you can read about it on the Pisces board if you care enough... but here's what I will tell you.... He tried every lie in the book once I found out. I didn't take that shit lying down. I got to the bottom of it by grilling him for a couple hours, going through his phone, AND talking to girl herself and all the psycho shit I needed to do to find it ALL out. No questions left.
End of story, I found out everything I needed to know. Walked away and NEVER looked back. If I still had questions I don't think I could have done that. Your friend needs to get to the bottom of it. Where there's smoke there's fire. If it turns out it was just a piece of newspaper that caught fire but it wasn't a real bonfire, cool, he should be able to forgive her for doing her due diligence. If he can't, he wasn't worth it anyway. I will never go on someone's blind faith and trust when I have people telling me that kind of shit. DXPers, ya'll can attack me for that is you like, but I ain't never changing my mind about that... There's too much to risk with diseases and whatnot, much less a shattered ticker.
Cheaters, liars, and the whole gamete can kiss my cute tan behind.
All my quick talking and sarcasm across the boards... I'm truly sorry your friend is experiencing this. I've been through a lot personally and professionally and there's not much that can really shake my core, but being lied to, led on, etc etc really jacked my mind.
End of story, I found out everything I needed to know. Walked away and NEVER looked back. If I still had questions I don't think I could have done that. Your friend needs to get to the bottom of it. Where there's smoke there's fire. If it turns out it was just a piece of newspaper that caught fire but it wasn't a real bonfire, cool, he should be able to forgive her for doing her due diligence. If he can't, he wasn't worth it anyway. I will never go on someone's blind faith and trust when I have people telling me that kind of shit. DXPers, ya'll can attack me for that is you like, but I ain't never changing my mind about that... There's too much to risk with diseases and whatnot, much less a shattered ticker.
Cheaters, liars, and the whole gamete can kiss my cute tan behind.
All my quick talking and sarcasm across the boards... I'm truly sorry your friend is experiencing this. I've been through a lot personally and professionally and there's not much that can really shake my core, but being lied to, led on, etc etc really jacked my mind.
Gems - Thanks for sharing. Yes, there is no greater betrayal than being lied to. When a person cheats and then lies continuously about it, there is no greater pain and disrespect! It's like, ok, not only have you been cheating on me but now you are going to lie to my about it to my face! Lol. Too much...
Been there, done that.
Once I make the other person aware that I'm 100% sure they're lying & yet if they STILL lie, that's when I lose all respect for them.
The key/problem though is in exactly HOW you know they're lying for sure. If you only know b/c of he-said-she-said the other person can quickly throw it in your face that you "shouldn't listen to gossip." In some cases, that's absolutely true---gossip is NOT always true, nor can you believe everything you hear. HOWEVER, if 100 people are saying the same things about 1 person & yet that 1 person is the only 1 disagreeing, there's a chance that the rumors are true...In other words, all 100 people weren't imagining things.
Here's the thing...when a person makes the decision to lie & take that lie to the grave, that decision is usually final. That's why they'll even stick to the same story even after all the evidence of their lies are brought to the table & put in their face. Pathological liars are more loyal to their own lies than they are to the people they love.
I've always lost more respect for the women that give men lie detector tests than I actually do the men who lie! As my cousin always says, "If you've gotta take a man on the Maury show just to find out of if he's faithful, that oughta tell you something! He's not worth it!"
Sometimes ya just "know." Problem is, people don't trust their own instincts.
Studying the art of body language has really helped me break down the social dynamics of liars. Even good liars eventually give themselves away. And if they keep getting away with murder, it's b/c you haven't paid attention or looked for the RIGHT signs
Once I make the other person aware that I'm 100% sure they're lying & yet if they STILL lie, that's when I lose all respect for them.
The key/problem though is in exactly HOW you know they're lying for sure. If you only know b/c of he-said-she-said the other person can quickly throw it in your face that you "shouldn't listen to gossip." In some cases, that's absolutely true---gossip is NOT always true, nor can you believe everything you hear. HOWEVER, if 100 people are saying the same things about 1 person & yet that 1 person is the only 1 disagreeing, there's a chance that the rumors are true...In other words, all 100 people weren't imagining things.
Here's the thing...when a person makes the decision to lie & take that lie to the grave, that decision is usually final. That's why they'll even stick to the same story even after all the evidence of their lies are brought to the table & put in their face. Pathological liars are more loyal to their own lies than they are to the people they love.
I've always lost more respect for the women that give men lie detector tests than I actually do the men who lie! As my cousin always says, "If you've gotta take a man on the Maury show just to find out of if he's faithful, that oughta tell you something! He's not worth it!"
Sometimes ya just "know." Problem is, people don't trust their own instincts.
Studying the art of body language has really helped me break down the social dynamics of liars. Even good liars eventually give themselves away. And if they keep getting away with murder, it's b/c you haven't paid attention or looked for the RIGHT signs
Krys - I couldn't agree with you more! I think a large part of it is also that women do NOT want to believe when they are told that a man is cheating on them. Even it is staring them in the face. Whether it be because she —loves?? the man, does not want to be alone, is needy, feels she cant do better or a combination of any of these. This makes it easy for men to lie. They have become so used to being able to get away with telling bold face lies because some women will accept being lied to in place of being alone and/or starting over which is very unfortunate. I say this because I have been there done that. Lol. I have let things/lies slide that I knew I should not have, hoping that things would —change??. Unfortunate part about it is that they never do. Lol.
He may have seen that show to try to prepare! LOL, good laugh.
Lmao!!! Omg that was priceless. Especially, the second clip. Sad but true. SMH.
@Natural: That's the problem. Women don't like hearing this but they play a HUGE role in why so many men lie, cheat and/or disrespect their partners. And here's why: The min. you make someone aware that they've gotten over on you, fooled you or can get away with murder, they NO longer have the incentive to be honest with you, do right by you or respect you.
In other words, you TEACH people how to TREAT you. And if a man still gets all the benefits AND still has you even AFTER he's played you for a fool, it's actually YOUR fault that he keeps playing you. And since there's always another "next chick" that's willing to put up with it even after he leaves you, even the next chick is partly responsible b/c men only do what they actively get away with. Sad but true.
The quicker women realize that, the better quality of relationships they'll have. Women are so afraid to have standards. They'd rather put up with bull all just for the sake of still having "someone/something" moreso than taking the risk of losing the Ahole in the name of having standards.
Mama always told me that if you've got to say R.I.P. to your own standards just to keep the peace or keep a man, that's the biggest indication of them all that your man isn't worth it! Smh smh
If only women would realize, it's much more draining, heart-breaking & painful to do bad WITH someone than it is to do bad without someone. Being with someone who hurts/disrespect you completely DEFEATS the purpose of what it means to have a companion in the 1st place.
In other words, you TEACH people how to TREAT you. And if a man still gets all the benefits AND still has you even AFTER he's played you for a fool, it's actually YOUR fault that he keeps playing you. And since there's always another "next chick" that's willing to put up with it even after he leaves you, even the next chick is partly responsible b/c men only do what they actively get away with. Sad but true.
The quicker women realize that, the better quality of relationships they'll have. Women are so afraid to have standards. They'd rather put up with bull all just for the sake of still having "someone/something" moreso than taking the risk of losing the Ahole in the name of having standards.
Mama always told me that if you've got to say R.I.P. to your own standards just to keep the peace or keep a man, that's the biggest indication of them all that your man isn't worth it! Smh smh
If only women would realize, it's much more draining, heart-breaking & painful to do bad WITH someone than it is to do bad without someone. Being with someone who hurts/disrespect you completely DEFEATS the purpose of what it means to have a companion in the 1st place.
Krys - "The min. you make someone aware that they've gotten over on you, fooled you or can get away with murder, they NO longer have the incentive to be honest with you, do right by you or respect you."
Right! Tbis is simply human nature. Especially, in romantic relationships. We as women HOPE that our s/o will not behave in this way, but the likelihood is very great for it. Like you said, we teach folks how to treat us.
It's so funny becasue something kind of similar happened to me like this and then this happened to my friend. Maybe, it's something in the fish? LMAO! In her case, it's a little weird because the guy who gave her the info is a little questionable and his facts appear to be kind of shakey, he acutally might be lying. This only makes it harder for her becasue she really doesnt know what to do. It was funny becasue last night she called me asking me what I think she should. This was probably the 20th time she has asked me. Lol. I told her the same thing I had been telling her, "I dont know girl." Lol. SMH.
Lmao @ "It wasnt me".
Right! Tbis is simply human nature. Especially, in romantic relationships. We as women HOPE that our s/o will not behave in this way, but the likelihood is very great for it. Like you said, we teach folks how to treat us.
It's so funny becasue something kind of similar happened to me like this and then this happened to my friend. Maybe, it's something in the fish? LMAO! In her case, it's a little weird because the guy who gave her the info is a little questionable and his facts appear to be kind of shakey, he acutally might be lying. This only makes it harder for her becasue she really doesnt know what to do. It was funny becasue last night she called me asking me what I think she should. This was probably the 20th time she has asked me. Lol. I told her the same thing I had been telling her, "I dont know girl." Lol. SMH.
Lmao @ "It wasnt me".
@Natural...see the mere fact that she's gotta keep asking herself if he's lying oughta indicate to her that he's doing EXACTLY what her intuition believes he's doing. She already has the answer to her own question, she just refuses to believe it b/c it's probably easier for her to 2nd guess her own intelligence rather than accepting reality & letting this dude go.
Her intuition won't settle down or stop sending warning bells to her b/c her intuition is correct & it won't stop until she stops second guessing it! That's the beautiful thing about intuition...it never stops bugging us until we stop denying it! Our intuitions are like stalkers! They never go away!
Her intuition won't settle down or stop sending warning bells to her b/c her intuition is correct & it won't stop until she stops second guessing it! That's the beautiful thing about intuition...it never stops bugging us until we stop denying it! Our intuitions are like stalkers! They never go away!
Dam intuition! Lol. Its a sad, sad situation. The terrible part is that the older my friends and I get, the harder it is and the higher the stakes become.
Posted by SweetLibraPosted by natural25
Dam intuition! Lol. Its a sad, sad situation. The terrible part is that the older my friends and I get, the harder it is and the higher the stakes become.
It also adds to the problem of why there seems to be a lack of quality men these days and it brings our stock down. If more women walked away from those kind of men they wouldn't think they could get away with it as much.
.click to expand
Great point! All the men who cheat & play women are NOT bad guys. They may only be disrespectful or scandalous with the particular woman they're dating AT THE TIME simply b/c she allows it & puts up with it. But that very same man may be completely devoted, faithful & respectful to the next girl simply b/c she made her standards known from the get-go.
Some people don't believe that man can change. They assume that if a man cheats on 1 woman, that he'll be the same with every other woman he dates. NOT true! The common denominator in relationships that consists of the man cheating on/betraying his partner is that there's always some chick willing to put up with it.
I rarely ever see a bad guy being "bad" when he's with a woman who actually demands his respect & leaves him the very 1st time he crosses the line! Those kinds of guys purposely flock to & prey on standardless women for a reason...but if you notice, they're quick to get their shxt together when the RIGHT chick crosses their path!
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